T/W: VERY SERIOUS TOPICS AND GRAPHIC SCENES AHEAD! READ WITH CAUTION!
A person sat at the edge of his bed, with one leg perched on the very edge of its side and the other hanging loosely in front of it. His cold dual-colored eyes observed the screen in front of him with a remote on his hand. The screen was currently displaying a blank image, waiting for the holder of the remote to command it to display the video that was saved on it. His eyes looked around the small room he was currently in and tried to look for any chances that his plan that he spent minutes to meticulously prepare might fail.
He found no such thing. An obvious conclusion with his obviously immense talent. He saw no reason nor opportunity for the possibility that this plan could fail horribly. With his analytical abilities, every outcome of this experiment the he can foresee will yield a satisfying conclusion for both parties.
Naturally, those parties would be both Hajime and Izuru who were currently residing inside this body.
He gave one last mental rundown of the things he prepared. First was a spear that he crafted himself that was hanging on the ceiling of his room which would drop two minutes after the video ended based on his calculations. Next on the list was the dagger that was taped heavily on the floor with the handle sticking out instead of the blade. The last two things on the agenda were the four tranquilizer turrets that were pointed on a single general area and a buzzer alarm that would ring all throughout the entirety of Jabberwock Island via the many monitors that the Future Foundation installed for communication purposes; both of which would activate five minutes after the video ended. It was mere child's play to override the Future Foundation's admin privileges with a laptop and install that buzzer alarm that would alert all of them towards the hotel lobby. It would only be a matter of time before they start connecting the dots themselves...
...Without his help, more or less. They really needed to start thinking for themselves instead of relying on him to argue about whodunnit and whatnot.
Hajime then returned his calculating eyes towards the screen and gestured his thumb towards the remote's power button. He pointed the remote towards the screen and...
...Felt a chilly breeze hold him back. His eyes widened by a small margin in mild surprise. He certainly did not expect resistance this early after mentally and physically preparing himself for this experiment. However, Hajime didn't consciously feel his body hesitate from a command from his brain but rather, from a response to an external stimuli...
If that was the case, then the only obvious and rational explanation for this miscalculation was the interference of a certain girl.
The former Ultimate Hope let out a slightly infuriated sigh and turned towards his right to see the ghastly figure of Chiaki holding his arm like she was trying to pull it back towards her. A pointless and boring farce. This was a battle she was going to lose and yet here she was, persisting to defy him to set him on the "right" path. He could tell from the look of her face and the way she moved her body that she was putting in all of her effort to try and pull his arm; eyebrows scrunched, eyelids shut tight and all those other tells of physical hardships. She was a but a mere ghost, a phantasmic illusion, trying to attempt a very impossible thing such as pulling his arm. He even doubted that this figure would have succeeded even if she was physically here beside him.
Simply put, it was impossible for Chiaki Nanami to stop him from what he was doing.
Eventually, she stopped applying "effort" into continuing her struggling. Hajime saw sweat fall from her head and her chest rise and fall with her quiet pants for air. It appears that even an ethereal existence can experience something as human as exhaustion - an interesting observation to keep in mind once this plan pushes through. As soon as her arms fell back to her sides, he moved his thumb to press the power but-
"Hinata-kun...don't do this...please..." she panted and pleaded to Hajime, resorting to diplomacy instead of her minuscule strength in comparison to his. It was a good strategy to attack his mind - to try and make him doubt his stance like that one time in the program, but he already gone through repeated efforts of rethinking and deciding to hesitate now.
Sighing for a second, the artificial Ultimate placed the remote down on his left, opposite of where the now relaxed and smiling Chiaki was sitting. He had to constantly remind himself that this figure beside him was but a figment of his imagination. She wasn't the real one, but she was like a second voice in his head - a conversation partner if he ever got lonely. He supposes that he has some subconscious hesitation for this act if she appeared to try and persuade him to stop.
Not that he needed her to tell him that. After all, no sane human being would go through with *this*...
Yes, he was sane the last time he checked, but the human being part of that statement is still under scrutiny and this little experiment is key to solving that mystery. The results would finally gauge how human he was. Without question, it would become irrefutable proof. The luxury of solid evidence to a philosophical question was far from the reaches of those who told him that he was human and that he was capable of emotions. He appreciated their gestures of comfort and reassurance, but his curiosity got the better of him when he procured this video during his last excursion at the site of the Future Foundation killing game. It was the same morbid curiosity that got him and the others into their very own killing game that he masterminded.
Nevertheless, this was an opportunity he simply could not let go. He had a lot of questions about himself with very shaky answers. With this, those irksome questions would finally be answered. Doubts would be dispelled. Life would be given meaning.
Hajime was determined to see this through the end and he WILL destroy this last figment of hesitation swirling in his mind.
He ferociously grabbed the remote beside him and turned to Chiaki. "Don't even try to stop me. I have spent a considerable amount of time thinking this through and I won't hesitate now that the answer is finally within reach." he stated, his face featuring a stern expression.
"Is this what you really want?" she questioned in a very serious manner as a reply. "Do you think that this is all worth the trouble? They'll be worried about you, Hinata-kun. You would be doing more harm than good if you do this."
"And who's to say that I don't deserve what's to come from this?!" he shot back with a hint of anger in his retort. Briefly after that outburst, he calmed his nerves and patiently waited for a reply from her but none came. He continued. "This is something that I need to know for myself. I will repeat it for the last time, Nanami. Don't even try to stop me." he finished, hoping that his message was loud and clear for her to take in.
Chiaki's face fell in shame and lethargically pulled up her hood. "...I can't really stop you, can I? Fine then, I'll leave you alone if that's what you want..." she forlornly muttered as she started to fade away. "...I just...wanted to make sure that you don't have any regrets before you leave them, Hinata-kun..." For a few seconds, Hajime saw Chiaki's figure flash to a nauseating sight that made him flinch slightly. She was now donning the tattered and bloodied uniform she wore during her last moments. Even her face sported the same streaks of blood that flowed from the laceration on her forehead. "...Not like me..."
He hastily looked away from that horrible image and focused his gaze on the screen in front of him instead. He was relieved to see that the black screen didn't reflect that nightmarish sight beside him.
"I should get used to seeing that..." he jokingly mumbled to himself with some dark humor as he finally pressed the power button on the remote. The screen lit up, playing the usual pre-recorded spiel that that annoying monochromatic stuffed animal would say to the "attacker", as the game stated in its rules. He took the stuffed animal's minute long conversation as an opportunity to mentally prepare himself one last time.
There's a high chance that he'll die a painful death after this...
But there's also the chance that he would be able to make it until the five minute mark...
Whether he would come out a horribly mangled corpse or a survivor from this, it didn't matter to Hajime in the slightest. Not at all, really.
If he dies knowing that he was still a human being capable of experiencing grief and happiness, then so be it. He knows that this was extremely selfish for him - risking his life just for some answer, but he had long been desensitized to the importance of life and death ever since the Hope Cultivation project.
Who can blame him, really? Hajime made a human decision to rip his humanity away from him. He wants to do it again.
He never took anyone's feelings into account when he made his decision to become the artificial Ultimate, not even Chiaki's...
…It's the same thing all over again, isn't it? He failed to realize that other people wouldn't want to see him dead. The sight of his bloodied corpse would be enough to devastate his friends...
So... should I continue with this...?
Unfortunately, it was already too late for him to hesitate...
Monokuma's Gloomy Sunday had started to play. The distorted audio playing in reverse has already derailed all his other senses, forcing Hajime to focus on the video itself. Any attempt to keep his eyes away from the screen were rendered futile. The subliminal messaging from the colors going inverse and back and the sounds playing in reverse with the volume levels rising and falling had completely taken effect on his brain. The disturbing scene of Monokuma swaying his head back and forth on a Gloomy Sunday that played in the screen were burned in his eyes.
Damnit! This was a huge mistake!
Despite the futility of the situation, Hajime fought against the brainwashing to regain control over his senses. Fortunately for him, he still had some sense of control left. He could still move his limbs about. However, he couldn't will himself to move from his current position. His eyes and ears were trained at the suicide video that was currently playing.
There was no point in resisting, wasn't there?
Eventually, Hajime relented and focused on surviving. He held on to the small hope that he was going to make it out of this alive.
His surroundings distorted and became pixelated. This familiar sensation nauseated Hajime as all rational thought was being dissolved into artificial remnants. Everything from the stark white walls to the dust mites floating visibly by the tropical sunlight outside "shattered" into equally sized blocks and fell to the void his slowly-deteriorating mind conjured.
Everything bec am e d a r k . . .
…A voice…
…Hinata-kun…
…Wake up, you traitor…
Hajime reopened his eyes and saw that he was back in the place of nihil that was created by his psyche during the sixth class trial, with two Chiaki's standing in front of him and behind him. One of them was glitching in and out of existence, her limbs and body twitching, blinking and switching to random colors, while the other was crawling towards his body with a manic, deranged smirk on her bloodied face.
The boy gasped and backed as far away as he can from the two approaching figures.
"Awww, are you going to leave me again, Hinata-kun?" the crawling Chiaki giggled. "You promised we'd play video games tomorrow."
"It's? lonely h!ere with0ut yo1, Hinat4-kun..." said the glitching Chiaki.
"S-Stay back!" ordered Hajime frantically. "Wh-What are you…?"
"Hey hey… Why are you still alive?"
"HeHEy hey… whyyyyYy arrre yo2 still ali-ve9?"
They both spoke in unison with a voice that was devoid of all life and emotion. Their faces were all covered with the shadow their bangs casted. It didn't help that it was because of him that they looked so...lifeless...and dead. He had to repeat it to himself that these two weren't real and that they wouldn't act this way towards him. It just wasn't like Chiaki to do something like this.
With shaky legs, Hajime stood up and aggressively asserted his dominance to face these phantoms by standing his ground. "I'm trying to live for you, Nanami! Didn't you want this?"
"You sent us to our deaths, Hinata-kun..." one of them said in a sad voice, abject with despair and jealousy. "And yet, you're still alive? Why...do you still continue to torture us even in death?"
"But...!"
"I-- wasn't th3 TrAiToR bu 1 was stilLlLL exexexecuTED..." said the other, sharing the same tone as the former even with all the glitching in her voice. The erratic static stopped for a moment and she looked up at him, revealing red pupils filled with contempt and anger towards him. "...You were the real traitor. Why didn't you sacrifice yourself to save us who were innocent? How can you live with such heavy guilt on your shoulders? You're so unfair, Hinata-kun..."
No matter how hard Hajime tried to drown those out, the words they spoke never left him, so did the guilt that he tried to move past from. He began to cave in on himself, legs threatening to collapse and surrender to *his* despair...
But he wasn't alone...
...He shared Izuru's despair. The despair and guilt that *he* felt, the other felt it as well.
A choir started to chant "ENOSHIMA" in a hollow monotonous clarion of echoes. Both Hajime and Izuru looked up and noticed that there were more people now. All their eyes were red with despair and faces angry yet expressionless. It was then that they realized that these were the Remnants of Despair who died in the simulation and the Student Council whom he witnessed brutally slaughter each other, including the one he killed in self-defense. They all retained their wounds: the skewered and perforated bodies of the Impostor, Peko and Nagito, the transformed deep fried figure of Teruteru, the bashed heads of Mahiru and the robotic Nekomaru, the scarred necks of both Hiyoko and Ibuki, the thighs of Mikan that dripped with fluids from overstimulation, and the bruised, dusty, body of Gundham. They didn't move but they just stared at him with harsh indifference.
"You just stood there and watched us all die..." said the human Chiaki. "...All that talent and for what?"
Hajime was silent, slowly moving away from the approaching pack of predators only to bump into Izuru who shared his fearful expression. It appears that the group has encircled them, with the two culprits at the center.
"WH.Y didN't yoU staY as h3 boring talentless Reserve Course Student, Hinata-kun?" asked the AI. "W!as talllllent m04r iMpOrTaNT than us...? Were w/e t-o-o boring f4or you?"
He wanted to reply. He desperately wanted to refute those words but the words he tried to scream out was drowned out by the chanting choir that slowly raised their hands and pointed at both him and Izuru.
"Murderer."
"Horrible."
"Monster."
"Traitor."
"Inhuman."
"Talentless."
"Boring."
"Selfish."
"Heartless."
"Imbecile."
"Hopeless."
"Despair."
It was too much for him to handle. He collapsed on his knees and covered his ears, begging and screaming against the "ENOSHIMA" that reverberated throughout the void they were in to wake himself up from this nightmare. He couldn't take more insults from his friends, especially Nagito whom has taken the time to spend time with him and comfort him at his times of need. It was a mistake, a terrible mistake, to take all their kindness for granted. They all looked and pointed at them as if they were cold-blooded criminals, and neither of them denied that.
There was one way to fully absolve them of their sins.
"I miss you, Hinata-kun. I miss playing video games with my best friend."
"WE'Ll Ff!orgive youuu iF yOu'll StAy HeRe WiTh U$, K4mUkUr4-kUn, HIN4T4-KuN."
"Yeah, I wanna meet Kamukura-kun too! C'mon Hinata-kun! Just grab the knife and kill yourself."
Kill…myself…?
Hinata Hajime, do not continue that line of-
The eye that was of a once bright and lively golden green is now being masked by a vortex pigmented with the reflection of the bright red light from that suicide video that obscured all traces of his previous eye color. This red vortex, too, erased everything that was once Hajime and brainwashed him.
"Hehehehe…HAHAHAHAHAHA! W-Wait for me, everyone! I'll be right there in a second!" his voice seemed so broken and wracked with grief and insanity, like his current state of mind.
Hajime Hinata was reborn as an individual, harboring and admiring the most intense kind of despair that even Junko spent her whole life to seek.
He was reborn as the second coming of Ultimate Despair.
He heard a thud on the floor. His face stretched in glee upon seeing the two weapons he could use to inflict as much despair as he can on himself and the others.
Like every part of their morning routine, the other Ultimates would always meet up in the second floor of the hotel at this tropical island. They all came at their earliest convenience. It was quite something else when such talented people with unique personalities would avoiding truancy in coming to eat breakfast together.
Ah… Nagito made a silent hum of shock for forgetting a very important fact. …I suppose we have Nanami-san and Yukizome-sensei to thank for that.
Chuckling to himself and minding his own business, he grabbed his portions and sat down beside an empty place at the head of the table where he usually sat at, unlike before in the program when he usually sat far away from the others. Of course, that was his talentless side. The current him deserved to seat at the throne for the king of all Ultimates. It was only by instinct and Nagito's newly-gained conscience that he finally had the confidence to seat beside someone so great and powerful without the fear of being too filthy to grace his wonderful presence.
Well, he DID order the white-haired boy to not think down on himself. There was some hesitation at first but Hajime groomed him to learn to love his own garbage self. He truly is a symbol of hope, isn't he?
After thinking about Hajime so much, it only registered for Nagito that he was the only one not present at this breakfast. He found it weird how there was no voice of authority guiding them all, save for the Impostor; he reserved the title of leadership for Hajime and only acted as the vice leader of the group. Perhaps they all thought that he was busy and might come in late.
Always the workaholic, aren't you, Hinata-kun?
Nagito looked back at his prosthetic arm that was filled with his hope and not Junko's revolting despair. He heard that they all worked hard into creating this arm for him while they waited for him to wake up from his comatose state, especially Hajime. Until now, he never knew why they bothered to waste such valuable resources to restoring the use of his left arm when they could have used said resources to giving Fuyuhiko a bionic eye instead.
He could make a few guesses but he avoided being too presumptuous towards the former Ultimate Hope's intentions.
"…Oi, Komaeda," someone who sounded like Hiyoko broke out. "Where's Hinata-nii?"
Nagito turned towards the unknown voice and found out that all their eyes were trained on him from the dancer's question. It was unusual for her to show some concern for him. He shrugged in reply.
The Impostor sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. "… See? How many times do I have to tell you? He simply is busy. He won't miss one day of breakfast, that I am absolutely certain of."
"Well, he better make it then!" Mahiru raised her voice in reply. "He should learn to be more responsible and be more punctual."
"Good God, you remind me of that tight-assed bastard who won't shut his trap about "Rules and Regulations"…"
Thus, the banter between the symbols of hope continued and they ignored him once more. Nagito forced a smile and resumed eating his breakfast in comfortable silence. Maybe while they're busy, he could pick up those empty plates and wash them so they can continue on with their businesses or so that they can focus on other matters. He probably could also help them find Hajime to lessen their mental burden-
An alarm went off inside the hotel. Nagito's eyes perked up from the sudden disruption, as well as the others'. Without thinking about it, they all stopped eating and marched downstairs towards the hotel lobby. As they arrived, they awaited the Future Foundation's message with bated breaths.
"Hey…" Kazuichi spoke up after waiting for some time. "…You guys think this is just a false alarm?"
"None sense, you imbecile!" replied Sonia. "The Future Foundation is capable enough to not make a false alarm!"
"O-Of course, Sonia-san!"
So they continued to wait for another minute…
"Ok, I'm DEFINITELY sure that this is a false alarm!!!" bellowed Nekomaru.
"Alright then, fess up!" Akane balled her fists in anger. "I'll punch whoever made me stop eatin'!"
No one said anything since they were already used to the gymnast's violent behavior.
"So ummm… Ibuki's gonna go on ahead and finish her breakfast first, 'kay?"
Before anyone can voice out their agreements with Ibuki, Nagito cleared his throat to get their attention. Hearing this, they all turned around and looked at him once more. "…Perhaps we should ask Hinata-kun about this."
"Ughhhhh! Can that wait?! I still haven't finished my gummy bears!"
"Ah, don't worry everyone." Nagito happily replied with a casual whir of his robotic hand. "I'll volunteer to check up on him while you can all enjoy your breakfast. I didn't wish to bother everyone with my earlier suggestion."
They ignored his self-deprecating remark and entrusted the task to the lucky student. He exited the hotel and walked towards Hajime's cottage. Upon reaching his door, he rang the doorbell once and called out his name. Nagito pressed his ears towards the door. Due to his weight, and probably his luck, the door opened. After stumbling forward a bit, he noticed that the lights of his room were turned off, making it dark, save for the light from the sun outside and-
"Gah...!"
Nagito flinched and stumbled backwards and fell on his legs with his shaky footing as he saw the red lightning insignia of Monokuma's left eye lighting up the scene before him. Propping himself up with his hands, he slid his legs to push himself away from the red scene that reeked faintly of blood. His hands lost their grip on the boardwalk from the sudden appearance of an empty space and he nearly fell into the water below the plank. He calmed his racing heart and stood up on trembling legs, using the wall for support. His eyes still haven't seen what the scene was, really. He only caught a glimpse of the very familiar-looking spear that ended his life once, with its upper part sticking out like a sore eye above a heap of something. Although, looking back at it now, he swore it didn't look like it was made from steel.
Bracing himself for the worst that his luck can dish out, Nagito stepped into his cottage and flicked the light switch open.
Why was he so scared of what's to come?
What can possibly befall *the* Ultimate Hope, himself?
The hellish tinted scene reminded him of the Spoliarium for some abstracted reason.
Nagito approached where the spear pointed towards and near it he saw Hajime's body, lying face down on the floor with gashes on his exposed forearms and four tranquilizer darts decorating his body, two at his neck and two at his back. His right hand was clutching a knife, its metal coated and dripping with blood that flowed towards his hand. Nagito's eyes turned towards the spear. Its pointed part was barely touching Hajime's left side.
Nagito knelt down beside the unconscious form of Hajime and tried to feel his pulse on his left hand. His hand felt so cold, just like his own frail and slender ones.
The lucky student struggled to keep his grasp on the other's hands, trying to feel its quickly fading warmth.
The feeling was just too much.
This all too familiar feeling.
Was this despair…?
…Nagito laughed. He didn't cry nor weep in terror. He laughed a depraved laugh - a laughter that was twisted, crooked, brimming with the same crude mixture of hope and despair.
He laughed triumphantly, yet he laughed in defeat. He laughed joyously, yet tears of sadness poured down from his stormy eyes.
He stood up from his position, unplugged the large screen from its power source, and rushed out of the cottage. He needed to tell everyone of this great news! Everyone is sure to fall into great despair from this, but Hajime proved to be an even greater stepping stone than the white-haired boy ever imagined! He was glad, so glad, that the Ultimate Hope was finally able to understand what hope needed to transcend its current limitations.
They needed to overcome this despair - this despair of losing another one of their greatest leaders, third among the lines of their teacher and class rep. Nagito knew this wasn't a great loss; in fact, this was the greatest trial all these Ultimates had to face!
What great hope could be birthed from this ultimate despair?!
Stomping on the steps towards the hotel cafeteria, he yelled out his findings at Hajime's cottage, barely able to contain the excitement riding with his voice. The group did not take this well. Some spat out whatever was in their mouths while others let out a very loud gasp before dropping their plates on the floor.
"He's WHAT?!"
"B-Blasphemy! No mere mortal can defeat that demonic being!"
"A-A-Are you s-sure he wasn't j-just sleeping?!"
Nagito happily replied to all these statements and gestured them to follow him so that they can see for themselves. Byakuya stopped him for a moment and ordered Kazuichi, Teruteru, Hiyoko, Ibuki and Mahiru to help Mikan gather the necessary medical supplies posthaste and wait for them at the hospital on the third island. As soon as they left, he then took charge of the situation and demanded everyone to follow him.
"Why the sudden rush, Impostor-kun?" Nagito inquired. "I already told you, he's-"
"I'll…just make certain that you checked his pulse correctly!" he interrupted the lucky student brashly.
Nagito nodded at that and decided to leave the situation towards the Ultimates' better judgement instead. After all, how can someone like him be able to tell if Hajime was really alive or not? He might have not been able to feel a pulse but he wasn't that experienced with dealing with people just barely living through a near-death experience.
Once they were at his doorstep, Nagito stationed himself away from them and watched them unravel this predicament in admiration. Their vice leader barked orders towards the group to random places inside the cottage, something along the lines of "Put him there", "Get those darts off", "…to the hospital already" or whatever. With his leadership, they quickly and efficiently handled the situation. The large leader exited the cottage, stomped his way towards Nagito and angrily grabbed by him the collar of his jacket.
"Always check for the pulse five times."
Spitting those words at his face, the Impostor gestured for him to move towards the third island by thumbing his nose at its general direction. The white-haired boy followed without question.
Relishing in the homey feel of the hospital, Nagito sat down on one of the chairs on the lobby and stretched his legs out, exhausted from walking all over Jabberwock Island under the Impostor's beck and call, like a dog playing fetch with its master but the master pushing the dog to its limits by throwing the frisbee from the third island towards the other islands. Then again, if this was for the sake of helping Hajime, Nagito didn't mind going through hell and back for him. Whatever he did, as long as it's for the sake of true hope, it was guaranteed to be for the right cause.
The white-haired boy unquestionably slouched on his uncomfortable chair, closed his eyes, and thought back to the crime scene. The others thought that someone murdered Hajime. While that outcome can prove to be a worthy trial for these symbols of hope to overcome, that, unfortunately, wasn't the case. This was a death meant to cause as much despair as possible. Of course, he would know that for a fact. Hajime's state had a handful of similarities to how Nagito ended his life: the knife, spear and wounds on his forearms. Although it wasn't completely the same, he had an inkling of a thought that the strong-willed Hajime felt so much despair, and was enthralled by it, that he would've been willing to continue the masochistic infliction of pain on himself, were it not for the outside intervention that came in the form of tranquilizer darts that immobilized him just in time. However, how Hajime felt this despair eluded the white-haired boy.
Yes... What indeed could cause the great Hajime Hinata to despair so much that he decided to torture his glorious body?
The only other unconventional option he could think of…was brainwashing.
Nagito immediately opened his eyes and stood up from his seat. He decided to have a little chat with the Ultimate Animator about this.
…Just his luck!
Ryota walked in the hospital with uneasy wandering eyes. The bottom half of his face was hidden under a scarf that was wrapped around his neck while his fingers mindlessly fidgeted with the edges and creases of the wool covering his neck. Nagito approached him and smiled a welcoming smile towards him, not minding the fact that he looked like he was blocking his path since his arms were open wide. The feeble animator flinched from the white-haired boy's actions and took a step back.
"U-Ummm…" Ryota started. "…Can I h-help you, Komaeda-kun?"
"What do you think happened to Hinata-kun, Mitarai-kun?"
He stared elsewhere in deep thought. After a while he answered, "…I think… N-No! That can't be!"
Nagito flashed a smirk and chose to strike now with his lucky guess. "You think he was brainwashed, don't you?"
"How did you-"
"It was just a lucky guess." Nagito replied while crossing his arms in a relaxed manner. "From your reaction, it looks like it was right on the money, huh?"
The other kept his mouth shut. Nagito sighed and took his silence as a yes. He continued. "…Anyways, now that I know that it was brainwashing, I guess I'll have to assume too that you had a hand in all this, Mitarai-kun…" he paused for a while and gauged the other's expression. "…Unless, he animated the video himself and used the same techniques you used."
Ryota visibly curled up and buried his face deeper into his scarf. Even so, he remained silent.
"Jeez… you're making this more difficult for yourself. The answer is obvious, isn't it? You didn't animate the video, so it's either he borrowed your video or your technique."
"It's…the suicide video…"
Nagito's smile fell and his expression turned serious. "What was that?"
"I just got back from h-his cottage to look into the large monitor screen…" he spoke in a quiet and scared voice, filled with guilt. "…When I plugged it back in, I-I…"
"…You saw the lightning symbol from Hope's Peak Academy, didn't you?"
"Yes…"
He had connected most of the dots in his mind already. All he needed now was Hajime's input. "That's all I need to know." Nagito turned towards the hallways and bid farewell to the animator by waving his left arm towards him. "…Thank you for your cooperation, Mitarai-kun…"
He didn't hear whatever Ryota had muttered to him for he had already been too far away for him to understand the other's quiet voice.
"K-Komaeda-san…?" a voice shook the sleeping Nagito awoke. "…H-Hinata-san's waiting f-for you now."
Nagito remembered that Mikan was busy taking care of Hajime and that he fell asleep as he waited for her.
What a disgusting act. He even got his putrid drool all over the pillow he slept on. He took the pillow and apologized to Mikan for sullying the pillow that was meant for patients and not for visitors. Additionally, he opted to wash the pillow as restitution.
"Eeek...!" Mikan squealed and stole the pillow from his hands. "I-I'll wash it instead!!"
He wanted to do a face palm with his robotic hand in shame of his lack of foresight. He forgot that he might get his dirty infected hands on the pillow if he washed it. It would be better for the nurse to take care of the hospital commodities. He politely excused himself out of the hospital's resting room and once he was out of her sight, he rushed towards Hajime's room as fast as he could, thinking that the nurse was already turned off with his upsetting behavior.
Nagito noticed that the door to the patient's room was left slightly open, just enough to get a view of Hajime staring at the red-orange sky outside with a look sharing that of a petulant child who is in the middle of a scolding from his parents. The white-haired boy heard him sigh, which sounded like music to his ears.
Wait a minute. It's rude to peek in on a patient when they think that they are in a private place, isn't it?
He knocked on the door, to which Hajime replied, "The door's open." with an uninterested and unwelcoming voice.
Nagito accepted his welcome regardless and smiled at the other. "My, my, how our fates have interchanged, right Hinata-kun?"
Hajime's left eye glanced towards Nagito's half-lidded ones before returning its long gaze towards the window. He sat up and rested his back on the bed's headboard. He still avoided eye contact with the other.
"Close the door and lock it." he ordered sternly. "Make sure no one hears us."
Like the good dog that he is, he did as he was told. He then sat down on the floor beside the bed with his legs crossed and listened intently to what Hajime was going to say.
"Do you have anything else to ask aside from the "attacker" who tried to kill me?"
"Actually… I want to ask you about why you did what you did."
Hajime broke his sights away from the window and locked his white-hot gaze unto Nagito.
"Hinata-kun…" there was something strange that the white-haired boy noticed on the other's face, more specifically, "…your right eye…"
"You already know what happened. I don't need to explain everything."
"But I still need to know the why's." Nagito reasoned calmly. "You honestly don't expect me to chalk it off as you acting suicidal from boredom, do you?"
"How…" Hajime closed his eyes and sighed. "…Boring. What a boring answer…"
"I do wonder what you saw in that video, Hinata-kun…" Nagito asked provocatively. "…Or was it a who? Did you intend to kill yourself for hershe tell you?"
"I'd stop talking if I were you." Hajime growled as he reopened his eyes and glared at the smirking Nagito. "Perhaps you have forgotten what I am capable of?"
"I certainly haven't." he replied oh so innocently. "Neither will the others ever forget what you have done to us all, and most of all, neither will she."
He could see the anger and frustration twist his face with murderous proportions.
Just a little more…
Nagito stood up and raised both his hands to the side with a twisted smile and towered over the other. "Even with all that talent, you haven't changed one bit, Hinata-kun." he giggled breathily. "You're still the same heartless, selfish m-ghrk!"
Hajime's warm strong hands squeezed tight on Nagito's neck to kill the words that was going to come out of his filthy mouth. Within seconds of oxygen deprivation, his natural survival's instinct kicked in and struggled against the inescapable clutch that was slowly crushing his throat.
"I gave you the chance to shut up, didn't I?! And yet, you insist to get on my nerves, Komaeda! Go on! Say it! Say how much of a monster I am with your dying breaths!! SAY HOW LESS OF A HUMAN BEING I AM!!!"
"I…I…"
"COME ON! TELL ME! TELL THEM! SHOUT IT OUT LOUD SO SHE CAN HEAR!"
Nagito's arms that were trying to pry off his hand were threatening to slip off and fall from fatigue. His vision blurred into blushes. He saw his measly life flash before his very eyes. Death was quickly approaching, and with its speed came the full force of regrets. However, despite the internal turmoil Nagito was experiencing, he smiled towards Hajime.
I'm sorry… Hinata-kun.
Something compelled the other to release him. It was just in time too. Nagito was about to black out before being able to breathe easily once more. His head throbbed greatly and he broke into a coughing fit. The frail boy's legs felt light as he could not muster the strength to stand up. From beyond his messy hair, he saw Hajime cover his right eye, clearly in suffering since he was gritting his teeth from whatever pain he was feeling right now. The other opted to return to his bed and rest.
"Hinata-kun…?" Nagito asked in a rasped voice, rubbing his burning throat. "Are you alright? Should I go get-"
"Don't…!" he ordered still covering his right eye in pain. "Stay here…just for a while…"
"Are you sure? This could be ser-"
Nagito bit down on his lip and fled for Mikan urgently when he heard Hajime let out a roar amidst his erratic breathing gasps.
"Hinata-kun! Calm down! Listen to me!"
Get out of my head! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
"Stop! You're going to hurt more people if you don't let me help! You need to calm down and listen to me!"
Go AWAY!!
"I'm not leaving you alone anymore, not until you're back to normal! Please, Hinata-kun. This isn't like you at all!"
ARRGHHHH!!! STOP IT! STOP IT STOP IT STOPITSTOPITSTOPIT!!!
"Hinata-kun!!!"
…Ah...
Hajime blinked back and felt a coldness embrace him. He regained the vision of his right eye and reached up, with a quivering hand, to touch the skin below it. It felt wet - moist with liquid. It took him a second to register that his right eye was glistening and overflowing with tears. He gawked at the apparition that attempted physical contact on him. Even if she was a metaphysical apparition, he could still feel her warmth that was like the cold breeze of the hospital's air conditioner. The warmth he felt from her embrace suited this paradoxical moment. He cherished this moment and returned the embrace, his arms phasing through mere thin air.
"Are you finally back?" the ghost asked him, looking up into his teary eye.
"I am." he said, relishing in her comfort. "I am, Nanami."
"I'm glad you're back, Hinata-kun. Promise me you'll never do that again, ok?"
"I will."
Chiaki "passed through" his arms and knelt before the bed. She then morphed into the image of her human counterpart - this time, without those mortal wounds, and gently rested her hands on the empty space near Hajime. He relaxed himself and added, "…I'll listen this time."
She closed her eyes and took a breath of relief. "…Ok then. I just want you to know… that whatever bad things that I, or the others, might have said in there, those are not true." she reached her hand out towards his heart, resorting to levitating mid-air due to her lack of height and reach. "I'd never want you to die just so you can be with me. What I want… is for you to understand that you're human, Hinata-kun, Kamukura-kun."
His hand twitched at the mention of Izuru's name. Nevertheless, that didn't stop him from reaching out and pressing her untouchable hand over his chest.
She continued. "Even if you did horrible things in the past, even to me, I still forgive you. I don't want you to keep punishing yourself because of what happened. It's not helping you or me. I understand that Hinata-kun was just lost…and misguided…" the ghost looked down in shame. "…But, what matters now is that you're back. I'm glad. I'm really, really, glad for that, Hinata-kun."
A satisfied smile graced Hajime's callous expression when he heard those words. "Thank you..." he said. "…Also, I'm sorry for talking so coldly to you back then."
"It's fine." she reassured him with a thumbs-up. "But, you still need to talk to Komaeda-kun. I want you to apologize to him…and everyone else for making them worry about you. Tell them everything, ok?"
A chuckle escaped his throat before sighing dejectedly. "I'd be hearing the same thing over and over again... They'll not stop bothering with me with concerns about my mental health."
"Then, explain it to them. They'll listen to Hinata-kun." she then pouted at him. "They're not that insensitive, you know? I think they'll understand if you tell them everything."
He thought about it in silence. Her words had some truth in them after all. He trusted them enough to find his body before he died from blood loss. Perhaps he should stop doubting their comprehension. They've been through a lot together and they helped each other out through their recoveries from the scars of the past. They moved on from their sins and walked towards the future, hand-in-hand, for Chiaki. Why should he doubt them now? That would be an irrational course of action, wouldn't it?
His musings were interrupted by Nagito, Fuyuhiko, Mikan and Sonia entering his room with frantic expressions on their faces. He noticed too that Chiaki had suddenly disappeared from sight as soon as they appeared, as if she wasn't there in the first place. He let out another effortless breath to prepare for the next confrontation.
He turned towards the crowd at his side. Nagito and Mikan looked surprised from what they saw, considering how he looked like the last time they saw him open his eyes. Mikan melted under the overwhelming stare he was giving so he relented and spoke up. "…I'm sorry, Tsumiki, Komaeda. I wasn't myself back then-"
"You can say THAT again, dumbass." the former Ultimate Yakuza interrupted him with a tirade. "What the hell were you thinking watching that suicide video, huh?!"
Hajime abruptly looked back towards Fuyuhiko with a raised eyebrow, surprising Mikan as she held her arms up as if he was going to attack her. "…What?"
"Oh, you know, Mioda-san!" Nagito cheerfully explained to Hajime. "Apparently, she overheard both my conversation with Mitarai-kun and our most recent…" he hesitated and licked his lips bitterly. "…Meeting. She couldn't help spreading gossip, Hinata-kun."
"…Who else knows about this?"
"Every single one of us knows of what you did, Hinata-san." replied Sonia flatly. "Including what you did to Komaeda-san." the princess's poker face shattered as emotions ran wild in her next words. "Frankly, I do not like what has become of you! You were so kind and friendly to us! I demand an explanation this instant!"
"I see…" Hajime nodded thoughtfully. "Bring everyone here then. I'd much rather explain it all at once."
"Th-They're li-listening as we speak, H-Hinata-san." Mikan added as she hastily did a check-up on Hajime's body. "Mioda-san's j-just outside the door."
Gauging their words and their reactions, Hajime surmised that this matter was serious enough to become everyone's concern. He had expected this, even Ibuki's childish curiosity on anything that was kept as a secret from her. Still, he would prefer it if they didn't hear the truth from some idle gossip. He took one last look on the bandages on his arms and chest that came from his self-inflicted injuries. A look of determination flashed in his eyes.
He slid off his legs from the bed and pushed his body up with his arms so he was sitting at the side of the bed. Mikan wailed and tried to push him back to his bed but was stopped when Hajime held up his free hand. "No... It's better if they hear it from my mouth instead. I know that you guys want to hear the truth right now so I won't delay it any further..
Hajime then stood up and pulled the wheelchair towards him with his leg and sat down on it. Mikan immediately understood his intentions and assisted him by pushing both the IV stand and wheelchair outside. She still had her doubts about this. "A-Are you sure about this, H-Hinata-san? Your wounds are still r-recovering..."
He nodded in reply. Seeing this, the others vacated the room and told him that they'll meet him in the hospital lobby when he's ready.
"How is your r-right eye?"
"It's fine, Tsumiki. And my vision is perfectly normal."
"O-Ok... good for you."
That was a really awkward conversation. Hajime had literally half a mind to comment how unimportant it was since whatever happened to his eye didn't affect his vision at all, but it wasn't really that all unimportant as he had thought. He chalked it off as Mikan doing her job as his designated nurse. She was just trying to relieve some tension.
Surprisingly, he didn't notice how effective it was, actually. All he knew was that he was relieved that she was there behind him.
The awkwardness evaporated considerably once the crowd of 14 other Ultimates came into view. He examined every single one of them, as per his natural course of action. Aside from all the unique differences they had, one thing stood out in common: they were all furious at him. He was suddenly reminded of how they all looked at him when he watched that video.
Strange... considering how they all reacted when Nagito woke up from the program.
He gripped the sides of his wheelchair to brush off that troublesome recollection. She already told him that it wasn't true and that he had to stop punishing himself.
"So, NOW you're going to act like Komaeda?!" Hiyoko broke out first. "Is that what you're going to do?!"
Silence emerged from the lobby while Hajime stared intently into the dancer's soul, unaffected by her usual insults.
Don't be too hard on them, Hinata-kun…
Hajime looked over to the empty space beside Ryota's frail form and saw Chiaki smiling at him, cheering him on. A grin pulled his left cheek up. She just won't stop being there for everyone else, huh?
He softened his features then broke the silence. "…Where do you want me to start? My motives or what exactly happened?"
"Start wherever you like." Peko answered tersely. "We just want to know everything."
Hajime decided with the latter and relayed everything to them in excruciatingly accurate detail, not bothering to spare the gruesome details such as what he saw in that video, what they and Chiaki had said to him, how he had planned to kill himself, and the bloody struggle between his insanity and Izuru to survive for five minutes that resulted in the injuries on his body. He spoke slowly and watched as the truth sunk in for them. Suffice to say, they were incredibly disturbed. They didn't like the image of a despair-crazed Hajime Hinata bent on causing despair for everyone and himself. Some of them even looked at him as if he was even more insane than Nagito himself.
As usual, that person stood at the sidelines with his arms crossed, listening intently and refusing to add his input. Externally, he was unperturbed but Hajime knew that the lucky student's thoughts betrayed his expression. Such is a cinch for Talent himself after all.
"Shit... Hinata..." Kazuichi muttered guiltily. "…We didn't know…"
The tense mood in the atmosphere dampened to a rather sad one.
"Do you want me to continue?"
The expressions on their faces said that it was a very clear "No", save for one.
"Yes."
Hajime didn't need to look to find out who said that. Well, regardless of whether they declined, he would've still continued the story not because he wanted them to suffer, but because the next part was incredibly important for him. It was the mystery about himself that he sought to resolve once and for all.
He already knew what their answer was going to be and that he had already found his answer from his little experiment yet their answer was of great importance.
Remember, Hinata-kun, Kamukura-kun… You guys are human.
"Now that you all know what happened, what do you think of me? Am I still the same monster who watched Nanami Chiaki wither slowly in front of me, or am I the kind and gentle human that you all consider a friend?"
"So, this whole shit was what got Mr. Smartass to be suicidal, huh?" Fuyuhiko scoffed then spat at the ground. "Well, at least now I know that you're fucking stupid-"
"Kuzuryuu-san! How much more insensitive can you be?!" Sonia shouted in an attempt to scold the yakuza.
"Dumbass! Let me finish next time!" he shouted back at the princess before turning his glare towards Hajime. "I was gonna say that he's fucking stupid enough to be a human. There. Happy?"
That...was actually funny.
Hajime laughed at that answer. He wasn't all that wrong. Didn't he also admit that this was a big mistake in the first place?
"Oi, what's so funny, bastard?!"
"I just think it's funny how those words mean something to me now," Hajime replied with a distant smile. "Unlike before."
Mahiru sighed, unable to retain her authoritative scorn towards him. "…Honestly, Hinata? You're such a dense guy. All of this could have been avoided if you just listened to us."
"Or do ya want me to punch it into your head next time?!" Akane added threateningly.
"Oooh! Or how 'bout I sing it to Hajime-chan instead?! That settles it! I'll dedicate my next song for Hajime-chan's humanity!" said Ibuki who, of course, didn't bother to wait for Hajime's reply.
"But…" Ryota stepped in. "…He didn't say anything yet…?"
And off they went to another ten minutes of incessant chattering amongst each other.
Ah…
There's that familiar scenery at Jabberwock Island.
A heavy slap on his shoulder and a hamster chirping at his other shoulder brought him back to earth. "Gahaha! Glad to have you back, Hinata!"
"Heh. I can say the same thing."
"Listen to what Maga-Z is telling you, Hinata." said Gundham who was now on his other side. "Life is precious, no matter how mundane it may seem in your eyes. To simply throw it away for a simple answer to a simple question is simply a foolish act. Remember these words for as long as you may live, cursed one, for I shall see to it that your soul be tortured for eternity the next time you attempt such a zany thing!"
The deva that was on his shoulder then jumped back inside Gundham's thick scarf as the owner retreated to the now dusky world outside. Nekomaru soon followed the breeder after a while.
"Hey, Tsumiki?" he called put to the nurse behind her. "Could you bring me back? It's getting too noisy for me."
She nodded hurriedly and carefully wheeled him back to his room. He thanked her and tucked himself into the bed against her insistence to assist him. He could manage this task himself, thank you very much. Instead, she opted to return the wheelchair to its spot and left the room.
As soon as the door closed he called out another name. "It's pointless to hide from me, Komaeda, if that was your intention."
"Ahahaha! As expected of the former Ultimate Hope!"
The chuckling Nagito emerged from the blind spot inside the room and walked closer to the bed until half of his face was visible from the light outside. "Of course, trash like me can only dream of admiring your beauty unnoticed!"
"You can say that again." he dryly stated at an attempt at sarcasm. "So, what brings you back here?"
"Well, I came here to inform you that I destroyed the suicide video." he replied. "After hearing your story, I thought of stealing back the video. But I decided against it since I could practically feel the despair exuding from it!"
Hajime smirked at Nagito's blatant intention to get him to be proud of the other of doing such a thoughtful act. "Thanks."
"You're welcome, Hinata-kun!" he practically drooled from such a simple gesture of gratitude. "Ah, but I don't deserve such thanks from a great symbol of hope such as you…"
Old habits die hard, he guesses. He'll need to talk to Nagito about that someday, but not now. Now, however, he needs to apologize.
"Look, Komaeda…" he started with a twinge of guilt following his words. "…About earlier… I'm sorry."
Nagito waved his prosthetic hand casually. "Not to worry about that, Hinata-kun. I deserve as much for provoking you like that."
Hajime shook his head. Of course he didn't understand. "…You're one of the first people who approached me when I would start thinking about…her…" he gulped down that last word and continued. "After everything we've been through together, you're different from the rest of them. I just stand around at the sidelines and observe the others become closer to each other. No one really bothered to keep my mind off of my guilt, except for you, Komaeda." he sighed as he stated his next words with a voice of distance. "…I guess that's one of the reasons why I started to question my humanity. Their words felt meaningless and empty to me. How could it ever mean anything to me when they made no attempt at helping me deal with my guilt?"
"Really, Hinata-kun…" he raised his arms over his chest with an embarrassed look. "…You flatter me too much!"
"Don't you realize that I could've fallen deeper had I killed you right then and there?"
"Oh…" Nagito's arms fell and stared blankly at Hajime for a while. "…I never realized that."
"You and Nanami… you both are special to me. One of them is gone now and I can't just keep thinking about her, especially right now since we have to live on this island for who knows how long. I need you with me, Komaeda. I may be the most talented person in their eyes, but I still need you and everyone else. We'll need each other."
Nagito smiled and took Hajime's hand into his thinly fleshed hand and grasped it tightly. This was something the lucky student can give that Chiaki couldn't. Hajime was extremely happy for this.
"If that's what you want, I'll be with you, Hinata-kun."
He then let go and exited the room, waving the other a blessing for a pleasant night in this dreary hospital. Now, he was all alone once more, until Mikan would come back to check up on him. He closed his eyes and decided on a good night's sleep.
Throughout his sleep, he didn't notice the others take turns in entering his room and leaving him gifts and encouraging messages for him to "Get well soon!" or "Stay positive!". One thing he did notice, was that he felt two people kiss his cheek in the middle of the night simultaneously. One of them felt colder and more ephemeral than the other…
…Like a light breeze washing over his right cheek for a momentous second…
A/N: Before you ask, yes, the title is a direct reference to Samuel's first skill in Vainglory.
And yes, this is one of the darkest fics I've written and my friends who read this gave me a timeout. I'll even tell you what happened between us via chat fic.
Definitely NOT Danganronpa fans
Des: Sooooo, whatcha guys think?
Alflf: …
KitKat: …
Alflf: I hate it
KitKat: Me too
Des: HUH?! WHYYYYY??!!
Alflf: Too dark. Needs more fluff
Des: But… I wanna write something despair-inducing…
KitKat: I am in despair from how bad it is. Go back to writing fluffy Hinanami or Komahina.
Alflf: Besides, I don't think despair fics suit you. You write better when it's sweet and cute.
KitKat: And take a damn break from the angst and edgy s*t Des. You need it.
Des: I hate chu guys… (༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ)
KitKat: We love ya too Des :)
Alflf: We love ya too Des :)
I hate it when they treat me like I'm their little brother…
That's exactly how the conversation in our group chat went.
But hey, at least I didn't post it during Chiaki's birthday right?
C-Come on guys, I'm not that messed up in the head...