AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi everyone! This is my first ever attempt at fan fiction, although I have an almost 10 years long experience in reading tons of them. I honestly don't know if I will be able to write and publish the multi-chapter story I have in mind, but this first part has been rotting in my hard drive for what seems like forever now, so I thought that finally publishing it could be the courage boost I need to continue it. So it's finally here for you to read and chew on it! English is not my native language, so I'm already apologizing for it. And I'm putting an end to this god's forsaken long author's note with a big THANK YOU for the inspiration you gave me with all of your wonderful stories! LOL, J.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Simply borrowing a few pieces for a while. I don't own any of the original characters of the Twilight saga. Those belong to Stephanie Meyer (lucky woman) and I hope to succeed in treating them well, although I cannot assure you they won't be a little OOC. The not canon ones are obviously mine.
RATING: M, but really not more then T until later chapters.
HYBRID PERFECTION – Chapter 1
Forks, WA – Thursday, November, 15th 2012
Charlie's POV
My front door closes behind me with a soft click, the only welcome of an empty house. Like every evening in what seems like forever, I lose my holster and jacket, secure my gun and proceed to enter my living room. What I find there tonight nearly give me a heart attack. Right in front of me I see my beloved turned-vampire daughter, her impossibly gorgeous golden eyes looking right through me with a mix of happiness, worry and tiredness that make her look like a masterpiece of some gifted human sculpture. And clinging to my child's right hand there is my six years old granddaughter, who by the way looks more like a teenager, bouncing up and down in evident joy.
«Granddad!» – She screams, launching herself in my open arms, nearly killing me in the process.
«Oh! Easy, sweetheart, you need to keep in mind that you're like a brick wall for your granddad poor old human body!»
«I don't think you can be that old, you know? You have a nineteen years old daughter, after all.»
«My dear Bella, we all know how much you like to flatter yourself with your eternal youth, but I don't think that I can count it as a way of feeling younger, don't you think?» – I answer her, while opening my arms in a silent invitation for a proper greeting.
She comes to me grinning, but when I have her in my arms I immediately feel that something is very wrong. We've never been much physical to each other, although many things had changed in the last years, but right now she is hugging me like her life depends on it. I have a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.
«Bella, love, what's wrong?»
Instead of answering me, she starts to sob and tremble; I know that if she was still able to, she would have been crying. Hard. I look at Renesmee, who's now watching her mother with a terrified glance and silent tears lining her face.
«Sweetheart, what's wrong with mom? Is dad... okay?»
«Y…yes.»
The reply comes as an almost too low whisper, but it seems enough to make Bella react. She loosens our embrace a little, circling her distressed daughter with one arm, while the other rests lightly on my back. Then she looks straight in my eyes, with an expression so pained that makes my heart clench in response.
«Edward is ok… physically.»
I feel the question marks painted all over my face.
«We…» – She looks away from me, as if what she's about to say is really too much to being put into words. «We lost Jasper.»
Lost? How can he be lost? Sure she doesn't mean… It can't be.
«Lo…lost?»
«Dead. Jasper's dead.»
I feel like an idiot. I feel like suddenly I'm back being five years old and I can't grasp the meaning of what she is telling me. Dead. Jasper's dead. Vampire Jasper. Dead. Make it three years old.
«How can he be…?»
«Oh, dad!» – Her expression is a mix of understanding and quiet criticism. «We can't die, but we can be killed… You already know that.»
Silence. I really can't seem to find something sensible enough to say. My brain is in overload, full of images of the tall, lean, sunny-haired guy that seemed to be almost invisible among the others, for his unobtrusive presence, but always with a primary role, thanks to his amazing ability. One thought keeps forming in my mind: since the day I finally knew what my daughter and her new family really were, I followed my own path in order to cope with the enormity of it. But one thing I'll always remember, the feeling of having at last being able to understand why they always had seemed to me creatures of higher rank. Not only Carlisle, the amazing and charismatic doctor I had learned to respect years before everything started, but also his wife and his children, like Alice, Rosalie... and Jasper. They had this kind of aura surrounding them that couldn't be missed: beasts, assassins or soulless immortals, call them whatever you like, but you cannot deny that they are beings made of knowledge and life experience that can never be really understood by a mere mortal like me. And although I knew that killing a vampire is extremely difficult, but not impossible, somehow, inside of me, I have always refused this concept. I can't believe that a creature like Jasper can simply not exist anymore. I just can't. And maybe I don't want, either. I like to think that my Bella will live forever… Why wake me up with a reality of mortal dangers? The searching gaze of my daughter's eyes put me out of my internal monologue and I start to think of more practical things: like how can the family, the parents, the siblings, possibly be coping with a tragedy of this proportions. Oh God! Alice.
«Alice?» – I almost choke.
«She's… very far from being ok. They all are.» – Her eyes go unfocused for sometime, probably seeing things I can really start to imagine. "We're back to the forest house, here in Forks. Obviously we can't go public any time soon; we just need somewhere to hide, a place in which we feel safe. I… I really don't know what's gonna happen from now on."
«How long…?» – What's wrong with me and complete sentences, by the way?
«Almost 72 hours.»
I start to feel like the question marks will never leave my face.
«I… Listen, dad. I know you have questions and I'm gonna tell you what happened… As soon as I feel like it. Right now I just want to take Nessie to bed, she's really tired.»
«Sure, go ahead. You know where everything is.» – I look down a little to gaze into my granddaughter's eyes. There is so much sorrow in them I wish I could do something to erase her pain. Instead I just hug her with all I me, while whispering "Good night, princess" in her ear.
«Goodnight, grandpa.» – And with this soft reply, she takes her mother's hands and together, they begin to climb the stairs to the upper floor, as always at human speed, for my sake.
I follow them with my eyes and as soon as they disappear, I look around at the now empty room. I feel almost like awakening from a dream. A nightmare, more likely. This can't be happening. Without even looking, I let myself fall on the armchair, the shock draining from me in silent waves of tiredness I didn't expect. I can't really imagine the enormity of this event for my daughter's family. They've been together for decades, all of them. Jasper was a beloved husband, brother and son. Uncle, too, for my little princess. That's enough for any human family to be shattered to pieces. But a vampire can't have a heart attack. Or a fatal car crash. I don't think he died of an accidental, maybe even painless death. No way. How much unbearable pain are they all suffering right now, if even my heart is clenching at the thought of the gentle boy gone? Or maybe, in these years, I've come to care about them more than I thought myself willing and capable of. Thinking of that, only a few years ago, when I was told the truth, I was able to think of nothing other than the abnormality of it, or the danger in which my daughter and grand can occur. And now, those fears have come back, those dangers are real and they have taken sweet, silent, Jasper away.
I need a drink.
Bella's POV
I hear the "thud" of the liquor cabinet being closed and I consider that's really not a bad idea for my father to relax himself a little before having the inevitable conversation with me. Poor Charlie, I feel bad for coming into his house like this, plunging him in everything we're all going through, but Renesmee need him. I need him. My family is broken and I don't know what to do.
As I watch my daughter's prepare for the night, I can't help but notice that she is putting on once again the silly pajamas with wolf's paws on it that Jasper had given her for her sixth birthday, two months ago. She has been doing that all nights since the one we all came home after discovering Jasper's remains, along with those of the vampires that attacked him and that he managed to destroy before being... God! As always I feel like my heart is coming back to life only to clench in despair. I can't think of him that way. I try to only remember him as the brother I will always love deeply and miss like mad for all eternity, but sometimes even doing that is too hard.
«Mom» – I hear Renesmee's voice calling me and I turn towards her, finding that she's already in my old bed, waiting to be tucked in.
«I'm here, sweetheart. Are you ready to sleep?»
As I lean in to kiss her on the cheek, she puts her fingertips on my face and I feel the tingling sensation that always precedes the use of her gift on me. I'm plunged into the past, feeling the joy and playfulness coming in waves from my daughter's memory, as she remembers, and consequently shares with me, of being tickled restlessly in the grass by her uncle Jasper, on a sunny day in the secluded garden of our last home, under the protective and loving gazes of Alice and Jacob in the background. I immediately feel my eyes filling with tears of venom that won't never be shed.
«I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry.» – comes Renesmee's trembling voice.
«I know, love, I know. I want to remember, too. It's just.. hard sometimes, you know?» – and with that I take her in my arms and start dropping kiss after kiss on her bronze, curly hair.
«Mom, can I tell you something?»
«Of course, darling! You know you can tell me anything.» – I look at her hoping to convey also with my eyes that I really mean that.
«Do you remember last year when we went back to La Push for grandpa Billy's funeral?»
«Of course. What about it?»
«I remember that I had trouble at first to believe that he simply didn't exist anymore, but then, all of sudden, I felt it, all around me. I knew that he was gone and that he has left me his love and all the memories of our time together. But...»
«But...?» – I encourage her to continue.
«But with uncle Jasper it's not happening. I don't feel him really gone. It's like... it's like a part of me believes that he's coming back, someday.»
«Oh, sweetheart! I know it's painful to accept it. It will takes some more time.» – once again I pull her in what I hope is a comforting embrace, kiss both her cheeks and her forehead. When I finally put her down and tuck her in, I feel her gaze on me like she wanted to say something else.
But she didn't. – «Goodnight mom.»
«Goodnight princess, I love you.»
«Love you too.»
In an instant I'm out of the room, turning off the light and closing the door.
As I go down the stairs, this time at vampire speed, I briefly think about what and how I'm gonna tell my father that I lost a brother, twenty-eight days ago, and that we don't know why.
Roughly in the same moment, but 2000 miles away..
I enter the cave with my macabre load still in my jaws and I put it down on the floor near the wall farthest from the entrance, as I lie down myself near it. It feels like I've been running for ages, even if it's been only three days. Not that I'm physically tired, obviously, but fed up? Very much. I hate hiding, it's not in my nature, but sometimes you have no choice. Like this time. Bloody hell, what a mess! Literally. I look at the huge bagI've just dropped and I feel my anxiety grow. What's ahead of me is one of those things you hope to never have to do in your entire life. Well, bad for me that I arrived too late to prevent all of this from happening, so now I have to face the consequences.
I stand up and change into my human form. I stretch myself, to fight the pain my muscles always make me endure, every time I phase. Then I untie from my leg the bundle of clothes I had stolen from a village the day before and I proceed to cover myself with undies, some worn jeans and a black tank top. You know, just in case I have some unexpected guests, it's not polite to welcome them in my birthday suite, is it?
Now, first thing first, prepare the puzzle pieces. And try not to feel sick, in the meantime. I open the bag and take out first the head, then the torso, the arms and finally, the legs. I've seen many dismembered body in my life, but only one of them was of someone I cared for and it was a long long time ago. I feel sick, looking at what should be the face of a living creature and that instead seems more like the piece of a broken statue. I need not to see him this way. Better think of this as one of the test he made me do during my training, focusing on the procedure and not on the result.
Think, think: I need to remember exactly what he taught me. I close my eyes and immerse myself in my most fond memories, the days right after my transformation, the lessons with him, the pride his words of approval gave me each and every time. His voice. Everything is gonna be useful one day. Today, I'm gonna teach you how the dismembered body of a vampire can be reconstituted. It could be a part of you that you need to reattach by yourself, or worst, the body of someone you care about, who are not gonna be able to take care of the reconstitution themselves. Someone I care about, that can't reattach his own body by himself. Check.
The pieces need to be not too little or smashed. Of course, I don't think I could do if they were as small as the ones from a 10000 pieces New York skyline jigsaw puzzle. And you need to love my ability of joking and making sarcastic comments about almost anything. If you want to love me, that is. What I was thinking? Oh yeah, the pieces. Not too smashed. Thank god, at least for that, I wasn't late. So that's another check.
The body of a vampire is functioning, but not living. There's nothing that flows in it. The venom fills what were blood vessels, but it's not circulating. It allows every muscle and tissue to do its function, but locally. That's why each part can be reattached, even the head. Ok, easy enough to understand, it's the doing part I'm worried about. You have to reposition each part in the exact position and keep it there long enough for it to stand there on its own. Understanding the when might be tricky.
The only organ with peripheral activity is the brain, which controls the nervous system, like perceptions and pain. Oh god. That means that if I reattach the head first, he's gonna feel the pain of every limbs missing and of every and each reattaching after that. On the other hand, if I reattach the limbs first, I won't have his nervous feedback about them being functioning like they should. I'm not sure there is an exact way for me to be certain that I'm doing it right, without actually feeling the limbs. And if I reattach them wrong? Oh, crap. I hate to make split decisions. Unimaginable pain or the risk of permanent damage to the body?
I close my eyes and take an unnecessary, long breath. How much I miss his presence, his mind, the sense of protection of having someone I trust to whom I can ask advices. The only other person I trusted enough (although never completely) was Marcus. Well, that's really useful: one of them is dead, the other is part of the royal family that I really need to avoid right now. So, no help this time.
Opening my eyes, I let myself observe his face, frozen in the painful expression of his last moment before being decapitated. My head is bombarded with images of him and his family, smiling, loving and being loved. I have to give him back to them in perfect shape. I need to. On the other hand, I remember perfectly the pain of losing a limb and having it reattached: second only to the transformation. And here I am, debating about waking him up while reattaching his head, with all his four limbs missing. I can't even begin to phantom the amount of pain. Damn it!.
I hate choices, especially bad ones. And this one is much, much worse than bad.
Back in Forks, Swan Residence
Bella's POV
«It was a day like any other, last Monday An ordinary evening, or so it seemed.»
«Everyone was at home, with the exception of Jasper: he was in Seattle, for a meeting with J. Jenks about some family documents. Since my changing, I've often taken Jasper's place in dealing with that kind of business, because..» – I laugh at the memory – «I used to say that he was too much terrifying for the little man's sake. But that day, he sensed that I was not in the mood to leave the comfort of the house, so he told me: "don't worry, I will behave myself" and he went in my place.»
«The atmosphere was playful in the living room, Emmett and Jacob were playing some game and being the usual clowns to Nessie's joy: her musical laughter filled the house. Edward was in our room, listening to some opera, Rosalie and Esme were in Esme's work room, looking through some magazines, Carlisle was in his study. And I was in Alice and Jasper's room, sprayed on the bed with my best friend, laughing like mad about nothing at all, as always.»
«Suddenly I saw the unmistakable signs of her going into a vision, but I didn't think too much of it: in the last years our life has been blissfully peaceful and her visions were almost always about trivial happenings in our everyday life. After a few seconds she came out of it and her eyes were panicked. Only a word left her mouth in a whisper: her husband's name.»
«I asked her what was wrong and before she could answer, Edward was at door, looking at Alice with the usual intensity of his silent conversations with his sister. She must have shown him the vision, because he told her, without any hesitation, that she should stay calm, that there was nothing to be worried about. And she looked at him, and said "I have a bad feeling about this".»
«In a blur the three of us left the room, going downstairs, to the living room, where a moment later the entire family was looking expectantly between Alice and Edward, worried that something bad could be happening. He told us what she had seen. Jasper, on his way to his car, having left Jenks' office, decided to follow a woman's voice he had heard calling for help, down a dark alley nearby.»
«I think that all of us had the same thought at the same moment: that part of town was indeed not the most secure and Jasper was a vampire, very few things in the world could be really dangerous for him. Probably there was a robbery going on and he would end up playing hero, without even breaking a sweat. But none of us had the chance to speak, because Alice went into an another vision and she did not come out of it relieved at all: she told us that she saw him deciding to enter an abandoned looking building. And after that, she wasn't able to see nothing more.»
«You see, the fact is that her visions are quite accurate regarding immediate decisions. Between him deciding to act and the act itself, how many seconds could have passed, ten, twenty? And we were at a 3 hours drive from Seattle. Whatever it was, it was happening in that moment and we were miles away. So, we acted like one: no planning, nor Carlisle taking the leading role and guiding the family through the usual discussion that always helped us outline to the best course of action, no nothing. We just left, all of us, materializing in our garage and dividing ourselves between Edward's Volvo and Carlisle's Mercedes and proceeded to break any speed limit between there and Seattle.»
«Carlisle's car guided us, Esme at his side, Rose and Emmett in the back sit. Edward followed, with Jacob in the passenger sit, while I was in the back, with Renesmee on my lap and Alice on my other side. She was.. catatonic. I had never seen her like that before. She was obviously not new to being the one with the burden of seeing terrible events in our future, but she had always remained strong to her belief in our ability of changing it. But not this time. She really felt that something terrible was happening to her soulmate and she just kept trying to see anything about his future, with so much intensity that I feared for her sanity. She hadn't breathed once since the last vision.»
«I really felt at loss like never before. We had to face countless dangerous situations in the past, many of which I never thought I would survive. But I've always being surrounded by the family strength and optimism. Not this time. There we were, all of us scared senseless of losing Jasper without even knowing how that could possibly happen. Truth is that we trust so blindly Alice clairvoyance that we couldn't find the strength to believe in what our rationality was telling us. And each of us was thinking of being in Alice place, fearing for our loved one.»
«The entire journey was like a unique stream of blurriness and fear. The only other sensation I remember is the warmness of Nessie's hand on my skin, as she projected in my mind dozens of scenes, all of them portraying the same thing: Jasper returning home, countless time in the past years. I just kept her tight in my arms, rocking her in what seemed a comforting routine for her sake, although it was for mine as well. My other hand was on Alice thigh, trying desperately to reassure myself that she was still there with us, since I felt like we were losing her too.»
«I don't remember perceiving the passing of time, but in the end, we stopped, and Alice disappeared from my side before I was even aware that we were in Seattle, near Jasper's parked blue Aston Martin. We have made in a little more than one hour what is considered to be a three hours drive. As one, we were all out on the cars, on the street, following Alice and Edward, that, through her visions and Jasper's scent, were following his steps. In a matter of seconds we found ourselves out of the door in front of which he had made the last choice we were aware of. And we all felt sick.»
«Jasper's scent was being covered by a sickening smell, that hit us more powerful as soon as we opened the door: burned vampire body. In a flash we were inside and the scene rendered all of us speechless: in the center of the otherwise empty basement, dying flames of what must have been a really big fire were feebly sparkling in the dark, in between a pileof gray ashes. And in a corner, the farthest from the entrance, the drained body of a human girl, whose face, frozen on the last expression of pain and terror, seemed to be looking at us. The scene was clear, a damn trap. After painful seconds of immobility, Alice made the few steps that divided us from the remains, falling to her knees almost as if human, and she let out a shrieking cry of Jasper's name.»
«That seemed to awaken the seven statues we had become into action. Carlisle reached the body of the woman, to check if she had really been drained by a vampire, while Edward, Emmett and Rosalie blurred out, to look for what we all hoped, a trail of Jasper's scent. I felt compelled to go to Alice's side almost immediately, but the sobbing from my daughter stopped me. As soon as I met her gaze, she told me with her eyes to go and not worry about her. I saw that Esme was already taking my place in comforting her granddaughter, while I cautiously reached my best friend, unsure of what to do to help her pain. She was too still, she scared me: I touched her shoulder, she flinched, I tried to embrace her and she started screaming and trashing. So I forced her between my arms, letting her punch me and kick me until she had no strength anymore and she started sobbing uncontrollably. I don't know how long I stayed there, I just remember looking into the ashes as if waiting for them to give me answers, all the while whispering like a broken record "I am here" and "I love you" in my sister's ears, not really knowing what else to say that wouldn't be a lie.»
As I make a pause, I finally open my eyes. I wasn't entirely aware of the trance-like situation I had put myself in. I had almost forgotten about my dad listening to me. I was reliving that day and I felt once again my eyes fill with tears; in times like this I do miss crying, it was.. a release, at least.
«I'm sorry I zoned out, dad.»
«Don't worry, kiddo. Take your time.» – I hear the sorrow in his voice and I'm slightly surprised. I know he must be really sorry for the pain Renesmee and I are feeling and he had always been really fond of Alice.. but maybe he cares more about my family than I give him credit for.
«That's it, really. We did confirm that the girl had been victim of someone of our kind, so it was obviously a trap. There must have been ashes of at least half a dozen vampires, maybe more. There was no way to.. find any proof about Jasper's body being among them. But his scent stopped there and none of us was able to find any trail, nothing that would hint to some movements on his part after entering that building. We did identify some unknown scents, all of them of vampires as well, and my siblings tried to follow them, but after a dozen of miles the trails disappeared. And Alice has not yet stopped trying to see Jasper in his visions, but..»
«Nothing?».
«Nothing.»
The silence was deafening. I can see clearly in my father face his efforts to find something to say. And then there is this glint in his eyes. I don't need Alice's or Edward's gifts to know that the police man in him is surfacing right now. And I'm glad he can really be himself around me.
«I'm sorry to ask you this, Bells, I certainly don't want to be insensible or anything, but are you guys sure there's really no way for him to be alive somewhere?»
«Don't worry, dad» – I smile – «I did expect from you this question, it's one we've made ourselves in the past days. I think that Carlisle is doing nothing else apart from speculating on this possibility. The fact is that too many things don't add up.» – I sigh. «There's no way for us not to leave a trail of our scent, unless we are dismembered and so obviously not able to move. So he should have been attacked, dismembered and then, what, saved? And taken, by whom? If it was a trap, and one intended for him, there must be someone very powerful behind it, so the chances of someone being there by accident to help him are very slim. And it's been three days already, so, where could he be? And, most important, how come that Alice can't see him? If he's alive and maybe incapacitated, he would at least make the decision of letting Alice see him: it's a procedure we've done many times to communicate with her from a distance. How can he be not dead, but not alive, somewhere? I really, really hope there's an answer I can't see, dad, but none of us can and the other explanation is so much simpler: I don't want to accept his death, but I really don't know what else to think!»
I start to sob again and the next moment my dad comes to sit on the sofa next to him, his arms around my shoulders in an awkward embrace, but comforting non the less. He doesn't speak, he just looks at me in the eyes, not knowing what to say.
«I'm sorry, Bells, I shouldn't have..»
«Nonsense, dad. I told you I wanted to hear what you had to say and I'm not taking it back. It's just, difficult, you know? But not thinking about it is not gonna make anything change.»
Minutes passed, before I speak again.
«Dad?»
«Yes, love?»
«There's any chance you could, tomorrow, like, not going to work?»
«Yeah, I think, I think so: I have no open cases on my desk, the guys can manage without me for a day, unless something happens. Why?»
«I wanted to ask you to keep Renesmee with you tomorrow, if you'd like.»
«Of course, I'd be happy to!»
«I have to ask you to take her to La Push, though. Jacob is there now, you know how upset he gets if he can't stay with her for too long. And she already misses him.»
«Yeah, I know how dependent on each other are, those two! I'll do it, I think Sue would like to have her there and the guys haven't seen her in a while now, they always ask me about her. I'm glad to have her. Do you need to go somewhere?»
«Not really. I.. I need to stay with my family, with Alice. When Nessie's around they all feel obliged to be careful with their moods and all, because they don't want to scare her. But, you know, with our instincts and all, we can get pretty upset and so Edward and I though better for her not to be around for a while. And I don't want to leave her, either, but I need to be with them right now.»
«I understand, perfectly. Don't worry, I'll take care of her. Promise.»
«I know you will. Thanks dad, for.. for everything.»
«Bella. There's nothing I want more than being a part of your and Nessie's lives and you're allowing me to, even if it's forbidden for you guys to tell about your secrets to humans. So, thank YOU.»
«You're welcome, dad. You know, I wouldn't have it any other way.»
And with that, I close my eyes and rest my head on Charlie's shoulder, enjoying the last moments of peace here, knowing very well that, where I'm going, I won't find none.
Oh crap! My English is really awful. Well, sorry again. And thanks for your time.. Bye!