A/N: This is my first proper foray into writing. I'm intending for it to be a series of linked oneshots about the Marauders' time at Hogwarts (and possibly immediately afterwards) with a main emphasis on Remus and Sirius. I hope it's enjoyable - any feedback would be very much appreciated.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I'm not J. K. Rowling - I know, I know, I'm disappointed too. So everything but a few plot lines and original characters belongs to her, not me.

October of 6th Year, Gryffindor Common Room

"Let me guess – Sirius Watch?"

Remus started and looked up sharply from his position on the sofa next to the stairs to the boys' dorms, only to see a familiar green-eyed redhead falling back onto the cushion next to him.

"That obvious, am I?" he deadpanned, returning his gaze to Advanced Transfiguration and trying to ignore the flush of embarrassment rising to his face. Virtually anyone but Lily would have been fooled by Remus' almost-perfect masking of his emotions – but then again anyone but Lily wouldn't have known him well enough to figure out what he'd really been doing whilst pretending to study. Well, maybe James. Or Sirius. Come to think of it, thank God they weren't looking over right now.

"Only to me, you daft sod," she shot back playfully, reaching over to ruffle his hair. "You worry far too much, Rem, you know that?"

Remus gave up the pretence of reading and closed his book, slotting it into his bag and looking up at his friend, a wry smile on his face.

"Yeah, you know what, you're right Lils – what have I got to worry about really? It's not like I've got to loads to hide or anything, is it?" He stopped abruptly, as if he'd only just remembered something, "You know, apart from the whole sneaking off once a month to turn into a savage, bloodthirsty monster thing. Or the having a ridiculous crush on my very male, very heterosexual best friend thing, I suppose."

As he finished talking, he glanced back over to James and Sirius, sitting in their favourite sofa by the fire and chatting away to Dorcas Meadowes. Again, anyone but Lily would have believed the sarcastic tone of his voice, would have missed the undercurrent of hurt running beneath his attempt at flippancy. But, then again, maybe that was why she was one of the only people he was truly open with – because she cared enough to notice when he felt like shit, no matter how much he tried to hide it.

Lily dropped the teasing expression and shifted closer to her friend, snuggling her head into his shoulder in what she hoped was a comforting gesture.

"You don't know he's straight Rem," she replied, "I mean you've said it yourself – he's never exactly had a girlfriend, has he? And he obviously cares about you. I mean come on, you told him you're gay ages ago and he hasn't backed off one bit. Much as I think he's an immature prat, I've got to put that one in his favour – if he isstraight he's got more balls than most guys in our year would show for sticking by you."

Remus nodded thoughtfully. The same dilemma as ever was running through his mind, and they'd repeated this conversation enough times that he knew his next line well enough for it to bypass his brain on its way out.

"Yeah, I told him more than a year ago."

"Well it clearly didn't freak him out or anything, did it? I mean you guys are still as close as ever!"

The werewolf nodded again, considering the thought for a second before shaking his head with a jolt and lifting Lily's head off of his shoulder to look her in the eyes.

"Will you just stop it! You always do this, you always try to raise my hopes like this!" He passed a hand over his face, running a hand through his hair to distract from the pained expression he knew was shooting across his features. "He's straight Lily, just look at him, flirting with Dorcas all because she went and grew a pair of tits over the summer! I've got to get over the idea that I'm never going to get him, and you know what? It's not exactly easy when I've got you trying to convince me that I just might have a chance every time I feel crap about it all!"

Remus stopped at the hurt expression on his friend's face, realising he'd gone too far.

"Well sorry, I was only trying to-"

"No, don't apologise Lil," he cut her off "we both know it's me who should be apologising. I'm sorry for snapping, I just…it just gets to me sometimes." He finished lamely.

Lily smiled back at him sympathetically. "It will get better, Rem. You'll get over him…you know, sometime."

He let out a short chuckle at that. "Yeah, sometime, eh? It's just really hard to when...ugh! He's just not like everyone else! You know when I've told the others – James and Pete, I mean – I'm gay? Well they've both said it doesn't matter, that I'm still the same person and all that crap. And don't get me wrong, I'm really grateful my friends are like that – God only knows most guys wouldn't be so accepting. But of course it changes the relationship, like from then on whenever we hug it'll just be some shitty one-armed pat on the back, and when we're walking next to each other there'll be more space between us and stuff-"

Lily frowned as she interrupted him. "Wait, no! Rem that's stupid! Guys shouldn't do that just because you're gay, that's ridiculous – there's no way in hell I'd be like that with, I dunno, Dorcas, if she ever came out to me. Just cos you're gay doesn't mean you're going to jump any guy that gets too close to you!"

Remus grin forced a grin at her indignation on his behalf, desperate to mask how much his closest friends' behaviour upset him.

"No, Lil it's normal – look, it's just…different with guys than with girls. I mean I totally understand where it's coming from – God knows, I'd probably do the same if the positions were reversed. It's just…well Sirius never did any of that after I told him. We stayed exactly the same as before, he never stopped hugging me just as tightly as before, never avoided physical contact, never…well I guess never treated me like I had something that was contagious. And don't get me wrong, the fact that he's still normal with me means more to me than anything – it's just the difference between that and how the other guys treat me makes it kinda hard to convince myself that nothing could ever happen between us, you know?"

Lily looked at him, a little lost for words – she'd never heard her usually reserved friend open up this much.

"It'll work out Rem," she offered, inwardly cringing at her inability to give him anything other than overused clichés, "You'll be fine with it in the end, you'll see. God, he's a twat for doing this to you." She reached around his shoulders and hugged him tightly, trying to make up for her lack of comforting words with actions.

"Yeah, I'll get over it," Remus replied, patting her on the back and breaking away from the embrace to smile somewhat bitterly at her again. "And he's not a twat, he's just…straight. It's not like we can exactly blame him for that one is it?"

"Well I definitely can, I blame that pair for pretty much everything that goes wrong around here," Lily shot back, glancing over to James and Sirius with narrowed eyes before softening her expression as she looked on Remus once more. Then, looking down at her watch, she started and jumped up from her seat straight away.

"Shit! I was supposed to be out patrolling fifteen minutes ago! Ugh, Merlin, it's my first one of the year and I'm already late, McGonagall's gonna murder me….Shit!"

Remus laughed, genuinely amused for the first time all evening, before looking at his friend in mock horror.

"Miss Evans! Such foul language, and from a fellow prefect no less? Whatever is this school coming to? Careful now or I'll have to dock points from my own house."

Lily glared back at him and showed him her middle finger, hurriedly shoving her things into her back in an attempt to get out of the Common Room before McGonagall came looking for her.

"Foul language? Bloody hypocrite," she muttered, swinging her bag over her shoulder.

"Hey, least I didn't nearly miss my first patrol of the year." Remus replied, poking his tongue out playfully as she all but ran past him, before grabbing her arm and pulling her into a hug. "But thanks for being late for me. It means a lot, you know?"

The redhead attempted a glare back at him, but couldn't help her expression from softening before she darted off to the portrait hole. If she was honest, even she had had little idea of how much Remus' situation was getting to him these days, and made a mental note to talk to him about it more often in the hopes he would open up again.

Remus sighed as he sank into the sofa and reached down to extract Advanced Transfiguration from his bag once more, only to be interrupted by a shout from the sofa by the fire.

"Moony! Put that fucking book away, you've abandoned me and Prongs for long enough!"

He looked up just in time to see Sirius running towards him, before vaulting over the back of his sofa and landing directly onto Remus' lap.

"Hello Sirius," he replied, rolling his eyes theatrically and trying to ignore the flush rising to his face from having the animagus in such close proximity to him, whilst simultaneously trying to push away the thought that at least blood rushing to his face kept it away from somewhere it would evoke a far more awkward response. "What's up?"

"Mooooonyyyyy," Sirius whined in a voice that would be annoying to anyone else, but that Remus somehow found endearing, "You're spending too much time with these bloody books! Come out into the grounds with me and Prongs instead and do something fun!"

Remus groaned, this time genuinely exasperated. "Sirius, it's way after curfew! You know McGonagall's going to have us skinned alive if she catches us one more time."

But the battle was lost before Remus had even begun it – with Sirius giving him puppy dog eyes, he knew he'd never be able to say no to anything the boy asked.

"Fine," Remus sighed, "Go and get the invisibility cloak, but God help you if we get another detention for this! I'm supposed to be a bloody prefect."

Sirius punched the air triumphantly, giving Remus' shoulder a tight squeeze before leaping off his lap and towards the stairs to the boys' dorms.

"Knew we could count on you Remy!"

Remus sighed once more and pinched the bridge of his nose, before getting up off the sofa and slinging his bag over his shoulder. It seemed like every time he and Sirius talked alone, no matter how briefly or jokingly, it got harder to stop himself from longing to be closer to the other boy. He shot a wistful glance up the staircase where Sirius had disappeared, wondering if the animagus would ever find out how deeply he cared for him. He prayed that he wouldn't, whilst simultaneously hating himself more than a little for the wish. Still, it was better this way, he tried to convince himself. This way he got to keep one of the only true friends he'd ever had. Somehow, even that was ceasing to be such a comforting thought.