"Excuse me."

The man I'm speaking to looks at me like I'm crazy. He gestures frantically to the front of the room, where a man in a black tux and a woman in a white dress stand, gazing into each other's eyes.

I can't do this.

"Excuse me," I whisper again, and he sighs and lets me pass. There are whispers around the room as I inch my way to the end of my aisle.

I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this.

Stare at the ground. Don't make eye contact. Don't think too much, just walk.

Stare at the white marble tile, don't look at him, and you'll be fine.

Hold it together, Nina.

"…In sickness and in health…"

The eyes following me shift back to the front. I can feel the curiosity in the room, can feel the dozens of people wonder what's up with the girl with the red-rimmed eyes that can't even bother to sit down and watch her best friend's wedding.

"…Till death do you part?"

"I do."

It's his voice that says it; so soft and smooth and sure and it's enough to make me stumble. I grab the back of the nearest chair and screw my eyes shut, waiting for my moment of dizziness to pass.

I can't do this.

I continue on, still staring at well-worn marble tile. The eyes have turned back to follow me again and this time I can feel him staring at me, too. His gaze burns the back of my neck and sends shivers down my spine.

And then, at last, I reach the door and I'm out.

He doesn't follow me. But why would he?

I was stupid to hope.

I freeze just outside the door. Against my better judgment, I take a deep breath and turn back to look at the brown-haired man in the black tuxedo.

He's not looking at me anymore. His eyes are on the red-haired girl in the white dress. That's all he has eyes for, now.

I turn. The careful chime of the last 'I do' rings in my ears as I walk away, head down and shoulders hunched, ghosts of past promises circling my head.

Joy Mercer and Fabian Rutter are now officially married.

I don't look back.

"Nina! Nina!"

I turn: Amber is racing towards me, for once ignoring the muddy water that's ruining her good heels. "What do you want, Amber?" I sigh.

"It's raining," She says, sitting down on the bench next to me. "You don't have an umbrella."

"I don't want an umbrella."

She puts hers over me anyway: we sit in silence, me staring blankly at the cars passing in the street and her staring moodily at her ruined dress and shoes.

"You missed the food." Amber breaks the itchy silence.

"I wasn't hungry."

Amber falls silent again. I almost wish she'd remove the umbrella from over my head so the raindrops would fall on my face and hide the tears.

"You've been out here for hours. Come inside and dry off."

"I don't want to come inside."

She's silent again. After a few minutes she gets back up and goes back into the church, leaving me alone in the rain.

She takes her umbrella with her.

"I didn't think it would hurt this bad."

They say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness. Maybe it's true.

I don't care.

"It's just… you know… after we broke up, I thought I didn't care about him anymore. Not in… not in that way."

I lay still for a few moments, watching the cars pass by again. And then:

"They should be coming out soon."

I wait in the car and watch as the guests file out, run by one, laughing.

Joy and Fabian are first, hugging to one another and screaming as the rain hits them.

He doesn't look around for me.

I stay in the car and stare at the wind long after all the guests have left, thinking.

"Nina?"

Sarah's voice fills the car: I don't turn. Just stare.

Beat. "Yeah?"

"Maybe…" Beat. "Maybe it's time to let him go."

Maybe it is. But I'm not ready.

Not yet.

Someday.