Author's Note: This is an AU/Canon Divergence fic that takes elements from the end of Nadia's route, the beginning of Asra's route and diverges on Chapter X Part II of Julian's Route. This also changes the Apprentice's backstory slightly and adds in a few new elements, such as Asra, Julian and the Apprentice working together to cure the plague. In short, this fic has a lot of spoilers. If you haven't finished at least one route, it's gonna spoil a lot. This has been a spoiler warning. Also, this is not the backstory I have for my apprentice Aria. She's just a perfect candidate for really angsty aus. XD
The scent of mold and stagnant water was the first thing Aria smelled as she carefully picked her way down the stairwell and deeper into the dungeons. Somewhere in there lay the key to proving Julian's innocence to Nadia and the rest of Vesuvia. His proof? A cure to the devastating plague that Julian had discovered the night of Count Lucio's murder.
Aria knew next to nothing about the plague. The gap in her memories conveniently overlapped with the darkest days in the city's history. All she was certain of was that it decimated the population, leaving the city with a melancholy sort of grief. The bodies were cremated at the Lazaret to prevent the spread of disease and due to a lack of suitable burial ground. The victims had dark red eyes.
Red eyes. Just like the eye Julian hid under his eyepatch.
Red eyes. Just like the ones of the ghost that haunted Lucio's ash bathed wing.
A sharp pang hit her temple, causing her to double over and clutch at the grimy wall as she gasped for breath. The light she had been providing was immediately snuffed out, leaving them in complete darkness. Julian had been eagerly leading the way down, but he immediately stopped and whirled around.
"Aria," Julian sputtered, confusion just as evident as his surprise. "Aria, what's wrong?"
She wanted to reply. She wanted to explain to him that her migraines were attached to her lack of memory and that if provoked, they would rattle her brain in a way more painful than ever imaginable. She felt as if a hot nail was being driven deep into her brain, scorching the entire right side of her face. Aria weakly opened her mouth, but all that came out was a shuddering gasp of pain.
"H-Hey, hey." His voice seemed to rattle around in her head, but he sounded like he was underwater. It was loud enough to assume he was close to her head and after a moment or two, she could feel a pair of hands gently take hold of her sides. "Take it easy, now. Show me what hurts, okay?"
The heat raced down her side, pulsing even under her beloved snake arm band. The metal felt cool from the dungeons for the moment, causing a distinct contrast in temperature. Noticing it gave her a second to distract herself from the pain. Aria shakily found one of his hands and brought it up to her temple before she returned to painfully clutching her head.
"Your head," he asked softly, lowering his voice.
She squeezed his gloved hand and tried to remember what Asra had taught her to combat the searing pain in her head. She let her legs buckle, but Julian quickly caught her with his free arm. Faintly, she could feel herself slide down his side and come to sit on one of the wet stairs. She fought to pace her breathing and slow her thoughts as best as she could.
Julian must have sat beside her, for the pressure under his hands changed. "Right. Pace your breathing. Just relax. I'm right here." His voice didn't sound so faint now, but his words brought a new wave of pain to her temple. Aria let a groan of pain slip from her lips before she bit down on her lip and tried to breathe in an even rhythm.
There was no way of telling how long it took for the pain to ease with her eyes screwed shut. Gingerly, she relaxed her face and opened her eyes. It would have been dark either way, so she might as well stop pinching her face so tight.
Aria's heart burned in her chest.
The steps downward into the dungeons were clearly visible, far more so than they had when she had been lighting the way with her magic. Every crack and mossy patch was distinct. Her boots, Julian's pants, her sleeve, her cloak's cape...she could see it all.
Everything was in black and white.
It was if the color had been squeezed out of everything by a vice. The pain in her head seemed nearly nonexistent now. She carefully lifted her gaze to Julian's face. Could she see that, too?
Julian was furrowing his brow and pursing his lips, sitting in silence. Her ears started ringing as she instinctively leaned away.
She could see his red eye, despite it still being under his eyepatch.
Julian's brow softened just as she turned her head away and slammed her eyes shut. "Aria?" She let go of her temple, freeing his hand. Carefully, they fell to her shoulders. After a moment, she could feel him rubbing a circle with his thumb over her sleeved right arm. "How do you feel," he whispered.
Aria stubbornly opened her eyes again and found herself staring into the gaping black maw of the stairs. Relief washed over her as the throbbing dulled into a soft pulsing. Risking her luck, she held out her hand and channeled another orb of light to guide them down the stairs.
A harsh, gaudy shade of red engulfed the small corridor. The cool feeling in her chest was quickly scorched over. Angrily, she clutched her palm shut and extinguished the light just as quickly as it appeared.
"Aria," Julian repeated, his voice a bit harsher, more urgent. "Are you all right?"
The apprentice closed her eyes and drew in a long breath. She let her mouth open slightly for just a moment to test if moving her jaw brought the pain in her head back. Nothing. The pain ebbed away into nothing just as abruptly as it had arrived. She let her left hand lift to her shoulder and find Julian's own. She gave his hand a quick squeeze.
"I'm sorry," she rasped. "The pain is gone. I'm fine now. I promise."
Julian let her words hang in the air for a moment before he scooted closer to her. "That...was that a migraine," he asked carefully.
"Yeah," Aria admitted. She paused and tried to wet her throat by swallowing a few times, but it didn't help the tight, cracked feeling. "I get them sometimes. Asra taught me how to cope with them," she admitted. "It was just sudden, that's all."
"Are they triggered by light or sound?" His hands grew still. "Light seems a bit out of the question with how soft your magic was... Was I too loud," he asked worriedly. "I know I haven't exactly been quiet since I remembered the cure. If I caused your migraine I—"
She quickly cut him off by bringing her face towards his, letting herself turn towards him. Her hand still stubbornly held his. "It wasn't your fault, Julian," she reassured him, albeit a bit roughly. The last thing she wanted was for him to start spiraling. He needed to focus on remembering what happened that night.
At least one of them could.
"I get migraines when I try to remember things from my past sometimes," she confessed. "I... I don't remember anything that happened beyond three years ago. I don't have any clue what happened in Vesuvia during the time the Count was alive, the plague... None of it."
She could only imagine Julian was frowning in the darkness beside her. It seemed like what he would do. "So, you're missing memories, too," he asked softly.
"A lot of them," she answered. "The furthest back I can remember, Asra was pulling me close to him and holding me." She grew quiet. She didn't often talk about Asra around Julian, not after seeing memories that had been attached to several books in the library. She knew they had been close once—more than close. She didn't know what had driven such a wedge between them now. Aria felt insensitive to ramble on about her master when they had apparently had a falling out.
She forced herself to talk again, to break the silence. "That was years ago, from what I've gathered. The thing is, I wasn't trying to remember anything from before then. I had just been thinking and the pain started," she said. Absently, she rubbed her thumb over Julian's gloved fingers, his palace disuse's much softer than his own gloves. "That's only the second time I've ever had that happen to me without trying to remember."
"When was the first," Julian asked carefully.
"When I first went up into Lucio's wing," she breathed. "His dogs Mercedes and Melchior were sitting at the end of the stairs. They seemed so sad. I just stepped towards them and tried to comfort them; I talked gently to them, reached out to pet them." Aria huffed in embarrassment. "Portia had told me that they could be moody. I didn't listen. I thought they were just heartbroken about the Count, you know?"
"I guess I could see that." Julian paused. "Though in the time I've known you, you've always seemed to love animals. Pepi certainly took a shine to you rather fast."
Aria's lip twitched in an embarrassed smile. "Yeah..." Her smile faded. "After I pet them, they grabbed my clothes in their mouths and dragged me up the stairs," she continued softly. "I've never seen a dog do that before."
"I never remember them doing anything near that," Julian said with muted concern. "They were always a bit rough or excitable; they were Lucio's hunting hounds, after all. Not once can I recall them pulling someone up a flight of stairs."
Aria found herself squeezing Julian's hand tighter. Sometime while they were talking, his hand had ended up in hers and their fingers had intertwined. She held his hand tight for a few seconds before she eased her grip and continued to talk. "When I went up there, it was covered in ash. The whole thing had this horrible, dark feeling swirling around in the air." She paused and moved a bit closer to him. "You remember seeing the portraits, right?"
"With the eyes gouged out," Julian added somberly. "Yes, I can't quite forget them."
"I can't forget them either." She bit at her lip. "There was something in there. I...I saw it." She pointedly remembered the image of the Count's hounds circling her instead of anything that had to do with the ghost. She didn't want to trigger another headache.
Julian's other hand was suddenly in her hair, playing with her curls. Aria initially moved away from surprise before she quickly pressed her cheek against his wrist. He didn't pull away. Instead, he continued wrapping her hair around his fingers. "T-That's what made the horrible noise we heard, isn't it? That's why you changed the subject when I asked about it."
"It is," she replied darkly. "It's a hideous thing. There's something terribly wrong with it. There's this pitch black aura around it." She chuckled, the sound sour. "Asra warned me about ghosts. It's the worst part of being a magician, he said. I'd have to say I agree with him."
Julian hummed unhappily. "I can't blame you. I suppose you haven't told the Countess that her deceased husband's wing is haunted, have you?"
"Absolutely not," Aria answered. "I wouldn't dare tell her until or unless I know what it wants or how to get rid of it." She unclenched the hand at her side and carefully summoned another orb of light, making a point to think of only positive things as she did do. The room slowly grew brighter as a soft white light hovered in her palm. She audibly sighed in relief. "Now when I remembered what the ghost looked like, it triggered a migraine. There's gotta be something I'm missing in this puzzle."
She looked up at Julian's face beside her. He stared at her thoughtfully, his gaze serious but still soft. "I know you can figure it out, whatever it is," he said with conviction. "You're bringing my memories back, Aria, piece by piece. I'll bring yours back, too."
Aria smiled softly and leaned into the crook of Julian's neck. "Thank you," she breathed. When she pulled away, she could see that his face was bright pink. "Speaking of memories, how about we go find that cure of yours?"
The embarrassment melted from the doctor's face and instead it lit up with his quintessential grin. "Right. That cure is going to be our key, I just know it."
Cautiously, they rose from the steps and stared down the corridor again. Aria could feel a wet spot on her cloak from where she had been pressed against the wall and the steps. She assumed that Julian could feel it too through his borrowed servant's uniform. She idly wondered why it was so damp, but on second thought, perhaps it was best not to know where the water came from. The smell was bad enough already.
Pulling herself from her thoughts, she steeled herself and took a step down with a renewed determination to find Julian's cure for the plague. She momentarily glanced back when she felt Julian take her hand again, but she kept leading the way.
Eventually, the stairs ended and brought them to a grim and filthy expanse. The floor here was nothing but dirt and thus, mud. Aria grimaced before she looked back expectantly at Julian. Would he know where to go from here?
His eye was sharp with thought as he pressed his eyebrows together. After a few moments, realization dawned on his face. He turned his attention down at Aria. "I remember where to go from here," he told her confidentially. "I can lead the way."
Aria nodded. "That's fine by me. I'll light the way beside you."
Julian's smile softened. "Thank you."
Just then, a horrible noise shook the walls of the dungeon. Aria found her body freezing up in panic as Julian tensed beside her. After the last echoes faded from the walls, they exchanged a disbelieving glance.
"You don't think the ghost can get down here, do you," Aria asked softly.
Julian's expression darkened with something unreadable as he took a step closer to her and pulled her closer to him. "No, that's not a ghost." She stumbled into his side and looked up at him, momentarily wishing he was still wearing his overcoat so she would have a place to hide from that gnashing, wailing sound. His lips pulled back into a grimace. "There's some type of horrible beast that lives down here," he said coldly after a few moments. "I can remember it running amuck down here while I was working. It's nothing we'd want to run into."
"Oh, joy," Aria chuckled sarcastically. "A ghost and now a beast. This palace is full of surprises."
Julian chuckled with about the same tone as her. "Isn't it?" He sighed. "Just stay near me. If we find it, I can distract it so you can get away."
The hair on the back Aria's neck pricked up with fear. "No way!" Her face contorted into something a bit sour. "I'm not letting you throw yourself at some...some beast! I'll fight it off!"
Their eyes met and she could see this sad look in his eye, something so similar to the look he had gave her when he had nearly thrown himself at Nadia's feet when they had been cornered in the library. Her stomach twisted into a knot. She knew that it would be an uphill battle to keep Julian from trying to sacrifice himself when things got bad, but the stress of it was like a sewing needle stuck in her thumb.
"I appreciate the thought, Aria, but I'd be fine. I can heal, remember?" His hand drifted to her cheek and she closed her eyes for just a moment to indulge in the feeling of his hand against her skin. "I'd rather it be me than you."
"It won't have to be either of us," she murmured. "I'm a magician, remember?" She opened her eyes again and carefully pulled away. "I have a few tricks up my sleeve."
Julian's eyebrows lifted before he smirked. "Your one sleeve," he pointed out.
"It's a long sleeve," she defended.
Aria snapped her fingers together and a spark jumped from them and dissipated into the air. She frowned. "Oh, come on," she muttered. She snapped her fingers again, this time more insistent and rougher. This time, her hand roared to life with a large amount of fire. It cackled and licked at her fingertips as she proudly presented it to Julian. It cast large swathes of shadow across his face, making his eye look swollen and stark. "I can channel fire," she told him proudly. "This is a bit smaller than what I can do, but I can throw this at it."
Julian's surprise melted into a dash of confidence. "That could be useful." The confidence flickered out. "Though this beast is quite large. I don't know if a fire that size will dissuade it."
Aria's pride faltered before she looked back at Julian. "Well, I can do this," she said as the flames crawled up her arm. Julian's eye widened in horror. "I could make it spread all over my body if I really needed to," she explained. Worry crept up her spine. "I've never tried without being near a lot of water, but I won't burn. I don't feel a thing."
"I'd rather not see you set yourself on fire for our sakes, Aria," Julian said shakily. "Do you know how to do a spell that's...significantly less flammable?"
Aria let the fire snuff itself out, leaving the room bright with only the orb of light once again. "I can make barriers, but that's more defensive. It should still give us time to push our way into a corridor away from it, though." She paused and looked at Julian, her turquoise eyes wide. "There are other corridors, right?"
The doctor looked a bit more relieved and accepting of this plan. "Oh yeah. This place is like a catacomb. There's branching paths everywhere." His lips quirked downward. "That's why we need to stay close."
The apprentice nodded her head and idly pulled on her brown hair. "I understand. We should go find that cure now. I'd hate to leave Portia waiting on us too long," she murmured. She glared up at the ceiling. "And I don't quite like the atmosphere of this place."
Julian stepped toward Aria with a renewed sense of determination. "Right. Pasha is waiting for us." He grinned down at her. "Let's find my old room in the dungeons, shall we?"
Aria smiled back and took his hand again. "Let's," she replied. "Lead the way, Doctor Devorak."
Julian wheezed a laugh as he started to lead them further into the darkness. "I haven't heard that in a while."
The walk deeper in was rather quiet. Aria kept her eyes peeled for any signs of the monstrous or supernatural, but the murky darkness proved to be empty save for them and a few straggling rats. She made a point to step around them as they boldly skittered about. Julian seemed unfazed, but when she glanced up at him, she could see his face looking dark, his mind haunted by thoughts unknown.
Julian stopped abruptly and looked around the room. "There should be some torches around here," he told Aria with a mutter. "Do you think that you could light them like you did with the lanterns in Lucio's room?"
Aria nodded. "I don't see why not. Let's hope these don't mysteriously extinguish themselves, too."
"Ah, uh, let's not tempt them."
She closed her eyes for a moment and imagined the light in her hand spreading out like the seeds of a dandelion in the wind. She could feel the magic catch on a few torches that were on the walls. When she opened her eyes, she could see that the torches had indeed been lit. Dread crawled up her neck as she noticed a horrible red tinge to the light. It clung to the walls and turned the mud puddles scattered in the earthen floor into dubious bloodstains. The sight unnerved her, but she kept her mouth shut. The last thing Aria wanted was for Julian to think that bringing her along was a mistake.
Aria initially lifted her gaze to look to Julian for some sort of reaction. Was it just her imagination? Why was she seeing so much red? When she looked to him, she found his eye was drawn instead to a large and elaborate contraption. Much of it had become rusted and worn after years in the dark and wet. It was most certainly powered more by magic than the abandoned machinery. Regardless, it provided a horrible sense of foreboding.
"Well, this is it," Julian sighed. He carefully reached inside his jacket and pulled out the black key with the red stone that he had retrieved from his desk in the library. Her skin crawled as he carefully stepped forward and found a hidden keyhole with no trouble at all. He paused before he turned it and looked back at her.
Aria crept forward and found a place next to him. She placed her hand on his arm, causing him to pause and look at her. "Whatever lies beyond this pit is our key to proving your innocence, Julian," she told him softly. "We're so close."
"Innocence," Julian echoed, his voice bitter. His gaze dropped to the floor. "I might not have killed the Count, but I can feel that there's something else, something dark."
Her brow furrowed as she reached for the key. "Julian, that's not true. Please, don't talk like that."
He forced out a mouthful of air in disbelief. "I'm missing entire years in my memory," Julian continued, insistent. "You must know how that feels. The uncertainty. The...the fear. What have I done? What did I do for years? I'm absolutely clueless. Regardless, I can feel the guilt of something pressing against me. I felt nothing when we were in Lucio's room, but that might just be because my crimes, whatever they are, didn't happen there. I'm guilty of something, I know it."
Aria bit at her lip as it quivered. She fought to keep her eyes from watering. "Of course I know how that feels, Julian. You can't assume the worst because of it." She turned her eyes to the keyhole. A small plaque was above it, but she didn't stop to read the inscription. Instead, she grabbed the key in her hand and turned it, forcing the gate open. Julian spun around and bore a hole into her back. "You'll remember. I'm sure we both will."
Her skin itched. She turned back and looked at Julian. The confusion and horror in his gaze made her heart sink. "What's wrong," she asked worriedly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You're..." Julian's voice shook. "You're not supposed to be able to open that door."
Aria raised an eyebrow and looked back at the gate, staring at the opening she had made within it. "What do you mean? I'm stronger than I look, remember?" She playfully grabbed his arm and squeezed, trying to lighten the mood by reminding him of the time she had caught him in her shop a second time. Despite this, his face remained a horrible pale shade.
Julian slowly shook his head. "No. No, you don't understand. There's some sort of spell on the door." He carefully walked towards her, his eye never leaving her face. "It keeps anyone out that doesn't... that hasn't..." He carefully rested his hands on her shoulders and rubbed them with his thumbs again, but this time, the gesture seemed shaky. He drew in a breath. "There's an inscription on this gate." He took a step closer to it and brushed off the plaque. "Bloody hands may turn the key. Know the weight of your sins, and enter," he read to her, his eye hesitating before looking back at her face.
His voice became hoarse. "That's what I was trying to tell you. You couldn't follow me because it would have only let me in."
The dread from before swallowed Aria whole. Her legs shook and she nearly swept backwards before she adjusted her stance. Blood? On her hands? She found herself chuckling in disbelief. "Are you teasing me again, Julian," she asked him, her voice quivering. Something cold settled into her stomach. "That can't be the case."
His gaze softened as he recovered from his initial shock. "Aria, I'm being entirely serious with you. As I said, I must have past this contraption so many times. I know how it works." He pointed to the plaque. "You can read it for yourself if you don't believe me."
Aria stubbornly looked back at the inscription. Her heart started to pick up the pace as she read it, not once but repeatedly, unable to believe that what she was reading was actually there.
Her mind started spinning. She found herself thinking back on the conversation they had shared in Mazelinka's house, mulling over if someone guilty of murder could ever be forgiven, if such a thing marred your soul for life. Perhaps she had been too harsh on him then. The implications of their conversation made her head swim again. How could she have judged him if she wasn't innocent herself?
The cold overtook her limbs, making her slump in Julian's grip. She couldn't remember anything past a certain point. The mere concept of her having blood on her hands... just how could she have ever done such a thing? "I...I don't. I don't understand," Aria whimpered. "How could I...? I've never wanted to hurt anyone a day in my life. How could I have...? How could I have done something to...to have..."
Julian looked absolutely heartbroken. "Hey, it will be all right," he murmured softly. He gently pulled Aria closer to himself. "Here, let's sit down for a moment."
Aria shook her head but found herself sitting next to Julian, regardless. Her hands started to shake. "I-Is it wrong? Maybe the spell weakened. M-Maybe it's worn off entirely," she rambled, her voice shaking as tears started to stream down her face. The anxiety was clogging up her lungs with cloth. She gasped for air as she stared blankly at her hands. "I couldn't have... I couldn't have hurt anyone."
She could feel herself leaning into him, her head pressed against Julian's shoulder as he held her and gently stroked her arm. "Don't worry, Aria. That doesn't change who you are. It could mean anything," he said, trying to be reassuring.
Aria angrily bit at her lip as she furiously thought back as far as she could. There had to be something. She refused to believe that she was capable of such a thing. She'd never harm someone. Even when Julian had broken into her shop that fateful day, she had chosen to try and mediate the situation instead of grabbing one of them many nearby items and taking a swing at him.
Her head started to throb as she searched and searched. There had to be something.
A familiar dread brushed against her cheek. She slammed her eyes shut just as another searing pain rushed through her skull. A whine escaped her lips as she found herself spiraling into another migraine. The hand on her arm tightened its grip. "Aria, relax," Julian insisted. "We can find the answers, I promise. Loosen your shoulders. Relax."
"Why wait?"
The pain intensified to an inferno in her head. Every inch of her skull felt as if it had been trampled by a herd of horses. Aria opened her mouth with a rattling gasp as she clutched her head and curled up into a ball. That voice. She knew that voice. She had heard it before in the burned wing. The thought accidentally made her visualize a pair of violent red eyes and the pain shot down her entire body.
The voice was of the ghost that haunted the Count's wing.
"You want the answers? I can give you the answers." It called to her. A tugging in her chest made her breath catch in her throat. "I told you that I knew more about you than you could ever realize, Aria." She fought to keep her eyes shut as she valiantly struggled to keep herself from screaming out in pain.
Beside her, she could feel Julian's body drift away. His voice as he called to her, trying to walk her through the pain, faded into nothingness.
Aria's eyes opened. The world was in greyscale again. When she looked beside her, she found herself staring at Julian's face. The anxiety in his eye made her heart drop. She looked back in front of her and a wave of nausea washed over her as she found herself staring up into a pair of dark red eyes.
The ghost was a horrible creature akin to a goat crossed with a man. It sneered at her as it flexed the claws of its only hand. "You've been ignoring me, Aria. I should have you know, I hate being ignored." Aria opened her mouth, but no noise came out. The pain in her head was dulled to a low whine in the back of her awareness. If she didn't think about it, she couldn't feel it.
It narrowed its eyes. "Another thing, I hate talking to walls. When I speak, you respond, got it?" She gawked, her heart racing in her chest. It rolled its eyes and pointed to her, tilting its head. "As I said, I know exactly what you did. You're guilty, guilty, guilty," it practically sang at her, its voice akin to the grating of metal. "If they knew what you did... Well, I think it's safe to say it would utterly destroy anything and everything you hold dear."
Aria found herself shaking as it took a step closer and leaned down to keep its head level with hers. She stopped being aware of her heartbeat entirely. She felt like she stopped breathing as she stared deep into its eyes, only faintly aware of her own stricken reflection staring back at her. She felt herself in the same trance she had been the day she had first faced this horrible spirit. The apprentice was utterly helpless to escape its gaze.
"That's better," it cooed. "Now I have your attention. Now, I'll ask you a question, and I want you to answer me, got it?"
Aria's head slowly moved up and down.
"I know your past. I know exactly the reason why you can open that gate. You think you've forgotten it, haven't you?" It lifted its claws to her chin and held it captive, letting its claws dig deep into her skin. She couldn't even make a sound of pain. "I can make you remember," the ghost said, eyes gleaming. "I'll show you what you've done. Don't you want to remember your past?"
Aria stared, the world seemingly slowing to a crawl. She desperately wanted to look back at Julian for any signs of reassurance, of merely his existence, but she couldn't even move her head.
"Well," it huffed. "I want an answer!"
"I want to know what I did," Aria whispered, her voice cracking. "Show me. Please."
The ghost with the head of a goat's lips split into a sickening grin with a lip curled upwards. "Right answer."
Immediately, a horrible wave of nausea slammed into Aria's gut, leaving her reeling. The spell was broken as she fell backwards and curled back into a ball from the pain. Her eyes squeezed shut as she finally broke down into sobs and screams of pain. This pain was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. Her entire body burned as if she were standing in an open bonfire. Something crawled under her skin, burrowing deeper into her chest and leaving her winded until her screams were just her forcing the air from her lungs.
She couldn't hear anything. Was Julian still there? Was the ghost still there? She felt so utterly alone. The only thing she was sure of is that the pain felt like she was being ripped apart by burning claws. Her fingers buried themselves into her hair as she clutched her head and desperately tried to curl up and hide from the pain.
The world fell out from below her.
Aria's hands shuffled through the papers on hers and Ilya's desk in the library. Her head throbbed as she tried to find the diagram she had made earlier. From outside the library door, the blaring noise of laughter and music broke the usual silence of their makeshift study. Tonight was the night of the Masquerade, yet another celebration in the name of Count Lucio's birthday. He insisted on having one this year, despite himself being bedridden for months prior with the plague. He insisted, despite how the people of Vesuvia were dying in droves from the sickness.
Her lips drew back in a scoff as she furrowed her brow and found a drawing of yet another red beetle. She narrowed her turquoise eyes. She must have drawn several dozen of these things during her time shadowing Doctor Devorak. Her eyes lifted to the dozen live samples that she kept in magically locked containers. They never needed to eat, sleep, drink. The beetles never aged, never reproduced. They had been the largest stumbling point in their search for answers.
Asra's suspicions had been proved true. They weren't natural. They were magical.
She had proven that hypothesis time and time again. No matter what they did, they never went away. There was no way of keeping them out, no way of exterminating them. Contact with them proved to infect one with the plague. It infected the artists who ground them up for bright red pigments for Count Lucio's portraits. It infected the tailors who tried to use them as dye for Count Lucio's clothes. It infected the gardeners who tried to protect Count Lucio's gardens from them. It infected the people of Vesuvia who had nowhere to run and not one ounce of help from their beloved Count Lucio.
Fury bubbled up in her gut. She had become Ilya's apprentice to help stop the spread of the plague, to find a cure to the horrible disease and all she did was watch in agony as people died by the dozens to the plague. Children were always first. She had lost count of how many children they had covered with their sheets on housecalls, how many tiny bodies they had sent sailing to the Lazaret. She felt so helpless in all of this.
She didn't want to be helpless anymore.
She couldn't stand by and watch the city crumble anymore.
Ilya was busy in the dungeons, sent down there by the Count as punishment for yet another week of no cure. Her eyes drifted to the bookcase he had disappeared into, her eyes lingering on the spines he had pulled, red, leather, black and gold. He had told her to take the night off and relax, to go have fun in the party and forget that they were trying to stop the widespread death that had shackled Vesuvia. Aria had refused. What kind of doctor's apprentice would she be if she indulged herself while there were people suffering in the streets?
She idly watched her hands shake as she stared down at the papers on the desk. She had pieced something together that not even Ilya had considered. She had looked back to the beginning of the plague and realized that wherever Count Lucio went, the sickness followed. When he arrived in Vesuvia coincided with the first reports of sickness. As he moved in and spread his influence, the plague grew in power and spread with him. Where he went, the beetles followed. With the magical properties of the beetles, there was no way this was a coincidence.
Aria could feel a darkness around Count Lucio. He wasn't a victim. He was the reason the plague was here. The plague spread and thrived with him.
Would it die without him?
It was a question she shouldn't be asking. As a doctor's apprentice, she had sworn to use her knowledge to help, to heal. She had sworn to stay her hand from pain and instead turn herself to treating and healing said pains with all her capability. Whether it be with medicine or magic, she was there to cure.
If one bad action saved thousands, was it still considered an evil act?
Her chest felt like her soul was being twisted into knots. Her hands drifted to the coat around her shoulders, the one that Ilya had taken her to the Vesuvian Society of Doctors to be sized for. She fondly remembered that day, the way his eyes had lit up as he watched her get measured and take her oath. Thinking back on it now made her stomach sour.
"Ilya, I'm so sorry," she whispered to herself. She had spent nights drifting in and out of nightmares as she tossed and turned. She thought of the unthinkable, of taking the plague into her own hands and taking a hopeless chance.
Her eyes drifted to her mask, the one that had been specially crafted for her. Instead of the typical bird beak shape, hers was far more reminiscent of a fox, with a long, downward angled snout and two pointed ears that pushed up towards her hair. Ilya spoiled her with it, even if he originally thought the idea was impractical.
Her hand shook as she carefully lifted it from the desk. Even with her special mask, she couldn't escape the plague's grasp. She had failed to protect herself from getting sick. Where had she gotten it? Was it when she had crushed the beetle that escaped from her studying container? Was it when she had come in contact with the red water in the South End? Did she catch it from one of their many house calls, or had she caught it from Count Lucio himself?
No matter the origin, the facts were there. She had watched her eyes turn red that afternoon. She was dying. Aria knew for certain that in a few days, she would be on death's door.
The apprentice knew that Ilya would divert all of his attention to trying to cure her if he knew. He would immediately abandon the Count and focus on her and her alone. She couldn't have him do that. She wasn't like the Count, who clung to life far longer than any other victim. She would die and that was that. Her body would be shipped off to the Lazaret, carried in by her fellow doctors before burned with the people of Vesuvia, with all the citizens they had failed.
If she was already dying, shouldn't she take the risk?
It would be turning against everything she had promised, but Aria's mind was made up. She would die quicker from the punishment, anyhow. It would spare her the agony of withering away.
It would spare Ilya the agony of watching her die slowly.
She opened the pocket of her coat and retrieved a crooked knife that she had purchased in the Red Market on her last trip with Ilya for rare herbs. She inspected the blade again, staring at the sweat rolling down her face, the bags under her eyes and the deep red glow of her own gaze.
She would kill Count Lucio and end the plague.
She had steeled herself to her dark objective that morning. She had hugged Ilya goodbye as he was sent down to the dungeons, wishing that she could have been with him without her mask for just one last moment. Aria knew better. She couldn't risk infecting him too. Ilya needed to live, for both of them, for the city.
With a deep breath, the apprentice slipped her mask back on. She would do it tonight, while the Count slept. On the eve of the Masquerade, it was her best chance to end everything without being stopped. Fastening it to her face, Aria hid her knife up her sleeve and walked to the library door. She took a moment to chant an incantation and cast a Nevermind spell on herself. She would be able to walk seamlessly through the crowd and no one would remember her presence. With the last preparation out of the way, she pushed open the door and entered the swarms of the party's guests.
It was do or die, and she would die either way.
The music made her ears ring as she cut her way through the crowds. True to the nobility's character, she blended in with several who were dressed to mimic the plague doctors who worked tirelessly to save the city. Regardless of the spell, she doubted anyone would think twice about her. Tonight, the plague was something to laugh in the face of. She danced around the throngs of people and stalked her way towards Lucio's wing.
She was making quite the gamble, betting that the dancing and merriment would have tired the Count by now and sent him back to his bed. Even if she was wrong, she would have to wait until he returned, however long that would be.
Aria reached the stairs that lead up to Count Luico's private wing. Her eyes narrowed as she slipped away from the crowd and climbed to the top. True to her expectations, Lucio's faithful hounds Mercedes and Melchior were lounging in the hall, halfheartedly standing guard among the numerous bright red portraits. They lifted their heads in interest before it faded from their eyes. Regardless, the apprentice reached into a pocket and pulled out two pomegranates and tossed them their way. The dogs excitedly snatched them out of the air and snarfed them down, thoroughly distracted by the treat.
She reached the Count's bedroom before she had expected to. A lantern on the wall was providing the softest of lights as Lucio lay in his bed, his elaborate Masquerade outfit still on. True to her suspicions, he had been too weak to remove it by himself and too prideful to ask a servant to do it for him and expose that he had retired early. She crept into the room and watched as the Count lay on his stomach and breathed hoarsely into his pillow.
Her sleeve felt as if she were carrying lead. Aria hoped that her choice would be quick. She carefully closed the door behind her, taking great care to keep the room silent. Successful, she moved to Lucio's bedside.
To her horror, his face was angled directly at her. His sickly red eyes stared holes in her face. "You," he wheezed. "What are you doing here at this hour? I didn't tell you to come here."
Aria fought to keep herself from losing her nerve. How could he see through her spell? She had been practicing it for so long. She had to recover. She needed an alibi. She would only get one chance. "Evening, Count Lucio," she greeted, her voice muffled by her mask. "I simply came to give you a check. I wanted to ensure you were comfortable tonight."
Lucio huffed. "Well, if that's what you're here for, you're awfully overdressed. Where's your party gown? You've never come to my chambers in your full uniform before."
"I just returned from a housecall this afternoon and then I spent the interim studying," she explained. "I simply hadn't had the time to change from my uniform."
Lucio weakly attempted to roll over, but found himself unable to. He clenched his teeth and hissed. "Well then, make me comfortable," he ordered. "That worthless master of yours better deliver on that cure soon if he knows what's good for him."
Aria forced a smile and climbed up into the Count's bed to better reach him. "I'm certain Ilya will bring you your cure soon, Count Lucio." She took a breath and focused her magic into her palms, feeling them warm. "He's been working all day."
"He better," he huffed. "I didn't let him work under Vlademar for nothing." Lucio carefully angled his head to look over his shoulder at her. "Well, what are you waiting for?"
"Apologizes, your Highness," the apprentice chirped. Channeling her fire magic, she brought the heat in her hands to a point and gently placed them on his back. The skin on her back crawled. She hated this part of her job. "I was simply waiting for my magic to steady."
Lucio let out a grunt of appreciation as Aria carefully kneaded the muscles of his back. "That's much better," he cooed, leaving Aria feeling like her ears were bleeding from the discomfort of his praise. "See, this is why you're my favorite." He grinned. "You always have had much better bedside manner than that Doctor Devorak."
Anger bubbled up into her throat as he lay there and insulted her master. It took all she had to not sear his back through his clothes. Instead, she moved her hands up to his shoulders and roughly circled her thumbs into his skin. "Thank you, Count Lucio," she murmured. "I'm happy I can be of service."
She slowly worked her way down to his arm before doubling back to his shoulders, all the while watching the rise and fall of his sides. Lucio's breathing eased and slowed until it found a soft pattern. Aria was thankful she was wearing her mask tonight. She hated the sickly smell that wafted off of him. Not being able to smell his horrible mix of sickness and perfumes made her being this close be somewhat tolerable.
Carefully, she shifted her arm, still making sure she was rubbing his back as she had been prior. The doctor's apprentice could feel the knife slip down her sleeve and bump into her wrist. Once she was sure that he was sleeping, she slowly pulled her hands away from his back.
With a slight movement of her wrist, she pushed the knife out from her sleeve and took it in her hand. It shook with fear at the dark task ahead of her. She had never harmed a soul, let alone killed one. The apprehension was choking her. With a deep breath, Aria tightened her grip and drove the knife into his back where his heart should have been. His body jumped with the impact before he lay still. Aria watched with shaking breath as the blood slowly seeped out into his white coat and stained it a deep scarlet.
She waited a moment. One, two three... Lucio did not stir. Her heartbeat stuffed her ears shut. Was that it? Had she truly killed him? Her shoulders slumped as she stared in awe. Had it worked?
Lucio spun around with a fury unparalleled and with a snarl, he caught Aria by the throat with his arm, his fingernails digging into her skin. His grip was so intense. Wasn't this man on death's door? How could he strangle her with one arm? She choked in shock as he narrowed his eyes at her, his lips drawn back into a disgusted grimace.
"Aria," he spat. "I knew you were up to something! Do you truly think I would be so naive as to think nothing of you coming to my room uninvited?" Her hands shot to his hand as she desperately tried to fight his grip, to escape from his vice-like grasp. "Did you really think that I would die so easily? I thrive on the battlefield," he roared. "I've had plenty a knife thrust in my back!"
Aria felt her eyes bulge out of her head and she fought for breath. Thinking quickly, she let her body overheat, using the same magic she had been to treat him to make her skin feel like scalding coals. Lucio's eyes widened as he yelped, his hand flashing open, his skin red and blistering.
She lurched back, somehow still finding room on his gigantic bed to roll away from him. She snapped her fingers repeatedly until her hands burst into flame.
She needed to retrieve her knife. It was the only thing that would let her end this quickly.
"I'm ending the plague, Count Lucio," she snarled.
He reeled up, his eyes mad with fever and fury. "By killing your ruler," he sneered. "Just what would that accomplish? How would killing me make this red plague go away?"
Aria launched herself at him, her hands aiming for his neck. She managed to grab him for a mere moment before he screamed and rolled away, pulling them both off of the bed in an attempt to escape. She fell with a crash, her shoulder pushing back towards her back farther than it was meant to. The pain shot up her neck and made her wince. Frantically, she kicked the blankets away.
"I know you have something to do with this plague," she said with a scowl. "Where you go, the beetles follow. They're a carrier. If I kill the source," she huffed, gasping as she rolled away from him as he took a swing at her. "I kill the plague."
"You're mad," Lucio spat. "I have nothing to do with this plague! I'm a victim!"
Aria's heart slammed against her throat. She could see that the knife had dislodged from his back; she must have not stabbed hard enough. Her eyes frantically scanned for it.
Lucio noticed. He roared and lunged for her again, his gauntlet gleaming.
The doctor's apprentice stumbled back, tripping over a deep red ottoman. Thinking fast, she curled up, snatched it, and hurled it at his face. It connected with a decent amount of force, knocking his face back as he wasted time in trying to grab it away from his face. It fell to the floor with a crunch as a leg broke off of it.
Aria stumbled forward. Hands shaking, she snatched the broken leg and started swinging it like a club. She initially smashed it into the side of his head, opening a sickening gash. As she pulled back for another swing, Lucio punched her in the ribs.
Was that a crack? Either way, it felt like her chest was on fire now. She coughed from the pain and fell on her back. Her head was swimming. Was it the sickness? Was it the adrenaline? The herbs in her mask covered up the smell of the blood in her mouth. Pathetically, she tried to crawl away, her eyes still looking for her knife. She had to kill him. She couldn't die without taking him with her.
"You," Lucio heaved, his breathing violent and irregular. "It's clear you haven't spent a day on the battlefield. This is the worst excuse of an assassination attempt I've ever seen." His voice was breathy and shaking, his volume fluctuating between breaths. "I've seen the elderly do better," he sneered.
A sharp pain shot up her spine as Lucio's boot collided with her back. Aria found herself pinned to the floor. Within reach was the blankets from the Count's bed. "You didn't even practice, did you?" Lucio leaned down to taunt her, blood pouring from the side of his head and painting his hair and ear a sticky red. "How did you expect to kill me?"
Aria willed the fire to return to her hands, letting the flames boil over from her frustration, from her desperation. "I thought I could kill you in your sleep," she admitted, her throat swelling. "I thought I could make it quick. Painless, even." She reached for his bedding.
"Oh, that's just pitiful." Lucio was nearly laughing. Perhaps he would have if he could catch his breath. "A coward's way to kill."
Satisfaction lifted her spirits as the cloth ignited. She snatched it and hurled it behind her, letting the flames from her fingers race up the cloth. Lucio jumped back to avoid the flames and Aria scurried away.
A flash caught her eyes. Her knife! It was there, resting on the floor beside Lucio's bed, nearly underneath the giant canopy bed. It must have been pushed into sight once she tossed the blankets away. She snatched it and turned around to get to her feet.
Lucio's golden arm pressed into her neck as he snatched her neck again. This time, the pressure was enough to make her fear that it would break it. The blankets had lit the upholstery of the ottoman and bed on fire, the flames spreading and searching for more to burn. His eyes were wild as his other hand grabbed her doctor's mask.
"At least have the bravery to look me in the eye as I kill you," he sneered, his lip pulling back in a smirk. He yanked the mask off her face and tossed it into the flames behind him.
As their eyes locked, his eyes widened. The smirk faded from his face. Then, he laughed. He laughed a horrible, echoing laugh as his lips split open into a grin. Tears finally pushed out of Aria's eyes as a horrible dread spread to every inch of her body.
"You've got to be kidding me," Lucio wheezed. His breath reeked of alcohol and sick. "Oh, that's just perfect. You're infected!" He flicked her hair out of her face and laughed again. "You figured that by me killing you, you'd have an easy death, didn't you?"
The humor reached his eyes.
"Just wait until I tell your master about how you tried to kill me," he said, his voice low and taunting. Aria's heart broke in her chest. Her head started to feel light. Was she dying already? The fear must have been in her eyes, because his narrowed with satisfaction. "I can't wait to see his face when I tell him that his little apprentice would have rather resorted to murder than trust him to find a cure to save her. Just what would Doctor Devorak think of you then?"
The knife in her hand felt cold, but her chest was colder. With a sputter, she pulled the knife close and slashed Lucio across the throat. The humor died in his eyes as they widened. Blood swept across her face and clothes as his grip finally relented.
The Count gripped the gash across his neck as he choked, the blood pooling below him. Aria carefully got to her hands and knees and glared at the man before her, watching as his blood reflected the raging fire that had claimed the room. Smoke filled her lungs as she gasped for air.
"Ilya..." Her voice, hoarse and broken, paused. She bit at her lip as her hands shook against the floor. "Julian is never going to know. No one is going to know." Her stomach felt sick as she rose to her feet. She stumbled over to Lucio, the knife heavy in her hands again.
He tilted his head up at her and their red eyes met one last time. His gaze was filled with nothing but vile contempt and stubborn refusal. She could only imagine what emotions carried over into her eyes.
"It's my secret, and it will die with me," she heaved.
With a dark fury, she drove the knife into his back repeatedly, sinking it down to the handle before pulling it out at crooked angles, worsening the wound. She didn't stop until Count Lucio's body was on the floor, lying in a puddle of his own blood. Her sleeves were stained as she heaved above him, the smoke swirling in her chest.
She watched his body, her hand tight around the knife. She waited.
Lucio didn't stir.
This time, she was certain.
Count Lucio was dead.
Her eyes trailed to his bed. Victory was cold and worthless in her stomach as she coughed as if she were forcing up a part of her own lungs. His bed was burning, swirling as the fire eagerly swallowed the sheets and charred the bed frame. It would be a suitable pyre for his body.
Slipping the knife into her pocket, she wrapped her arms around the Count's corpse. His body was significantly lighter than she expected. With her arms around him, she could feel his ribs through his clothes. With a great heave, she tossed his body onto the bed. He landed with a creak of the bed, laying directly over her charred mask. After a moment of deliberation, she grasped his clothes in her hand and channeled her magic once again. She held tight as the flames raced from her fingers and caught on him, spreading and mingling with the inferno on his bed. Aria pulled back, satisfied in the result.
She doubled over as she coughed into her sleeve. The smoke was visibly clinging to the ceiling, leaving streaks of ash. As the heartbeat left her ears, she could hear the fire roaring. She needed to leave, now. Aria's turquoise eyes shifted to the dead man's face. His eyes were still open in shock, watching her as his body burned to ash.
She turned away and stumbled through the fire, covering her nose and mouth with her sleeve. She could smell Lucio's blood even above the acrid smoke. She kicked the door open and froze as she heard voices yelling down the hall. Her blood froze as she backpedaled. She couldn't be seen. She hadn't feared being caught when she came here but now with the act done, she found herself spiraling.
Julian couldn't know that she had done this. The disappointment, the heartbreak... she couldn't bear to see his reaction to what she had done.
Instead she felt around in the wall for the magical portal she had made for herself and her master so that they could make quick trips between the library and Lucio's room. She bolted through it, reclaiming the magic as she fazed through the wall and destroying the link between the two rooms.
She fell to her hands and knees inside the library, gasping for breath. Her vision blurred. She assumed it was from the prolonged exposure to the smoke. Still coughing, she forced herself up and trudged to the far wall. Her chest was filled with lead. She needed to get out of the palace. She couldn't stay. Her coat and her knife... they were evidence now. She needed to dispose of them.
Aria's hand quivered as she felt among the books, searching for a portal that either herself or Asra had made. She needed something far away, something that would give her time to recover...or a place to die.
The apprentice's hand hesitated over a golden book as she felt the thrum of magic beneath her fingers. She knew this portal. This one led to the fields outside the city. Asra had made it so that he could gather more magical ingredients for their numerous cure attempts. Surely that would be far enough. With a deep breath, she pushed forward and disappeared through the portal.
Aria's ears were screaming as she found herself coiled tight and sobbing. The vision flashed to black, leaving her frightened and horrified. Nausea crept back up into her throat. She swore that she could still smell it, the smoke, the blood. Had that truly been a memory? Her memory?
"Now it's our little secret," the ghost laughed. She could feel its presence lingering around her, but she couldn't pinpoint where it was. "You're the murderer. You're the one who killed the Count."
The apprentice shook. It couldn't be true. It had to be a lie. In her chest, she felt something cold press against her heart. Acceptance. It had been far too vivid to be anything but real. But if it really was true, then why hadn't she died of the plague? Why did no one remember her?
Her head felt like it was being flattened. She forced her eyes open and she stared into white. Tears streamed down her face as she cried, unable to even feel her jaw anymore. Her throat felt like it had been slashed out, just as Count Lucio's had been in the vision.
She became aware of something behind her. A hot breath tickled her ear.
"I can't wait to see his face when he finds out the truth," it taunted. Her blood froze over as her voice caught in her throat. No. No, it couldn't be. But the tone... the words were so similar. They were hauntingly familiar. The voice clicked.
"I can't wait until everyone knows that their precious little magician's apprentice is nothing but a cold blooded murderer," Lucio's voice sneered. His laugh echoed in her ear as she felt his presence disappear.
"Guilty, guilty, guilty."
The words hung in the air as the choking darkness faded away.
Slowly, Aria noticed that she was being rocked back and forth. A hand was behind her head and another was on her back. Her ears, still throbbing, could faintly hear Julian's voice. He was speaking softly, ever so softly, trying to coax her back into awareness, even as his voice shook with fear and worry. Her sobbing broke down into a whimper as she stared at his chest, her body still shaking.
Her head was still spinning. What was she going to do? There was no way she could ever tell the truth. If she did... Well, she'd be the one hanging on the night of the Masquerade. The thought of it filled her veins with sheer terror. She didn't want to die. She couldn't have Julian die, either. If she proved his innocence, would it mean proving her own guilt?
Aria's fingers clenched Julian's shirt. She could feel his heartbeat racing below her palm. Shame boiled under her skin. Would he be so concerned over her if he knew that she was the one who killed the Count? Would he care for her then, after spending years of his life in hiding, being blamed for a crime that she committed? He didn't deserve to suffer for what she did.
"J-Julian," she whispered, her voice wobbled. She could hear him draw in a sharp breath just before she felt his lips against the top of her head.
"Aria!" His voice was little more than a sigh of relief. "How do you feel? Is the migraine gone?"
She wet her lips and tried to get the dry feeling in her throat to leave her. It remained as she pulled her head out of his jacket just enough to look up at his face. "I... I'm better now," she lied. "The migraine is gone."
His eye narrowed, though it was still soft with concern. "That's good. Uh, that was terrifying," he admitted. "You were staring at nothing and talking to yourself and then you... then you had another migraine but it was... much, much worse." His hand gently pressed against her cheek and Aria guiltily leaned into his touch. "Are you sure you should be down here?" Her heartbeat quickened. "If it triggers another migraine like that a-and that monster down there hears us—"
"I'll be fine," Aria insisted. "I'm not leaving you to go down there alone, not when I can open that door, too. Especially when there's something dangerous lurking down there." She lowered her gaze. "I tried to remember what I did."
Julian's thumb rubbed against her cheek. "Aria, there's no rush to remember. We'll find our missing memories." He paused. Their eyes met again. "Did you remember anything," he asked carefully.
The apprentice swore that she could still hear Lucio's delirious laughter in her ears.
"No," she lied. "All I did was get the worst headache of my life."
Julian's lip quirked in a sympathetic smile. "It's all right, Aria. You'll remember eventually, if that's what you want." He brushed her hair out of her face with a gentle hand. "Whatever happened, it doesn't change who you are. You're still incredibly kind and perhaps a little too selfless," he teased.
"You don't have to follow me if it will hurt you," he reminded her. "Pasha is still waiting for us in the library. You can go back up. I'll be fine."
Aria's heart throbbed in her throat as she stood up from Julian's lap. With a stubborn bite of her lip, she grabbed his arms and pulled him upwards. As he rose to his feet, she gave him a quick kiss. The doctor's face bloomed with color as she tightly held his hand. "I'm going with you, wherever you go," she said firmly. "You're not ditching me." She stared at the mechanism that would lower them into the pit. "We're getting in that cage and finding that cure." She looked up and met his eye, a fire burning in her gut. "We're proving your innocence before the Masquerade."
Julian smiled, though some reservations still lingered in his eye. "Then it's settled. Let's go."
Julian lead the way into the cage. It was incredibly cramped. Aria had to squeeze herself under Julian's arm for them to both fit inside. A suffocating feeling pushed inside her lungs, but she fought hard to ignore it. Julian pulled a lever inside the cage and the machinery roared to life. A shower of rust fell over them as the gears ground together. With a jolt, the cage started to lower into the pit.
Aria stole one last glance at the room they left as they started to sink. Her heart stopped beating as she saw the ghost again, Lucio's ghost, lingering where they had been standing.
"They'll find out," he warned. "And I'll be waiting eagerly to see everything come crashing down."