Bella Gets Poned
ONE SHOT
They were surrounded by the forest and the trees. Bella was caught in the middle of Edward and Jacob. She walked towards the wolf boy with a small smile.
"Jake," she said in a low-tone. "I love you. So please, don't make me-."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the freaking phone." A twilight fan named Christina came in the picture. Bella turned around to see who it was.
"Who are you?" She asked.
"Nonya damn business. Now listen," Christina snapped. "You can't love them both and then break one of their hearts. Because if you love them both so much, you should just leave them both alone!"
"You don't know me, chick!" Bella snapped. "So buzz off!"
"You know, Bella, I think I have a theory on why you're such a slut." Christina walked towards her as Edward and Jacob made a face.
"See, I'm sure you love them both because of your retarded mind. Thinking if one of them breaks it off with you, you'll have someone to fall back on. I should I say, jump on. Really, the main time you actually show your whorish ways is in Eclipse. You know how you kept trying to take your clothes off in front of Edward. And you keep going back and forth seeing Jacob. If the hot wolf guy needs you so bad, just stay with him. Be team Jacob. Truthfully, Edward doesn't need you. He's a vampire for God's sake! He could break mount. Everest in half with one finger if he wanted to." Bella looked at Edward. He shrugged his shoulders.
"And by the way," Christina continued. "How the hell could you be team Switzerland if you make-out with Jacob in Eclipse?"
"What?!" Edward and Bella snapped.
"And then you hook up with Edward in Breaking Dawn!" Christina added.
"What?!" Jacob snapped.
"Shut up!" Bella shouted.
"You think your little miss angel-face don't cha? Well guess what, honey, your nothing but an anorexic-Brittney Spears-wanna-be-flat-chested-slut!"
"Ooooh." Edward and Jacob went.
"Well," Jacob said. "You are kindof a slut." Bella gasped. Edward just shrugged his shoulders, agreeing.
"And you are a little….flat-chested." Edward said quietly. Bella gasped even louder.
"How could you!?" She exclaimed.
"How could they not?" Christina said. "I mean, come on! Their smooth and sexy, you're annoying and picky." Jacob let out a loud and quick chuckle. Then covered his mouth. Edward just smiled.
"Hey!" Bella shouted. "Shut your damn mouth you whore!"
"I think your confusing me with yourself! And un-like you, I'm hot. So put a fxxxing sock in it, you cow!" Bella stayed shocked and quiet.
"Now," Christina put her hands on her hips. "If you guys really want something to fight over, I'm right here." Edward and Jacob looked at each other. They shrugged their shoulders and walked towards her. They picked her up and put her on their shoulders. Christina smiled as she pushed Bella out of the way and said,
"Now this is what I call, Team Switzerland."