This one (from When You Wish Upon a Hogg) was fun, growing out of that scene where the doped up boys are sleeping all over each other. One has to thank the original series for that; it was one of the better images that they ever treated us to.
This was also a chance to make fun of the original series, in which Hughie Hogg appears many times with the same henchmen at his side. Interestingly, his cohorts change names with every new episode they show up in...
It seems like there's something he's forgetting, but it's too perfect a morning to think about it. Friday fishing has never felt so good, even though he's pretty sure there's nothing biting and he might have lost track of his pole. In fact, he's not sure where the water is, but that doesn't matter. He's warm and safe against Luke, or it's maybe even the other way around, with Luke settling in close to him. No clouds, just shady leaves between them and the sun (probably, he can't focus too well on any one thing, it's blurry in the most pleasant way possible), warm but not hot, and even the dirt below them isn't too dirty. He smiles at the tickle of Luke's hair on his face and the perfect fit of Luke's cheek into his shoulder. There's a sky up there somewhere, blue as Luke's eyes, and Bo finds himself wondering what ever happened to that old denim jacket his cousin used to wear, the one that fit so snugly and brought out all of his best features. Somewhere around the time he's losing himself in the remnant smell of shampoo in Luke's hair, the world gets way too bright and loud, and it turns out he's in jail. At least Luke is still there – even if everything else is unwelcome, there's the warmth against his side where his cousin has just been.
Until he's not there anymore, he's sitting up and demanding answers that don't ever come. This leads to standing up and demanding answers, which is hardly more successful than the sitting was, but Luke's got to try it anyway. Insists that they have rights only to get ignored and leave them both wondering whether they really do. Boss seems as surprised as they are by this turn of events.
Somewhere around the time that they get left alone again, Bo's brain starts sorting through things, trying to figure out which of them are real. It's obvious that Luke isn't having this same struggle; he's already given in to the notion that this, right now, is reality.
"Feels like the day after the night before, don't it?" is the grim assessment by his grumpy cousin.
Maybe. Still, if Bo closes his eyes long enough, could be that it's still the night before.
"Well we ain't gonna find out nothing sitting in here," this comes out somewhere in the middle of all those attractive popping sounds Luke's neck makes when he twists it like that. "It sure was nice of them to leave us our fishing poles."
"Yeah." His mind's trying its damnedest to clear, but Bo's snatching at those last few clouds even as they make to escape. "What the heck are we gonna catch in here?"
"Keys." Damn. Seems like Luke is set on this as reality. Bo's still not convinced. That other thing was vastly superior to the taste of wet dog in his mouth and the slow rhythm of cacophony pounding in his head.
His cousin is infallible as ever, just as hung over as Bo is, but fishing keys off a hook – left-handed. Hell, if this has to be reality, they might as well be out from behind bars, so Bo helps him retrieve the damned things. (Would rather pull Luke down for a nap, but the firm way those shoulders are set pretty much brings that idea to a halt before it can be acted on.) Escaping is a good enough thing, the second best option they've got.
The keys in his hands are cold, the lock sticks like usual, the steps are hard under his feet and the thump in his head matches with every movement. Bo is just about to give in to the notion that he's fully awake now and that the comfort of earlier was just a dream. That is, until he and Luke watch a genie hustle out of Rosco's squad room. He grabs at Luke with every intention of pulling him back downstairs where at least there's a cot to curl up on and get back to where they recently were, but his stupid cousin wants to listen in on whatever's going on in Boss's office instead. They wind up outside, hanging on a window ledge and watching Hazzard's excuse for law enforcement toss money around. Genie aside, this seems pretty normal.
As do the guns pointed at their backs by Hughie Hogg's sidekicks, whatever their names are. Even Jesse showing up just in time to save his boys makes sense, along with Bo and Luke's ability to deck Ugly and Uglier just in time to vault into the back of Jesse's pickup. Yeah, seems like Luke's right again, and this here, them crawling over the speeding truck to crowd too tightly into the cab without even having to slow down, is reality. It's got to be, Luke's warm there against his side, just nowhere near as malleable as he was when they were wherever they were earlier. Besides, Daisy's on the other side, rubbing at his hair in an ultimately unwelcome way.
Yep, this has all the earmarks of a fairly normal day for him and Luke; that is until Jesse jumps over a train. In his pickup. Bo throws an arm across his eyes in an attempt to make a quick escape to the innocence of that other reality, the one with the safe sun shining down on him and Luke as they lie close together on the bank of Hazzard Pond. The truck makes the leap anyway, doesn't even feel real.
"Wow!" That kind of an outburst from Luke can't be right, either. Bo comes out of his crouch and tries one more time to escape this weird… dream, must be, but there's no hope. Luke's planning strategy that includes dynamite arrows. His cousin's firmly hooked in this here and now, and Bo doesn't want to go to that other place without him.
Dynamite arrows have a habit of solving so many of their problems, and today's no different. Before long Hughie's minion fools (what are their names? They've been in Hazzard with Hughie at least a few times before) are confessing to the stupidest plot Bo's ever heard (no wait, there have been some even stupider) and sitting remarkably still to let him and Luke tie their ankles together. The whole mess of them get back to town in time to get accused of stripping a genie (Bo's stopped trying to make sense of it, he's just staying with Luke now) and then more guns pointing at them. Hughie's on the run with Boss's fortune, while the two of them are being marched right back to that jail cell where all of this started. Except this time they're going to be put in there with Jesse, Boss and Rosco (this is no dream, it's a nightmare), when Daisy saves the day (nightmare). He wants to beg Luke to close his eyes now, just trust me cuz, there's a better place than this and we can get there if only you'll—
Of course not. They're in the General Lee, that part feels normal enough, except Luke's in the driver's seat and that's just wrong. Only thing worse is his cousin asking where the keys are when everyone knows that the Duke boys don't need keys to start a car. They get moving anyway, get shot at and Luke's making some snide comment about throwing darts, before they manage to lose What's-his-name and Whosiwhatsis at the Autobody and Painting Company.
Just when Bo's coming back to thinking that maybe this reality isn't so bad, Luke suggests cutting across Willow Creek as a shortcut. That's just… that can't be right. Willow Creek? That's way north of here isn't it? Way north.
The final straw is chasing Hughie Hogg up Kahn Road, past the end and halfway over the cliff. Well, Hughie's halfway over the cliff. He and Luke are smart enough to stop in time. Too dumb to stay in the car though.
No way in hell. This is not happening, he is not climbing into a swaying van to save anyone, ever (except Luke that is, but Luke's just fine, right here beside him in the settling dust and)—
He closes his eyes against the vertigo. Too damn high.
Falling, he's falling, even though he's nowhere near the cliff; falling and screaming and fighting against gravity.
Luke's there, soft against his shoulder, then his face. Luke's there and saying something about waking up, but that's the wrong idea, sleep is safer, eyes closed tight—
"Easy now." That's Luke's voice in his ear, Luke's hands on his shoulders, Luke's leg across both of his, Luke's heartbeat right there against Bo's ribs. "Easy."
His arms come up from where they've felt paralyzed against his sides, up and around that warm body, so close to his.
"You awake?" Luke's asking.
He's not sure, but he tries opening his eyes to figure it out. Brilliant blue squinting back at him, red lips, dark hair, plaid shirt. Sky above, dirt below, Hazzard Pond to his left and a pair of fishing poles laying over there, unused.
"Yeah," he says, holding Luke a little tighter. Doesn't want him disappearing or maybe turning into Hughie Hogg on him. "I think so."
"You all right?"
Good question. He rubs his hands up and down the solidness of the body that was obviously beside him a minute ago, and is now mostly on top of him. Feels pretty real, but then, so has much of what has happened today. Lets his eyes come back to focus on Luke's above him, lifts his head up a fraction, but not too far because Luke meets him halfway, gentle little press of lips on his, reassuring.
"Yeah," he answers, finally. "Fine now."
The leaves that are shielding them from the sun rustle slightly in the light breeze, Luke settles warm and soft against his side, smelling of that same shampoo he's used for twenty years, and even the dirt below them is not too dirty.
He's perfect, really.