Humble Beginings

Tskk! Tskk! Tskk!

The horrible reminder that my sweet dreams were over clanged its way through the silence of my bedroom. I grimaced as I felt the beautiful lull of sleep flee from my body and groggily rolled over to reach the decrepit monkey cymbal alarm clock that lied atop my night stand. After a few futile attempts of trying to find the goddamn snooze button, I finally got pissed and chucked the stupid shit at the furthest wall.

Why the hell did you even set that thing up?

It was Saturday and Saturdays were my chill days. I gave a frustrated huff and made my way to my bathroom. After assessing to the necessities I went to take a seat at the vanity nestled aside my bedroom door. As I sat with my reflection I couldn't shake the feeling that I was forgetting something. This wasn't necessarily a common feeling for me, so it was really fucking bugging me.

Was today the bank job dad was talking about?

Well I wasn't gonna get anywhere with Toonz asking me questions that I didn't know the answer to.

Time to have a word with daddy dearest.

I had to look reasonable before I walked out there though, teasing the henchmen was always fun. I tied a black bandana around my head, separating my lengthy red bangs from the rest of my hair. I painted the usual thick black wings onto my eyelids and covered my lips in blood maroon lipstick.

After I placed my black 7/8 gauges into my ears, I reached for my black and grey checkered pajama pants. After I settled on a loose midnight off-the-shoulder long sleeve, I made sure my belly ring was clearly visible along with the roses and playing cards that were tatted along my left side. Finally pleased with my appearance I began the journey to father's study.

As I made my way down the rickety steps of the old warehouse we called home, I could hear and smell bacon cooking. My stomach began to ache for some Ms. Piggy so I settled on getting something to eat before speaking to dad. The moment I reached the living room Harley leapt over the kitchen counter and tackled me into a bear hug. I let out an OOF! as we flew backwards onto the old couch.

"Motheroffffuckk! Harley you could have just fucking said good morning!" I shouted breathlessly as she finally released me and helped me to my feet. She had that goofy ass smile slapped across her face which I figured was due to her and dad's mindless shagging last night.

Christ it sounded like 40 wolves being shot down in a novelty shop. I let out an internal shiver and placed my attention back towards the bubbly clown in front of me.

"I'm sorry Toni baby but how can you expect me to be so calm on such a special day!?" She giggled madly and led (basically dragged ) me over to the kitchen and placed a large saucer filled with strawberry and cream pancakes, bacon and eggs in front of me, along side a tall glass of orange juice. I was skeptical against this random act of kindness...but bacon is bacon..

"Sooo...what's all this about?" I asked as I chewed on the crispy piece of pork. Harley looked at me as if I backhanded Mister J.

"Oh my god.. You really don't know what today is do you?" Her voice shocked and stunned. This is starting to become irritating...

"Umm, no I don't. That's why I asked you the damn question Harl." I spat through my teeth.

This woman's idiocy holds no boundaries... Can we dip before I choke her out like last time?

I grabbed my plate and headed to the large wooden door located in the far back of the living space.

"You know what, I'll just figure it out myself since I'm getting nothing but stupid questions!" I shouted over my shoulder hastily. Harley had whined a response but I walked away swiftly to escape the ditzy blonde and her annoying voice.

Once I reached the entrance, I rapped lightly on the old study door and waited to be called in as usual. After a few seconds of silence a curt "Come in." muffled its way through the thick oak wood. I slowly entered and closed the door behind softly behind me. He didn't really acknowledge my presence until the scent of my still steaming breakfast permeated the air. The moment it did, he raised his head painstakingly slow with a longgg smirk rounded about his white face.

"Looks like Harley didn't screw up breakfast this time." He said with a raised eyebrow. I grinned and placed the plate at the far end of his desk, purposely avoiding the blueprints. Last time I fucked up like that he knocked some sense into me so hard, Toonz couldn't talk for a week!

As my father ate and scribbled away I couldn't help but let my mind wander on the mentally unstable man. All of Gotham, including most of the Rogues gallery, were completely scared of him. A psychopathic homicidal clown prince of crime who had caused more deaths than the population of this city. Everyone saw this man as a deviant to society, but I saw him as my daddy..

Most people would have ran for the hills at the fact that they were the spawn of the Joker but I didn't seem to mind. This was my father whom I loved and adored.

I was broken out of my thoughts by a wad of paper bouncing off my forehead. Jolted, I looked upwards to see dad's annoyed expression boring into me.

"My bad, Toonz was just commenting on how dapper you look this morning." I gave him my most sincere smile but he sneered at the obvious lie.

Fuck, how does he always know when we're bullshitting him!?

"Well tell her to shut it the fuck up while I'm talking or I'll just have to saw into that pretty little skull of yours and have a very serious conversation with that annoying parasite..." His voice menaced in its usual harsh dark soulless tone.

I could do nothing but solemnly nod and chew at my bottom lip.

...I fucking hate it when he does that..

I peeked at him from beneath my lowered lashes. My father sneered -obviously because he's pissed the fuck off- and ran one large alabaster hand through his green waves.

"As I was saying..." he hissed before his whole demeanor did a full 180. "What time do you want to go shopping?"

"Shopping?"

Shopping? Why the motherfuck are we going shopping? If someone doesn't fill us into the loop right now, I promise, there will be blood! Tooney was loosing her patience and before I could stop her, she dragged me into the back of our mind and took lead.

"What the fuck is it with today!? First that piece of shit alarm clock that doesn't have a stupid snooze button, then Harley attacks us with her happy ass and now shopping!? If someone doesn't give us answers pronto im'a go postal!" Her voice was so piercing loud on the inside. It made me cower even further back into my psyche to escape the deafening shrieks.

He looked at her with a mixture of anger, confusion and amusement pulling at his face. I quickly gained some control back and folded my arms across my chest and bit my lip to help restrain Toonz' urge to cuss him out any further. Noticing this, his grin got even wider as he stood up and began making his way over to me.

"Why Marie Antoinette Napier, I am shocked!" He placed a gloved hand to his chest in mocked suprise. "I thought you've been dying for this day to show its face so you two could have that ridiculous party you've been scrambling about in preparation for-"

"HOLY SHIT IT'S OUR BIRTHDAY!" I shot up so fast that I sent the chair I was settled on clear across the room. Daddy let out a cackling laugh, one hand on his painted face while the other clutched at his stomach.

How the fuck did we forget?

Because we do wayyy to many drugs.

I stifled a laugh and pondered on the news. Toonz and I had been taking turns ran-sacking Gotham and its civilians for the last four months just so we could have our own personal spending money for the day. I'm most positive that $25,583 is gonna do us plenty of good. I wondered if Rose, Eric and Jackson were already on their way over? Dad had silently crept behind me and pulled a medium black box from his purple coat pocket as he closed the small distance between us. I turned and noticed the change in his eyes, suddenly soft and caring.

"Happy eighteenth birthday my babygirl." I could feel my cheeks flush at the typical nickname.

He handed me the gift and coaxed me to open it up. I nervously lifted the top of the case; you can never be too careful with the world's greatest trickster as your father.

Inside the box was the combination to dad's "fun-time funds" safe, located in his bedroom beneath the floorboards. There were also keys to a 1970 Bentley T Coupe. No fucking way in hell.. My voice mirrored Tooney's words, mine slightly trembling from the excitement. Daddy took my hand and led me out to the front of the warehouse where, waiting for me, was the all black Bentley of my dreams. Chrome rims and tinted windows like we've always wanted. I squealed and threw myself into him, wrapping my arms around his neck and peppering him with kisses all over his cheek.

"I know, I know! Im like the coolest dad ever aren't I?" He playfully asked as he held on tight. This can NOT get any better!

At that moment I saw Chuckles, one of our longtime henches, open up the back door of my new whip and out poured my crew of psychotic friends.

First was a striking red head, her hair falling in cascades of deep maroon down her back. Rosaline 'Rosie' Isley, daughter of the infamous Poison Ivy. She was just as striking as her mother with her seductive cherub face and deep emerald eyes. We were practically sisters since Harls and Ivy were so close. She was charming and sweet, just like her name, but hurt her babies and she'd make sure you died with a thousand thorns stuck up your ass.

Following her out was Eric Nigma, son of the Riddler. He was a ginger just like dear old dad and thick prescription Ray-Bands covered his face. He was a whiz at hacking and solving brain scrambling puzzles. And although he didn't look threatening, with his freckled face and hipster fashion, he was still pretty twisted. He's been recognized widely for his Saw inspired death traps.

Lastly, there was Jackson Crane, son of Scarecrow. He was one dark son of a bitch and I loved it. Despite our father's constant bickering we became great friends. He had midnight locks that fell to his shoulders, his bangs often blocking his strikingly hazel eyes. He had learned how to improve his father's signature fear serum into many different forms. Some blind you, others cause schizophrenia but regardless, the result is you clawing your eyes out in desperate attempt to make the horrors cease.

As the trio made their way over to me I couldn't help but giggle. Rose had decorated everyone's hair with daisies and while they walked she made it rain rose petals and marigolds on our heads. Eric was cheesing like a dork while Jackson was pouting and muttering something rude underneath his breath. Rosie ignored him and ran over to decorate my hair too.

"Happy birthday my loves!" She congratulated as she finished tricking out my hair. "Oh we're so gonna get laid tonight. I bought Tooney a little something to make sure of it."

Toonz let out a whoo! as I blushed a bright taffy pink. I was totally okay with the fact that Rose and Toonz shagged, hell I was the one who hooked them up in the first place! But that didn't mean I wasn't a little embarrassed to be caught in the middle of it sometimes. Pulling me into a hug, she kissed my cheek lovingly and stepped aside so Eric could hand me a green metal sphere. It had a series of numbers covering it. Heh, typical Eric. He winked and whispered in my ear as he leant in for a hug.

"Happy birthday Looney Toon, hopefully that'll calm your nerves today."

Even through the alloy I could smell the faint aroma of marijuana. We gave eachother a knowing look and cracked up as he went inside to join Rose. As Jackson crept up he had his hands behind his tall, lean frame. His mischievous smirk proved infectious and caused me to grow on as well.

"Well, well, well.." He began as he flipped his hair to the side so he could peer down at me. His 6'1 height was a whole foot taller than mine, to which he often used to his advantage. "Little Toonz finally hit the big uno ocho. Nice for you to catch up slow poke." His voice slick and full of tease, as always.

Toonz flipped him off and swiftly yanked the bottle of black Absinthe from his back.

"Bite me nightlight!" She yelled playfully over my shoulder as we made a run for it back into the warehouse. As I left I could've sworn he whispered,

"Not until you beg for it.."