Hiya! Me again, the author, a.k.a., thenewmastercreater! But you can just call me Hannah.

I've realized that Hiei/Botan humor fics are getting less and less, and I really think someone should start on it again! So, seeing that nobody seems to want to do anything about it, I found it was my duty as addicted fanatic of the pairing to get the wheels rolling.

Unlike my usual humor, this one is not overly insane. I did not run high on chocolate while writing this, so its very, VERY light humor.

Anyways, read, enjoy and review:)

Humor, if ya look hard enough. Slight fluff.

Natural Blue

'Stupid, stupid Kurama!' grumbled a very pissed-out ferry girl as she trudged angrily across the streets of Ningenkai. The few startled passer-bys that stopped to stare at her along the way were immediately snapped at.

Botan was pissed, and, as you can tell, it is never, NEVER a good thing to piss-out an all ready pissed-out ferry girl, for as weak as she may have looked on the outside, and as innoccent as she might have posed out to be, Botan was never really defenceless. Especially in her current state, this fuming ferry-girl would not hesitate to whack you upside the head if aggitated.

BEWARE THE FERRY GIRL.

'HIEI!!' Botan stopped to finally scream at a large oak tree in the Ningenkai park. 'Get your butt down here – I know what you think when you thought you saw what you did!'

Botan paused, blinking, as though repeating the sentence to herself mentally. 'Eh?' she said, confused herself.

With an exhasperated sigh, Botan added, 'Just get down here, Hiei!'

A dark, almost mocking chuckle and a slight ripple of the leaves were all Botan got in reply. That baka. How dare he mock her like that!

'Hiei,' said Botan through clenched teeth, irritation swelling up inside her. 'Get. Down. Here. NOW.'

Another eerie chuckle. A slight movement in the treetops. Perhaps he was watching it now...?

Botan clenched her jaw, grinding her teeth together in a really furious manner. Sucking in a deep breath, Botan started to count to ten. As she tried to ease her temper, and the boiling urge to drag the koorime's butt down to the ground all by herself, Botan's mind started to wander back to that very event: The event a few hours ago that caused her this misery.

(FLASHBACK)

'Hn,' sounded a monotonious voice from behind the door of the dark room. 'Its been a long day, kitsune. What are you bringing me here for?'

Botan clasped her hands over her lips to stiffle a giggle. From beneath the drapes of a lavender-coloured curtain, she caught sight of the Ice Apparation, Yukina, smiling wistfully behind a sofa.

'Oh, just relax, Hiei.' That was the kitsune, Kurama. They had voted him to take Hiei over here, as he happened to be the person closest to the temperamental fire demon. 'Surely that tree you live in doesn't provide you comfort. You're sore... tired. The bark will only serve to give you aches.'

'Hn,' said Hiei, again, as though not wanting to be there at all. 'Just unlock the door, kitsune, before I break it down for you.'

A click sounded.

Everyone ducked lower in their hiding places, positioning themselves for the big surprise.

The knob turned.

'SURPRISE!' the whole Rekai Tantei exclaimed at once, leaping to their feets as the light was turned on in the living room.

If Hiei had been surprised at all, the only hint was the slight widening of the eyes, and his hand, which had darted immediately to the hilt of his katana. Apart from that, the short Koorime had maintained his stiff composture, and his bored, emotionless expression.

'Hiei-san,' said Yukina, rising out of the group with a brightly-wrapped box in her hand. She bowed slightly when she had reached her brother (although she did not know he was her brother yet) and presented the gift to you. 'For your birthday.'

Hiei stared at her as he politely received her present. It wasn't his birthday. His birthday had passed two weeks ago without so much as a congradulations from Kurama. He had warned the fox beforehand not to celebrate, and to throw a celebration for Yukina instead, so that the young ice demon wouldn't expect anything. However, it seemed that sly fox, Kurama, had something up his sleeves after all.

'Hey, Hiei!' sounded Yusuke, coming out of the group to hand him his gift as well. The cocky Spirit Detective grinned as he threw the badly-wrapped parcel in Hiei's hands. 'From me and Keiko.'

Minutes passed as more gifts were handed out. Hiei had received a dragon-shaped ice-sculpture (that conveniantly did not melt!) from Yukina, boxing gloves from Yusuke and Keiko, a book of cheesy one-liners from Kuwabara ('You've got to get yourself a girlfriend, ya shrimp, and quit messin around my Yukina!'), a bottle of champagne from Shizuru ('The kid needs to live a little...'), a box of chocolates from Genkai, and a sleek, mahagony keepsake chest from Botan.

Kurama, however, had decided to keep his gift for last, much to Botan's displeasure.

'Hiei, I have something for you,' said Kurama, proudly brandishing a golden-wrapped box from his coat pocket. 'Here.'

Hiei was handed the gift. 'Hn,' he said. 'You didn't have to get me anything, kitsune.'

Kurama smiled good-humouredly. 'I know,' he said in his usual annoyingly sly manner. 'I just thought I would surprise you anyways.'

Hiei tore apart the wrappings, ignorant to the gasps of shock on Botan's behalf: It was what was inside that mattered.

It was a video-camera.

Sleek and smooth, Hiei turned the contraption in his hands, silently enjoying the feel of cool metal against his hard, rough fingers.

Kurama smiled, understanding Hiei's silent reaction towards the gift. Hiei would rather slice his own throat rather than ask what the mechanism was used for and how it could be activated.

'It's a video-camera,' Kurama explained. 'You use it to tape things. All you do is press this button, see?'

Hiei was forced to catch himself from tripping over as the mechanism suddenly zoomed to life.

'Kitsune!' said Hiei, forcing himself to bite down the word "baka" from excaping his tongue, so not to sound too unnapreciative. 'You know I have no need for your rediculous Ningen contraptions!'

Again, the fox smiled. 'Yes, I know that,' said he. 'Even so, I thought that this item would be an exception, if you know what I mean.'

The fox gave Hiei a mysterious wink, before turning away to join the others' in their festivities.

As Hiei toggled with his new gift, Botan stood in the corner, narrowing her eyes at the confounded piece of metal that would later ruin her life...

(END FLASHBACK)

She knew it – she just KNEW it!

Her women's intuition had never gotten her wrong before, and once again, it had proved itself right! From the moment she had laid eyes on the dumb contraption, Botan knew it would bring her misery. And now that it was in the hands of Hiei? The chances of Botan wiping away the horrible incident was slim to none.

What had happened, a few hours ago, that had caused Botan to swell with insane rage, was this...

(FLASHBACK... AGAIN!)

Hiei was flitting across the trees, his keen eyes scanning for some unlucky creature he could use to experiment his new video-camera on.

So far, Hiei had videotaped a squirrel, a random inanimate object, passing Ningens and a fight between some weak demon and himself. It was all REALLY boring.

What Hiei needed now was a test subject. A person he could tag along and record til something extra juicy came up. And who might that unlucky person be...?

It was at that very unfortunate moment that the ferry onna decided to walk pass by.

'Hi, Hiei!' the cheery ferry girl greeted, before she turned her back on him and continued her walk.

Just as Botan was far enough away from him, the Koorime smirked. 'This,' he thought. 'It going to be fun.'

Hiei Jaganshi was a natural fire demon. He was the sole master to the Dragon of the Darkness Flame. He was the one weilder of the sacred Jagan Eye. However, his lack of height made him all but menacing. Sometimes, when he tried to glare and long fearsome, people would burst out laughing. He was like a kid. His height was considered the main picking of the day, after the oaf, Kuwabara, of course.

However, being short DID have its upsides.

Take now, for example. If Hiei had been the tall, towering demon he had always dreamed of becoming, he would have never pulled off hiding behind a flowerpot, spying at the clumsy ferry onna as she entered some random shop.

Hiei focused his camera on her, then at the entrance sign above the shop. It read, "Beauty Hair Salon".

Hiei furrowed his brows. 'What would the onna be doing in a "Hair Salon"?'

'Hello, Mrs. Kawashi,' sounded Botan's cheery voice as she greeted a middle aged woman at the counter.

'Oh, hello, Botan,' said the woman in reply. 'The usual, I suppose?'

Botan nodded enthusiastically, as she was escorted into a seat right in front of a large, five-foot mirror.

'Just a little off the top, first.'

Hiei watched as the woman trimmed Botan's hair a bit. His eyelids almost fell over his eyes, and he shook himself in attempt to wake. After what seemed like hours, Hiei decided to find another test subject, and instead just leave. But just as Hiei was about to get up and walk away, the woman pulled out a box from beneath the counter.

The way she brandished the box, it was like magic: Like she had taken it right out of thin air. But that wasn't what caught his attention. It was as if a beautiful, bright ray of light descended from heavens onto the box, and the angels played harps in attempt to luring him to read what was written on it.

Hiei squinted his eyes. His position from her was far, but because of his sharp demon vision, he could read the contents on top of the box as clearly as ever: Hair Dye, it read.

Hiei's eyes widened. HAIR DYE?

Hiei rubbed at his eyes and took another look – just incase.

"Hair Dye," it said. "Sky Blue".

It was as if the world had stopped rotating. And all that time she had denied the fact that she dyed it.

Suddenly, things started moving at once, as though the earth had covered up its lossed time only to increase its speed ten-fold! It was at that moment that Hiei had noticed the dark, hints of a brunette on top of Botan's head. It was at that moment that a hair-stylist had realized him ducking there like a spying idiot. It was at that moment that Hiei had let out a small yelp of surprise. It was at that moment that Botan had spun around. It was at that moment that Hiei had fled, smirking, almost maniacally, to himself.

'Blackmail,' thought the short koorime, as Botan's head appeared out of the salon doors, looking more furious than ever before.

(END FLASHBACK... AGAIN!)

'Hiei Jaganshi, this is the last time!' threatened Botan, shaking her fist at the Koorime above her. 'Get down here or else!'

Hiei's head finally popped out from behind the leaves of his tree. He wore a very amused-looking expression. 'Or else what, onna?' he decided to peeve her further.

'Oooh... that jerk makes me so mad sometimes!' thought Botan, but instead of replying, she decided to prove just how serious she was. And so, Botan climbed onto her oar, made it levitate upwards so that she was the same height level as Hiei was in his tree, and gave him a great, big whack on the head with her trusty metal bat.

'Hey!' snapped Hiei, sheltering his head from the violent ferry onna's wild attempt to again smash his skull. 'Baka ferry onna...' He honestly did not expect that. 'What was that for!'

'You know what... you... you... jerk!' snapped Botan in heated reply, face turning red with controlled fury. 'Give me the tape, Hiei!'

Hiei smirked. 'What tape...?' he said, with mock-innocence. The sly gleam in his eye was unmasked.

Botan gripped her bat tightly in her fist, and grinded her teeth together. 'You. Know. What. Tape,' she said, in attempt to control her flaring temper. 'Give... It... To... Me!'

'Oh!' said Hiei, eyes widening for a surprised effect. He pulled out his video camera from his robe pocket. 'You mean this tape?'

'Yes, now give it here!' said Botan. She was getting impatient now. She was getting BEYOND impatient. She really – no, DESPERATELY, really needed that recording.

Hiei smirked, liking how she was so easily ticked off. The twirled the roll of film in his hand, before placing it back into the camera. 'Oh, I'll give it to you, all right... IF you give me something in return.'

Botan's eyes widened, wondering what an ex-convict fire demon like him would want. Files from the Spirit World? Freedom from Koenma's hold on him? Was he going to make Botan the blackmail for King Enma?

'No,' said Botan flatly. 'I won't do it.'

Hiei's smirk faltered, only to turn into a snarl. 'You haven't even heard what I was going to say.'

'What? Blueprints into the Spirit World? Koenma's secrets? Freedom from the Spirit World's grasp?' taunted Botan with a grimace. 'I know you, Hiei. I know exactly what someone like you would want!'

'You don't know me at all, onna,' Hiei spat back, even though what she had said had been what he had wanted in the first place.

'Your favourite colour is black, you were thrown out of the ice demon clan because of your superstitious grandmother and the fact that you were a male fire demon, you secretly watch over your sister everynight before coming back to see over the rest of Ningenkai in your tree, you train at least three hours every day...' Botan listed, eyes glinting with fury. 'And the list goes on! Forget it, Hiei. I know you inside out!'

Hiei grounded his teeth together, not liking the fact that the ferry onna was right, and that he was so predictable. Just to prove he could get his way, the short fire demon grabbed Botan's waist and pulled her in for a very quick kiss on the lips.

Botan's eyes flew open once the kiss was over. She placed her fingers on her lips very gently, as though trying to figure out whether or not that had been for real.

'Surprised, onna?' said Hiei, grumpy as ever. He turned away, not wanting to see her expression, and not wanting her to catch glimpse of the light blush creeping up his cheeks.

Botan nodded slowly. But unlike what most people must have thought, it was not the kiss that surprised her the most, it was, in fact, the fact that his lips had been so smooth, and sweet and gentle, as though she had been kissing satin. It was also the fact that, for some reason, she had greatly enjoyed it.

'Hn,' said Hiei, not daring to look up yet. His cheeks still felt hot with embarassment. 'Seems like you didn't know me that well after all, onna.'

'Does this mean we're even?' said Botan suddenly, causing the fire demon to look up at her. 'Does this mean you'll give me the tape now?'

Hiei smirked, returning to his usual self. 'Hn,' he said. 'You wish, onna. It was I that kissed you, remember? You didn't give me anything.'

'So what do you want?' snapped Botan, impatience creeping into her again. 'Another kiss?'

Hiei surprised himself by saying, 'Hn. So all this time people have been asking you whether it was natural – you were lying?'

Botan clenched her teeth together, surprising herself as well by grabbing Hiei's shoulders and forcing a kiss onto his lips without second thought.

Hiei's eyes widened. His back stiffened. He had never really expected her to accept that...

Then again, he had never really expected himself to respond to her kiss either, by adding his tongue into the process, and turning what should have been a sweet peck on the lips, into something more of a make-out.

As the two relaxed into their positions, and melted into the kiss, previous thoughts of the video-camera and the recording was forgotten. Hiei's arm moved to position himself into a more comfortable position, meanwhile causing the video-camera he had gotten as a gift to drop from the branch and fall onto the ground with a loud THUMP.

It was then that Kurama passed by. 'What's this?' voiced the fox, picking up the camera. He pressed the PLAY button, but there was nothing recorded. Kurama turned the camera over, frowning at his carelessness.

'Silly me,' said the fox to himself. 'I had forgotten to teach Hiei to open the lens before recording. I do hope he hasn't tried to tape anything yet!'

So, how'd you like? Kinda crappy, I know. I got the muse when watching this dumb hair dye commercial (you know, the type when the lady in the advertisment turns and her hair just flicks so naturally behind her?).

I think my writing is getting worse by the day! I really think I should just give up writing now and concentrate instead on art before my language skills gets really, really bad.

Please review. Your encouragements and compliments mean a lot to me, if you like my style of writing.

PS; please read and review my other fic, "Peony's Deathwish". I need as much reviews as possible! I know my work on Chapter 2 stinks like a fat horse's ass, but I really need the help!

From The Useless Amateur Writer.