This mentions, suicide, rape, abuse, mental illnesses, please be careful. Love you all, stay alive, be safe, live as long as you can. Please, please, please, stay with me. I'm trying so damn hard to be here, with you all. You are valid, strong, and so god damn tough. Don't let anyone tell you other wise!
" Welcome to group! So today folks we be as normal, we go around the circle and explain what's going wrong in our lives, and what's going right! We do this to show we care for each other, and that sympathy is okay! Today we have our newest addition Tyler, say hello to him everybody! We are going to go around and share our names and mental issues, Gerard care to start?" The lady, Mary said. Tyler blushed and shifted on the floor uncomfortably. He looked around the room, seeing all sorts of strange people.
One boy was short, with long red dyed hair and pale skin, he wore a baggy camouflage jacket with ripped black skinny jeans and combat boots. He had large beautiful eyes, and eyeliner on. His voice was higher and scratchy, But oddly soothing. " I'm Gerard, I'm depressed, violent, and I drink like a fucking fish, happy now Mary?" He spat, making a few kids visibly flinch. Tyler looked around again, maybe nine teenagers where present. Not that he cared.
" I'm Mikey, I have mind trauma and cut myself clean how ya doin?" He said, nodding once at Tyler. Mikey had a killer poker face and a strong jaw line, his hair pushed bleach and bleached, wearing dorky glasses and a leather jacket. Tyler was very scared for his safety near these guys already, they where strikingly beautiful.
" I'm Josh, I have Psychotic episodes, and I have no point in being here." Josh said, Tyler met his eyes, those warm brown eyes. Holy fuck Josh was beautiful, his soft skin and smooth face, his vibrant hair and tattoos, his piercings making him look cute yet terrifying. He winked at Tyler, making him blush and look away.
" Ladies and gentlemen and undecided, Brendon Urie the man with ADHD and anorexia!" A tiny kid with a large forehead said. His hair neatly combed back and his jacket falling loosely on his shoulders.
" Frank Iero, all you gotta know is I'm not afraid to fucking kill." A short kid with many tattoos and piercings said, wearing all black and leather. Tyler visibly shrunk back into the wall.
" I'm Pete Wentz and bipolar, in about three seconds I go from in love to fucking homicidal freak." Said a punk rock kid with bleached hair and a soft face.
" Dallon Weekes, anxiety," a tall handsome kid said leaning against the door.
" I'm Melanie Martinez and I have what Peter has! He loves me though, don't worry!" She said giggling. She had crazy hair and a nice face, with a oddly charming gap between her front teeth.
Tyler swore when he realized it was his turn " I'm Tyler and I have Multiple Personality Disorder and anxiety and I would rather chug bleach than be here." Tyler mumbled, hearing a breathtaking laugh come from Josh. Josh grinned at him and winked again, Tyler blushing. " I uh... I wanna start. So I'm being forced to be here by my folks, they know I won't do it later cause I probably won't be alive then. But, I only know what I will kill myself one day, and here's why. The only cool thing about life is that our own lives are in our hands. Think about it, I could die by me any time of the damn day, suicide is part of life, it's our fault we die, get in a car crash, you where driving it. Old age, you where alive that long. It's our faults, let's make it fun while we're at it... I'm done." Tyler ranted, the whole time seeing Josh's smirk grow bigger. Gerard spoke next.
" Good theory Tyler Joseph. Might I ask why you think this?"
" How do you..." Tyler mumbled, before seeing his bag and wallet in the kids hands. " Sick." He and Josh said at the same time. Earning a hearty laugh from Josh and a wink from Gerard who was now next to him.
" Interesting Tyler, anyone else like to go next?" Mary asked, calmly.
" I made a band." Gerard said grinning. " Mikes and Frank are in it."
" Oh that's nice! What's it called?" Mary asked.
" My...Chemical...Romance." Mikey mumbled. " I have something to say. I uh... Cut thirteen times last night. After my daddy beat us. Me and Gerard ran out and now we have to go back home." He said, putting emphasis on daddy and beat. Mikey was clearly not okay, it showed in his tone of voice. " Gerard turns 17 in two days though so he is going to get a job and start looking for a place. I can't for two more years." He claimed, laughing softly.
" You're 15." Mary said.
" I fucking know that." Mikey spat out, leaning closer to her and gritting his teeth. " I count the exact number of fucking days I'm here. 5,576 I'm stopping at 6000." He said, glaring like death at her. Mary shifted uncomfortably.
" Alright kids, so now we have about twenty minutes left, I'm going to leave the room and I want you to try to get to know each other more." Mary said getting up and punching a code in the door, before leaving.
Pete stood once she left. " Fuck you guys I'm out." Before walking to the door. Josh quickly took his shoe and chucked it at Pete.
" Twenty fucking minutes. Can you manage that? Or do we have to go early because you are going to have another fucking freak out? Cause Petey we can if you need it cupcake. I'm late already, don't fuck shit up now. No one likes a god damn prick, sit your ass down and wait." Josh spat, venom in his voice. He quickly took a knife from his other boot and showed Pete. " Sit. Now." He growled.
Pete sat down, spitting in Josh's direction. Josh grinned at Tyler, Tyler blushing and looking away. " I play drums and trumpet." Josh announced. " And I like cats."
" I play guitar, bass, piano, ukulele, and I sing." Tyler said back. Raising his eyebrows for Josh to comment. Josh just grinned wider, almost to wide to be cute, almost. " I like cats too."
" I sing and play guitar, drums, bass, and piano." Brendon said. " And dogs."
" I play guitar and bass." Dallon said quietly. " I like mice."
" Sing." Gerard mumbled. " I want a hamster really really bad."
" Guitar, and sing." Frank said. " I like peacocks."
" I can sing pretty well!" Melanie said giggling. " I like all animals."
" Guitar and bass." Pete said. " Monkeys are lit."
" I'm great at bass." Mikey said looking at Pete. " And I like bears."
" Gerard do you have a hamster?" Tyler asked.
" Not yet, I have everything for it though." Gerard said simply.
" What's this called again?" Dallon asked quietly. Brendon giggled. " It's called suicide followers."
" More like bullshit followers." Pete growled. Melanie laughed, " I like that."
" I'm calling it bullshit followers." Josh said nodding, " Even though it's a horrible joke and will get old really soon." Tyler nodded too, and the door opened. They all ran out and their separate ways. Josh following Tyler silently. Tyler didn't know until Josh had made a comment on his sweatshirt. " I like that color." He stated.
" Me too." Tyler said. He turned around to see Josh with a cigarette in between his teeth unlit. " Is that some kind of Fault In Our Stars thing?" Tyler asked.
" It's a metaphor yes... But not like that. It's that the thing that I love the most will kill me, the thing I love against my lips and I want it. I used to smoke, a lot. But I haven't in months because I like feeling miserable and hungry, reminds me I'm alive." Josh said sitting on the hood of Tyler's car. Tyler shrugged " I guess." He agreed, sitting next to Josh.
" Why are you here Tyler?" Josh asked.
" Cause my mom and dad had an affair when my dad was married." Tyler answered. Josh laughed again, making Tyler grin. " Cause every time I think about life, I thing that it won't need me. But yet, death doesn't need me either. So I'm going with the flow for now until anyone needs me in either place."
" Makes sense." Josh replied. " I'm just waiting to be the third person in my life to commit suicide. Yeah life is bullshit then we die, but I want to be the last sibling alive. That would be sick. One more depressed as fuck kid then I'm the only kid. Then they won't forget me." Josh said. Giving Tyler a cigarette. " When this is smoked I'll kill myself. You're in charge of my life now okay?" He said putting a messy "J" on the cigarette with sharpie and putting it in Tyler's sweatshirt pocket. Tyler nodded, " Okay."
Josh smirked, and patted Tyler on the shoulder. " See you in two days." He said before getting off Tyler's car and walking away, down the street. Tyler smiled, And drove home, right before making a call. Sure he didn't owe this kid anything but... " Hey aunt Kat... Didn't your hamster have babies a while back?...Can I have one?" Before hanging up.
The bullshit followers next meet was interesting.
Mikey had a throbbing eye and Pete had a split lip, Gerard was barely moving without wincing and Brendon was paler than a dead dog. Tyler sat in his spot again, his coat over a small box with holes in it on his lap. Sure Gerard hadn't done shit for him, but Tyler had a free hamster anyways. And it was Gerard's birthday. Gerard was across him today and Josh in his same spot, next to Gerard across from Melanie who was to Tyler's right.
" Mary we don't need you here. We are fine." Tyler said. " Can we try it? We opened up when you left." Tyler lied, his eyes making her agree.
" I won't be in here today folks, just talk okay? I'll be right outside the door okay?" Mary said before nodding at Tyler and walking out.
" Okay you sinners let me just say, happy birthday Gerard." Brendon spoke up grinning.
Gerard grinned as well. " Thanks Brendon." Before looking at the clock. " My dads out of the house for the day. That's my present for me and Mikes. A day of no beating, and a roof over our heads." He commented before sitting back.
Tyler cleared his throat. " I-I got you something. Me and Josh both did. Uh... It's a girl." Tyler mumbled before taking the box and handing it to him. Gerard screaming and jumping up, opening the box. " Shit! It's a fucking hamster oh my god! Thanks holy shit! Oh my god it's name is Lola oh my god I will protect you with my fucking life!" Gerard cooed, a childish soft spot being hit as he held the small thing.
" I'm a dad..." Gerard mumbled.
Josh cleared his throat. " I got you a frog pin that I laughed about for like five minutes. " He said before taking a small pin from his bag and sliding it over to him. Gerard squealed again, happy as a kid on Christmas. " IM A FROG DAD!" He screeched before Mary ran in. " Look I'm a fucking dad!" Gerard yelled showing her his kid and pin making her smile, " Happy birthday Gerard I'm glad you are having fun." Before walking out again. The pin was a bigger green pin with the words 'FROG DAD' on it with a picture of a frog.
" Gerard, do you think your dad will care?" Dallon asked quietly.
Gerard stiffened. " Oh god... What do I do?" He asked, heart breaking. Tyler felt so bad for him already, so he blurted out the first thing he could think of. " Keep her at my house and you can visit when ever you want. It's a tiny apartment... I was kicked out of my parents place. But the door doesn't lock." Tyler rambled.
Gerard grinned again. " Really? You'd do that?" He asked cautiously.
Tyler nodded. " If any of you need to get away you're more than welcome to stay at my place for as long as you need. Only have one room but that's two beds and a pullout couch." Before being hugged by Gerard, all signs of the scary teenager gone being replaced by a energetic sassy boy. Tyler lightly hugged back, watching as Mikey shot him a look when he almost touched Gerard's back. He instead held his shoulders which worked. Josh gave him a weird blank look.
" Guys I live right down the street from here, in the building across from the gas station. Top floor and last apartment. Has a gross yellow door the color of my sweatshirt." Tyler announced. Everyone nodded, Melanie high fiving him.
" I live there! Oh my god Tyler we can totally hang out! I live on the floor below you, the second door!" Melanie said clapping. Pete shooting her a grin.
" I need advice." Frank blurted out. Everyone looked at him and he continued. " I uh... I have my dad coming from across the country for his birthday... It's not for awhile I know but... I don't know how I can bail. He can't come here, he can't, no fucking way he will."
" Why can't you say you're sick." Brendon suggested, shivering from the cold. Dallon immediately took his jacket off and offered it to Brendon, who took it smiling.
" I don't know if he would believe it. I never got sick when I was younger, and when I did he still..."
" Does he know where you live?" Josh asked. Watching Frank shake his head. Josh continued. " Tell him the wrong place and when he gets there say that he was wrong and that he is stupid, he'll waste to much gas to care." He said simply. Messing around with his bright red hair.
" Okay... I'll do that." Frank said smiling.
" We all have daddy issues. That's nice to know." Melanie said fixing her skirt.
Tyler sent her a questioning look and she replied. " My dad had sex with my mom and left me, Peter's dad killed his wife and left, Gerard and Mikey get Beat to a pulp, Mikey get that eye checked out and gee your back is bleeding. Tyler, you seem like the type who was punched and kicked to the curb. Josh's dad sold Josh to a house full of sluts for a couple hundred bucks. Brendon and Dallon haven't even met their dads. And Frank, hasn't admitted it yet." Melanie said going around the room. Petes grin dropping and Tyler's as well.
" That's not your fucking job to share everyone's problems." Pete snarled. Josh took his knife out of his boot and looked at Pete. " Stay." He growled. Then he turned to Tyler, and grinned, tapping the empty space between him and Dallon. Tyler got up and slowly sat next to him. Josh slung his arm around Tyler's shoulders, Tyler blushing like a little kid.
" This is still bull shitty as fuck." Brendon complained.
" Yep, life is bullshit, then you die." Josh replied.
" I was gunna say life's bull shit." Mikey said. " My mom sold her body to other men to feed us... My dad didn't know until he heard banging when he came home from work early. And mom was bleeding on the floor as a guy was fucking her senseless." He said. Watching as Gerard stopped petting the hamster in his hands. He set her in the box carefully before putting his head in his hands.
" Again, life is bullshit, then you die." Josh mumbled.
Mikey let out a hollow laugh. " Fuck yeah."
Tyler huffed out air before sucking in a deep breathe, everyone was too silent. " Wanna hear something I wrote?" He asked.
" Go on ahead dude." Pete said.
" Yeah that sound better than this fucking silence." Frank commented.
" I wake up fine and dandy but then by the time I find it handy, To rip my heart apart and start planning my crash landing, I go up, up, up, up, up to the ceiling, Then I feel my soul start leaving, like an old man's hair receding, I'm pleading please, oh please on my knees repeatedly asking, Why it's got to be like this. Is this living free? I don't want to be the one, be the one who has the sun's blood on my hands, I'll tell the moon, take this weapon forged in darkness, Some see a pen, I see a harpoon." Tyler rapped.
" I'll stay awake, 'Cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight. Why am I not scared in the morning? I don't hear those voices calling, I must have kicked them out, I must have kicked them out, I swear I heard demons yelling, Those crazy words they were spelling, They told me I was gone, they told me I was gone." He rapped. Josh tapping out a beat against his thighs.
" That was good." Dallon said louder,
" Yeah, I like that." Mikey said.
" Y-Yeah that was cool!" Brendon said sounding a bit sad. " I don't really... Rap in my songs. I just sing."
" Yep it's just a thing I do I guess." Tyler mumbled.
" Can y-you sing another o-one?" Melanie asked. " Gerard... Can't you?" She asked. Tears streaming down her face.
Gerard nodded, holding his hamster again. " In the middle of a gun fight... In the center of a restaurant... They say, "Come with your arms raised high!" Well, they're never gonna get me,
Like a bullet through a flock of doves... To wage this war against your faith in me, Your life...will never be the same. On your mother's eyes, say a prayer...say a prayer!" He sang, Tyler lost in his voice. He wasn't used to being sang too, he was the one who sang. He liked it a lot.
" That was good." Mary said walking in. Gerard frowned at her. " Okay." He mumbled.
" You're over time guys, you didn't notice?" She asked.
" It's nine in the afternoon." Brendon said hopping up.
" Morning." Mary corrected. Brendon frowned.
" It's nine... In the... Afternoon." He said staring at her.
They all left, Tyler said happy birthday to Gerard one last time before meeting Josh outside. Who was staring at his shoes frowning. " I don't know." Josh said when Tyler poked him.
" Don't know what?" Tyler asked.
" Well... I don't know. Just don't. Nothing, nothing at all. Nothing's something right? Well not to me. I'm not something, I'm nothing. I don't get It, anything. Just don't know how to drive, sing, blow a bubble, make a paper airplane, tie my shoes, bake a cake... Just, nothing. I don't know." Josh said angrily. He looked at Tyler with a crazy expression. " I. Don't. Know." He said raising his voice.
" Me either." Tyler said. " But it's not up to you Josh." He said normally. " The cigarette is still full Josh you aren't going anywhere. Here's my number, text me if you need me. I can drive to your place if you need me too. And don't worry, I can't bake either." Tyler said before pecking Josh on the lips quickly and walking away.
Josh stood watching him, a big goofy grin planted on his face. Brendon walked by him, and looked at his face. " You too should date." He commented. Josh looked at him. " You and Dallon are cute too." He commented before handing Brendon a cookie he stole from the front desk. He began walking home, humming to a song he head heard minutes before.
Tyler sat at home, watching Lola in her cage, the tv playing softly in the back. It was the day after Gerard's birthday, they had group meet in a few hours, it was three in the morning already. Tyler wasn't... Sleepy to say. He didn't get why, he just wasn't. It wasn't one of his nights when he was screaming on the floor shouting blurry face, just a night.
He was glad he was awake when Mikey stumbled through the door, a huge bloody gash on his cheek, and a big black eye. Tyler shot up and ran to him, Mikey crying into his shoulder. " Mikes shhhh it's all okay, you are safe with me shhh. Where's Gerard?" Tyler said softly. " H-He stayed back with d-dad I ran w-when he had a steak knife i-I'm sorry Tyler I'm so s-s-sorry!" He sobbed. " It's my fault I didn't make d-dinner on time it's my fault! It was all n-night! He came home at n-nine but never asked f-for dinner! When it was m-midnight he began yelling and beating on G-Gee about it!" Mikey yelled, still crying.
Melanie ran through the door, obviously had been sleeping. She had Gerard behind her, shaking and bloody from the feet up. " I wanna die," was all Gerard said. Sobbing softly. Tyler cursed and ran to the bathroom, tugging both boys along. He spent all night cleaning them up and talking them out of death. Mikey wasn't responding, his mind wandering to another place. He never said a word until it was near four. He just said " Life is bullshit, then you die."
" Yep." Tyler agreed.
The next bullshit followers meeting was strange.
Dallon didn't speak, and Brendon smelt like vomit, and Josh looked sick, and Tyler didn't give a fuck. Pete and Melanie where pissy, Mikey and Gerard stuck to Tyler like glue, Frank was chatty. He kept on rambling, until Mary ended up leaving. As soon as the door shut he snapped his mouth shut.
" Okay here's the fucking deal guys. Raise your hand if you hate life." Frank said. Everyone in the room raised their hands.
" Raise your hand is suicide is a option." Everyone in the room raised their hands.
" Life is bullshit, then you die." Dallon said. Everyone looked at him.
" Hell yeah." Josh replied, nodding at him approvingly.
" Let's say... If none of us ever get better let's make a suicide pact." Brendon said. Completely nonchalantly.
" We should do it on Christmas. If it doesn't get better by than we can jump from McGyver cliff." Josh said. " By then my sibling will be dead. And my life will get a bit less bullshitty."
" Wanna make a group chat to keep in touch?" Melanie asked. " Everyone got kik?" She asked.
They made a group chat. Mary came in, everyone looking at her before silently leaving. Tyler yanked Josh back, meaning to talk with him. " Josh that fucking cigarette is still unlit, if you kill yourself before we all do in two months I'll fucking throat punch you." He snarled before pecking Josh's lips and walking away. Pulling his mustard yellow sweatshirt tight to his body.
Pete: McGyver cliff I have good weed
Melanie, Pete, Dallon, Brendon, Josh, Tyler, Gerard, Frank, and Mikey sat at the edge of McGyver cliff feet dangling from the edge, smoking and looking at the stars. It was twilight and a very cold night. No one caring, but wearing sweatshirts, Brendon wearing Dallon's jacket and hat. The weed made them feel warm and that was what mattered. Only few words spoken, until Frank lost his shit, that is.
" My mom and dad hated each other. Strong Catholics, born and raised in church and down right perfect. Until I was born... Mom hates me. She wanted a boy with her blonde curly hair and blue eyes, dad wanted a little girl with moms hair. But they got me, a short, pale, black haired freak. They called me Frankie, pretending I was a girl. They forced me into dresses and hit me when I refused. My dad got so sick of it, so he wanted to try again. He fucked my mom over and over again, she got pregnant so much. When I was eight I had had six siblings. All of them had black hair. My parents where pissed, they put my little brothers and sister up for adoption. Keeping me because I was too old and knew to much. I was ten when my dad held a knife to my throat. Said I was too much, I was ugly, and stupid, and not his daughter he wanted. I ran, ran far away..."
" You aren't ugly or stupid." Gerard said, smoking and creating rings of smoke in the air.
" Thanks Gee." Frank replied. " But I'm no blonde, curly haired, female, who had perfect grades and a happy life."
" Life's bullshit... Then you die," Brendon said simply.
" Agreed." Melanie replied.
" Agreed." Pete followed.
" Agreed." Josh said, looking to the rocks below the cliff.
" Agreed." Tyler said.
" Agreed." Gerard said.
" Agreed." Frank smiled.
" Agreed." Dallon said quietly.
" Agreed." Mikey followed last. Pulling Josh back a bit. " One more year." He whispered.
" Guys... What happened to us? Mikey doesn't go to school... We don't either, well I don't. We don't sleep at night, we have no real family... What happened? Why us? Why did our lives just turn to bullshit?" Melanie asked.
" Somebody had to do it... So we did." Pete mumbled.
" We manned up and took the shitty part." Brendon replied, the weed making him giggly.
" Why the fuck did we sacrifice ourselves? Fuck the world, I want to be normal." Dallon hissed. " Like seriously! What did we do to deserve this fucking life? Did we kill anyone? Did we start a war? NO! We where just fucking kids man, excited for our futures until our families fucked it up!" He said raising is voice. " I have fucking anxiety and psychotic shit going on, did two year old Dallon who was allergic to strawberries and loved mice deserve this? Did a two year old who cried when he killed a fucking fly deserve this shit? NO! I'm... Just... Done." He ranted, voice wavering and dying down near the end. Brendon rubbed his back and sighed.
" One more year. Life's bullshit, than you die."
Melanie: Hey guys!
Jeesh: What
Melanie: I can't talk to you guys outside of BSF?
Tyler: No.
Pete: Tyler u chill?
Tyler: Dallon
Dal: Huh?
Tyler: Brendon with you?
Dal: Yep, trying to get him to eat.
Frank: Is it working?
Dal: A bit, he's gone through one pancake, he knows how proud we all are.
Melanie: Good! Tell him how proud I am, that's epic!
Tyler: Jeesh lol
Jeesh: Yeahhhh
Jeesh: My old friends made it
Tyler: Change it too Jishwa
Jishwa: Ok
Pete: Do G and Mikes have phones?
BrenDONE: Nope!
BrenDONE: I will have you all know, that I have eaten two pancakes and drank a full cup of water.
Melanie: BEEBO!
Tyler: That's amazing!
Pete: YEET!
Frank: LETS GO BOI GO BEEEEEEBS
Jishwa: Good, I'm glad. How much do you weigh?
BrenDONE: I'm 5'9 and weigh about 95 pounds
Dal: Our goal is 120 at least
BrenDONE: Yep
Frank: I'm 5'4 and weigh 120
Jishwa: I'm 5'9 and weigh 160 ish
Tyler: I'm 5'6 and weigh 125
Melanie: Idk tbh maybe 125-135 and I'm 5'5
Dal: Josh you work out right? You're buff. I'm 6'4 and like 170
Jishwa: Yes I do, thanks.
Melanie: Guys Gerard and Mikey are here
Frank: Are they okay?
Melanie: Gee had a huge knife cut and Mikey's wicked bruised up
Tyler: I'm coming down.
Jishwa: I'm coming too.
Dal: On a scale of one to ten how bad?
Melanie: seven to eight
Pete: Should you call the cops?
BrenDONE: wait till they are good enough to say what happened
Tyler: It is NOT a seven to eight Mel. That's a fucking nine to ten
Jishwa: I'm here.
Josh walked through the door without knocking and saw the two kids. Gerard had a large blood oozing gash from his stomach and was black and blue, seeing in shock. Mikey was passed out beaten black and blue, blood coming from his nose and mouth.
" I'm calling the cops." Josh said, taking his phone out and dialing.
" Shouldn't we wait?" Tyler asked.
" Well we don't know if we fucking can. I'm calling in, I suggest you get Gerard out of shock." He said. Tyler looked at Josh for a second, who was wearing a muscle shirt and black skinny jeans ripped, his tattoo out for the world to see. He had his dyed red hair mostly covered by a beanie, he looked good.
" Hello, my two friends where beat up, I need an ambulance." He said cooly, " They where mugged, hit so hard I doubt they will remember it. Please hurry." And he gave the address. His voice was cool as he waited, " I'm a friend, and please don't contact anyone else about this. The family already knows and aren't going to be able to come. My name is Josh Dun, put the bill on Jim Dun's tab." and he hung up. " On their way."
" So are we missing group?" Melanie asked.
" I'm going with them. You are going to group." Josh said, voice stone cold.
" Okay." They agreed.
Tyler: Gee Josh and Mikes aren't going to be group. Everyone else needs to come.
Dal: Okay
" Okay guys, it's been going well lately with me outside the room, I'll be doing paperwork next door if you need me alright?" Mary said.
" Okay." Brendon said. And she left.
" Alright guys Josh, Gerard, and Mikey are at the hospital, I don't know how much more those two can take guys. What do we do?" Tyler asked. He looked to Frank. " You and Gerard are close right?"
Frank smirked. " We've fucked so yeah." He replied.
" Do you live alone?" He asked.
" I live with my grandma, five minutes farther than your apartment."
" Why can't we report them?" Pete asked.
" Because Gerard and Mikey have no other family, their grandma Helena died from cancer last month. Everyone else just died off earlier. They aren't old enough to live on their own."
"Fuck that!" Frank growled, standing in quickly. "I'll let them stay with me and my grandma. My grandmas rich and she will do anything to make me not kill myself so let's do it!"
And that's what they did. The boys came to Frank's grandmothers house after Frank had tried explaining, and the rich old widow agreed easily.
The group had been more talkative outside of group, hanging out in public laughing on good days, and crying together on bad days. Tyler and Josh had kissed, fucked, and Tyler didn't know how Josh felt, but he didn't really know either. Gerard and Frank became a couple, Mikey and Pete where getting closer. Mary left their groups now right in the beginning, they'd talk about songs they worked on, band names they liked, actual problems, opinions on movies, anything. Tyler would even go as far as saying they where friends. Tyler had been in this group for about a month, and he hadn't attempted taking his life sense. This wasn't because of Mary at all, this was because of these... These kids. These mutant kids that he talked too. These kids that had worse problems than he did but where always there when he blurted out his feelings.
And Josh... Fucking Josh. With his cocky attitude, dominant personality, killer stare, cute face, adorable laugh, pretty freckles and perfect pale skin, just Josh. Tyler kissed him, sometimes slapped him, and every once and while, they had fucked. Josh was obviously a top, controlling and rough. Sometimes he would break, having memories to being sold to sex trafficking and would cry into Tyler's arms. He had once talked about it in group, and the whole room went quiet. Frank had understood, and they once in awhile talked. Tyler learned Josh was killer at drums, and Josh learned Tyler played ukulele perfectly and piano amazingly.
Tyler brought his ukulele to their annual once a week hang out at McGyver cliff. Everyone would listen and sing alone if they knew the song. But mostly Tyler sang of his emotions, of trees and houses of gold and forests and how he thought he was a goner. Josh was mesmerized.
Gerard had gotten a job at a comic book store, Mikey too, Frank working in Starbucks in the back. Josh worked at Guitar Center for a long time, and enjoyed being in the back on breaks playing the new drum sets. Tyler had started playing on the streets after his other job and began attracting a crowd. Pete and Melanie where offered jobs at a restaurant strictly for their changing behavior and were alright with it. Everyone began working except Frank who wasn't allowed.
Tyler had spent an entire group meeting talking about a play he read, All my Sons. About the twenty one pilots who where killed because a man's choice between his fate and others. Josh was mesmerized again, everything about Tyler he just...
It was two weeks before Christmas. Their Suicide pact still remembered. Melanie had called everyone at about three in the morning to meet. The meeting everyone went to McGyver Cliff, smoking weed and looking at the stars, laying on their cars for protection from the snow. Everyone bundled up and cozy, Tyler in his mustard yellow sweatshirt as always, with a bright red beanie and a blanket. Josh wore a leather jacket over a camouflage sweater. He had an arm around Tyler under the blanket as everyone in silence smoked, passing around the blunt.
"Guys?" Melanie whimpered.
Everyone turned to her, she had fat tears rolling down her cheeks. "I love you." She choked out.
Everyone looked at her, staring like they'd never heard that before.
"I love you too, a-all of you." Dallon said.
"I love you guys too." Tyler announced.
"I-I love you guys." Pete mumbled.
"I... Love you guys. I actually fucking love you guys." Frank whispered.
"I love you so much." Brendon choked out, sobbing.
"I've... I... L-Love you all." Gerard said, sounding like he didn't know he did.
"I think I love all of you too." Mikey mumbled.
Everyone looked at Josh, who lifted his head high. "Fine Jesus, I love all of you heathens more than I thought."
Melanie broke, loud sobbed wracking her body and tears coming in floods, everyone looked at her, she rubbed her eyes softly and sniffed. "I don't know what to do. I don't want to die yet. I'm so confused!"
Everyone watched her cry, tears coming for everyone but Josh. Tyler's eyes locked on Josh's who stared right back at him. Josh raised an eyebrow, as if challenging him. Tyler stood up, "My Chemical Romance raise your hands."
Gerard and Mikey raised their hands instantly, Frank following confused. Tyler didn't know if it was his high or what but he felt determined.
"Start going public with your music, what we've heard is amazing. You'll go big. That's what you're doing with your lives. Music. That's it. That's what your purpose is, that's your start in surviving. Find another guitarist and begin. Panic at The Disco I know you exist. Raise your fucking hands."
Brendon and Dallon. "Fucking find a guitarist and drummer, Brendon your voice is heaven and Dallon your bass skills are incredible. You are going to go out there and become people's idols, and you're going to succeed. That's your job, your purpose, I know that's it. You both have incredible minds and lyrics that make me want to cry. Melanie you talk about being solo, fucking do it. Your crybaby character will do fucking huge. I believe in you completely, you're the future for alternative rock."
"Pete." Tyler said, now standing on the hood of his car. "You talk about Patrick your friend and Joe and Andy. I've heard your skills when picking you up for group, you guys have great potential." Tyler said, seeing Petes eyes full of something he'd never seen before.
He turned to Josh, tears flowing down his stone cold face. "I'm in love with you."
Josh's eyes couldn't have been wider. His mouth opened and closed, "Ty..."
"No fucking listen to me." Tyler growled. "We are going to change the fucking world. I know you want to make a band so let's do it. You and me. We'll have to make choices like those twenty one pilots and... That's what we'll be. Twenty one pilots. I'm in love with you Joshua William Dun. And I fucking know-"
" I'm in love with you too!" Josh yelled, voice broken and cold. His fist slammed down on the car hood, Tyler's silent car with radio missing that is older than he is.
He stood up. "God fucking dammit you guys!" He growled, grabbing his hair and looking at them all. "I love you guys and I'm in love with Tyler! We made a fucking pact and I can't fucking keep that because I don't want you to die! You guys don't fucking deserve death, you deserve the best lives you can have! But what the fuck do you get? This! This! Us, not anyone else. THIS! Not anyone else, I'm me. Josh Dun. Forever and always. This mess of a human is me. And you guys made me believe that I can be the best me that I can. I say fuck the pact, let's make music."
.Silence.
.Silence can be agonizing.
.This silence was ruined a minute later.
Tyler grabbed a cigarette from his pocket and look right at Josh. He walked to the very edge of the cliff, and everyone stood as well, yelling to Tyler "Don't jump!" He turned around, tears flowing.
He threw the cigarette marked J into the water. Forever unlit.
Josh sobbed, grabbing Tyler and crying into his hair, kissing Tyler over and over. Again and again.
"Thank you Tyler, thank you so much,"
"I hear a voice inside my head... Follow me instead," Tyler sang quietly, ukulele softly strummed.
"Follow me instead," He repeated,
"Follow me instead," To Gerard and Mikey,
"Follow me instead," To Brendon and Dallon,
"Follow me instead," to Pete and Melanie,
"Follow me instead," to Frank,
"Follow me instead," to Josh.
.Follow me instead.
(Time skip ten years)
Gerard, Mikey, Frank, and Ray became My Chemical Romance. Taking over the world off punk music and becoming more famous than they ever though. Frank proposed to Gerard, Mikey and Pete married. Gerard and Frank had a beautiful girl Bandit Lee Way-Iero. They made songs and had many records, letting kids know it's okay to be mad, different, sad, and it's okay to grow up.
Brendon, Dallon, and Kenny became Panic! At the Disco. Dallon and Brendon married, with two dogs Bogart and Zero. They became as famous as MCR and loved every second. They wrote about love and tracing childhoods and finalized happiness and overcoming death and made sure they where there for their fans.
Pete, Patrick, Joe, and Andy became Fall Out Boy. Pete and Mikey together as mentioned, happy with two sons and a daughter, Bronx, Saint, and Rowan. Fall Out Boy served as a protector and a safe place of kids going through their own battles, it was okay to be unique. You are you.
Melanie was still Melanie. Going big and solo, huge hits for Crybaby and her other records. She was the future for alternative rock, as Tyler said. Her creepy and dark themed songs showing truth and hurt in her past, her colorful look making her stand out against the other artists. She had remained 'besties' with Pete and frequently visited them.
Tyler and Josh became Twenty One Pilots. They where married, and had two cats, Blurry and Spooky. Twenty One Pilots became more famous than ever before, winning a Grammy and countless other awards. Their lyrics showed pain and death and overcoming your self, depression and anxiety, and how to win against your demons. Tyler had never been more happy, Josh had never felt so in love.
Once a month everyone spent a weekend at McGyver Cliff. If they had tours, they'd Skype once a week. They where close as ever, and now they where grown up they had never been happier. Everyone was safe, happy, and loved.
On their tenth anniversary to their failed suicide pact, they visited Mary. She was about 50 and still working as a group therapy manager. When they had walked in, she had cried. She mentioned how she saw their fame and was so proud. They mentioned how this group had saved their lives, many times.
After seeing her they had gathered at the cliff, and Tyler brought his ukulele.
"There's miles of land in front of us, And we're dying with every step we take, We're dying with every breath we make, And all fall in line,"
.
.
.
.
The waves below them crashed and rolled as he sang, everyone together, dogs, children, everyone together. All sitting in a circle, Tyler's old banged up car with no radio older than he had been, had sat Tyler and Josh with two sleepy cats inside it. Josh gently tapped along as Tyler sang, the song he had written just for this group. Just for his group.
.
.
.
.
"So then you put me back in my place, So I might start another day, And once again, I will be
In a march to the sea,"
The song ended.
As tradition, at the end. Everyone screamed to the sky, perfect harmony and synced cries to the sky,
"Follow me instead,"