A blood curdling scream tore through the air of Hogwarts.
Ron and Harry winced and cautiously peeked around the corner again.
"Ouch," Ron commented, wincing.
"So much hate contained in something so fluffy." Harry said, cringing as another horrifying scream rent the air. He paused. "Should we do something?" Ron gave him a flat look. "Right."
"There's a reason nobody opens that door." Ron said sagely as the person started to call for help.
Harry nodded. There was a sob, a yowl and a screech that both boys knew was Hermione. They peered around the corner again. Hermione was fleeing up the stairs.
Harry and Ron screamed and fell backwards, clawing at their eyes. "No robes!" Harry yelled, covering his eyes as if that would erase the sight of nudity on his poor virgin eyeballs. "What's the spell, what's the bloody spell!?"
"You're suffering with me!" Ron yowled, and hexed Harry's robes neon yellow while Harry was carrying on dramatically. He reconsidered and turned them bright green.
Harry, the color-blind moron, won't notice until lunch.
" Mr. Cuddles is terrifying." Harry said eventually.
Ron agrees. Ron is going to have nightmares.
Umbridge screams as - with the help of Crookshanks and - drags her into lair of room 221b. The door swings ominously shut and Harry and Ron would swear on the grave of a yet not-dead Molly Weasley that they heard someone yell "AN EXPERIMENT! John, get me the blowtorch!"
They pause.
"She'll be fine for class," Harry decides. Ron agrees generously not to sally forth and rescue her from the dubious clutches of the creature lurking behind classroom 221b.
They turn around and head for Divination.
"Ms. Norris and Crookshanks should never have been allowed to breed." Ron says, before brightening. "D'you think we can get Mr. Cuddles, and Demon Spawn into Umbridge's office?"
It's a valid question, so Harry gives it due consideration. "We'll need Hermione." Harry says, "She's the only one of us yet not to get clawed."
The late bell rang. Harry and Ron smirked at each other with the boyish innocence of two boys plotting mayhem, and slid into Trelawney's class ten minutes late. She didn't notice, as she was having a debate with a chair over the merits of toad daycare.
Another unordinary day at Hogwarts.