2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
I sighed, my body tiredly stretched out on my worn out leather sofa, absentmindedly watching whatever the hell was currently on my TV as the rain continued to hammer down outside. Droplets of water hitting the window ceil, creating a persistent yet soothing sound as it tried to comfort my busy mind.
But this was nothing new, or recent. My over active mind had been my downfall, one of the main reasons why a good night's sleep simply wasn't an option for me anymore. Every little aspect of my life was over analysed until my brain had formulated every possible scenario or explanation. And there was always a reoccurring pattern, a factor which appeared in everything.
I was in love.
Not the rainbows and butterflies kind of love.
I'm talking about- 'so painfully head over heels, slit my wrists in love' with someone who was so out of my league. So perfect.
And it killed me, it took all of my strength and more to continue this facade every day, to pretend that seeing her with him, didn't tear me apart inside, that my heart wasn't literally being ripped out from my chest and run over by a freight train.
Those who say jealousy is a disease is right, it's like a terminal illness slowly eating me away as it changes who I am. I was never like this, I was never this bitter, but then again, I was never out of my depth as much as I am now.
I remember when I knew I was screwed, the day where she was no longer a platonic figure in my life, the day where she became the one for me. That warm summer's day
My attention was caught as I heard another solid knock, my brain actually processing that somebody was at my door. I knitted my eyebrows together in confusion as I glanced at the small antique clock resting on my coffee table, telling me it was just after 2AM, who the hell would be at my door at this time?
I lazily rolled off of the sofa, hoisting my sleep deprived body up until my legs steadied on my hardwood floor, each foot dragging itself, bringing me closer to the door. I twisted the handle, the painted rectangle of wood hitting the wall at my unexpected force, my eyes literally popping out of their sockets as I registered just who was standing before me.
It wasn't a crazy murderer equipped with an axe and a malicious smile. Nor was it a sleep walking neighbour from a couple of floors up.
It was the last person I was expecting to see, drenched head to toe, mascara stained cheeks as fresh tears mixed in with the rain.
"Mitchie?"I questioned, still not completely sure if my mind was playing some cruel trick on me. She didn't reply, her lips pursed in a tight line as her body jerked, her eyes closed. "Mitchie?" I repeated again as I took a step towards her, touching her bare arm.
Who the hell leaves their apartment at 2am in the middle of winter without a coat? This was New York, not California. This shit got cold.
Nothing, still no reply. I just continued to stand there, unable to think of what to do next, until a sob escaped her lips. I felt as if a knife had been driven into my chest at the very sight of seeing her upset, my arms instinctively pulling her towards me, our bodies coming into contact.
I ran my hands up and down her soaked back, trying to sooth her, stop her from crying as the curiosity within me grew.
"Mitch, what's the matter?" I pulled her away from me slightly as I brushed a piece of dampened hair behind her ears, loose strands of her perfect brown hair sticking to her face slightly. She sniffled, as she raised her gaze from the floor to meet mine.
"What are you doing out at this time, let alone here?" I asked another question, hoping that something I would say would spark a response. This wasn't like her, the Mitchie I knew and loved was one of the most talkative people you could ever meet, to some it would be annoying but to me, it was one thing in a long never ending list of things I loved about her.
"I've been stupid" she said just above a whisper "so stupid" she placed her small hands against the window pane, lowering her head slightly "So blind"
"Mitchie, look at me" I begged slightly "Mitchie, look at me" I grabbed her shoulder lightly and turned her around, now able to distinguish the fresh tears that were running down her cheeks.
She looked at me dead in the eyes, as she bit her lip.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I couldn't help but let one of her pet names pass my lips as I felt little pieces of me break away as I saw her upset.
"Nate" she said simply. My stomach dropped even further if that was even possible, what about Nate? What had happened to my brother, my band mate, my best friend?
Oh did I not mention that she had been dating my younger, more musically inclined brother for months now, even though he was aware that my interest in Mitchie was not one of a friend?
Yeah, I agree with what you're saying- he is a douche.
I let go of her shoulder and took her hand, leading her to the sofa and sitting her down, crouching in front of her. "What's happened?" I asked again, god, those two words were becoming incredibly old, incredibly quickly, my patience running thin. After all it was the middle of the night, a sleep deprived Shane cant process things at the best of times.
"You" she said, causing me to furrow my eyebrows together in confusion. What? Me?
"Excuse me?" I don't think I heard her right, what have I done that could possibly affect Nate and more importantly her in this way?
"You" she repeated "Everything is your fault" I gulped harshly as I became overwhelmed with confusion and paranoia, trying to comprehend what the hell she was going on about. "I wish I had never met you"
Okay, please telling me I was having some horrible nightmare, because there is no way that she is telling me this. That she regretted ever having me in her life
She pushed herself up off the sofa and onto her feet as I got up also, as she began to pace the room "If I had never met you, I wouldn't be in this mess!" she screamed frustratingly, pulling her hair
I remained silent, rendered absolutely speechless and still clueless about what the hell was going on.
"If I hadn't of met you, I wouldn't have met Nate, I wouldn't have become friends with you and I WOULDNT HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THE WRONG GRAY!" her hysteric voice echoed through the apartment as she fell to her knees the sobs escaping her lips hard and fast, her body jerking violently. I thought she had said all she had to say until she spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper "if I hadn't met you, I wouldn't have dated Nate, I wouldn't have tried to make whatever we had work when I knew it was going absolutely no where. I wouldn't have put your brother through endless months of false hope and love. When really, my heart belonged somewhere else. And I was just too blind to see it"
By the time she had stopped talking I don't know if I was dying or simply having a cardiac arrest, either way I knew my heart was racing at a million miles per hour, a sweat breaking out on my skin.
"You broke up with Nate?" I broke the silence with my unsteady voice as I looked down towards her, even in such a state I couldn't help but admire how beautiful she was.
She scoff humorously "Broke up with Nate? Shane I might as well have killed him, heartbroken was an understatement" She said, her sobs subsiding.
I sat down on my carpeted floor in front of her, crossing my legs as I accidentally let out a yawn, my body deceiving me with showing Mitchie just how tired I was. "then why did you do it?" I asked quietly, feeling sorry for my brother, imagining him back at his apartment, surrounded by empty beer cans as he tried to cope with losing the girl he loved
She grabbed my hands, intertwining our fingers as she simply shook your head "You just don't get it do you? I love Nate, don't get me wrong I do, he is a fantastic man and he will make some girl the happiest person in the world, but that person just wasn't me Shane. I know the person who will make me feel like that, and I'm pretty sure they know too and it's about time that they both stop denying the signs before it's too late"
Silence fell between us as Mitchie's eyes searched my face, for something, I was still unsure of, all of this was hurting my head, her cryptic words filling me with both false hope and utter confusion.
"Okay Shane, either this is down to what time of day it is, or you are just surprisingly slow, so I'm going to just come out with it because I can't hide it anymore"
"Okay..." I said slowly, mentally preparing myself for god knows what.
"I" she point to herself "Love" she scooted closer, still on her knees "you" she pressed a finger lightly to my chest. I was rendered absolutely speechless; it was as if my whole body had frozen my expression completely blank. "I don't want to just be the best friend anymore Shane, I can't be. If I'm honest, I don't think I've ever just seen you as just a friend, but I was too scared to admit to myself that everything I could possibly want, my soul mate was right in front of me the whole time. And I know you feel the same way about me"
I watched as I saw a smile spread across her lips as she replaced the finger with her palm, placing it flat against my chest "Do I make you nervous Shane?"
I shook my head "N-no" I stuttered
"Good...are you scared?"
I exhaled deeply, finally letting my body relax a little "Yes" I admitted, scared was an understatement, this whole thing terrified me.
"Me too." She reached for my hand and placed it against her chest "See?"I felt her heart race at a million beats per minute "I'm always like this around you; you're the only one who has ever had this effect on me. So don't be scared, don't worry about what anyone else says, because the only thing that matters is you and me"
I learnt over, closing the gap between myself and Mitchie, my body nearly giving out from the butterflies currently erupting in the pit of my stomach as our lips met, instantly moulding it to one another perfectly.
I had imagined this moment, no joke, probably a million times and it exceeded every day dream, every moment of wishful thinking in the past. This was the real thing, and I'm not going to lie to you, I could get used to this.
I felt her smile against my lips as the necessity for air became apparent, our faces parting only a matter of millimetres
"Question." I prompted, aware that what I was about to say could well be a moment killer "did I make it really that obvious how I felt towards you?"
She laughed, her hot breath hitting my cheeks "just a little Shane, especially all those nights I stayed over and well...let's just say I played a very active part in your dreams" she pulled away a little, shooting me a wink as I felt heat rise in my cheeks.
"Shit" I mumbled feeling beyond embarrassed. Nice one Shane, profess your love to the girl of your dreams whilst your unconscious having a sex dream.
I was right, that question was a moment killer. Good one Shane, Good one.
She bit her lip, her fingers slowly dancing their way up my bare forearms "Don't be embarrassed Shane, they sounded pretty good"
I cleared my throat uncomfortably; we were not discussing my inappropriate dreams now were we....yes?
Oh fuck my life
She got to her feet wordlessly and extended her hand towards me, as I accepted, hoisting myself up "You know you haven't told me that you love me yet..." she began, her voice slow and smooth "So how about you show me instead?"
I didn't say a word, I just nodded as she led me into my bedroom, my life feeling the most certain and complete than it had for god knows how long. After years of clinging on to wishful thinking and the smallest glimmer of hope I had undoubtedly the love of my life professing the very same feelings I possessed for her.
Unbeknown to me only a matter of hours before, but tonight was my last night pining over the girl of my dreams at 2am, and I can't say I was going to miss it
So there you go my loves, here is a one shot for you, I'm in the process of writing another one actually. And oh my god, have you realised, it's a happy one shot, because we all know I do have a tendency of writing one shots where people die haha. Bad times. Okay so you'll make me one happy girl if I can get 10 reviews for this, any more and I'll post an update of another fic of mine really soon.
