Cokaholics Anonymous

A fan fiction by Kate-chan 91

Disclaimer: Arthur, Buster, and other Arthur characters have been created and copyrighted by Marc Brown, not yours truly. I also do not own the rights to any soft drink brands that are both mentioned and parodied in this fanfic.

Kate-chan 91's tidbits (A/N): TWENTIETH FANFIC! WOO!

(Ahem…) Yep, believe it or not, I've been a member of this little site for a little over a year. To commemorate this, I've decided that it is time for me to revise and release the sequel to my first (published) fanfic, Arthur and the Game with Coke! While I hope you do enjoy it, I am aware that you are entitled to your opinion. Because of this, you have the option of giving me a CONSTRUCTIVE flame if you want. Either way, you will still earn toast.

Enjoy!

0000

It was Thursday night and many people gathered to the Elwood City community center with the intent of participating in an array of activities. Some decided to go to the Chinese cooking class. Several others made the decision ceramics class was the way to go. And others still came with the intent of learning basic Spanish. However, this story is not about those people- it's about the men, women and children who have realized that they have a drinking problem. Instead of alcohol, however, the beverages in question are soft drinks.

This is a somewhat typical meeting of Cokaholics Anonymous.

0000

A throng of people sat in chairs, which were set in a circle formation. In the center of this circle was the happy leader, Mister Franks.

"Good evening everyone!" Mister Franks said. "How is everyone today?"

"Good," an unenthusiastic crowd responded in unison.

"Excellent! Now let's recite our pledge!"

Before they recited even a syllable of the pledge, however, a teenaged boy in a black and red striped shirt raised his hand.

"Yes, Tom?" Mister Franks said.

"Mister Franks," said Tom, "our 'pledge' is nothing but a direct copy of AA's pledge. May we please skip saying it until we come up with a more original one?"

Mister Franks sighed and looked at the boy. "Fine, you win," he said. "In the meantime, though… let's continue with our little circle time! Miss Woods, you're up first!"

The old woman got up from her seat and cleared her throat. "I am Miss Woods-"

"Hello, Miss Woods." The others replied.

"-And I have a drinking problem. I have had it since I was a little girl, back when I didn't realize cola would make me not only very hyper but also quite… destructive. I knew that I had to turn my life around when I drank five six packs and wound up almost burning my house down. As it turns out, I had bumped a table which had a lit candle on it. Since I came to this program, however, I have been off soft drinks of all kinds for over a week."

Everyone clapped as she sat back down.

"Arthur, Buster, you two are next!" Mister Franks said to the two boys.

Arthur and Buster got up from their seats and waited for everyone to get quiet.

"I am Arthur-"

"-And I'm Buster-"

"Hello, Arthur and Buster."

"And we have a drinking problem," Arthur said.

Buster continued with, "We did not realize that we had a problem until we found a Bionic Bunny drinking game on the internet and tried to replace the beer with soda. However, we wound up getting so into the game that we became extremely sugar high."

"While we don't remember what happened afterwards," Arthur continued, "My mom and dad told us that they found us in the bathroom suffering from sugar shock. When they gave us our options, we chose this place because it was either this or cleaning up our mess. We have now been clean for about two weeks since we came here."

"Nice success story, kids!" the leader declared as everyone else clapped. He was just about to call on Tom when the door opened; a man with a huge case of various soft drink brands came into the room.

"Is this 'The Wonderful World of Cooking with Brand Names' class?" The man asked.

"No, this is Cokaholics Anonymous," Mister Franks said as he attempted to block the people he was trying to help.

"Oh really? Sorry about that… Hey, by the way, is this really a rehab thingy for crack addicts?" the man asked as he looked at the desperate looking people.

Mister Franks seemed annoyed by this. "NO," he replied, "this is rehab for people that have become so addicted to your sweetened carbonated water swill that they've ruined their lives!"

"Really? 'Never thought about it that way… Well, see you soon!"

When the man left the room, however, the crowd pushed Mister Franks aside and ran after him.

"NOOOOOO!" Mister Franks yelled. "My efforts are about to go up in smoke again!"

As he tried to apprehend the people, however, they had successfully managed to attack the poor man; they bound and gagged him and started to drink the bubbly booty.

"Ah, shit, not again!" Mister Franks cursed as he witnessed everyone drinking can by can. Not long afterwards, some got so sick that they started to vomit all over the floor; others went to the bathroom suffering from sugar shock.

Mister Franks sighed as he realized that he would have to start all over again with not only most of his members but also everyone next week. "Okay, class is dismissed for the week… Make sure it's a good one…" He sadly said.

And with that, everyone slowly recovered and went home for the week, not so eagerly awaiting what the next meeting of Cokaholics Anonymous was to bring.

THE END

A/N: So… did you have a fun time? Please do comment! Whether you don't review or not, however, I wish you a great day and summer!

Ja Ne!

Kate-chan 91