The Five Stages of Grief

Denial and Isolation

Her parents would come back. Of that she was absolutely sure, and she repeated that to herself several times a day until it became her mantra. Her parents loved her, and she loved them. Why would you abandon someone you loved? Maybe some people would, but Temperance knew her parents and they wouldn't do that to her.

In those days, she had a good friend named Sarah, who asked painful questions about what would happen to Temperance if her parents never came back. Temperance didn't want to answer those questions, so she avoided Sarah until eventually, Sarah gave up trying. When counselors or Russ pushed her to talk to them, she didn't.

They were all lying. Her parents had been delayed for some reason, but were on their way home right now.

Anger

It was Christmas morning. Temperance opened her eyes slowly and reluctantly got out of bed. She used to love Christmas, but now it seemed like the most horrible holiday in the world. It was even worse than when she was six and found out that Santa wasn't real. She wished that she could fall asleep for a long time and skip today, skip everyone's stories of how amazing their Christmases were when she got back to school, miss the feel-good holiday movies and the decorations everywhere.

Since she was awake and not asleep, Temperance decided that she might as well eat breakfast. As she dragged herself to the kitchen, Temperance noticed that there were decorations all over. When she passed the living room, a tree was up with the ornaments and decorations they used every year. Peeking outside the window, she saw that lights were hanging up outside. Her parents were home! It didn't matter that their car wasn't in the driveway or that she hadn't heard them come home. She must have been in too deep of a sleep to hear them come in, and they must have hid their car in the garage to make the surprise even better.

She walked to their bedroom and expected to see them there. Her father would hug her tight and her mother would kiss her on the forehead and then start making pancakes, just like she did every Christmas.

But the room was empty, and looked exactly the same as it had for a while. By the time Russ had come out of his room with a hopeful smile on his face, Temperance was completely angry and threw a fit. Everything that she had been holding in came out, and she didn't seem to be able to control her words or actions.

A short time later, she was in the foster system.

Bargaining

Promises to herself were all she had left. Even though she knew it wasn't logical, she thought that maybe if she fulfilled enough of them, she would have her family back. Sometimes she thought to herself that she didn't want her family back, that she was better off without them hurting her like they had, but the anger eventually passed and left behind a feeling of emptiness inside her.

If I work hard in school and get all A's, maybe they'll come back.

If I am good for my foster family, maybe they'll help me find them.

If I apologize to Russ, maybe he'll let me live with him again.

Maybe. If.

Depression

By the time she was with the fifth family, she'd mostly stopped making promises. Temperance still worked hard at school, for that was second nature to her and it was one of the few things that she felt accomplishment for. This, unlike the others, was a reliable promise for a better future, for education gave her everything.

But when she wasn't working, she stopped living. Thinking about herself and her past was too hard, and mostly she felt unworthy of love. There must be something wrong with her, for all these things to happen to her. She barely ate or drank, lost a ton of weight, and felt empty when she wasn't studying.

She hated God. But most of all, she hated herself.

Acceptance

All these years later, Brennan finally stands at her mother's grave. She looks at the flowers that have just been placed at the foot of the grave, and thinks about how after all those years, it's nice to have peace. There are still many questions, especially about her father, but right now there is a little resolution, and Brennan is grateful for that.

Booth insists that she says something, and she says that her mother can't hear her. Eventually she gives in and starts to speak. Deep down she knows that it's the words that she isn't saying, that she isn't able to say, that really matter.

The ghosts of her past aren't gone and probably never will be, but this is a start in the right direction.