"You kissed ME, remember? I don't get this, I don't get you!" Jude screamed at Connor. Before either of them could even fully process what he had said, Connor was leaning in closer to Jude. Their first kiss had been slow and sweet; Connor slowly moving towards Jude's face, cupping his cheeks in his hand. This kiss, on the other hand was fast and rough and angry and passionate. It was one of those 'I need you now' kisses.
Neither of them wanted to let go. Connor could feel both of their bodies heating up as he pulled Jude closer to him. But Jude wouldn't settle for this. He wouldn't settle for Connor kissing him and then running off to be with Daria. He pushed Connor away.
Connor looked extremely hurt by this action, but not nearly as hurt as Jude. Jude went and sat down on his bed, cuddling his legs close to him.
"Jude.. did I, did I do something?" Connor asked shakily, walking towards him.
"Just go, Connor. I don't want it to be like this." Jude told him firmly. He was finally doing what he should've done a long time ago- standing up to Connor. He didn't want to be anyone's secret. He didn't deserve to be anyone's secret. It took enough time but he finally realized that he was worth so much more than to be hidden, to be ashamed of.
"Like what? I thought you liked me.." Connor said, getting angry. He was so close to tears, but being the person he was he could only express that through anger.
"I do. But I don't want to be your secret. I've already told you that. I thought you got it the first time. Guess not." Jude said. "I don't deserve to be played with like this. I know that after this, you'll just go run off with Daria, pretending this never happened. You'll forget all about this. But I don't want to forget this. And I wish you didn't either."
"I don't want to forget this, Jude." Connor said.
"What?" Jude looked him in the eye.
"I said I don't want to forget this." Connor went and sat down on Jude's bed next to him. "I like you, Jude. I'm just confused. And scared. And being with Daria just makes me feel normal. But I don't think that 'normal' is the way I like feeling. I like the feeling I get in my stomach when I'm with you. I like the way you look at me. I like the way you make me feel about myself. I like how I always feel safe when I'm with you. None of those feelings are normal. But what's anything good that ever came out of being normal, anyways?"
Connor moved closer to Jude and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy.
"So what's with Daria now?" Jude looked up at him.
"Nothing. I'll break up with her later. I'm not sure when, because I still need time to adjust to this, and I especially can't risk my dad finding out just yet; but Jude, I promise you that I won't leave you for her ever again." he told him.
Jude sighed. "Okay." he said, relaxing into Connor's arms.