Loosing me would mean he was wrong- Jondy understands what Max never could. Everything he did was for them.

He saved my life the night of the escape. We were running, me and Max, through the trees, jumping logs, dodging bullets. The other's may have been faster, might have been able to run further, but even I felt the rush of adrenaline that came from our favourite game. Escape and Evade. That night was scary, dangerous, that night was fun. It stopped being fun when Max fell through that ice. I was the oldest so I skipped across the ice first. Being skinny and tall I was lighter than Max's smaller stockier frame. Or maybe I weakened the ice… I guess we'll never know. All I remember is that I made it across and turned to here the crack of breaking ice and seeing my best friend disappear into the cold blackness. I ran back, I ran as fast as I could, throwing myself to the ground and sliding over to the hole. I plunged my hands into the water, dipped in my head to search frantically though the freezing gloom for any sign of her. That was when I heard the guards coming closer.

I didn't know what to do…

Do I run, follow my training and leave Max to the guards. Maybe they won't find her. Looking into that ice I knew she couldn't stay down there for much longer and if she came up when the guards were near she was a good as dead. I made my decision that night and if I had the chance I'd do it over again. Max is my sister; I didn't mind dying for her.

I ran. Not towards the perimeter as Zack had ordered. I didn't skulk like I had been taught. I didn't evade capture. I ran. Headfirst and straight towards him. The poor guy was so shocked he didn't even have time to raise his gun. I suppose I should have realised then that I was different. That there was something not quite right about the way in which he easily snapped my arm and pinned me to the ground. I was supposed to realise that an X-5 should be able to take out an armed guard in her sleep. But I didn't realise any of that all I knew was that he was bigger, stronger and scarier than I was. All I knew was that he was wining.

I remember getting one good kick to his balls before the dogs came. He was rolling in agony and tears were streaming down my face because although I'd put my shoulder back in place he'd corked my knee so hard I could barely stand. I knew then that there was no way I was getting out of Manticore alive. 100 healthy I was the worst of the

X-5's and I was no where near 100 healthy. So I did what I was trained to do. It is better one soldier die for the mission than for all parties to survive and the mission lie unfulfilled.

I knew Zack would understand.

So I screamed.

I screamed Louder and Louder until my lungs hurt and I couldn't even hear the sounds of the snow mobiles or the guard dog's racing towards me. I screamed until I felt the first set of teeth rip into my thigh then I fell sobbing to the ground while the dogs mauled and the soldiers kicked. Mercifully I passed out.

Because I passed out I didn't see the three small figure's race towards the group of men and dogs standing around my broken body laughing and smiling and thanking god that at least they stopped one of those fucking kids from escaping. 'Maybe Deck won't transfer us after all, maybe he'll just dock out pay' was the consensus of the guards whose fear of the freaks downstairs was only trumped by their fear of the colonel.

I think Zack was maybe a little insulted that the men trained to guard us were so poorly trained. After all there they were standing close together, with no sentries or surveillance of any kind. Hell they didn't even notice when the dogs started to whine. It's amazing how animals instinctively know when they are going to die. Ben made the first move breaking the C.O.'s neck before he'd even had time to feel the cool touch of his fingers wrap around his head. Zack took out the next two in quick succession. Bullets from the gun that had killed Eva hitting two men between the eyes. Zane scared off the dogs.

Even now I smile at how Zane could kill a grown man without a second thought should he be trying to hurt one of his sisters but he couldn't kill a dog.

I don't remember Zack slinging me over his twelve year old shoulder or Ben tying up the most serious gashes in my flesh with an old pair of slashed up socks Zane found in the back of the pick up he stole in the first town we came across. I don't remember the look of fear of Zack's face when he saw that the world was full of enemy strangers or when after two weeks I still hadn't woken up.

I can't remember a time where I haven't loved Zack. Back at Manticore he was always calm, collected, in control, he never let anyone see his weaknesses. He was always the first one of us on the battle field and the last on to leave it. He loved us, protected us, died for us. I guess I always knew that one day Zack wouldn't call to check up on me. That he wouldn't drop by out of the blue just to see that I was alright. I always knew he loved Max best…. But a part of me hoped that he'd realise that I was the girl for him. Wasn't I the only one he let bandage him up after he'd had the shit shot out of him after rescuing one of the others from some trouble they'd gotten themselves into. Wasn't it my bed he had crawled into at night back at Manticore?

It wasn't like I didn't want to go outside and party, to get my drink on and go home with some stranger. But I didn't because Zack said it was dangerous out there for us and especially dangerous for me.

Zack told me I was beautiful once. I knew he was lying I was nothing compared to the exotic beauties Manticore had created in Max, Tinga or Jace. I didn't have Syl's smile or Vada's green eyes. Even before the escape I had known I was only barely mediocre. Still it was sweet of him to make me feel better.

The others never saw him quite like I did. They thought he was harsh, that to him we were just an obligation. But he was different around me. I guess it was because he knew I could never really tell him to fuck off and jump onto the next train out of town. It's Kinda hard to train jump when you can't walk without crutches.

I remember one time I was about fifteen and there was this fair in town. I sat at my window in this shitty apartment Zack had found for me after he'd threatened the landlord with death or whatever, and watching the kids walk past. There were little kids with there parents and teenagers hoping that the fair would supply some good making out spots, and wishing I could go too. Wishing that someone would look at me like that boy looked at her or make me smile like that girl did when she won a prize at the ring toss.

I was so enthralled that I didn't even notice he was there until I felt his hand on my shoulder. And then I was crying because it wasn't okay that I was crippled and he wasn't. I wasn't okay that Max could run and I couldn't that Syl had gone skydiving and that Zane had a dog. I cried because I wanted to go home to Manticore and let them fix me. I cried because Zack was hugging me so tight that I could barely breathe and yet I couldn't bare it if he let me go. I cried and Zack cried with me.

From that day on Zack called every night to make sure I was still there. He visits were longer than usual and they came around more often. I knew that it was for me that he feared most. Loosing me would mean giving up on the dream that outside was better.

Loosing me would mean he was wrong.

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