Author: Jusrecht
Pairing: Kira/Athrun, a tiny hint of Kira/Lacus
Summary: Twenty years of the journey between Kira and Athrun.
Warning: Contains male/male relationship and spoilers at the end-half of the fic. I use several scenes which may not make sense unless you have finished watching the series, including Destiny. I also rather disregard every straight canon pairing (I believe Kira/Athrun is a canon in SEED), especially Athrun/Cagalli. Lastly, as usual, this is un-beta-ed, so proceed with caution.
Disclaimer: Every character mentioned here is not mine. They belong to Sunrise and whoever who created them.
Notes: About the composition of the story, thank you to Sunfreak who has allowed me to use her idea in her Naruto fic, The Journey Between This And That. Even though I obviously cannot live up to her standard, I hope I do a passable work with this. Enjoy, everyone.
Someday twenty years ago, Kira was born, two minutes later than his older twin. He was crying loudly and made everyone around him smile. When he finally stopped, the first thing that he put into his memory was his mother's soft brown hair tickling his cheeks.
Someday twenty years ago, Athrun was born, a little later than the scheduled time. He wasn't crying at all and made everyone around him worried. When he finally did, the first thing that he put into his memory was his father's rich gentle baritone soothing him.
Someday nineteen years ago, Kira suddenly had a new father and mother. A massive explosion at the laboratory had killed his real parents, but the spreading flames couldn't reach the cradle where he and his twin were sleeping peacefully. They were now separated, but it was okay because he didn't remember. Only there were times when Kira would wonder why his mother's long hair was no longer brown.
Someday nineteen years ago, Athrun had a nasty accident. His babysitter was driving when he suddenly cried and made her panic. Their car crashed with another vehicle and he had some minor scratches on his cheeks. His babysitter died protecting him, but it was okay, because he didn't remember. Only there were times when Athrun would wonder why his mother was spending more times with him now.
Someday eighteen years ago, Kira played with his father's broken alarm clock and somehow managed to fix it. His parents were surprised because he was only a wee two years old, but they decided that the unnatural intelligence came from his modified genes. They were a little anxious about it but his smile made them forget everything but the joy of having a son.
Someday eighteen years ago, Athrun found his father's revolver at a drawer and somehow managed to get it out of the house to play a scene he had seen at the television the night before. His parents were shocked when they found out because it was not a two year old's plaything. They were furious but his all-teary apology made them forgive his grave mistake.
Someday seventeen years ago, Kira started his pre-school education at a kindergarten two blocks from his house. Many boys mocked him for being a crybaby and refused to talk or play with him. There were times when he insisted to stay at home and not go to school but his mother told him that the others were just jealous because he was much cuter and smarter. It was okay, she said, for a boy at his age to cry. Besides, she added with a wink, his father still cried sometimes and wasn't he already a grown-up man?
Someday seventeen years ago, Athrun started his pre-school education at a kindergarten in his neighborhood. Many boys called him a girly boy and refused to talk or play with him. There were times when he insisted to shave his hair bald but his mother told him that the others were just jealous because he was much more good-looking and smarter. It was okay, she said, for a boy at his age to look like a girl. Besides, she added with a smile, was it wrong for a child to take after the look of his own mother?
Someday sixteen years ago, Kira's mother witnessed her son throw himself from his window at the second floor, trying to prove that he could fly like those superheroes he had watched in the television, and instantly screamed after him. But possessing the abnormal agility that he was, she found him perfectly unharmed despite the height he had been falling from. Later at night, her husband came home and talked to her about enrolling their son to the most prominent school at Moon. She had vehemently objected at first, but when she saw her son sitting in front of her computer, solving a quiz she had kept there for her high school students, she thought that perhaps it was for the best.
Someday sixteen years ago, Athrun's mother witnessed her son playing with her kitchen knife, trying all the cool moves he had learned from television with a level of nimbleness and gracefulness she had never seen before, and instantly shouted at him. Luckily he was uninjured despite the sharpness she had managed to maintain to all of her knives. At the next day, she had a meeting with the headmistress of his nursery school and was advised to enroll her son to the most prominent school at Moon. She was doubtful at first, but when she watched him so busy in his attempts to make a small robotic animal for his father's upcoming birthday, she thought that perhaps it was for the best.
Fifteen years ago, Kira entered his first formal school at Moon. Everyone still mocked him as a crybaby and he became so sad that he cried even louder. Usually a teacher would come and ask him what had happened but he dashed away instead, thinking that the teacher would also laugh at him because it was so embarrassing. On his way to his dormitory room, he met a blue-haired boy who was sitting alone under a cherry blossom tree.
Fifteen years ago, Athrun entered his first formal school at Moon. Everyone still called him a girly boy and he became so angry that he started to beat them up. Usually a teacher would come and scold him for hitting his friends severely but he dashed away, believing that the whole world had gone against him. He trotted to a cherry-blossom tree and when he was sitting under its shade like usual, a brown-haired boy appeared around the corner.
At first Kira was anxious whether he should pass this way or not. He did not know the blue-haired boy well save for the fact that he was a classmate and they had never actually talked before. Besides, the other boy seemed outraged about something. He had heard everybody calling this boy girly due to his more-than-pretty looks but he didn't really care. At least this one had never said that he was a disgrace to all boys of his age.
At first Athrun was suspicious at the boy who was looking at him from a distance. He did not think the brown-haired boy was there to ridicule him like many others, but they had never actually talked before. Besides, the other seemed very timid and to have just cried. He knew everybody was calling this boy a crybaby but he didn't really care. At least this one had never dubbed him as a boy who could easily enroll to an all-girl school.
When the blue-haired boy said his name was Athrun, Kira thought that it was a cool name, unlike his too eastern one that others seemed to enjoy making fun of. But he still smiled and braced himself to sit next to his new friend.
When the brown-haired boy said his name was Kira, Athrun thought that it was a great name, unlike his too weird one that others often claimed as unutterable. But he still smiled in return and let his new friend to sit next to him.
Kira remembered staring at Athrun's beautiful green eyes after some times and he thought that the other boy was really pretty, but he would never say it out loud because Athrun didn't seem to relish the praise.
Athrun remembered looking at Kira's tear-streaked face after some times and he thought that the other boy was probably a crybaby, but it didn't matter much because he had never met anyone as nice as him.
Someday fourteen years ago, Kira was admitted to the headmaster's office because he had been spending too much time in Athrun's room instead of his own. And if not, he could be found working on something alone in the school laboratory until past his curfew, which eventually raised more problems. Under the solemn promise that the headmaster would not laugh whatever his explanation would be, Kira finally opened his mouth and answered that he was trying to invent potion to make Athrun looked more masculine since he hated being too pretty.
Someday fourteen years ago, Athrun was admitted to the headmaster's office because he had inflicted too many injuries on other students. The list of his victims had been so long that there was no choice but to demand clear details from him as to why he had committed such violence. Under the solemn promise that the headmaster would not involve his best friend whatever the reason would be, Athrun finally told him that not only those who called him girly or feminine, he had also knocked out everyone who dared to name Kira a crybaby and it was why.
The problem was, the headmaster did laugh and Kira felt the urge to dig a hole and hide in it. But a moment later the headmaster said that although Athrun was pretty, his attitude was much manlier that most of the boys in the school, including him.
The problem was, the headmaster did ask his assistant to summon Kira and Athrun felt the urge to reach for something and beat it into a fine pulp. But before Kira arrived, the headmaster had said that his best friend was not as weak as he seemed.
For a moment, Kira thought that perhaps it was right, because Athrun had never cried no matter how awful the teasing was.
For a moment, Athrun thought that no way it could be right, because Kira always seemed to cry even at the slightest teasing.
Someday thirteen years ago, when for the first time Kira did not cry at someone else's mocking, he hit the boy square on the face and sent him tumbling to the floor. The teachers seriously assumed that Athrun had been a bad influence on him, but he stood up defending his best friend. That moment, he felt that he wasn't as weak as he had always believed and apparently could also protect Athrun. After all, he was already seven years old.
Someday thirteen years ago, when for the first time Athrun did not strike someone who still had the courage to joke about his looks, Kira hugged him from behind and it made him cry afterwards. The teachers were pleased by his rapidly decreasing record and somehow, he did too. That moment, although he no longer felt as dependable as usual, it was pretty nice to have Kira's warm shoulder to cry on. After all, he was just seven years old.
Twelve years ago, a week before 29th of September, Kira spent all of his savings to buy a birthday present for Athrun because he still couldn't make cute little robots like the one the other boy had given him on his birthday. He spotted a set of various small tools in a hardware store one autumn evening and thought that it was perfect to help his friend developing his hobby. After he had it wrapped for about fifty times at a gift shop, he attached a small green ribbon in the shape of a bird on the covering.
Twelve years ago, exactly on the 29th of September, Athrun spent almost fifteen minutes to open the many-layered wrappings of the birthday gift Kira gave him. He had received a brand new laptop from his father, then a warm burgundy sweater, a large package full of chocolates, and a birthday cake from his mother. When he finally had every wrapping discarded and opened the smooth skin-covered lid, he didn't only lung at and whisper an endless stream of 'thank you' to Kira, but also sobbed in his arms.
Thoroughly amused, Kira thought that Athrun was becoming a crybaby, but probably it was okay because his friend looked cuter that way.
Completely embarrassed, Athrun thought that he was acting all too girly, but probably it was okay because at least he was only with Kira.
Somedayeleven years ago, Kira realized that now he did not cry as often as he had. Befriending Athrun gave him more reasons to laugh and be happy together than to cry alone.
Somedayeleven years ago, Athrun realized that now he did not really mind if someone still insisted to call him pretty. If the word came from Kira, it rather felt like special praise instead.
Somedayten years ago, Kira grinned the brightest when Athrun won a martial art competition held by their school. Athrun's agility and skill in combat had always been the best even though Kira did try his best to keep up with his friend. It relieved him immensely when the referee announced that the game was over because it hurt him to rise against his best friend and he didn't like the change of look in Athrun's face during the final match, as if he had not the slightest care that Kira was the opponent.
Somedayten years ago, Athrun applauded the loudest when Kira was announced as the top ranking in their school for four consecutive years. Kira's brilliance had been widely acknowledged in the school even though Athrun did work hard in order not to fall too far behind. It relieved him when eventually the teacher called him front as the second best because it meant he wasn't too stupid to be Kira's best pal and he loved his friend's radiant smile when they stood side by side in front of the whole students.
For Kira, it was fine if he couldn't win the tournament because after all, the winner was Athrun.
For Athrun, it was terrible if he couldn't be the second best because after all, the first was Kira.
Nine years ago, at the 18th of May, Kira insisted to go to the amusement park because it was his eleventh birthday and Athrun skipped his jujitsu class to accompany him. When they passed a extravagantly-decorated tent, a woman in odd green clothing told him that his best friend would be the one who killed him one day. Kira left after sticking his tongue out, not believing a word, but he noticed that Athrun's eyes had darkened.
He ignored it. Kira was optimistic.
Nine years ago, a day after the 18th of May, Athrun cornered Kira after Chemistry class and forced him to promise that he would kill him before Athrun could. Kira laughed, saying that it was nonsense, but he kept pressing his friend. He didn't usually put these irrational stuffs into consideration but he realized that there were things he would protect to the point of ready to kill his best friend, his mother for one.
He couldn't ignore it. Athrun was realistic.
Kira refused vehemently and cried again for the first time after four years. He didn't believe that Athrun could kill someone, even less, him, and he was certain of that. His friend's unwavering friendship whispered comforting words to his ears.
Athrun stomped off angrily and beat up a man who called him girly again after four years. He didn't believe that he could kill someone, even less, Kira, but he was still worried. The stinging pain on his fist whispered ominous words to his ears.
Eight years ago, the conflict between Coordinators and Naturals had escalated so much that it was not safe to go out at night anymore. But one day, Kira found out from the news that the Halley Comet would make an appearance, and so when the night had dawned, he dragged Athrun to the top of the dormitory roof. Under the starry sky, looking at the mysterious hairy star, Kira held his best friend's hand and was glad that neither of them was Natural. He closed his eyes and wished they could stay like this forever.
Eight years ago, the conflict between Coordinators and Naturals had escalated so much that Athrun thought often of his parents in PLANT. He tried to stop Kira one night when his friend insisted to participate in the sighting of the Halley, but ended up following Kira's whims to the top of the dormitory roof. Under the starry sky, looking at the mysterious hairy star, Athrun held his best friend's hand and wondered what would happen if one of them were Natural. He shuddered and wished the conflict would not last forever.
On that day seven years ago, under the drizzle of sakura petals, Kira tried very hard not to cry because this would be the last time he saw Athrun in a long time. When a small, green robotic bird hopped onto his palm, he tried his best not to burst into tears and gave Athrun a little smile instead. He knew that they would be always be friends no matter what.
On that day seven years ago, under the drizzle of sakura petals, Athrun tried very hard to keep his hands steady to give Torii because he didn't want to see Kira cry. When his friend smiled at him, he tried his best not to think of his father's somber voice, and promised that he would return no matter what. He knew that it was a promise he would try to keep.
Someday six years ago, Kira met Fllay Alster for the first time after moving to Heliopolis. He thought she was pretty and attractive, but of course no one could ever be as pretty as Athrun. She would never look his way anyway.
Kira hadn't realized how wrong he was.
Someday six years ago, Athrun met Lacus Clyne for the first time after enrolling to ZAFT. He thought she was beautiful and talented, but certainly no more than that. She would never be more than a doll at her father's side.
Athrun hadn't realized how wrong he was.
When Kira looked at Tolle and Miriallia holding hands on a date, he thought about Athrun. They had never held hands that way and his face suddenly heated up at the thought. It was inappropriate. They were the best of friends, nothing more.
When Athrun separated Yzak and Dearka from strangling each other in a practice, he thought about Kira. They sometimes argued but never that bad and his frown smoothed. It was understandable. They were the best of friends, so much more.
Five years ago, while watching the news one day, Kira heard about the horrible incident in PLANT. When he tried to get hold of Athrun, he found out that the number given to him was no longer used, and worried himself sick that his mother had to personally coax him to eat. But the fact remained, clear and painful, and he found himself crying for days, Torii never leaving his side.
Five years ago, after finishing his practice one day, Athrun found out about the attack on Junius 7. His father answered his call with a voice so cold and emotionless that he almost gave in to grief and anger and shouted at him. But then he remembered that he was a soldier and Kira wasn't there with him to offer his shoulders and so he swallowed everything back, facing the world with less emotion than a fifteen year-old boy should.
As time went by, Kira got passed it and decided that his best friend had finally forgotten about him. He still thought about Athrun often, his beautiful smile and his protective nature reserved solely for those he loved, but when night came, Kira tried to forget because it was really painful to remember the one you loved best without knowing whether that person was still alive or not.
Even though time went by, Athrun could not forget and lived with cold anger burning in his chest. He still thought about Kira often, his kind heart and his tendency to cry at every little thing, but when his father decided that he would betroth Lacus, Athrun thought it was one of those very few things he could make his father proud of and decided to forget about the one he loved best.
On the night before that day four years ago, Kira listened to his parents's conversation about PLANT and OMNI and had to bite his lips until he tasted blood on his tongue to refrain himself from asking why. His father and mother were Naturals and he was a Coordinator and here they were eating peacefully at one table while outside the Blue cosmos was eliminating every Coordinator they could target. But then he remembered Athrun and the fact that his best friend was also a Coordinator, and left his dinner half uneaten because he didn't know what to feel with the mishmash of emotions within his heart.
On the night before that day four years ago, Athrun sat down behind his desk, making another Haro for Lacus, and couldn't help but to feel melancholy every time he touched the tools he used. There was no longer any contact between them and the thought of his best friend's safety haunted him day and night because he was killing Naturals right and left and who knows one of them turned out to be Kira. But then he remembered that he would carry out an important mission on the day after and went to bed, leaving the green Haro unfinished because green was the color he would reserve only for one person.
But after his old friend tried to kill him, Kira almost regretted the fact that he was also a Coordinator. If he weren't, maybe they didn't have to face and kill each other and he didn't have to cry while remembering a pair of burning emeralds that were Athrun's eyes. He realized that he was wrong when the battle was over, Athrun crying while holding him in his arms, because if he were a bit less than what he was, probably he wouldn't be able to protect his best friend and the one he loved more than anything.
But after he tried to kill his old friend, Athrun hated green to the point of extreme. Because Nicol's hair had been green and the fortune-teller's dress had been green and the very eyes of the young man – the monster – who was heartless enough to kill his best friend was green. He realized that he couldn't keep hating it when the battle was over and Torii guided him and Cagalli to where Kira was, because the fortune-teller was wrong and his best friend and the one he loved more than anything was still alive.
Someday three years ago, Kira, weary of the countless deaths and haughty Coordinators and resentful Naturals and his hands which have taken too many lives, decided that he would go into hiding with his mother and Lacus. Athrun gave him a smile and didn't ask a question and Kira found himself wishing that he had been a little stronger.
Someday three years ago, Athrun, looking at the hectic world and the frail pieces of peace which Cagalli had been trying to keep together, decided that he would fight by her side, at least to protect her. Kira gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder and wished him good luck and Athrun found himself wanting the hand to stay a little longer.
But on that day two years ago, Kira thought he knew why he took flight again. When despite his grave injuries Athrun rode Justice and saved him from being decimated once and for all by Destiny, he knew that it was his Freedom's place forever to stay at the side of Athrun's brave, crimson Gundam. And when he raced to catch the falling Justice, its pilot unconscious, he also knew that this was the only person he could not lose.
But on that day two years ago, Athrun thought he knew why he kept on fighting. When he tried to make Shinn understand, he remembered his foolish stubbornness and the consequences it had brought, and knew that it truly meant something, the fact that Kira never abandoned him despite what he had done. And when he woke up to Kira's worried face, he also knew that this was the only person he could not lose.
The world was too big of a place to live alone. Athrun's presence was a must.
The world was too big of a reason to fight. Kira's smile was more than enough.
When Athrun kissed him one night, Kira was too petrified to move and remained that way for a long time after his friend left with a quiet apology. He remembered Lacus and finally decided that it was for the best to turn a blind eye at the incident and behave as if nothing had ever happened. But the feel of Athrun's lips on his lingered and Kira spent the whole night thinking and wishing that things had been different.
When he kissed Kira one night, Athrun was too afraid of rejection and quickly apologized before leaving as fast when his friend didn't say anything. He thought of their long-lasting friendship and cursed himself for acting too impulsively. As much as he wanted to blame everything to the balmy weather, Athrun knew that the fact that he liked Kira more than friend remained and he spent the whole night regretting what he had and hadn't done.
Someday a year ago, Lacus asked Kira kindly to end their relationship and admit to his so-called best friend how he actually felt about him. On that day, before Lacus's patient smile, Kira finally realized who he had been loving all along.
Someday a year ago, Cagalli accused Athrun for being in denial and refused to hear anything more before he settled everything with his so-called best friend. On that day, under Cagalli's intimidating glare, Athrun realized that his feelings would never fade until his final days and beyond.
It was hard to even utter a word but his friend's reaction was instantaneous and his smile so beautiful and Kira realized how stupid he had been all along. And when he made love to Athrun later that night, he knew that Lacus was right because Athrun was the only person he could not lose and with him, everything was, though not perfect, something very close to that.
It was hard to even look at Kira but the moment his friend opened his mouth and uttered three little words, Athrun realized what it meant to love. And when Kira made love to him later that night, he knew that there were always things he would and wouldn't do because Kira had been, was, and would be the first and foremost for him.
Now with Athrun standing at his side, dressed in a white tuxedo and wearing the most beautiful smile he had ever seen, Kira thinks about his wish to the falling star and realizes that it has come true. And when Athrun turns to him and kisses him softly, he thinks about the expression on his friend's face that day when he forgave Athrun for trying to kill him, and feels a bead of tears slipping past his closed eyes.
Now with Kira standing at his side, dressed in a black tuxedo and wearing the happiest smile he had ever seen, Athrun thinks about a promise he made on that day under the drizzle of sakura petals and realizes that he has kept it. And when Kira looks at him and says 'I love you', he remembers a journey taken from fifteen years ago, amidst war and bloodshed and laughs and tears, and smiles back.
Because it means something.
Ramblings: Finally I post it! This is an old work and I completely forgot about it until several days ago and, struck by the sudden want of a KiraAsu, my OTP of all times, decided to finish it. This is so unlike my other fics that I hesitated to post it at first, but I do hope it's still enjoyable. Please review!