Author's Notes: This is a poem, merely about the loss only John could really know when they lost Elizabeth. Please read and review; I would love to hear what you have to say.
There once was a soldiering man.
He stood by his brothers and protected his sisters,
And honored his father and mother.
There once was a soldiering, bloody man.
His eyes were cast to his crimson hands,
And all he could think of was those he might have saved.
There once was a soldiering, hopeful man.
He saw only the light ahead,
And never once looked back to the darkness from which he fled.
There once was a soldiering, broken man,
Who lost the one anchor he had to light and love,
And all he could do was leave her behind.
There once was a soldiering, honest man,
Who finally closed his mouth and opened his heart.
Who finally, for once, stepped back and searched for the light
(The light he had lost when he lost her)
This soldiering man knew there would never be another.
His romantic conquests had only ever been a cover.
Elizabeth, his comfort, his partner, his more than life,
And one day, there would come a time,
When he could see other things, other facts than the fact…
That she would never be his wife.
This soldiering, broken man knew he had lost his chance when he lost her, as he
fingered the ring he had saved for her, as he had saved other things.
This soldiering man thought he was done with marriage, that there was nothing for him
in that goddamned institution.
Until he met her. Until he met her, something was missing, but then he found it.
He would never have a name for it. He had known love.
(He had known fear)
He had known trust
(He had known betrayal)
And just as he had experienced sex and closeness and responsibility,
He would never know the goodness in all of those things,
Because for all of his good looks and charm…
He was missing the other half of his heart.
John Sheppard loved Elizabeth Weir, and there was nothing else he could do for her, except love her as ardently as he did.