Don't Look Back—Chapter 1
A/N: Hello, all! Okay, I'm extremely excited about this story.
IT'S THE SEQUEL TO PANEM'S DARLING!
I gave you some time to think of what'd happen and what's going to go on. So, here YOU GO! I'M SUPER, SUPER EXICTED! Enjoy Ch. 1!
Chapter 1—It's Been Two Years
Ian's POV
"So, how's school?" I say into the mouthpiece, staring at the primroses that adorn my dresser. Diana, the little girl who I met a few days ago, is outside playing with a little dog. "Is it okay?"
Primrose sighs, yawns (it's 4:30 in the morning), and begins: "I'm sorry, Ian, but it's been miserable. Emily Line keeps sobbing about you. And she's not even really crying. It's all for show. She keeps moaning 'Not Ian, not Ian' and 'IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME' or something along those lines. It's just dreadful. I can't concentrate on anything because she and I have the same schedule and she sits near me in all my classes. She's always whispering to me 'Oh, it must be horrible for you, him playing you like that. I'm so sorry he loved me the whole entire time'. How did you put up with her? Why won't she just freaking let it go?"
I groan and put my hand over my eyes. "Crap, she's grown into such a wart since I left. It's been two years; she should be over it."
"She likes to stretch the truth."
I laugh. So does Primrose.
It's been two years since I left District 12. Primrose Everdeen, Katniss Everdeen's sister, and I won the 75th Hunger Games that consisted of the victor's families. And I love Primrose with my whole heart and soul. After we won, I was relocated to District 10. Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen's boyfriend, sent us secret clues. But the Capitol figured it out and blamed it on me, so I got moved. Peeta calls me everyday on the high-tech phones I stole, begging for forgiveness, crying, screaming and cursing the Capitol. I always tell him I'd rather it be me than him.
Is that true? Do I really wish that? I miss Primrose so much it's like swimming across the Atlantic Ocean. She's on the other side. She's calling for me, her eyes the color of the sky and the water. I swim frantically, so frantically that I set myself back. I am the one keeping myself from her. But there are also other obstacles—the Capitol being crashing waves, District 10's constantly-guarded thirty foot brick wall being the howling wind, and the distance is the pounding rain. I'll never make it by myself.
"So, how's 10?" she asks, her voice slightly cracking.
"It's good. You were right; there are beautiful flowers. This kid sold me a box of pr—of them. They're really nice. The girl's name is Diana and I gave her my whole moneybag."
"Ian!" she exclaims. For a moment, I think she's slammed the phone down, but it's just her, squealing excitedly on the other end. "That's wonderful! Absolutely brilliant! Oh, my god, that's the sweetest thing ever! I'm kissing you over the phone, you know!"
I laugh. Primrose is the best.
"Yeah, well, her family was in trouble, no work, broken back. She was selling the flowers dirt cheap. I felt really awful."
"Oh, my god, it sounds worse than 12…" I realize she's trying hard to not cry.
"Primrose, don't cry. It's okay. They've got money now that I'm here."
She takes a breath that I hear over the phone. "It's okay. I'm okay. It's okay. Okay." I hear her breathing shudder and then relax. "So it really is good?"
"No. It's awful without you and Peeta and Katniss and Haymitch and Effie and Lauren and Logan. Absolutely horrifying, Primrose, I can't take it. I need you here."
She really does start crying now. "I need y-you too, Ian. I c-can't stand it. I love you I love you I l-love you." And her voice, creaking and heaving, comforts me.
Someone still loves me. Someone still cares about me. Someone I love and care about. Thank god. Thank the lord. Thank you thank you thank you so much.
"Primrose, don't cry. It's okay. I'm okay." I pause, trying to find something to break the silence that includes Primrose's non-stifled sobs and my loud, really loud breaths.
"I—I need to tell you something," she starts, obviously wiping away tears. "I'm come—"
There's a knock on my door. "I better go," I whisper. "Call me tomorrow."
"I can't. We're—we're leaving for vacation, to—to 4. So, um, I won't be able to call for awhile." She's having trouble stringing words together, I think. I feel my stomach sink.
"Okay. Wait, hang on. If you can go to 4, why can't you come here?" I say it excitedly, anxiously. "Really though Primrose, why not?!"
"We can only go to districts with, uh, high-security. Oh, god, Katniss is home. I gotta go. Bye. I love you times a million."
I only have time to say "I love you too" before she hangs up.
She's keeping something from me.
But what?
Primrose's POV
I can't stand not telling Ian.
It's driving me inward. Today I almost let it out. I can't tell him or he'll yell at me and start crying and tell me not to. But I've reached the end of my road. I can't do this anymore. I just want to be happy. And this is the only way to be happy. To do this would mean eternal happiness. And I really want that. Knowing he and I will somehow, someway, always be together. Even if I leave for awhile and he's worried sick. In the end he'll have to thank me.
And as my eyes well up with tears, I want to dial and tell him.
But he loves me. So I can't.
He'd fear and fret and start screaming at me "DON'T DO IT! IT'S TOO MUCH PRIMROSE!"
However it's the only way to see him again.
And as I feel the overwhelming pain wash over me knowing he's not with me I nearly black out.
"KATNISS!" I screech, clamping my sweaty palms over my eyes.
She comes running in, braid swishing madly behind her. "What? What's wrong? Prim is it Ian again? Oh god, I'm so sorry." Katniss pulls me into a hug. I rock back and forth in her lap, like I used to late at night after my nightmares. "You know it'll all be okay. It's going to be okay. We'll find a way to get him back home."
Tell her tell her just tell her that you have to it's for the best tell her not to worry that it'll be fine
"That—that'll take—t-take—"
I start to sob. Every time he calls me I manage to keep myself calm and collected. But after we hang up remembering his voice just BAM! cracks me in half. And suddenly I'm crying hysterically like Emily Line every day at school.
They
Call me
Insane, demented, upset
Torn apart inside
And I must say
That they
Are close
Near perfect description, in fact
But in
Instead
I'll tell
Them that
I'm fine, I'm
Fine.
I close my eyes. "And when I run over the, the sun, I'll yell, yell out, so loud, 'How is, your life, full of pain, and strife, that's nice, I'd like, to know,'" I whisper, smiling slightly.
And maybe I can be okay.
There's shouting from downstairs. Muffled words, crystal clear curses, pounding of fists, my mother and Katniss arguing. I slip to the ground and sneak to the staircase.
"—lost all interest, always shut up in her room, Jesus Christ, Mother, she's what you were!"
"Young lady," Mother says dangerously. "Primrose is not becoming depressed. She's coping, for God's sake. And don't swear anymore, please. It's not of becoming a lady."
"I don't want to be a lady! I want to be a freaking hunter. I've got no time to deal with a lump of misery. She's got to grow up. Childhood crushes don't last, Mom. She's gotta forget him and move on."
"Katniss—Joanne—Everdeen." Mother's voice becomes even quieter, more deadly. "You do not, in ANY way, become insensitive to your poor sister's feelings. Now, go outside and just—just go."
Katniss swears loudly. "Fine then. Shut me out. Again. As usual. You are so hypocritical!" And she storms out the door.
I step into the light just as my mother throws down her dishrag. "Oh, hello Primrose; you've been up in your room the whole time?"
"Um…yes. So, I need to tell you something."
"Yes, dear?" Her eyes hug me a little. I smile sadly.
"I'm going to—"
—End of Chapter 1—