Snatching Knickers by luvscharlie
Hermione left the girls' dormitory. Hearing Lavender and Parvati prattling on over the object of her affection was more than she could stomach. It was late enough that the common room would likely be empty and that was the way she liked it these days. At least if it was empty, she didn't have to watch Ron pawing his new girlfriend.
She had taken to walking whilst looking at her feet a lot lately. At least if her eyes were downcast, there was less chance of seeing something that would haunt her dreams. Lavender shoving her tongue down Ron's throat was just the sort of thing she was hoping to avoid. "Ah." She slammed headlong into something solid where a door should have been.
"Watch where you're going, Granger!"
It was a familiar voice, but one which was misplaced. Fred Weasley wasn't a student at Hogwarts any longer. Yet, there he was hanging by his ankle in the doorway that led from the girls dormitories to the common room.
"Fred!"
"Ssh! Are ya tryin' to get me caught? Ya know what McGonagall will do if she catches me here?"
"Why are you here?"
He shot her an impish grin from his upside down position. "Granger, if anyone can get into this school undetected, it's me. Do ya mind gettin' me down from here? I dropped my wand when I was flipped into the air."
She brushed the question aside with a shake of her head. "Wait a minute. How did you get in here?" she asked pointing at the stairs, which she knew prevented boys' ingress into the girls' dorms. "Well, almost in here," she said, inclining her head towards his current dilemma.
"This is embarrassing," he said. "George and I figured out how to get past those stairs during our second year. Oh, the things we have done in those dorm rooms."
She rolled her eyes and tapped her foot impatiently.
"I'll spare you the lurid details."
"Please do."
"However, suffice it to say that this," he said, indicating his predicament, "is a new addition to the security system. "Um, do me a favour and don't tell George about this. He dared me to—I shouldn't be telling you."
She turned as though to leave. "George will find out soon enough when you don't come home tonight."
"Wait! Don't go. I've heard that you have a problem of your own these days. I'll help if you get me down."
She narrowed her gaze. "What could you possibly have heard?"
"I've heard my little brother is spending the better part of his days with Lavender Brown perched on his lap and his hand inside her robe."
He hit a nerve. She turned on her heel and was at the foot of the stairs before his words brought her to a full stop. "What I have in my pocket will make a troll look beautiful when compared to who it's used on. It's yours if you get me down."
A flick of her wand and a whispered Liberacorpus brought him crashing down on his head.
"Thanks, I think." He rubbed his head. "You could have just given me my wand, you know."
She held out her hand as he went to retrieve his wand. "I'm waiting for what's in your pocket."
"Oh, yes that," he said, crossing the room. He overpowered her before she knew what was happening, pinning her arms to her side and relieving her of her wand.
"What do you think you're doing?" she said in outrage.
He flicked his own wand, said Levicorpus and a second later she was dangling by her ankle and doing her best to keep her robes from revealing far more than he needed to see.
"You lied to me, you bastard."
"Language, young lady," Fred said, drawing back his hand as if to swat her bottom.
"Do it and you'll lose that hand, Weasley!"
He seemed to believe she meant business because he dropped his hand and used his wand to perform a spell on the staircase.
"Now, I have a pair of knickers to procure from Katie Bell's room."
"Why, might I ask?"
"George dared me, of course."
"What about me?" she squealed. He was already halfway up the stairs.
"The world's a better place when it's upside down. I hear you've been having quite the pity party lately. Perhaps this will give you a new perspective." He winked at her, "Now, to get those knickers…."