The Human Technological Wonder Chronicles
Excerpts by the SpecOps Sangheili Chief
Transcribed and translated by Bass GSX
Disclaimer: I only own my own mind, and that's slipping away quite quickly.
ooo
Day One: Military Training Devices Part One
My squad and I stumbled upon a Human storage facility for strange, semi-archaic mechanisms apparently used by Humans to hone their battle skills. We tested them out and found them to be quite entertaining, but also very useful. They were in a building labeled "Arcade". That must be a Human acronym for something relating to military prowess. Several of them, such as "San Francisco Rush" and "Burnout 3", appear to be training for driving vehicles, while others, such as "Deer Hunter '03" and "Time Crisis", are apparently used for combat simulations. The Humans are far more advanced and devious than we previously thought. These combat sims are apparently over five hundred human annual units old, yet are quite appropriate for fighting. The Humans must have been planning for a time like this. Their "Arcade" holds many such devices. There are also "Flight Simulators" which are used as training for aerial combat and dropship flying. The research continues on the practical application of these Human mechanisms, and several platoons of the Covenant Brotherhood have already touched down and begun their journey into this hidden world of Human training simulations. Indeed, the collection of sims is quite diverse.
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"As you can see, this machine is very intricate. There are several 'joysticks' and a number of buttons. They are all essential for the full experience of this melee combat interactive video instruction, which the Humans nicknamed 'Street Fighter'", the deep voice of the white SpecOps leader boomed. He moved over a couple paces, where a pair of Grunts was playing Dance Dance Revolution.
"And this odd-looking device is actually an exercise machine and a battlefield reflex trainer. Tried and true, there are many who step off this device very tired from a hard training session", the Elite's voice recording noted. The camera panned over to an Elite playing "Deer Hunter '03".
"This sim is, apparently, a, interactive training program used to instruct Humans on how to use their 'Shotgun' weapon. It requires a very skilled Sangheili to fire, and this program teaches well", the white Elite commented, clapping his hand on the other Elite's shoulder. The Elite playing the game roared in distaste.
"Be killed, you immoral beast of burden! Let the holy light of the sacred rings strike you down!" he growled. The camera moved on.
"Here we have discovered a machine that tests for accurate rolling of the Human 'fragmentation grenade'", the SpecOps leader spoke, pointing to a Skee-ball game. A few Elites were rolling the hefty balls up the ramp, shouting their cryptic curses when they missed.
"Also, there is a device we believe the Humans use to accurately aim their grenades when they are throwing them. Here it is", the Elite remarked, pointing to a basketball hoop. A Grunt and two Jackals were attempting to make shots by throwing them overhand, but then a Grunt dribbled a ball twice, stood up, and made a perfect foul shot. The ball swished in. The other Covenant were impressed.
"This little Grunt has shown us a new way to throw grenades in battle. By putting spin on them, we may increase distance, and by using our off hands to hold the grenade while throwing, we can hone our accuracy. We have already tested it in battle, but the Humans mocked us, yelling something about 'basketball'", the Elite said.
"Also, there is an ingenious system the Humans devised called 'High Score'. This 'High Score' is used to show who the best in a certain field is. The one who earns the most of a certain unit, called 'Points', is labeled as 'First'. He may then input a three-digit code that designates who he is and shows that he is the best. Currently, all of the high ranking Covenant soldiers are being issued a three-digit code to correspond with these training simulations", the Elite remarked. He moved on to a racing game.
"These machines are, apparently, simulations for driving vehicles very similar to our Ghosts. If there is another person in the seat next to yours, you may race one another. These machines are a very useful section of simulations, as they test not only driving ability, but also the ability to make split-second decisions and calculation on speed-reducing paths, known as 'shortcuts'. Here, I shall give a demonstration. Arbiter!" the SpecOps leader said. The Arbiter ambled over.
"Yes, 'Gradolee?" the Arbiter replied. The white Elite opened his top two mandibles, and expression similar to the human grin.
"I wish to race", was his simple reply.
"Prepare to lose, for I am the champion", the Arbiter "grinned", his top mandibles wiggling slightly as they opened.
"I believe it is you who will lose, Grunt", the white Elite chuckled. The roar of the engines of the cars in the game was very loud; apparently, the Covenant had figured out how to turn up the volume. The Arbiter and the SpecOps leader revved their engines, then blasted off from the starting line.
"Now, these Human vehicles are very peculiar. They have a device called a 'stickshift' which is a speed-boosting mechanism that, in general, has six 'gears' in a sequence. One can only 'shift' in numerical order or else the vehicle will 'stall' or 'catch fire'. An interesting thing, indeed", the white Elite noted as he raced the Arbiter. A horn blared, and the Arbiter laughed mockingly.
"I win...as always, 'Gradolee", he said. The other Elite grumbled, but shook his head.
"Now is not the time to be angry. Good race, Arbiter. I hope that the Prophets will sponsor the making of more of these 'Arcade Games'. Kiya'Gradolee out", the SpecOps leader said.
XXXEnd Day OneXXX