My Burden
Disclaimer: All characters in this story do not belong to me and all copyright belongs to their respective creators, i.e. Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya.
Even though we share the same body, I don't think you, my other self, are privy to my thoughts…or at least what's left of them. It's been so long, so many years; so many generations…I can barely hold onto the remnants of the reason for my burdens. I suppose if you were, if in some way you all could share our story much like we bear witness to your tales, you wouldn't have such a twisted, painful life and skewed opinions of each other. If only our memories hadn't faded and the story of our lives turn into a legend that is itself vaguely remembered, then you would perhaps understand a semblance of why you must be the one to suffer the most.
I was the first to befriend him, and as the first it hurt the most when I 'betrayed' him. God, as you call him, was alone for as long as he could remember and then I was there. We had many good memories and soon our circle of friends grew, and we enjoyed the wonderful banquets and treasured each others company. Unfortunately, my mortality caught up with me and God, being unaware of the fragilities of life, sought to preserve our friendship forever. Thus he blessed a cup and everyone drank from it, wanting to be together forever because our friendship to each other was too precious to lose. They made me drink – why wasn't I able to muster the strength to speak up sooner – and I explained to them that I did not want 'forever'. Our time together was a happy one and it would have been more fun to reunite in the future in our own time, rather than being bound together forever. Sadly, my words were misconstrued and to them it seemed as though I had turned my back on them and so they shunned me, leaving me to die and be the first to pass on and be bound by what you now call the 'Curse'.
I won't justify it and say you should view our eternal bond as a blessing and an honour for you to bear, to be chosen to keep something so simple and treasured alive through so many generations and centuries. No-one should have to bear the past of another; your story is your own to tell and you shouldn't have to be burdened with a story that should have ended long ago.
You, my other self, must often wonder why we have two forms. I do not know why myself, but I once tried to hazard a guess and it is this guess that sometimes brings me peace. When I was forced to drink from that cup, I was angry and I was hurt when my words fell on deaf ears and I was left alone. But surely my pain could not be enough to create such a monster. My pain is not so ugly and twisted, especially since I understood the desires of my friends. I knew why they wanted to hold onto each other, but I hoped that they would one day see reason and feel the same way I do. Perhaps, and I am sorry to feel this way, but their desire to go against nature is what is ugly. To create a law that goes against the Design and to be too afraid to accept what is right for the world - that selfishness and ignorance could be what is ugly and hideous. One only has to observe my other form to realise that I am no longer myself; the ears of the Rabbit, the speed of the Horse, the strength of the Ox, the appearance of a beast as fabled as the Dragon…and so on. Perhaps, by being the first and the one to understand what should be, I was given the burden to bear their ugliness for they sought what they believed to be beautiful. I didn't want this, I was the first, I felt anger, I understood them, I pitied them; perhaps it is these feelings and qualities that I have, coupled with their shunning of me, that brought about this fate for both of us.