A list of things Naruto Characters would never say
Asuma
- "I love you Kurenai! Will you marry me"
- "I quit smoking a month ago."
Choji
- "No thanks Shino. I'm not hungry"
- "I lost 300 pounds on the subway diet"
- "Oooooh no! Not another bite"
- "I only lost 100 pounds on the Atkins diet"
- "Does this outfit make me look fat?"
Gai
- "That's it! I'm shaving these ugly eyebrows."
Gaara
- "I hate sand! I think I'm allergic to it"
- "Temari and Kankuro, why don't we get along"
- "Hold on! There is sand in my eye"
- "Who needs a hug?"
Haku
- "I hate you Zabuza... shove it"
- "Wow! I make a pretty good looking girl... pass the lip stick please."
Hidan
- "Ahhh! I think I broke a nail"
- "I don't feel like praying today."
Hinata
- "I love you Neji"
- "Naruto! I hate your way of the ninja! It doesn't work on me!"
Ino
- "Who cares about looks"
- "Eww... I hate purple."
Itachi
- "I'm so weak. I wish I wasn't such a woman"
- "Violence isn't necessary; can't we all just get along"
- "I want my mommy"
- "I did NOT have incest with Sasuke"
- "I miss my family"
- "Hey Kisame, do you think pink nails would match me better"
- "Sasuke, no hug for a family member?"
Jiraiya
- "Oh man! Not another naked chick"
- "Do you guys think of anything besides women"
- "Ahh the fourth was not anything special"
- "That's right. I'm a virgin and proud of it"
- "I, Jiraiya, solemnly swear never to look at another boob"
- "I love big butts and I can not lie"
- "I've never looked at porn"
- "The internet is not for porn. It's for educational purposes"
- "You are young. You are free. Why don't you sleep with me?"
Kabuto
- "I never told Orochimaru that he kinda looks like a girl"
- "Oh why did I never finish the Ninja Academy"
- "I think Shizune likes me"
Kakashi
- "I think I'm going to show up for training early today"
- "Man, my partners died.. oh well better them than me"
- "I'm too lazy to choose the color of my mask today"
- "Naruto! You could read my Come Come Paradise"
- "Do I save my comrades or finish the mission? Oh, screw this, I'll just kill my comrades and finish it myself."
Kankuro
- "Hey Gaara, can I build a sand castle with your sand"
- "Puppets are kinda boring; I think I'm going to be a ventriloquist instead"
- "To tell you the truth, puppets kind of freak me out"
- "Oh my dollies look so pretty today."
Kiba
- "You're a bad dog, Akamaru"
- "I think I'm allergic to dogs"
- "I want a cat"
- "AKAMARU! WHAT DID I TELL YOU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I FOUND OUT YOU PEED ON THE RUG? -Brings Akamaru outside with a shotgun-"
Kisame
- "Gaassp, I can't breath"
- "Hey guys, let's go to a fish buffet for dinner!"
Konohamaru
- "Naruto! You're a bad leader! I'm going to look for Sasuke!"
Kakuzu
- "You guys are so obsessed with money! Don't you fight for anything else?"
Naruto
- "Shut up, Sakura I don't want to be Hokage today"
- "I don't like ramen! Let's eat tofu"
- "I hate the color orange"
- "I love you Neji."
Neji
- "I love you more Hinata."
Orochimaru
- "Ok, lets pretend I'm straight for one minute"
- "I have one more snake that you haven't seen, Sasuke"
- "I'm the guy who did Michael Jackson's plastic surgery."
Rock Lee
- "Hey Gai-Sensei! Can I enter a ninjutsu contest"
- "Gai, stop hugging little boys and get a girlfriend"
- "Sakura, does nothing appease you"
- "Sakura, you are so ugly. I hate girls with pink hair"
- "Sorry Gaara, I stole your eyebrows"
- "Gai, I'm done with these spandex; it's really causing me to itch now."
Sakura
- "Screw this, this ninja thing ain't for me. I just wanted to be near Naruto"
- "Damn Sasuke, you're even uglier than I am"
- "Damn Sasuke get a hair cut."
Sasuke
- "I'm sorry Itachi. I don't feel like fighting today"
- "You know, I'll stop hunting Itachi. I think I'll just enjoy life and marry Sakura"
- "Naruto, I love you. You are much more than a brother to me"
- I'm not emo. Breaks into song I walk a lonely road, the only road that I have ever known. Cuts wrists Don't know where it go... passes out
Shikamaru
- "I'm sooo hyper. Lets run laps around Kohana for a hour"
- "Ino I hate you; you're such a bitch. Yet you're so hot marry me"
- "Whats 1 1?"
Shizune
- "Tsunade-sama, I don't wanna work for you anymore!"
Shino
- "Oh my god, did you see the size of that bug"
- "Eww... get that thing out of your mouth you don't know were it has been"
- A bug! A bug! Get it off me! Get it off me!
- HAHAHAHAHA!
Temari
- "This damn fan is really starting to get heavy."
The Third Hokage
- "This village sucks. I'm moving to Hawaii."
Tsunade
- "I hate being young. I wish I didn't have this jutsu going" - "Mmmmm grubs slimy yet satisfying"
- "Gambling is horrible. I'll pick up a better hobby like collecting shells"
- "I am NOT a total whore"
- "God I'm glad that Dan creep died. I swear he was stalking me"
- "Shizune, do you think I am flat-chested"
- "They call it HO-kage for a reason!"