A/N- Yosh! Hey guys, this a new fanfic my friend and I decided to co-write out of complete boredom. There's gonna be lots of crack, humor, rants, unnecessary random moments, and other such crazy things. So, we hope you guys enjoy and have fun. And remember, that's all this is. Fun and games. Please don't take this seriously as it was not meant to be. Alright, now that's outta the way, ze disclaimer shall now be given!
Naruto- Anna-chan and Jake do not own Naruto or Sasuke. Only their crazy and strange sense of humor, BELIEVE IT!
Anna: Yep. All rights go to Masashi Kishimoto-san and any other affiliated companies that own the rights. I only own my sanity, and that's not saying much.
Jake: True dat. Now quit your yammering and let them read the damn fic.
Anna: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No need to get snappish. So, without further adieu…
Jake & Anna: Enjoy!
Anime Therapy
Anna: Hello and welcome to this new ff, Anime Therapy! As the name suggests, my friend, hikarixkesshoux126, and I shall be interviewing various anime characters about their problems. If you'll continue Hime-sama.
Jake: *glares at co-authoress' grin* Yeah, like Queenie said, (*smirks when she glares*) we'll be talking to a bunch of different anime characters and telling them just how exactly fucked-up they really are. Basically, we'll be cutting through all their bull and, in the process, pissing many, if not all, of them off for laughs. So sit back and prepare to laugh your asses off.
Anna: Yep! And our first victim...ahem, I mean patient, shall be the ever-popular, ever-sexy, and ever-so-fucked-up...Sasuke Uchiha! Please hold all fangirling/guying, murderous intent, and other such things until the end, thank you.
*Jake and I escort five kage, Karin, Sakura, Ino, and a billion more fangirls/guys out before having a group of ANBU safely LEAD SASUKE TO HIS DOOM! XDDDD*
*Sasuke is forced to sit down and ANBU remain outside*
Anna: Alright! So let's get this party started! *Sasuke glares at co-authoress' over-enthusiasm*
Jake: *sweatdrops* Excuse her, she hasn't taken her meds today.
Anna: Hey! I don't have any bloody damn pills to take!
Jake: *ignores rant* Anyways, so Sasuke, how are you feeling today?
Sasuke: *still glaring at co-authoress* Hn.
Anna: Um, Uchiha-san, that's not a valid answer. *glare intensifies*
Sasuke: Fine. I'm perfectly fine.
Jake: *raises eyebrow* Oh really? So why are you here then?
Sasuke: No idea. I was forced.
Anna: RAMEN! *glare intensifies*
Jake: You, *points at Anna* go take your goddamn pills!
Anna: Don't need none, don't got none.
Jake: Did you really just say got?
Anna: Yes, yes I did. *authors start arguing*
Sasuke: She reminds me of Naruto. *bickering stops instantly*
Anna: Ah, and so we're finally brought to our first subject. *quickly grabs notepad and pencil* What are your feelings towards Naruto?
Sasuke: What feelings? The only feeling I have is hatred.
* authors roll eyes*
Jake: Greeeaaat. Now he's going into his emo mode.
Anna: What the hell are you talking about? He's ALWAYS emo.
Jake: True.
*Sasuke glares at both authors*
Anna: What? It's true. You're emo.
Sasuke: No, I'm not.
Jake: *refers to looooooooong list of Sasuke's problems* Not to mention, you have a superiority complex, an inferiority complex, depression, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), a brother complex, want attention, you're sadistic, have lost compassion, are apparantly allergic to fun and common sense... *continues to read almost neverending list* And finally, are in denial about your feelings towards Naruto.
Sasuke: *blinks before calmly stating* I'm not in love with Naruto.
*authors look at Sasuke, each other, and back again before raising eyebrows*
Anna: We never said you were. We only said 'feelings'. We never specified what those exact feelings were.
Sasuke: Hn. I'm just telling you now; I'm not in love with Naruto.
Jake: Oh really? Read this then. *hands him KibaNaru fic*
Sasuke: Why should I?
Jake: *shrugs* To prove what you said, that you're not in love with Naruto.
Sasuke: Hn. Fine. I'll prove that I don't. *begins reading ff*
Anna: Oh my, there goes that superiority complex.
Jake: Not to mention that speech impediment.
Anna: Guess we should add, 'Lack of communication' to that list.
Jake: Yep. *writes it down* *authors continue to discuss Sasuke's problems, adding new ones to list*
Sasuke: *tickmark appears and steadily gets larger as authors talk and he continues reading story* Would you two, kindly, SHUT THE HELL UP! You're getting on my nerves!
Anna: Gosh dude, no need to blow a gasket. Add 'short tempered' to that list. *lackey happily does so*
Sasuke: *snarls*
Anna: Is he snarling at us or the story?
Jake: I don't know. Has he hit the lemon yet?
Sasuke: *pins ff against wall using Chidori Eiso (Chidori Spear) and then uses Amaratsu to incinerate it*
Jake: I guess he did.
Anna: Sasuke, what the hell? Why are you using Ama-fucking-ratsu to burn that? You'll set the whole damn building on fire!
Sasuke: *turns to authors with murderous intent, eyes bleeding and freaky ass look*
Jake & Anna: Um Sasuke?
Sasuke: Who the hell wrote this?
Anna: Wrote what?
Sasuke: That piece of trash. *points to wall where ff was burned*
Anna: Oh, that? Eheheheheheh, uuuuummm, that would be me. Ehheh. *scratches back of head nervously*
Sasuke: You're dead.
Anna: *runs like hell* Sasuke, can't we talk about this?
Sasuke: No! *sends Amaratsu, Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fireball Jutsu), Hosenka no Jutsu (Phoenix Flower Jutsu), Chidori Senbon, and and Chidori Eiso at authoress*
Anna: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! *manages to somehow dodge the attacks* Jake, help me!
Jake: *Too busy laughing his ass off*
Anna: Kisama! (Bastard!)
Sasuke: You better keep running, bitch!
Anna: Aww, shit. *dodges more attacks and weapons*
Jake: *snickers* Well, that's all folks! Tune in next time for our therapy session with...well, I don't know who yet since Anna hasn't told me, but tune in for more comedy and pissed off anime characters in Anime Therapy!
Anna: Someone call for help! Call the Army, call the Navy, hell, call in the fucking FBI! I have a homicidal maniac after me and...aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!
*static*
End transmission