Breathing Lessons

I sighed and leaned my head back against the headrest. It seemed only yesterday I was in an airplane, heading from the Amazon rainforest to Egypt. My father was in the US Air Force and volunteered my family to be part of the group stationed over seas. Dad promised this would be our last move; as I quickly pointed out that it probably wasn't. After all the fun places I'd been, Forks sounded like Hicksville.

Forks was a small town by Washington State, about a three hour drive to Seattle in America. My home country even though I'd never lived with in its boarders. After living in five different cities in Egypt and within walking distance of the Aztec temples of the Moon and Sun, a small unknown town sounded pretty boring.

Surprisingly I fell asleep. I didn't realize that I had until the annoying Bing of the seat sign woke me. I pulled my seat up and fastened my seat belt. My hair had fallen out of its confinement and cascaded around my shoulders. I couldn't find my rubber band, and the plane began descending. The decent was exhilarating and fascinating. Everyone did something different. Beside me my mom turned green and I laughed.

"Show off," she muttered between clenched teeth. I laughed again. Poor mom; she was always sick, almost like she was allergic to everything under the sun. I, gratefully, didn't inherit. I did inherit my eyes from her; dark root beer brown and almond shaped. My lips where hers as well, the kind that boys stared at (when they weren't staring at my boobs). I was mainly a cross between both my parents.

Mom was African-American with very dark skin. Her ancestry traced back to Egyptian roots; but most recently slaves in the 1600's. She was a lovely woman, skinny, but with the same motherly charm heavy-set women in movies where portrayed. She loved to cook, and hoped that our new house had a large kitchen.

Dad was pure bred American. He actually lived in Forks when he was growing up. That's why we where going back. Dad had hit his fifties so he retired and decided to move us back here with the money.

The mix of these two races resulted in me. I had creamy brown skin- not unlike Halle Berry. My hair was lighter, a tawny color instead. I tried my best to resemble the great actress, but didn't succeed very well. I was not that pretty, and I would never be. But remarkable enough, some kid in Egypt said I was gorgeous. I found our later that his friend was the one who wanted to screw me. Wow, did my life suck. But I learned to deal with it. I had no accent surprisingly, even after years of speaking a different language.

We spoke English at home, so I guess that's why I don't have an accent; away from the out side world we where pure Americans. I tried to think of how life in real America would be, and shivered. The thought was scarier than it should have been. Americans couldn't be that bad... could they?

I was wrong. Americans where not scary, they are terrifying.

We stepped off the plane and into the Seattle airport. Everywhere there where people fighting, arguing, sleeping, eating, everything! There where people with multiple hair colors, and multiple piercings. There was even a girl my age, or younger, about six months pregnant. The sounds and lights and smells knocked us off our feet.

We gathered our courage and walked through the dizzying building; with dad in his full uniform leading the way. I carried as much of our luggage as I could, hope to relive some of the strain on mom. Outside a black, nondescript car waited for us. The chauffeur opened the door as soon as he saw dad and let us in; then came the long three hour drive to Forks.

The first little bit of the trip was when I learned about my new school. I was now going to a real public High School, and not one conveniently located on Base. I had nothing in common with these kids at all-- all three hundred and seventy-five of them; me being the three hundred and seventy fifth person. Everyone knew who was going out with who, who had broken up with who and so on. It was all very annoying and the more I heard, the more I wanted to leave it. I would stick out like a yellow balloon in a sea of blue balloons. There was no stopping it though- we where going to be here forever.

The rest was spent sleeping. I had major jet-lag and could hardly keep my eyes open. I vaguely remember hearing about our house, an old light house on the edge of an Indian Reservation- which the Base had graciously decorated and put in furniture to fit each persons own individual taste. I hoped they had paid enough attention to my likes and dislikes. I fell asleep in mid-thought and didn't wake up until I could feel some one carrying me, but I fell right back asleep instantly.

I woke up groggy and disoriented. It was dark out side and I couldn't find a clock in the dark. My eyes adjusted, and I saw that it wasn't night, but around six in the morning. What caused the dark was a cloudy sky and rain. I now lived in a place rainier then a rain forest. I almost laughed.

I climbed out of the bed I had found myself in. A light switch was conveniently located on the wall right by my bed. The lights slowly lit up, allowing my eyes to grow accustomed to the light. These lights only illuminated the room where my bed was. They where a designer style of light set up in the ceiling; the glow was soft and gave the bed a comfortable look. I then realized that the only way out of the room was down a ladder.

My bed was in a loft.

The room below was huge in my eyes. The ceiling slopped downward from the top of my bedroom ceiling to end at a sharp angle with the far wall. I was sure my voice would echo in a room this size.

The floor was hard wood and someone had de-stressed it before putting it down so it looked— and not felt— a hundred years old. It went along beautifully with the color scheme of the room. Someone had paid very close attention to my likes.

Deep mahogany wood and garnet paint and some black and gold paint. The walls where a garnet like color with more black then was needed mixed in. Gold paint had been randomly splattered over the other paint and glinted when you moved. Against one wall was a mahogany desk with deep, intricate designs hand carved into the surface. A laptop sat waiting for me with the lid closed and wires connecting it to and Internet connection, a printer, and an Ipod twisted around its back. A small collection of books garnished the top of the desk with rusted bookends.

A flat screen TV hung on the wall above a cut-out that held a DVD/VCR player. Two skinny horizontal poles stood away from the wall, one on either side of the TV. It took me a while to realize they where the speakers. Bean bag chairs where shoved into a corner to be pulled out at will. A vanity occupied the other wall with its mahogany wood and detailed carvings. They really had done their homework.

Down stairs, Mom and Dad where up and sitting in a kitchen off to the right of the front door. A quick glance around the room made me think of the Addam's family. The house had a similar floor plan and probably just as big—only clean.

I greeted my family with a big, toothy smile and hugs for everyone. Mom was overjoyed that I seemed to be enjoying Forks so far. Dad went back to his newspaper; probably hiding a smile.

"What's on the agenda for the day?" I flopped down into a chair at the table while mom piled eggs, sausage, and hash browns onto my plate.

"I'm taking you down to the DMV so you can drive yourself." Dad's twisted way of talking was muffled slightly by the paper. I watched him while chewing on a huge mouthful of egg.

"I will just be staying here." Mom piled food onto her and Dad's plates and dug in.

Meal time was a big deal around our house. It was the time when we where all together and talking and just plain enjoying each other's company. A habit we picked up when we where in South America; we continued it now, four years later.

The DMV; that meant that I was going to finally be able to drive; legally though. I hoped I would get to drive when we got to Forks, and own my own car. That seemed like a possibility, one I hoped to get; with much pleading if necessary. I'd studied as hard as I could about the driving laws in America once I found we where going to be relocated there then later the laws of Forks. My brains where scattered all over my desk from studying. Without Moms help, I would have probably hemorrhaged to death over it.

The trip to the DMV was the longest thing I have ever sat through. My nerves where completely shot and I was no better then the statues in a museum. Dad, bless him, told me comforting stories and reminded me of all I'd been through— all the things I'd lived through— and just how much I should be scared of a drivers test. It wasn't very much, but I still couldn't help but feel butterflies— or bats— ramming around inside my stomach.

The test was easier then I'd ever thought possible. I could have cried at the obvious simplicity of the test. Once, behind the wheel of a car seemed like a nightmare, now drowned in the joy of the rush of victory. They stood me up against the wall and right before the picture was taken, I stuck out my tongue and held up two fingers in the "victory" v shape. The camera lady laughed her head off as she handed me my license. I tripped over myself in my haste to get to Dad's car. He was just as happy as me and celebrated by singing "I'm proud of you" over and over. I couldn't help but join in when his enthusiasm poisoned me.

At home, sitting in the driveway was a brand new Audi Nuvolari in the brightest shade of red ever. Stamped across the back where several bumper stickers, but I couldn't read them from here. But I could read the license plate, RD-DEVIL; I had no idea what it meant.

"Dad, were we expecting someone?" I questioned, watching his face. A smile was being bitten back, but it still glistened in his eyes.

"That's for you sweetie." He finally laughed out. I was out of the door and heading to my car, my Audi, before he was finished. I heard him laughing as he parked his car and I threw open the door. The keys where sitting on the seat waiting for me. The engine roared to life and purred as it waited for my command. Mom and Dad stood on the porch watching as I pulled away from the house and took off for a drive around the town.

As I drove, several things caught my eye. One was a flashy new Mazda RX-8. All the cars I'd seen where old beat up Sedans and Suburbans. To see a car that had just been released parked off to the side of the road threw me for a loop. I brushed it off to see the few people that where outside waving at me. Word had gotten around the town already. I hated to see what would happen if I went out on a date.

A highway led to everywhere in the town. I followed it around, testing out the Audi. I found my high school, more like a collection of buildings then anything. I dreaded going tomorrow and having to face the people. I stopped off at a store and bought myself several jackets and hoodies for the new weather climate. I would adjust fairly quickly, but until then I wasn't going to freeze. I slept horribly that night.

School the next day was a horrid monster looming over me at breakfast. I knew Mom and Dad could feel it too, all from the way I zombied through my breakfast. I ate it numbly with my eyes unseeing and unblinking. How was I going to make it through the day? I didn't think we would really be here long, seeing as how we moved a lot, but Dad was retiring and wanted to be in his home town. I was ninety-nine point nine percent sure that Dad knew everyone still here and by tomorrow he would know everyone else. I was not to happy about staying here where it was too cold and always rained. I did not intend on making any friends nor did I want to be a topic of gossip my whole life here. Those two wishes could not happen at once, so I had to choose one or the other and that depended on how the school was.

The school itself was a collection of buildings built out of maroon bricks, numbered by little plaques. I found a spot in front of the office building and took a deep, calming breath before heading in.

Stacks of paper cluttered the room and threatened to topple over onto the woman behind the desk. She looked up at me and my "demon child" hoodie and frowned. When I introduced myself her frown disappeared by a smile and an apology. She found me a schedule and a map and outlined routes to each of my classes. I gave my thanks and left.

The parking lot had filled slowly while I was in there and so I followed the flow of traffic to the student parking lot. The Mazda I'd spotted yesterday was there, and I parked next to it to show off my Audi while inwardly fuming at the car. I don't know why it irked me when I was no better then them with my Audi.

My first class was English, a subject I was all to good at. I found it with no problem and took my seat in the back of the class and out of the way. The teacher droned on and on and all I could do was stay awake. I wanted nothing more then to fall asleep and never wake up. But wishes don't get one a scholarship. I would just have to deal with a boring teacher until they talked about something different, something exciting. In English? Dream on.

Once the bell rang for the end of class a boy with black hair and glasses turned to me. He seemed the Chess Club type to me, and I made a mental note to stay away from him if possible. I learned his name was Eric and was defiantly Chess Club material. He walked me to my next class and left me at the door with a barley concealed sigh.

Trigonometry was just as bad as English. I had already learned this stuff in my class on Base, but I kept my mouth shut and focused once again on keeping my eyes open. It was tough work, but I did it. I had Photography next after Trig and Auto Shop after that. I was surprised to know that they even had a Auto Shop class here. A small choir was my next class, and I felt weird going into a choir class covered in grease from a car. But I pulled through once again.

A girl from one of my other classes saw me on my way to lunch and invited me to join her friends at their lunch table. I gave in and joined her.

A quick scan around the room for possible escape routes showed my eyes a table in the far corner. Five people sat at it— five extremely, inhumanly beautiful people.

Each one had a tray of food in front of them but weren't eating a single bite. Three where male, the other two where female.

One male was tall and lean with honey blonde hair. Another was big, like a weight lifter, with curly brown hair. The last one was stouter, still tall, but not as thin as the blonde or as big as the brown. His hair was an odd bronze color and perfectly messy, but not overly so.

One female was thin and pixie like, resembling a ballerina. Her hair was short, black, and pointing in all directions. The other was so perfect; I wanted to crawl under a rock so I wasn't seen by this beautiful woman. Her hair was a russet color and fell around her shoulders like velvet.

Each of them had perfect and flawless faces. Angular and soft, evenly placed and smooth. I wanted to touch one of their faces just to see if it would feel like silk. Every eye was dark as night despite the range in hair color. They had soft bruise like shadows under their eyes like they weren't getting enough sleep or just recovering from a broken nose.

But I didn't pay this any attention for all I could do was stare and wonder who was the most beautiful. Was it the russet girl of the bronze haired boy?

The girl— who's name I remembered now as Jessica— waved her hand in front of my face.

"Hello? What are you staring at?" she asked, obviously wondering if I was insane or something.

"Who are they?" I jerked my head at the five who still hadn't moved. Jessica glanced at them and rolled her eyes.

"Oh. That's Edward, Emmett and Alice Cullen and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. Jasper and Rosalie are twins and foster kids to Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. They adopted Edward, Emmett and Alice at a young age." I nodded to show I was listening. "Apparently they're 'together'. Rosalie and Emmett and Jasper and Alice."

"Which one is Edward?" I asked, hoping he was the only one with out a girlfriend.

"The one with the bronze color hair; watch out though, he doesn't date."

I wondered when he turned her down. I was still going to try though. As if hearing his name, Edward turned to look at me. I instantly felt self-conscious for once in my life and ducked my head. He was just so beautiful, like a model. I wanted to cry from shear amazement and sorrow that I wasn't any where near as beautiful as them; to even have a prayer of him looking at me.

"What are they doing in this boring town?" I muttered. Jessica shrugged, missing the insult I had said.

My next class was Biology with a boy named Mike— who seemed intent on being my best friend. The class room was full by the time the teacher arrived. By now the only empty place was next to Edward Cullen. My heart beat speed up as I neared the table, book in hand.

But when I got there I froze, every muscle in my body as stiff as Edward had just become. And his eyes where black, coal black.

As I settled in to my seat he shifted his seat to the very extreme edge of the table length and then he still moved to the edge of his chair. One hand rested on his knee in a tight fist, tendons standing out under his pale skin. Up close I realized he was more muscular then I had thought he was when he was next to his burly brother. His skin was like marble or alabaster, perfectly smooth and looked so hard and yet so soft. I wanted to touch him, and then to ask him what was wrong. But something held me back, refusing to let me even open my mouth.

Now I was so self-conscious I couldn't think straight. What was wrong with me? Guys where on my "to do" list. I never had anytime for a boyfriend, let alone want one, but now that I lived in this boring town, my subconscious mind had registered my freedom where I hadn't.

I hoped I didn't smell bad and pulled my hair over my shoulder so I didn't have to look at his perfection or his odd stiffness. Maybe this was normal behavior for him. Maybe that was why he sat alone with his family at lunch— I knew it had to be something like that; he was to gorgeous to even be alone. With that thought in my head I was able to keep my sanity all little bit longer.

As soon as the bell rang Edward was out of his seat and out the door before any of us could move. I stared after him until Mike drew my attention away from him.

"What did you do? Did you poke Edward with a pencil or something?"

I knew he meant no harm as we walked to Gym together, but somehow it made me mad. I wasn't the one at fault here and yet it sounded like I was. I fought to keep my anger down and my self control up. The last thing I needed was a scene in front of the whole school.

I managed to get through Gym just fine, but I still was wondering about the whole thing with Edward. One thing I couldn't get out of my head was his beauty. Next to him Leonardo's angels paled in comparison. Such beauty was odd on a male, but somehow he managed it. Once again I was taken off guard by him. His whole person was a distiller for my mind. Nothing was working right and I knew it, but I couldn't stop my self.

I should explain something here. I won't go into too much detail; that will ruin the surprise. When something intrigues me, or bothers me in someway, I become obsessive over that one thing until it practically consumes me until I figure it out. That is what happened with Edward Cullen. For a whole week he was missing from school. I wanted a chance to ask him what his problem was, but he was never there for me to ask him. I slowly began to wonder if I had just imagined him, but no I couldn't have. His family was still here. That automatically threw that one option out the window.

And then it happened.

I got too comfortable with the setting I had been forced into. I could now talk openly to Mike and Jessica and a girl named Angela— who had the same Biology class as me. I was enjoying it here. That was what I vowed not to do, but somehow I did. But everything was still so green— to green. The rainforests where nice, and I'd adjusted to Egypt so well, but Forks— I would go insane. True if I was indoors I could stand it, but outside was torture. I supposed someday I would get over it and adjust, but I was not prepared for what came next.

Mike met me just inside the door so we could walk to lunch together. I rattled on and on about a girl I sat next to, hoping she would hear before heading out the door where I froze in mid-step.

Powdery whit stuff covered the ground and fell in clumps from the sky. I flattened myself against the wall as hard as I could and stared out at the glistening white mush in horror. It looked like God had ripped open a teddy bear and dumped the cotton all over the ground.

"What is it?!" I managed while Mike yanked me away from the wall.

"Snow," Mike answered. "Jeeze Riv, it's like you've never seen snow before." He was leading me gingerly by the hand towards the lunch room like I was a lost child. Maybe I was at that point.

"Only in movies." I watched my breath rise in a mist around my mouth, and smiled. Mike took it as a good sigh and let go of my hand to launch a snowball at my face. I screamed like I was shot and scraped at the wetness that filled my face. Mike's laugher was cut short by my snowball at his face. We laughed and threw snowballs back and forth all the way to the lunchroom.

I quickly glanced around the room for Jessica and the crew, so naturally my eyes swept over table in the far corner.

There where five people there.

My breath came up short. I stopped and remained in the doorway, frozen and nervous. Mike calmly guided me toward the lunch line. I suppose he was used to my weirdness already and didn't bother to ask why I was now hyperventilating. After sitting down, wedged between Mike and Jess, I fully intended to ask him what he had against me, even if he was glaring.

But he was laughing. Jasper, Emmett and Edward all had dripping wet hair and where shaking it at Alice and Rosalie. The perfect group of people for the movie I had been imagining. They where enjoying the snowy day just like everyone else— meaning they where human-- only they where perfect.

"Riv, what are you staring at?" Jess made me jump. Edward's eyes flashed over to me as if he saw me jump. I looked down so fast I thought I got whiplash. He didn't look mad at all, just curious and unsatisfied somehow.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you." Jess giggled.

"He doesn't look angry does he?" I gushed, my voice no louder then a sigh like I'd been holding my breath. Maybe I was. I didn't know anything anymore.

"No, should he? He's still staring at you!"

I groaned and let my head fall onto the table with a thud. The kids nearest me lifted their trays in the air as my head hit the table and once my head was still they set them back down as if nothing had happened.

Mike started talking about an epic snowball battle he wanted to have after school and wanted us to join him. Jessica agreed whole heartedly, but I— as politely as I could— declined.

But as we headed out the door of the cafeteria everyone but me groaned. The majority of the school was crammed in the doorway watching the snow melt. As they finished their groan my hands shot into the air and I let out a triumphant yell, all thoughts of Edward momentarily forgotten. Everyone looked at me and I blushed. But they only laughed and started throwing what was left of the snow at me.

I staggered in to Biology, dripping like I'd jumped into a pool. I bet I looked like a martyr but a brood, idiotic grin was stretched from ear to ear on my face. Edward was there, sitting at my table and Mike gave me a hopeful thumps-up. I tried to return it, but my enthusiasm was gone. Now I was cold and miserable and wet and trying to put on a good face. Edward didn't try not to look at me, but he still sat as far away as possible.

"You must me Riven Grimm." a quiet, musical voice blew at me from my right.

I was stunned. I looked around at him slowly as if he would disappear. His hair was dripping and disheveled— but he still managed to look like he'd finished a commercial for shampoo. His dazzling face was friendly with a slight smile on his flawless lips. But it didn't reach his eyes.

"My name is Edward Cullen," he continued dispite my gaping mouth. "I didn't get a chance to introduce myself last time." I had to blink multiple times before I was sure enough that he wasn't going to disappear before I could answer him.

"How do you know my name?" was all I could come up with. I wanted to kick myself. He smiled again.

"Everyone knows you." was his answer.

"Oh yeah. School of three hundred and seventy five." I muttered, looking away.

The lab that I just realized was going on reached us in the very back. We reached in the box and pulled out a microscope and slides. I remembered this lab from Base and immediately pulled the microscope towards me. Edward calmly handed me a slide.

"Ladies first partner." his smile was still in place and it still didn't reach his eyes.

"Anaphase." I announced after a quick look to confirm it was the same lab.

"May I have a look?" he reached out to take the microscope from me, but I didn't move my hand fast enough. His fingers where cold— probably from the snow— but it wasn't that that made me jerk my hand away. It was the electric shock that ran up my arm that made me move.

"Sorry," he repented and slid the microscope toward him. "Anaphase." he confirmed my answer and wrote it down on the answer sheet in a flowing, elegant script. He slid slide number two under the lens while I was still gaping at his hand writing.

"Prophase." he murmured, writing it down. I couldn't breathe straight, his voice was just as beautiful as he was. The closest thing I can possibly think of that comes even close enough to how beautiful his voice is was a singer called Josh Groban. And it still didn't come close.

We continued on like that through the rest of the lab, always careful not to touch each other's skin. We finished before anyone else and I laughed silently at Mike and his partner, who where comparing two slides over and over. Another group had their books open under their table. I tried so hard not to look at the Greek God beside me, but failed miserably. I noticed the something different about him.

"Did you get contacts?" I blurted, not wanting to be polite.

He blinked, taken off guard. "No."

"Oh," I flushed, totally embarrassed. "I just noticed that your eyes where a different color." I wanted to die. Where was that over-confident self I once had in Egypt? I knew it was because I was no longer special, a step above the rest. This person next to me was proof that I was no better then everyone around me.

He shrugged and looked away. But I was sure there was something different now. Before, his eyes where like midnight with no moon, striking against his porcline skin and bronze hair color. But today they where a deep butterscotch color, warm like a topaz. Now his eyes matched his hair. So golden and light. I wanted to stare at it forever.

"It's a shame about the snow." I got the feeling he was trying to make small talk with me.

"Not really," I confessed. "I did enjoy it though. But it was way to cold for my tastes."

"You don't like the cold." it wasn't a question.

"Well I've never seen snow before." I wanted to kick myself again.

"Why is that?"

I rolled my eyes despite myself. My confidence was returning with every word I spoke to him. He seemed to be enjoying our conversation and it gave me more courage.

"I grew up in a rainforest and Egypt." Once again I couldn't help but explain my reasoning to him.

"Forks must be hard for you to live in comfort." he sympathized. I made another mistake by looking at him. He was smiling a crooked, beautiful smile that did reach his eyes and I stopped breathing, and told the absolute truth.

"Not as much as it would seem. It reminds me of the rainforest mostly. Everything is so green, and so beautiful. Egypt was harder though. But I got used to it.

"When did you move?" he was sympathitic at the look on my face.

"When I was thirteen." I wasn't going to explain the reason why though, no matter how hard he begged. That was my families secret.

"You weren't in Egypt very long then." he seemed generally curious.

"Yeah. But Egypt is in my blood. My Mom is African-American with Egyptian some where along the line." I knew exactly where. "We moved here when Dad retired. He grew up here and wanted me to spend the rest of my growing up here as well. Mom wasn't very happy— she loved Egypt. I kinda did, but the heat was unbearable in the summer. Sure we had an AC but a lot of good it did." I realized I was rambling and shut up.

"Why? That hardly seems fair."

"Hasn't anyone told you? Life isn't fair." I half-smiled.

"I think I have heard that some where before." he smiled in response.

I turned to the black board. My thought ran wild, chasing each other around and around my head, all of them based on Edward. Why did I trust this amazingly beautiful, yet bizarre boy with my life story? I never trusted anyone with anything about me, not even myself; but somehow Edward Cullen had broken though my defenses and ripped from me the very information that I wanted to hide.

"Am I annoying you?" he sounded amused even though his eyes where intense, burning with curiosity— and frustration.

"No. I'm mostly annoyed with myself. I've never told anyone what I've just told you." I confessed once again mesmerized into telling the truth. I regained my senses and turned my face into a hard mask.

"Why does it matter to you?"

"That's a good question." he muttered, almost to quietly for me to hear.

I realized that was all the answer I was going to get. I wanted to demand more out of him, but the teacher started class up and I had to stay quiet.

Edward, Edward, Edward . His name echoed around and drove me nearly insane. I didn't want it, but it came, etching its mark on my brain— and my heart. I was going in too deep, even at this early stage. A place I never wanted to be when it all fell down.

I spent the remainder of my evening in a pair of overalls and half in, half out of my parent's engine of their car. Auto Shop was my favorite thing next to choir. I prided myself in being a built in car garage. I could fix anything wrong in a car— but I couldn't fix myself.

Why did he have to be so perfect? Why couldn't I be as perfect as Rosalie and be worthy of his attention? I wanted to know him and wanted him too. I sat out on the lighthouse, way above the world with a perfect view of the ocean below. There I looked up at the stars and mourned my love for Edward Cullen.