Disclaimer: All props to Dan Schneider et al. for creating these boys. Oh, the things I could come up with if I really did own the boys...
Author's Note: First fic! I've been a lurker here for a few months and was working on a different, longer debut fic, but then I saw "Helen's Surgery" and, oh, I got IDEAS, and this little plot bunny wouldn't leave my head. Maybe I'll finish that other fic soon, but in the meanwhile, I give you this, which IMO remedies the tragic absence of fic based on one of the absolute smexiest scenarios the canon gives us...
"Ah, this is the life, my brotha." Drake had hardly been in Helen's swanky condo for a minute before he sank into the living room couch. "I cannot believe you actually talked Helen into letting you watch this place while she's in L.A." He laid back and propped up his feet.
"Hey, just because we don't always get along doesn't mean she doesn't trust me to take good care of her condo," Josh said, sitting the keys on the kitchen counter. Drake shot him a highly skeptical look. "Oh, alright," he confessed. "She only said yes when I told her it was your idea."
A self-satisfied smile crept across Drake's face. "What can I say? I can't help it I have that kind of power over the ladies." He grabbed the remote and turned on the plasma screen television. "Hey, grab me a Mountain Fizz while you're there."
"Drake! We can't just abuse our power as house-watchers," Josh said. He read the note on the counter and examined the container of hamster food that was left for him. "Besides, we've got things to do while we're here today." He glared at his stepbrother, but Drake stayed in his reclined position on the couch, having settled on a channel playing music videos. Josh walked over into the living room and grabbed the remote from him, clicking the power button. He stood between his brother and the television with his arms folded. "Now get up. We've got to feed Nubby, and you know I'm not--" Josh cleared his throat "--the best with small furry animals," he said, thinking back to the unfortunate camera incident with Megan's hamster.
"Lighten up, man," Drake protested. "We should at least get to enjoy it a little while we can." When he saw that Josh wasn't giving in, he sat up a little and shot him his best puppydog eyes. He patted at the couch cushion. "Come on, Joshie?"
Both of them knew Josh was never one to resist Drake's pouty face. "Fine. But just for a little while, and then we take care of the to-do list, because I have to be at work in a couple of hours." Drake smiled and moved his feet as Josh sat down, then propped them back up across his stepbrother's lap.
"Man, I can't believe Helen's gonna be on TV," Drake said. He stretched his arms and scooted down on the couch a little closer to Josh.
"I know." Josh rested his arms on his brother's legs. His boss was in Los Angeles with the rest of the former Happy Times cast, filming a prime-time reunion special. "It's awesome. I wonder if she'll do her catchphrase again."
"That is not my job," Drake mimicked in a high-pitched voice. He doubled over in laughter at his own impersonation. "Gets you every time," he said, clutching his stomach as he giggled. "Not my job!"
His brother's laughter was contagious, and soon Josh joined in on the silliness. "That is not my job," he repeated in the craziest voice he could muster between laughs.
Drake stopped laughing and stared at him. "Dude, you don't do it right."
Josh rolled his eyes. "You and Helen both," he said.
Having calmed back down, Drake leaned his head back on the arm of the couch. Suddenly his eyes lit up with a mischievous glint. "Wanna get in the hot tub?"
Josh looked down at his stepbrother. "I don't think that's a good idea after all the trouble you caused in there last time."
"Oh come on, what would it hurt? And it's not like Helen's gonna walk in on us surrounded by a tubful of hot girls this time," he reasoned. "Don't make me pull out the puppydog eyes again..."
"I don't know," Josh said. "Why don't we play some Groove Machine instead?"
"Okay..." Drake said, sitting up. "But if I win--which I will, of course--it's hot tub time."
Josh got up and turned the television back on. "Oh no you don't," he said, as he started setting up the game. "Your little dance moves are no match for my Groove Machine skills."
Drake scoffed. "Whatever. You can cry about how badly I kicked your butt while we're sitting in the hot tub." He stepped up onto the game mat, followed by Josh.
"No way," Josh taunted. "You are going down, brotha!"
"Whatever you say, brotha." Drake smiled at him evilly. "Ready? Okay... go!" The brothers' feet sprung to action as a bevy of colored arrows appeared on the screen. Throughout the song, the boys swapped the lead, staying ever so close to each other in points. Drake was just a little behind as he realized the song was nearing its end, and he decided it was time for action if this was all going to turn out the way he wanted.
"You know, I heard on the news the other day that Oprah might be quitting her show," he said casually.
"WHAT?" Josh stopped dead in his tracks on his mat, while his brother continued moving his feet in time with the onslaught of arrows.
"Yep," he continued. "I think she's moving to a desert island somewhere. Never wants to be seen by the public again."
Drake suppressed a laugh as he saw the look of sheer desperation and terror on his stepbrother's face. "Say it isn't so!" Josh wailed.
"It's not." Drake smirked. "But dude, you'd better get moving, you're falling behind and the song's almost over." Just then, the buzzer sounded, announcing the end of the round. "What do you know? Looks like I win after all." He stepped off the mat and walked away from his flabbergasted brother. "Hello, hot tub," he said, rubbing his hands together.
"B-but you cheated!"
"Hey, we agreed that if I beat you, we'd get in the hot tub, right?" Drake pulled his t-shirt over his head and tossed it on the back of the couch. "But you never said it mattered how I beat you."
"B-but--that's not fair--you tricked me! You said that--and Oprah--she was--oh NO--and I couldn't--" Drake grinned at his brother's protests, and Josh finally sighed. "Oh, alright. But just for a few minutes, and then we feed Nubby, okay?" Drake half-nodded as he fidgeted with his belt buckle, and Josh started to pull off his hoodie. Then he stopped for a moment, realizing something. "Dude, how are we gonna get in the hot tub? We don't have swim trunks."
Drake's expression changed from a triumphant grin to a devilish smile. He pulled his belt out of the loops and discarded it on the floor, then walked toward Josh. He tugged mischievously at the strings on his brother's grey-and-red hoodie, pulling him in toward him as he whispered, "I know."
All of a sudden things dawned on Josh. The Groove Machine bet, Drake's insistence on helping watch the condo with him, everything was highly calculated on his stepbrother's part. He returned the smile and hooked his fingers through Drake's now-empty belt loops. "I guess now I know why you were so anxious to get us in there, then?"
Drake grinned even wider as Josh tugged him in closer. His breath, which had begun to increase in speed already, blew across Josh's face. "Mmhmm," he said, before closing the small distance between their lips entirely.
Josh melted into the kiss as Drake's hands shot up to his neck, running his fingers through his dark curly hair. Josh's hands found the bare skin on Drake's back, already flushed and warm. Drake's lips moved against the taller boy's, parting to allow Josh's tongue to explore the roof of his mouth. The force of their tongues collided as the two muscles tangled with each other ferociously, not so much battling for dominance as desperately trying to fuse themselves as one. Drake clambered to press himself even tighter against Josh's body, tugging at the hem of his brother's hoodie. He broke the kiss for a second.
"Y'know, we're wearing entirely too many clothes if we're ever gonna get in the tub."
Josh leaned forward as Drake lifted the hoodie over his head, pinning his brother's legs between his and the back of the couch, then returned to the kiss with more enthusiasm than before. He ran his hand slowly down the smaller boy's chest, tracing his fingertips along the small trail of auburn hair below his navel until he reached the button of his jeans. With one hand still wrapped in Josh's hair, tugging gently at a handful, Drake slid the other hand down his collarbone and began pressing his thumb in circles around Josh's nipple. Josh gave an appreciative growl from his throat as he popped the button free, unzipping Drake's tight jeans and pulling them off his hips, breaking away long enough to allow Drake to slide them down and kick them off onto the floor. He thrust his hips against Drake's, causing Drake to moan loudly into his lips at the feel of the rough jean fabric against the thin boxers barely covering his erection. Drake returned his brother's favor, hurriedly tugging Josh's jeans down and off. He maneuvered his way out from between his stepbrother and the couch, tugging playfully on the waistband of Josh's boxers before starting up the steps to the hot tub.
"Better get in before it cools off," he said, winked, and tossed his boxers by the side of the tub. Josh followed suit and climbed in after his brother, adjusting to the warmth of the water as it mixed with the heat radiating off his own skin. Drake found a comfortable spot in the back corner of the tub, leaning back and stretching his arms up over the ledge.
Josh waded through the water and took a seat next to him, his eyes dark and pupils dilated. "So, where were we?"
Drake grinned. "I believe--" He began to walk his fingers up his brother's arm. "I was--" He scooted closer to Josh on the tub seat. "About to--" He leaned close, breathing against Josh's ear. "Get you all wet!" He lunged forward and knocked Josh fully into the water, pushing his shoulders down and dunking his head into the water.
Josh jerked spastically and came up, spraying water out of his mouth. "YOU!" He pushed the wet hair out of his eyes and glared at his brother. "Oh ho, don't think you're getting out of this one all dry and mighty!" Drake rolled his eyes at the awful pun and swerved as Josh reached out to grab him, but not quickly enough to escape him completely. With a flop, Josh splashed water all over himself and his brother.
Drake brought his hands up over his head in defense. "Hey!" He wagged his finger. "Watch the hair now."
"Oh, you better believe it, mister--" Josh lunged at him again, this time grabbing ahold of his chest and dunking both of them completely under the water. Drake flailed his limbs and slapped at his brother's back. The two boys commenced one of their famous wrestling matches, biting at shoulders and attempting headlocks amidst the tangle of arms and legs. Josh emerged victorious for a moment, pinning Drake against the back wall of the hot tub and holding down his wrists. Drake wriggled slightly in an attempt to free himself, but soon gave up, admitting defeat. Josh looked down at his brother, proud of his victory, as both boys gasped for breath. "Looks like I win this time," Josh said smugly, before leaning in to cover Drake's lips with his own.
Drake maneuvered himself to flip their positions, climbing onto Josh's lap as he kissed back ferociously. Josh ran his hands down Drake's back, leaving trails of water on the freckled skin in the wake of his fingers' path. Drake desperately tried to grind his re-emerging erection against Josh's, but Josh gripped Drake's hips firmly. Drake whimpered, pushing against Josh's hands. "C'mon, Joshie," he mumbled into Josh's mouth. Josh shook his head slyly. Then he scooted them over to the left just a bit, and Drake forgot his disappointment entirely as he felt the hot tub jet shooting up between Josh's legs toward him.
Josh pulled Drake into a straddling position for easier access. Drake moaned and bit down on Josh's lower lip as Josh guided his hips, running the pulsing stream of water along the underside of his erection, starting near the head and moving slowly down to the shaft and then back again. Drake felt his eyes roll into the back of his head as Josh moved his lips from his mouth to his jawline, then over to suck on his earlobe. He could tell Josh was getting pleasure from the positioning of the jet as he bucked his hips into Drake's thighs. Josh continued to rock his hips back and forth on the water stream. When he pulled him in even further than usual, causing the pulses to hit another sensitive area further back, Drake let out a muffled shout that was silenced as he pressed his lips back into his brother's. He pulled himself back and slid off of Josh's lap.
"C'mon," he gasped as he tried to slow his breathing. "Messy--let's--water--not--couch--" His words were a string of hardly-coherent syllables, but as usual, Josh had known what his brother was thinking before he even started. He touched the silver button on the side of the tub to turn off the jets, then stood and dragged his stepbrother out of the tub and over to the couch, pausing for a series of quick kisses on the way over. Then the two boys fell into a wet heap on the couch, Josh crawling on top of a very slippery Drake.
Drake pulled Josh in by his hair for a kiss as Josh slid his hands down the slickness on his brother's chest, tracing patterns in the water pooling near his navel. Josh looked down at the boy beneath; he was a sight to behold, with his lips pressed together and wet strands of hair hanging dark across his flushed forehead. He thrust his hips upward, sliding up to push Josh's hands closer to where he wanted and needed them to be, and Josh happily complied with his brother's silent request.
Drake already felt close to his edge by the time he felt Josh's hand grip around him tightly. He moaned Josh's name, followed by a few other words he would've been embarrassed to use around his parents, as he felt him squeeze and pull up from the base to the head, running his thumb across the top. The cooling water drops running down his length were like electricity shooting against his own heat. He could feel the sound start to close out of his ears as Josh ran a few more rough strokes up and down. He hitched a shallow breath and slammed Josh's lips back down to his, suppressing the shout coming out as his hips bucked into Josh's hand. Then fell backward onto the couch, completely losing it as he rode out the trail of sensory overload.
When he opened his eyes, Josh was grinning down at him, running his fingers through the watered-down mess on his stomach. He let his heart rate slow down a little before returning the smile.
"You're a bad house-watcher," he said, brushing the wet hair off his face. "You let the couch get all messy." A horrified look crept across Josh's face as he glanced down at the water-stained navy blue fabric. He opened his mouth to say something, but Drake didn't let him start in, covering it instead with his own and erasing all thoughts of irresponsibility and Helen's wrath from Josh's mind.
"So how long is Helen going to be in L.A.?" Drake asked a few minutes later after coming up for air.
"Until next weekend," Josh said, looking inquisitively at his stepbrother. "Why?"
When Drake flipped himself over top of a surprised Josh and began planting a trail of kisses down his collarbone, Josh recognized the mischievous look in his eyes from earlier. "Well then, it looks like we've got a lot more house-watching to do."
A/N 2: My goodness, this was fun to write. I've written two stories this quarter for my creative writing class that were pretty weighty subject matter, so doing something like this was such a welcome relief. Especially writing mischievous!Drake... because it's always fun when Drake uses his mischief to get his brother. And that happens a lot in my head. So there you have it... hottub!smex.