A/N: I read your replies for my first post of Forgive Me, and I agreed with you. So here's a repost and I switched some things up a bit. Read and review and tell me what you think of it this time.
disclaimer: I do not own BMW or any characters or this song or Evanescence
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"How could you do this Angela?" Shawn asked bitterly. Angela felt her face grow red as she looked toward the ground.
"I- I'm sorry," she stuttered. "I don't know what to say, I-"
"Forget it," Shawn interrupted, staring at me in disgust. "I'm outta here."
"Shawn!" Angela exclaimed, quickly looking up and reaching forward, but it was too late. Shawn was already gone. Tears in her eyes, Angela bent down to the coffee table and pulled out a cigarette. She was preparing to light it when she stopped and looked at it in disgust.
"Damn it," she whispered and snapped the cigarette in half before taking the whole pack and throwing it at the window. "I'm such an idiot."
-FLASHBACK-
Angela sat on the couch in her apartment, a cigarette in her mouth, her hands wiping away the falling tears from her face. She and Shawn had just gotten in a huge fight. He had been complaining that with as many courses she was taking in school, they couldn't spend much time together. Now at age 24, Angela was always under stress. School, work, and her relationship with Shawn were too much to handle at some times. To help deal with the stress, Angela had picked up an old habit she'd had: smoking. (A/N: I know Angela never smoked, but it's my story, go with it) So far, she'd been able to hide it from Shawn.
Angela took a long drag from the cigarette and blew the smoke out right as her apartment door burst open and in walked Shawn.
"Angela, I wanna talk about our fight today-" he had stopped abruptly. "What are you doing?" He looked at the cigarette. Angela threw it in the ashtray she'd put on the coffee table and stood from the couch in defense.
"Shawn, I know what you're thinking-" she began.
"When did you start smoking?" he asked, surprised. "I've never seen you with a cigarette."
"Listen, I'm under a lot of stress right now and I had to do something," Angela explained.
"You could have talked to me," Shawn pointed out.
"Talked to you?" Angela yelled. "You're part of the problem! The only thing you ever do is complain about our relationship! If you want it fixed so badly, why don't you put an effort into it?"
"Oh, like you do?" Shawn hollered back. "We just got in another fight and I came over here to talk to you about it and what do I see? You're sitting there puffing away on a cigarette! Lord knows what else you got hidden around here to 'help with stress'! Pot, coke? Come on, where's it at?"
"Shawn, you're taking this way too far," Angela said. "A lot of people smoke and I couldn't talk to you-"
"I don't really care so much that you're smoking," Shawn admitted. "You had to take the same high school classes as me. I know that you know what smoking does to you. What I'm pissed about is the fact you lied to me, you hid things from me, you feel you can't talk to me about your problems, and then you don't even create an effort to fix it! Do you just not care about our relationship?"
"Of course I do!" Angela exclaimed. "But I don't-"
"It's not a big deal about the cigarettes," Shawn repeated. "I don't expect you to be some 'good-girl', but you can at least talk to me about your problems. If you can't, what kind of relationship do we have?"
"I'm sorry," Angela spat sarcastically. "Maybe if you were around a bit more, you'd see some of the shit that's been going on."
"All we've done for the past two months is fight," Shawn said.
"I know," Angela agreed. "And it doesn't look to me like you've done much of anything to solve it either, Shawn, so instead of complaining about me all the time, why don't you put the damn beer bottle down sometime and come talk to me!"
"That's bullshit," Shawn said firmly, glaring at her.
"You're gonna turn into your father," Angela said. "Just wait."
"You little bitch," Shawn muttered under his breath. "Don't ever fucking compare me to my father." Angela closed her eyes and looked at the floor. It had been soon after that incident that Shawn had left.
-END FLASHBACK-
"Why did I say that?" Angela muttered.
Can you forgive me again
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you
I heard the words come out
I felt that I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you
Then you look at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken
"I broke this, I have to fix it," Angela sighed. She picked up the phone and dialed Shawn's number, clearing her throat and hoping Shawn wouldn't notice that she'd been crying.
"Hello?" he answered.
"Shawn?" Angela asked. "It's me. Look, I think we need to talk."
"About what?" Shawn asked bitterly. "We've said enough."
"Shawn, we need to fix this," Angela said, a lump rising in her throat. "The problems won't go away if we don't work at it."
"Whatever," Shawn muttered. Angela's jaw dropped.
"Whatever?" she repeated, hurt. "You were just over here screaming that I never make an effort and now your attitude is 'whatever'?"
"No," Shawn replied, smirking. "My attitude is if you don't care, I don't care. I gave up on trying to fix things."
"Well hold on a bit longer," Angela told him. "Meet me on the bench under the clock tower in the park in fifteen minutes. If you don't show up, we're over." With that, Angela slammed the phone down and wiped the tears from her brown eyes that had started to form. She grabbed her car keys and headed to the meeting place.
Angela arrived and waited for Shawn to come. Just when she thought he wasn't coming, she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm here," Shawn said, sitting beside her. "What?" Angela smiled, now knowing he did care.
I'd give anything now to kill those words for you
Each time I say something I regret I cry:
"I don't wanna lose you"
But somehow I know that you will never leave me.
"I wanna talk to you about the problems we've been having," Angela began.
"What's there to talk about Angela?" Shawn asked. Angela's mouth dropped open again.
"What's there not to talk about Shawn?" she asked. Angela sighed. "I wanted to start with saying I'm sorry about the cigarettes-"
"I already said that doesn't bother me-" Shawn interrupted, but Angela stopped him.
"Well it bothers me that I hid something from you, and I'm going to quit," she said. "Now, there's one problem solved."
"Angela, this has been going on for two months," Shawn said. "What if he can't fix it? What if we waited too long?"
"We didn't," Angela replied. "If we really love each other, we can make it work." She stopped and looked Shawn straight in the eyes, almost as if peering into his soul. "You really do love me, don't you?"
"You know I do," Shawn replied quietly.
"That's not what I wanna hear, Shawn," Angela stated. "I want to hear you say it. It seems like forever since you've told me anything." Shawn sighed and looked into Angela's eyes, preparing to open his heart to her.
"Angela, I love you," he said. "I love you more than anything on this planet. You're the only girl who ever really understood me, and you're the only one who ever actually cared about me and didn't go out with me just for popularity. I'm so lucky to be with you and I guess I take it for granted sometimes, but I'm sorry. I know I said some things earlier I shouldn't have, but I want you to know that I really do love you."
Angela could feel even more tears building up in her eyes as she listened to his words. They showed her he really did care about their relationship.
Cuz you were meant for me
Somehow I'll make you see
How happy you make me, yeah
I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive
"Shawn, I love you too," Angela said, placing her hand on his. "And I know we can make this work because I know love is stronger than anything else in the world. I don't care how cheesy that sounded, but I love you and I will always love you."
Angela looked deep into his eyes again and smiled.
"I'm sorry," she said. "For everything."
So stay with me
You look into my eyes and I'm screaming inside
That I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry too, Angela," Shawn said. "I love you." He placed his hand on her waist and leaned forward, their lips easily finding each others' in undying love.
And you forgave me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you.
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A/N: Was that one better? I know it was longer, but what did you guys think? Let me know! RR!