WARNING: OOC, Character Death, Shounen ai/yaoi
It's a stupid Story but if you want to, read on
...I guess it's over...
I knew it the moment he threw himself into my arms.
Lying next to him on our bed. The bed we shared for just a bit more than a whole year. He was quiet, didn't say a word, just lay there in my arms and held me. Maybe trying to comfort me, I don't know.
But still, I knew. I knew it.
"Gomen..."
He whispered nearly inaudible. I knew what he meant and still
I asked why? What he meant? Why he was sorry?
He stayed still for a long time. Me stroking his arm gently, trying to get myself of off the thought what he would be saying soon.
Now I whish I would have just fallen to sleep and he had been talking to my sleeping form, but I wasn't that lucky.
My heart was pounding and I believe he felt it. But it didn't seem to bother him, he said it anyway.
The word's I was so scared of that year over. Every day I thought of it that this could happen and now it was happening.
And I couldn't do anything against it.
Absolutely nothing.
My arms tightened around the body pressed to mine.
The head of my lover tucked under my chin, his red hair tickling my face. A moment I never wanted to end.
But like always in live,
nothing last's forever...
Especially the things you want to last that long...
I'm not a dreamer. I knew that this relationship wouldn't work out from the ferry start. Though I always tried to push those thoughts to the back of my mind. It sounds stupid but I hoped to become old with him. TO live my live with him. To be happy with him...
Well maybe I am a dreamer after all...
I don't know, really.
He started to talk and I heard his voice like it was in a dream.
"I want to end our relationship..."
Was the only thing he said. And although I knew it, it still hurt so damn deep. My heart seemed to burst. My whole existence became meaningless with those few word's.
My arms slid to his side. No energy in them to hold the person I loved so much. I didn't say anything.
I was too hurt to even speak a word without having to start to cry.
It hurt so much. So damn deep.
Six word's to end a whole year. To destroy a person.
To hurt him more like ever before...
The only thing I was able to say was a shaky
"Why?"
I couldn't understand it. Why did he say it? What did I do wrong?
He didn't move.
I started to cry, not able to hold back those painful tears, which burned in my eyes. They flew freely down my cheeks. The time was seeming to stand still. Although it was dark in the room I hid my face in the crook of his neck, trying to hide those tears, breathing in his smell, knowing that it would be the last time.
I felt like screaming at him. Asking him if those feeling's I thought we had shared wouldn't mean anything to him. The time we had spent together, the promises he had made to never leave me...
Why? What did I do wrong? How can he do that to me? He had promised so often!
I begged him, not to leave me, to not say that he didn't love me anymore, to not leave me alone again... alone like before.
He just held me tight telling me that it wasn't my fault.
"It's just that I don't feel that way for you anymore...
The feeling I have for you isn't love..."
He held me closer.
"I´m sorry..."
Did he think that that would make it better?
I was still crying though I had run out of word's to try to keep him by my side. His arms felt cold all of a sudden. My whole world was fading away and I just wanted to turn back time, to put it back to the point where I didn't need anyone with me. Where I had my live for my own.
The time where I didn't know love. Didn't need it.
To the point before he had made me addicted to that feeling of knowing that there was a person who was there to catch you if you fell.
Knowing that there was one person who loved you.
A person you could trust with your live and you yourself would even gladly give your own live for that person.
But in the end I never really knew if he had really felt the same...
Did he think the same way I did?
Had he felt the same way I had... Or had it all been a scheme of his..?
At this moment my mind snapped.
I stood up, the person who had held me tried to catch up with my movements but he couldn't. The redhead stayed there lying on the bed...
Our bed...
I started to walk. Not knowing where to head, the only thing I know is that I took my gun with me from the pile where my closes where.
Well...
Now I'm sitting on the frame of a window. A few buildings further than the one I had lived in. It's the window of the staircase in this high building, I know that at least.
As I look down onto the street I see cars drive along the street, they seem so busy and I have to crack an insane smile.
I let my gaze drift up into the sky and I see the full moon.
Ah, what a beautiful sight.
I feel the cool night breeze and I also feel the weight of the gun in my hand. I feel my mind looking over a vision.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two small girls come running down the stairs, screaming at each other.
The mother behind them is starting to lock the door.
Suddenly the two stop and look at a man lying in front of the open window.
"Mama is that man asleep?"
The younger one asks taking a few steps nearer to the figure.
The woman looked down to the children and her face pales.
"Jamie, let the man sleep! He must be very tired."
She tells he daughter and takes her hand the other girl looks a bit closer but she doesn't seem to see the pool of blood the black haired man is lying in.
"Sleep well Mister and don't catch a cold!"
She calls smiling and running after her mother.
"Sarah come on or we'll be to late for school again!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The vision ends and I look down at the street once more.
"Live will go on without you, if you die the world won't realize it.
And the only person who would have cared you just have lost..."
I set the weapon to my temple and sigh.
"Can't believe that I'm the fool again... I always tried to think that our love would never
End..."
I close my eyes.
"... I guess it's over..."
~~Owari~~
About unimportant stuff (In word's ME):
This end of the fic I wrote while listening to a song from Westlife (Stole the CD from my sister -_-')
I wrote this because of a loss I experienced shortly...
I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to write Furry for a while,
so if there's anyone out there who liked it, I'm really sorry but it'll probably take a while till I'll write a Crawford and Schu again...
It remembers me too much of my lover who broke up with me recently.
To be honest I wish I had the strength to do the same as Crawford.
I'll post the next Chapter of Furry when I wrote it, I promise...
Hope you'll stick to me till then!
Koi... Whish you'd come back, I miss you...
It's a stupid Story but if you want to, read on
...I guess it's over...
I knew it the moment he threw himself into my arms.
Lying next to him on our bed. The bed we shared for just a bit more than a whole year. He was quiet, didn't say a word, just lay there in my arms and held me. Maybe trying to comfort me, I don't know.
But still, I knew. I knew it.
"Gomen..."
He whispered nearly inaudible. I knew what he meant and still
I asked why? What he meant? Why he was sorry?
He stayed still for a long time. Me stroking his arm gently, trying to get myself of off the thought what he would be saying soon.
Now I whish I would have just fallen to sleep and he had been talking to my sleeping form, but I wasn't that lucky.
My heart was pounding and I believe he felt it. But it didn't seem to bother him, he said it anyway.
The word's I was so scared of that year over. Every day I thought of it that this could happen and now it was happening.
And I couldn't do anything against it.
Absolutely nothing.
My arms tightened around the body pressed to mine.
The head of my lover tucked under my chin, his red hair tickling my face. A moment I never wanted to end.
But like always in live,
nothing last's forever...
Especially the things you want to last that long...
I'm not a dreamer. I knew that this relationship wouldn't work out from the ferry start. Though I always tried to push those thoughts to the back of my mind. It sounds stupid but I hoped to become old with him. TO live my live with him. To be happy with him...
Well maybe I am a dreamer after all...
I don't know, really.
He started to talk and I heard his voice like it was in a dream.
"I want to end our relationship..."
Was the only thing he said. And although I knew it, it still hurt so damn deep. My heart seemed to burst. My whole existence became meaningless with those few word's.
My arms slid to his side. No energy in them to hold the person I loved so much. I didn't say anything.
I was too hurt to even speak a word without having to start to cry.
It hurt so much. So damn deep.
Six word's to end a whole year. To destroy a person.
To hurt him more like ever before...
The only thing I was able to say was a shaky
"Why?"
I couldn't understand it. Why did he say it? What did I do wrong?
He didn't move.
I started to cry, not able to hold back those painful tears, which burned in my eyes. They flew freely down my cheeks. The time was seeming to stand still. Although it was dark in the room I hid my face in the crook of his neck, trying to hide those tears, breathing in his smell, knowing that it would be the last time.
I felt like screaming at him. Asking him if those feeling's I thought we had shared wouldn't mean anything to him. The time we had spent together, the promises he had made to never leave me...
Why? What did I do wrong? How can he do that to me? He had promised so often!
I begged him, not to leave me, to not say that he didn't love me anymore, to not leave me alone again... alone like before.
He just held me tight telling me that it wasn't my fault.
"It's just that I don't feel that way for you anymore...
The feeling I have for you isn't love..."
He held me closer.
"I´m sorry..."
Did he think that that would make it better?
I was still crying though I had run out of word's to try to keep him by my side. His arms felt cold all of a sudden. My whole world was fading away and I just wanted to turn back time, to put it back to the point where I didn't need anyone with me. Where I had my live for my own.
The time where I didn't know love. Didn't need it.
To the point before he had made me addicted to that feeling of knowing that there was a person who was there to catch you if you fell.
Knowing that there was one person who loved you.
A person you could trust with your live and you yourself would even gladly give your own live for that person.
But in the end I never really knew if he had really felt the same...
Did he think the same way I did?
Had he felt the same way I had... Or had it all been a scheme of his..?
At this moment my mind snapped.
I stood up, the person who had held me tried to catch up with my movements but he couldn't. The redhead stayed there lying on the bed...
Our bed...
I started to walk. Not knowing where to head, the only thing I know is that I took my gun with me from the pile where my closes where.
Well...
Now I'm sitting on the frame of a window. A few buildings further than the one I had lived in. It's the window of the staircase in this high building, I know that at least.
As I look down onto the street I see cars drive along the street, they seem so busy and I have to crack an insane smile.
I let my gaze drift up into the sky and I see the full moon.
Ah, what a beautiful sight.
I feel the cool night breeze and I also feel the weight of the gun in my hand. I feel my mind looking over a vision.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two small girls come running down the stairs, screaming at each other.
The mother behind them is starting to lock the door.
Suddenly the two stop and look at a man lying in front of the open window.
"Mama is that man asleep?"
The younger one asks taking a few steps nearer to the figure.
The woman looked down to the children and her face pales.
"Jamie, let the man sleep! He must be very tired."
She tells he daughter and takes her hand the other girl looks a bit closer but she doesn't seem to see the pool of blood the black haired man is lying in.
"Sleep well Mister and don't catch a cold!"
She calls smiling and running after her mother.
"Sarah come on or we'll be to late for school again!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The vision ends and I look down at the street once more.
"Live will go on without you, if you die the world won't realize it.
And the only person who would have cared you just have lost..."
I set the weapon to my temple and sigh.
"Can't believe that I'm the fool again... I always tried to think that our love would never
End..."
I close my eyes.
"... I guess it's over..."
~~Owari~~
About unimportant stuff (In word's ME):
This end of the fic I wrote while listening to a song from Westlife (Stole the CD from my sister -_-')
I wrote this because of a loss I experienced shortly...
I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to write Furry for a while,
so if there's anyone out there who liked it, I'm really sorry but it'll probably take a while till I'll write a Crawford and Schu again...
It remembers me too much of my lover who broke up with me recently.
To be honest I wish I had the strength to do the same as Crawford.
I'll post the next Chapter of Furry when I wrote it, I promise...
Hope you'll stick to me till then!
Koi... Whish you'd come back, I miss you...