Chapter 1
Daylight shined into Sonic's eyes. It was the first day of Senior year of high school for him. For a second, he whimpered. This will be his last year with his friends, like Archer, Bob Ross, Mister Enter, and Mickey Mouse. They've always hung out together, going to the local mall. They enjoyed going to "Splatoon Girl's Burgers and Fries," and shopped at Hot Topic.
Sonic put on his uniform: a dark sports coat with a red tie, black pants, and his typical red shoes. He slid down the staircase, and did a front flip by the table. Sonic was a Christian. His Dad, Goku, was Non-denominational, however, he made Sonic pray at breakfast.
He was about to dig into his breakfast; bacon and eggmen, with orange juice, until his dad stopped him.
"Wait, son! You must pray. Our lord forgives us of all sins. You know, back when I killed Kid Buu, I couldn't get over myself… the pain was unbearable, until I found Christ. He saved me -" He continued on his spiel, until Sonic exclaimed "Okay dad, I understand. I will." He made the cross symbol, and prayed for looking at that Daniel Radcliffe picture last night. Lord, forgive me for staring at Daniel on the Beach. I'm really sorry about that. I'm sure is what Sonic said, but I digress.
He began to eat. Goku smiled at him lightly. His spiky black hair was gelled backed.
"So tomorrow, I'm going to apply for a job as a gym trainer."
"Really dad?" Sonic smiled.
"I met your mother at a gym… it was shocking, truly, as it was at Lieutenant surge's gym."
"Holy shit." Sonic exclaimed. He never heard that; he never heard much about his mom. She died when he was born.
"Hey young man, watch your language for the man upstairs."
"Dad, you've been resolute on talking about Mom. Please, tell me more."
"Well… you are turning 18 soon… I guess you need to know." A grim faced formed on Goku. He ate a piece of an eggman, and sighed.
"Your mom and I met at Lieutenant Surge's gym. It was when I started my journey. She was beautiful, she had your eyes, and your face. She was a Zumba dancer. She trained people weekly, teaching the spin dash you knew from birth, and whatnot…" He took a handkerchief out, wiping his eyes. His eyes were getting foggy, "Lou'anne was beautiful. Her father was some guy named Hank, not an approving man. 'Dating a saiyan, are you crazy? I can't let Bobby around that kind.' Is what she told me. I never got over it. Pardon me lord, but damn did I love her."
"Dad, it's okay. You don't have to talk about it if it's too hard on you."
"I just wanted Hank to like me. I wanted him to approve of me. I saved his world. But he got mad because I didn't know how to print a picture of a 'God dang hot dog.'" Sonic looked at his invisible watch, and sighed.
"Oh! Look at the time! I got to go!" Luckily, Sonic's dad was too stupid to know that he didn't have a watch. Sonic charged a dash, and ran straight through the door, breaking it. As he ran towards the school, he spat some wood out of his mouth.
"Aggh!" A girl with yellow hair, blue eyes screeched. Her two sisters calmed her down as she wept.
"Aha! Sorry about that! I got to get to school!" Sonic put his headphones in, and started listening to his favorite song "Jimmy Neutron" by "Bowling for soup." As he approached the school, 'got to save the world and get to school on time' came on.
"Mister Hill, no headphones as you approach the school." A black bald man said. He wore a three piece suit.
"Oh, sorry Principal Harvey!" Sonic said, removing his earphones.
"It's perfectly fine, you are one of my favorite students. Last year of school; are you going to join the Quick Recall team this year?" Sonic breathed a breath through his teeth.
"Oooh… I don't know…" Steve looked down a bit, and put his fingers together.
"Well, I'm trying to amass more members. Please, think about joining. We could make it to state with you."
"I will consider it, okay?"
"Oh, alright. Thank you so much, Sonic!" Steve Harvey turned to the other students, and began waving at them, welcoming them to another year. Sonic couldn't hear quite well, but he heard: "Things are going to be better this year, miss Marionette."
Marionette was an outcast. Last year, She was accused of getting with the whole soccer team, and accidentally getting pregnant. The child was 'miscarried' but most of it was left up in the air. She was only human, and to Sonic, everyone makes mistakes. When he told his dad about the whole deal, he said 'be kind to her, Son. She could use a friend at this time.'
Everybody last year called her names, like "clown," "puppet," and "left-handed bear wrangler." She was in need of a friend, and Harvey felt that Sonic could be just that.
While thinking about last year, Sonic heard the bell ring. He dashed over to home room.
Thank God, his two best friends were in here: Mister Enter and Archer. Sonic knew Archer and Mr. Enter since kindergarten.
"Oh, thank god, it's the fast FUCK." Archer said. It was clear he was drinking. Archer had about every sexually transmitted disease known to man.
"Yo man, watch out. That bitch of a teacher 'Samus Aran' is this rooms teacher." Mr. Enter said, "I mean, not to nitpick, but what kind of Space pirate leaves space piracy for fucking teaching? I've seen better plots in Spongebob cartoons. I'm so freaking tired of them showing torture on TV. Squidward doesn't deserve the pain. Did you hear about real life? Sadness left him. He's going to quit."
"Jeez man, I didn't know. I stopped watching Spongebob when I was five." Sonic told him.
"When you were five? I'm 18 and I still watch it." Enter told Sonic.
There was something odd about the first name being "Mr." for Mr. Enter. Sr. Enter just liked to keep the tradition, as did Ms. Enter before him. He was snarky, quick witted, and always nitpicked everything. When they were kids, Archer tried to steal some liquor from his Mom's cabinet, he lied and said "It's liquorice," to which Mr. said "Why would Liquorice be in a bottle, and in a liquid form?" They then got into this argument, that would go off and on for years. Mr. Enter was always able to break down the points that Archer would try to put forth with facts. Archer would be left in a stuttering mess, and there Mr. Enter stood, successful, with only some sense of superiority.
"Anyways, I went down to Kong Island this summer. Sorry that we didn't get to hang out. At least I got to bang some natives, am I right? A-ha!" Archer went in for a high five with Sonic. Reluctantly, Sonic high fived him.
"Yo bro, what's wrong? Couldn't get with Marie Kanker? Shit dude, sorry to hear that." Archer told Sonic.
"No, it's not that. My dad told me about my Mom. I hope I have something like that someday; someone I can love and truly care for."
"That's gay." Archer told Sonic, "But hey, I'll drink to that." He took out a water bottle, filled with God knows what, and chugged it down like it was his last drink. Sonic sighed, a part of him was disappointed in himself, Sonic was always told by every adult that he could save these people; he could stray them away from critiquing everything, or heavy drinking. He wished he could save them.
Miss Aran entered into the class; her long blonde hair and curvy body did a swaying motion as she walked. She had well toned, thick thighs. Her uniform, consisting of blue pants on top of a light blue shirt and orange tie, was as though even in the dark you wouldn't miss her.
She pursed her lips, looking at each student in the room.
"Alright, I've never taught any of you." She concludes. She sits down, and for a few quiet, tense minutes, she observed each student, almost as though she is judging each and every one of them. She clapped her hands together, and stood up.
"Time to take roll, and then do the seating chart." She breathed with an air of heaviness upon her, "Marionette," a "here!" was heard in the back of the room, "Monika," a smiling, brown haired young woman made herself present, by simply raising her hand.
She went through the list, Bob ross, Mr. Enter, Mario, Mephiles, Archer, Pikachu, Mickey, and so on and so forth, however, when she reached "Mr. Nes-quik?" He wasn't there. She marked him as absent, and closed her book.
"I figure I should tell you the schedule, so you will start with me. I teach Math, Astro-history, Physics, and Drug and Alcohol prevention."
"Drug and Alcohol prevention?" Quagsire, a pokemon asked.
"That's exactly right, Quagsire." Samus said. She looked at the pokemon, and then cringed for a second. Pokemon were allowed to go to school 3 years ago, after the "Pichu vs The Board of Education" law was passed, allowing for pokemon to go to the same schools as abominables and humans. Sonic was an abominable, and so was Mr. Enter. If two humans or a human and abominable got together, there was a 50% chance, of the child coming out as "An abominable." they could be, two legged, four legged, puppet shaped, whatever. Blue, black, white, green, pink, they could be the color of the rainbow, be an animal, anything could exist. It was all my plan.
"Your next class will be with Cell, who teaches english. Big the Cat teaches Art. Rosalina teaches theology. And finally, we have Vegeta, who teaches gym." As Samus said these, a bunny creature skateboarded into the classroom.
He held his skateboard up, and was drinking a cup of chocolate milk.
In a moment, the entire class blinked, and the bunny's skateboard disappeared. I suppose he pushed the skateboard outside, so Samus Aran wouldn't see it.
"Aye Miss A, sorry I'm late. I was just drinking some nice sugar free, Nesquik chocolate milk™. You can find it at your local Walmart."
"You are the Nesquik bunny, I presume." The bunny pretended to not know his name, thinking for a bit.
"Yep, that's me!"
"Woah, he's so cool!" Mephiles said, then, almost in unison, the class said "Welcome, Nesquik bunny."
"Ahah! I love a nice class. Thank you guys for being so nice to me." He said.
Sonic was unsure about the rabbit. There was something about him that was off.
"Well…" Samus looked around, and pointed at an empty seat by Sonic, "Why don't you sit next to Sonic. He can make you feel at home here."
"Hah! Home? I already feel like I've been here a millenia!" He sat down next to Sonic.
"Hey pal, my name's Nesquik. You can call me 'Quik,'or 'the Bunny.' Pleasure to meet you!" he held out his hand to Sonic. Sonic looked at Enter, who was beaming with joy. I guess I do have to shake his hand Sonic figured. He took Quik's hand, and shook it.
"Well, I'm sure you figured I'm Sonic. I think I'll just call you 'Nesquik.'"
"I see how it is." Quik said. He sounded serious. Sonic was silent for a second, confused, "I'm just joking!" Quik patted him on the back, laughing. Sonic laughed, confused over the ordeal. Class began.
Probably the best class, where Sonic, Archer, and even Enter enjoyed was Physics with Aran. She would show off different ways of making something hover, or hell, showing how to make a miniature roller coaster.
However, she would never allow Pikachu, nor Quagsire touch any of the equipment. On the first day, he was upset because Samus wouldn't let him build a lego roller coaster. Quagsire wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and when he would try talking to Samus about it, he would usually leave in a crying mess.
A part of Sonic didn't want to calm Quagsire down. Prejudices have been carried against Pokemon for as far back as he could remember. People turned and stared at him, as though saying 'well sonic, what are you waiting for? Calm him down.'
As Sonic was about to lay a caring hand on Quagsire's shoulder, Nesquik appeared out of more or less nowhere.
"Hey buddy, don't worry. Everything will be okay." The caring touch of the Nesquik bunny instantly calmed Quagsire down. For a second, his tears turned into sweet brown powder, but then it turned back into water. Sonic was too careless to notice.
Lunch time came, and Sonic sat with his usual friend group: Marionette, Bob Ross, Mr. Enter, Archer, Mickey Mouse, and Mario were all there. Bob Ross held his sketchpad.
"Some happy little trees here…" he mumbled.
"Hey Bob, what are you working on?" Sonic asked, leaning in.
"I've been having an… epiphany in a way. We have too look to the good times to get through the bad. I'm looking back right now." The sketch showed a cabin in the woods. Two figures stood outside; it was hard to tell who they were. They held a baby, a baby with a tiny afro.
"I miss Ma and Pa." Bob sighed.
"Hey man, if you ever need to talk, we are here for you." Sonic assured.
"No, it's fine." Bob took a bite out of his Krabby Patty. It was a special day today, back to school, after all.
Sans was serving chili dogs, so Sonic had to get one. He passed Brock, who pointed at his rice cake, saying "Nothing like a Jelly filled donut!" As he continued walking, he bumped into a bipedal dog character.
"What the Hell bro?" He shouted. He turned around, sizing Sonic up, despite being 6 inches shorter than him.
"Hey man, I didn't mean anything." Sonic says.
"Anything, huh?" The small dog pushes him.
"Yo Scrappy, back off man, please." Monika whispers.
"Aw come on, lemme at 'em!" Scrappy says. He got into this fighting stance, ready to punch Sonic.
"Dude, you were in my way. I didn't see you, cause Brock was talking to his rice cakes as donuts again."
"Well," Scrappy blushed from embarrassment, "uh… Just stay out of my way!" He sat back down with Monika and Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. Sonic, confused, dashed over to his seat, only to find Nesquik sitting there.
"-Yeah, I transferred here from Wyoming last year. It sucks, coming in senior year." Is what Sonic heard as he sat down.
"Well, uh, don't worry about it man! You are always welcome here! Yahoo!" Mario shouted. Some students turned and looked at Mario. Sonic laughed, holding his head in slight embarrassment. Sonic sat at the table, and made a cross symbol. He began to pray.
Nesquik looked at Sonic with appreciation.
Lord, thank you for giving me these awesome friends, help Nesquik get associated at this new school, Nesquik nodded towards the direction of Mickey, but Mickey didn't see it, forgive me for cussing in front of dad today. It shocked me that he gave me such a revelation. Nesquik laughed at some joke that Mr. said, although the joke sucked. Sonic finished his prayer, and ate that Chili dog quicker than Kirby swallowing a pineapple.
The next class was English with Cell. As everyone settled down into their seats, a large crash was heard in the hall. The whole class was subjected to hearing the commotion outside their room.
"And what makes you think I don't have permission to walk into my own class?!" A stern voice asked.
A cacophony of angry gibberish seemingly replied as if it's life depended on it.
"I'm the teacher for god's sake!"
A slapping noise was heard… followed shortly by the Hall Monitor, Jack Noir crashing through the wall.
"Well then, now that that's settled," Cell flew through the hole in the wall. "Who's ready to learn from the best?"
Cell was… odd, after his fight with Goku, he went after the Infinity Gauntlet in Chicago. He got curb stomped by Arm-Fall-Off Boy and got sent to jail for attempted robbery of a weapon of mass destruction. His prison sentence got greatly shortened for good behavior, and he got a job as a teacher. His story was all over the papers, but only the papers considering everyone was using iphones at this point, thus ridding him of the celebrity treatment.
"I do!" The Marionette said with her left arm flailing wildly.
"Very well!" Cell said intrigued by the animated puppet's enthusiasm. "Catch!"
Cell threw a copy of "How to avoid death by Robot Yoshi stampede while in a snowstorm" over to the Marionette who caught it in a flash.
The whole class gasped, "How to avoid death by Robot Yoshi stampede while in a snowstorm" was considered the most gruesome book made in this century, how could he giving it to them?
"Read this, and you get my respect." Cell demanded. Marionette was at a loss for words. "O-ok!" Marionette said seemingly both confused and morbidly excited.
"Yeah, you go Marionette! You got this!" Sonic shouted. Marionette blushed with embarrassment.
"Thank you…" She stood up, ready to read.
"Ahem.."
"Blood was spilled this morning. Several men were found smashed into paste by the robot yoshis.
No one knows why they keep showing up, nor why they trample anyone in their path, smashing their skulls, letting the eyes pop out before taking another step. They've shown no remorse, they've done this to children, women and even me, but I survived."
Marionette was about to continue but Cell responded. "Good job. You earned it." Cell took a pack of cards from the bottom of the board and gave Marionette one.
The card literally said "MY RESPECT." as if it was some ironic punchline.
"Get enough of these throughout the year, and I won't kick your ass at tug-o-rope at years end." Cell said. "Class dismissed."
"UH, SIR?" A R.O.B. asked
"Yes runt?" Cell replied.
"SHOULDN'T WE CALL THE NURSE, THE MONITOR SEEMS INJURED-"
"Class dismissed." Cell said again, in a much more aggressive tone.
No one said anything as the bell rang and they left.
The next class was art with Big the Cat. Big was a softy, and was a pretty bad teacher in general when it came to art. An artistically challenged 4th grader could draw better than him.
"So today, we are going to be drawing Froggy by perspective!" Big shouted.
"Man-a, three years and he can't teach us how to a draw portraits? Yahoo!" Mario exclaimed. Sonic looked at him, and smiled.
"Man, I don't think you know just how loud your voice can be sometimes." Sonic told him. He began drawing Froggy from a side perspective. By him, Bob Ross sat, already done with the Image. Froggy was majestically sitting on a mountain side, looking off in the distance. Some dead trees surrounded him. Sonic could see in the corner some wording. At a cursory glance, it would seem as though a badly written signature, with the date, August 13 beside it. However, it said "Revelations 8:1-13." Although Sonic has been a man of the bible, he didn't personally recognize the verse. Bob's pencil broke on Froggy's left eye.
"Oh, what a happy accident." He mumbled. He got up, and wandered over to the sharpener.
Scrappy was waiting at the pencil sharpener behind Bob. He was unsuccessful in sharpening the pencil, with it breaking. Bob didn't get mad, however. He just smiled lightly, and sharpened it again.
"Oh my fuck, come on." Scrappy said.
"Hey, watch your language! You are going to scare froggy." Big pet Froggy, and Froggy croaked.
"Just, let me at 'em." He pushed Bob away, and quickly sharpen the pencil. He removed it, and handed it to Bob, "Uncle Scoobert taught me to go fast and twist! It's a good technique."
"Uh… Thank you?" Bob said. He took his seat back at Sonic's seat.
"I don't know what to think of that Scrappy character." Bob mumbled.
"I don't know him." Sonic said, "He got mad because I bumped into him."
"He has a temper." Enter concluded.
"Yeah man, maybe some licorice could take the edge off for him."
"Bitch, we are not starting this again." Mr. Said.
"Actually, I did my research, and there is liquid licorice, its Licorice root."
"Dammit, I thought you weren't smart enough to google it."
"Are… Are you calling me stupid?" Archer asked.
"N-No man." Mr. looked towards Marionette, who was hard at work.
"Are you saying Google is stupid?" Archer leaned closer to him.
"No, I'm just…"
"Because Google got me through last year, not your nitpicking sorry ass." Archer started getting at it with Enter.
"Guys guys, calm down." Sonic said. Bob reached into his breast pocket, and took a dove out.
"This is my friend. His name is Joel. Look at Joel, calming, isn't he?"
"Where the hell did you get a dove?" Enter questioned.
"Where else would you get a dove?" Bob responded the question with a question. This shut them all up. Bob looked pleased with himself, and continued with his already detailed sketch.
Big didn't teach. He fell asleep at his desk. Quik found a sharpie from the cabinet, and walked over to the fat, purple, sleeping cat.
"Nesquik, don't try it man." Sonic pleaded with Nesquik.
"It will be funny man, watch." In a sweeping motion, Nesquik drew glasses of milk on Big's face, a frog, and some other things.
"Oh… That's not exactly what I thought you'd draw." Sonic said. Froggy stared at him angrily.
"But, Froggy may spit acid at you." Archer chuckled as he said this, "He's freaking awesome." But, Froggy remained still, staring at Nesquik. He squinted, but turned to the class.
The bell rang, and Big awoke. Nesquik was the first to leave the room, like a flash of brown.
Sonic ran out of the room at quick speeds, moving books out of lockers, and papers flying out of people's hands. A part of him was excited for Theology with Rosalina. She was known for being the hottest teacher, but also the harshest. Her senior year will probably be the toughest for sonic, as it seems as though Big would be the easiest, then Samus, then Cell, and finally Rosalina. Unless Vegeta could top that.
No one talked about Vegeta. When someone asked about his teaching to a classmate that had him, the classmate would shiver, and say something along the lines of "I don't want to say."
Rosalina's class had his typical lineup. Most of his friends were in it. He took a seat by Marionette, who smiled slightly at him.
"So, have you seen her before?" Sonic asked her.
"Who?"
"You know, Marionette. Rosalina." She was thinking for a second.
"No, not that I recall. I've heard that she is pretty… well, pleasing to the eye." Marionette said.
Nesquik entered into the room, chugging a glass of brown milk.
"Delicious. Absolutely, positutely, delicious. You can buy it at Walgreens now. Product is spreading." Ness looked at him, and smiled.
"I could go for a glass of Nesquik chocolate milk as of now." Ness said, beaming the whole time. The Nesquik bunny smirked.
"Where's the teacher? I can't be early before the teach! I got so much I need to do, so little time." He said the last sentence with a harsh infliction.
"The teacher is right here, mister Quik." A lofty, english accented voice said. Nesquik turned to look at her. He was at chest height.
His cheeks grew rosy, like Strawberry milk nesquik powder ™ , "Uh, sorry Miss R."
"You will refer to me as Miss Rosalina, I'm your superior. You do not call anyone else in this classroom 'miss,' or 'mister.' Only call me Miss."
"Miss Rosalina, I'd like to make you my Misses." Nesquik nudged Rosalina.
"I could change the gravity of where you are standing right now to crush you, breaking every bone, ligament, and even your heart in your body. Take a seat, now."
Rosalina was 6'4. She had a curvy body, who could not be contained in that tight light blue skirt. She wore Coral Blue #2 lipstick, so she must be a fan of "Keeping up With the Sponge." Her thighs could crush watermelons. She had a blue Luma hovering around her, quietly observing the class.
"So, attendance?" She asked. She sat on the desk, crossing her legs.
"Oh my damn…" Ness mumbled.
"What was that? Did I hear something?" Rosalina asked, looking at the class. No one said anything, "I thought not." She began calling names. Everyone responded with a 'here.'
Sonic felt no attraction to her. Was that weird to him? Most definitely. What was wrong with him?
"Ok, so in this theology class, we are going to," She started thinking, biting her lip, "learn about the history of modern church, and how pokemon now incorporate into early teachings. It's required by the law."
"Sounds fun." Ness said, "really fun."
"I'm glad you'll like it, Mr. Ness." She smiled, "You guys are seniors, so I expect more from you."
"Oh Miss Rosalina, don't worry! I will please you!" Nesquik exclaimed. The class laughed in unison.
"Well, thank you, I suppose." Rosalina stared at Nesquik for a second, and then looked back at the rest of class.
"We work on a 40% is quizzes and homework, and the other 60% is tests and projects. You shall learn about the teachings of the Church, and new findings people have discovered about the early Church." She wrote her name, as the Luma stared at Nesquik.
Sonic sat there, and looked at Marionette. She was busy taking notes. Best to take notes as well. He began writing about the syllabus, knowing that Miss Rosalina may come by and check notes.
The class breezed through with the occasional comment from Nesquik or Ness, whether it was a flirtatious comment, or just restating what she said. The bell rang.
"Well, best of luck with Vegeta. You are going to need it. God forgive me." She mumbled, "2008 was a crazy college year." was all she said. Sonic left the room with Archer and Marionette.