This really can't in any way be considered an actual "story"... or does our beloved Korean's ranting and storytelling count as a possible plot? :D
Regardless, here it is. This is what I come up with after eating grilled cheese with ketchup for lunch. XD (It's actually totally delicious. REALLY! :D)
Hi there~! My name is Im, Yong Soo! I'm 16~! Uwaah, I got a lot of stories to tell! Do you mind? Of course you don't!
First up! The other day I had lunch with Gilbert! He's German, I think. Probably? Anyway! So yeah! We were at the restaurant and he was getting some beer-related thing, while I was getting kimchi. Kimchi is the greatest ever and it originated in me. While we were waiting for the food, he kept going on and on about Matthew! Oh, Matthew is this quiet Canadian kid at our school. Gilbert denies liking him, but we all know the truth. Even Matthew, probably. He was talking about Matthew, and I was talking about Wang Yao. He's this totally hot senior at our school! Oh, he and his boobs belong to me, so back off. Me and Gilbert started arguing about which one was more awesome than the other. Do I even need to say which side won? No, because neither did. It went sort of like this.
"Verdammt, Yong Soo! Matthew is way awesomer than you or Yao! He's almost as awesome as me! And that's saying something!" Gilbert said.
"말도안돼! Wang Yao is SO much better than you AND that Matthew kid! Plus, "awesomer" isn't even a word!" I replied angrily.
Gilbert scoffed and took another gulp of his beer. "Oh yeah? Well I say it is, so god damn it, it will be. I'm too awesome to be denied simple rights like that."
Then it was my turn to scoff. "Yeah, right! Awesome originated in me, so HA!" I responded proudly.
Gilbert glowered at me. "No way, dude. If it originated anywhere, it was in ME. End of discussion."
"Is that anger or your hidden yaoi collection talking?" I asked coolly.
Gilbert flinched. "What are you talking about?"
I rolled my eyes, grinning. "We share a room. You thought I wouldn't find out about "Gilbert's Big Box of Awesome" eventually? Under your bed is a sucky hiding spot!" I replied loudly, making sure a few people heard me. Gilbert glared daggers at me. "Ooh, if looks could kill~!" I added in a sing-song voice.
"Verdammt, ich schwöre, wenn Sie ein anderes Wort über meine Yaoi Sammlung, ich reiß dein Herz heraus und sagen, füttern, um die Wölfe." he spat angrily under his breathe. Knowing he'd get angrier and yell it out, I frowned, pretending I hadn't a clue what he meant.
"Sorry, didn't catch that. Mind saying that in a more useful language?" I asked sweetly. I swear; he was so red! It was so great!
He opened his mouth to say something. Then he got smart and realized what I planned, and quietly spat a single "fuck you" before looking back at his beer.
I smiled. "Sorry, I'm just not into you. I'll call you if things don't work out with my beloved Wang Yao..." I replied happily, grinning at the thought of it actually working out. I mean, just because things didn't work out with Xiang and he moved back to Hong Kong, that doesn't mean I can't make something else work!
Gilbert rolled his eyes and gave a grin. "Whatever. I'll forgive you if you promise never to insult Matthew again. 'Cause next time, Your Royal Un-awesomeness might not make it out." he said, only half joking.
"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I'd much rather have Wang Yao's boobs than yours or that Canadian kid's…"
So, yeah! We worked things out, I think. Oh, and just so you know, boobs originated in me, too. Probably. It makes more sense if you don't think about it.
Oh, oh! A few days later, I went shopping with Feliciano! He's such a cute, lovable guy. But if I said he originated in me, Ludwig would probably kill me. German guns did not originate in me. Neither did German guys.
We were actually going shopping for Luddy's birthday! Yeah, Feliciano said that Luddy got angry because he spent all his money and stuff, so Feli asked me if I could help him! 'Cause I bet good sales originated in me, too. We got this cute stuffed doggy and a new porno DVD for him! I bet he's gonna be happy. Oh, and yeah, porno DVDs originated in me, too. Just sayin'.
Feli told me a lot of stories that day. Like how Ludwig can tie shoelaces, and protects him all the time and a bunch of other stuff that Feliciano, at least, thought was really impressive. I didn't want to ruin his good mood and tell him about 90% of all shoe owners know how to do that; he's only 15, for God's sake! Let the child have his dreams. Oh, and no, while dreams originated in me, children did not and will not. One of the advantages of being a guy, when you think about it. That pregnancy stuff looks like painful work. I mean, I don't think I can get pregnant... Anyways.
I even met with Wang Yao yesterday! I tripped myself and fell on him and kissed him. He was kind of quiet after that. I bet that now, he wants me to own his boobs! I can work with that! Maybe I should go find him right now! And tell him that I accept his offer! Hehe! 나중에보자!
Translations, in order of appearance-
Verdammt: Damn it
말도안돼 : No way
Verdammt, ich schwöre, wenn Sie ein anderes Wort über meine Yaoi Sammlung, ich reiß dein Herz heraus und sagen, füttern, um die Wölfe: Damn it, I swear, if you say another word about my yaoi collection, I will tear your heart out and feed it to the wolves.
Xiang: Since Hong Kong doesn't have a human name, I decided to come up with one. "香港" ("Hong Kong") is read Xiānggǎng. So, I took the first half and used it as his first name. (More likely than not, this is probably NOT an actual first name, so if you actually speak Chinese, please understand I was merely trying to improvise.)
나중에보자: See you later!
Now then! The (hopefully, since I spend a great deal of time on these) long awaited Author's Note! (Fun fact: I often spend more time writing the A/N than the story itself.)
God, it was SO much fun writing in Yong Soo's POV! I wish he had shown up in the anime. But he didn't, so I guess I'll have to deal with it. I was trying so, SO hard to not add Tony in here somehow… In the end, the only thing stopping our beloved alien friend from making an appearance was my lack of colorful vocabulary. I only know the basics, but I get the feeling Tony knows every insult, curse word and gesture there is! XD Tony's got such a pirate mouth... Ooh! I sense an excellent crack fic hidden in that statement~! Who do we know who used to be a pirate? Tell me if you like the idea...! (Yong Soo: Crack fiction originated in me~!) …Wait, seriously? :O That might explain some of it… So, um, yeah, this is like a full 3 pages XD hope ya'll enjoyed! *goes to eat something before I pass out from anemia* (Dammit, why do I collapse every time I pull an all-nighter or forget to eat? I'm too busy to be bothered with such trivial manners, verdammt!)
Oh, and just one final "fun" fact before I spare you: EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Every single time I meant to type "Wang Yao" I ended up typing "Wang Yaoi" XDDD
Now! Escape! Run while you still can! Run for your lives, lest my constant prattling will be the death of you! (No, it won't, but I can't imagine anyone likes hearing me rant like this.)
POWER TO THE BRITISH! XD
Eva-chan out.
(Update: Less than 10 minutes after posting it, I remember Hong Kong does have human names... Oh well! XDD)