Chapter 1

As far as Remus was concerned, Sirius never cried. At least, not where someone might see him at any rate. As a former teacher, Remus knew he should be able to sense someone's emotions fairly well; it seemed to be an unwritten part of the job description. Unfortunately, Remus could not seem to be able to apply this practice to his personal life. Therefore, he chose to ignore Sirius's sulking and instead, walk on eggshells to avoid his temper.

Sirius had been happy when he first arrived at Remus's flat, despite its small size. There was only one room, not counting the bathroom, but Sirius had practically beamed, proclaiming it would be just like old times. This attitude had lasted about a week before Sirius's moods gradually declined. Remus had just assumed he was somewhat stir crazy after living in the wild for months at a time. Being confined in Remus's flat was a great contrast. There was no breathing room for either of them. If one of them wanted some privacy, they would have to confine themselves to the loo, but that could only last for so long.

Sirius was in the loo. He had been for nearly two hours and Remus really had to take a piss. As far as he could see, there were three options: wait on it, ask Sirius to come out, or relieve himself in the backyard. Three was not Remus's favorite option. For now, Remus chose to wait. He sat down on the couch that Sirius had been using as a bed for the past few weeks and thought about things that weren't running water. This became extremely difficult when Sirius decided to use the shower for the third time that day.

Remus groaned inwardly, and then proceeded to laugh at the slight comedy in the situation. Laughing was not the best idea. Remus stood and hurriedly walked to the bathroom door.

He knocked twice. "Sirius, I'm coming in to use the loo," he shouted over the running water, before opening the door.

As soon as the room came into sight Remus gasped. Sirius was in the shower, but he hadn't been for very long. A small, but fresh, trail of blood led from the sink, across the small bathroom, and into the shower. An abandoned razor lay on the counter by the sink.

Neither spoke; the comedy Remus had created in his mind was gone, and a deadly silence fell over the small, now slightly steam-filled room. Remus proceeded to go about his business, as the shock did not relieve his natural urges.

"When you get out of the shower we are having a talk," Remus announced, attempting to keep his voice steady. Sirius's shadow on the shower curtain didn't flinch, nor did Sirius respond.

Remus left the bathroom, returning to his spot on the couch, but upon reflection, moved to make a cup of tea on the other side of the room, which he had deemed the kitchen. Remus put some water on to boil, and then pulled a bag of crisps out of the cabinet above the sink. He was acting on manners. This is what he would do if he had to speak to a student at Hogwarts- kind but firm. Sirius was not a student at Hogwarts; Remus reprimanded himself, and placed the crisps back into the cabinet.

As Remus finished making two cups of tea, he heard the bathroom door click open. Sirius walked over and sat at the table, his head hung low. Remus sat across from him, setting the tea down.

"Where?" he asked Sirius, his voice still emotionless. Sirius still did not look up, but laid out his arms for Remus to see the cuts he had drawn up his arms. Remus said nothing, but took out his wand, casting a simple healing charm. Thank Merlin for the lycanthropy, he thought. He wasn't sure he could stomach this if he wasn't used to seeing it after every full moon.

Remus was beyond speech at this point, not a great occurrence, seeing he was the one that said they needed to talk. He would have expected Sirius to be angry, to be throwing things. He could have handled that better. He didn't know what to do with a silent Sirius who would not even look at him.

"Sirius…" he prompted, but it still elicited no response. Before he realized what he was doing, Remus reached out across the table and slapped Sirius.

And that's when Remus realized the fact that Sirius was crying. Remus's hand was wet where it had met Sirius's face. His throat clenched, and a gasp escaped, both at his own actions and Sirius's tears. He got up quickly, looking away, and walked into the loo. Bugger talking he thought, before collapsing to sit on the toilet. Thankfully, there were no traces of what had happened left in the bathroom.

Remus didn't know what to do, didn't know what to think. This wasn't the Sirius he knew. Of course it isn't, he prompted himself. Sirius had been through Azkaban; he's lost himself. Remus let out a long breath, shaky and staggering.

Sirius sat alone at the table and sipped the tea Remus made. He refused to let himself think.