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It was now summer time and it was a little past nine o'clock at night. The moon was full and stars were shining brightly in the darkness. Down one row of quiet suburban houses, all the lights were off and everyone was down for a good night's sleep. Almost everyone.

Still shaking a little from a nightmare, Harry Potter took a deep breath and tried to calm down, closing his eyes and taking slow deep breaths, attempting to push the painful memories away. It was getting harder and harder every day, especially here, at the Dursley's house. He was alone with none of his friends around.

Not that Ron or Hermione being around would have made much of a difference. He knew they cared, put they just didn't understand what it felt like to know that your responsible for someone's death. They didn't understand the pain and sorrow, and the heavy responsibility that had been placed upon his shoulders.

Harry had been having nightmares every night since arriving back here, and every nightmare was the same...it was always about Sirius.

He could still hear the sound of Bellatrix Lestrange shouting the killing curse at his godfather, watching helplessly as Sirius was struck, Sirius smiling at him one last time before fading away in the veil as Remus held him back. Harry remembered running after Bellatrix, step by step before finally catching up to her and attempting to use the Cruciatus Curse.

He could still hear Lord Voldemort's voice in his ear.

"You have to mean it Harry…she killed him…she deserves it."

"You know the spell."

It was all too much at once...the prophecy, Sirius's death, Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters killing innocent muggles and muggleborns almost on a daily basis…and he was the one people expected to stop it all.

He was one people expected to kill one of the most powerful wizards to ever exist. It was an impossible, ludicrous, and almost laughable idea…but he had to do it or he would die, just as the prophecy had said.

Kill or be killed.

Harry then realized he was shaking. He shoved all the thoughts and feelings away, as hard as he possibly could. It was difficult, far too difficult, because they never went away entirely, they never left no matter how much he wanted them to.

Closing his eyes, he tried to imagine what life would have been like if none of this had happened. All he ever wanted was a normal life, to not be known as 'The Boy Who Lived.' But after Harry closed his eyes, in his mind's eye he saw four graves lined up, one right next to the other.

The first one read, 'Sirius Black.'

"It was your fault." A voice whispered. It was a low purr that worked it's way though Harry's blood like a slow poison. "You went to the Department of Mysteries. You were the reason he went there, you got him killed."

"No." Harry said, his voice shaking. "I didn't mean for it to happen. I thought Voldemort had him…I only went to save him."

Then next grave next to Sirius's read, 'Cedric Diggory.'

"Cedric's death is your fault as well." The voice continued. "You were the reason he ended up in that graveyard. I guess that makes you a murderer."

"No!" Harry yelled. "It wasn't my fault! Wormtail killed him! There was nothing I could do!"

Then the next two graves appeared. They read, 'James Potter, and Lily Potter."

"And then of course, your parents. Your parents died to save you when you were barely born. How must that feel? To know that you caused someone to die before you could even say a word? How does it feel to know that they all died while you went on living?"

Harry couldn't respond and then the voice of Voldemort echoed through his mind.

'You will lose everything.'

Harry's eyes then snapped open and the thoughts and voices faded away when he heard a knock on his door. His brows furrowed as he got to his feet and made the few steps forward as he clutched his wand in his pocket. Harry slowly grabbed the doorknob, and turned to open the door just as his cousin Dudley raised his fist to knock again.

To say Harry was surprised was an understatement. Why was Dudley coming to see him and why at such an hour? Seeing his cousin's surprised face, Dudley's eyes went to the floor as he nervously said;

"Uh…hi Harry. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Harry continued to stare at Dudley for another second before finally moving away from the door to let the larger boy come in. Dudley walked inside the room and sat down on the chair next to Harry's small mattress.

"What do you want?" Harry asked.

He seemed uncomfortable as he began to speak again.

"Listen…I uh…I just want to…thank you for last summer. For saving me from those…things."

"I thought you blamed me for what happened to you!" Harry responded. He was utterly in shock that Dudley had just thanked him for saving him especially after how his cousin had reacted that night. He remembered Dudley pointing at him when his parents asked him who had done that to him when they saw his condition.

"Yeah…I know. Sorry about that, I was just scared, you know? I didn't know what was happening. Those things made me feel…" Dudley shook his head as he drifted off. "It was awful."

A foreign emotion towards his cousin rose in Harry's chest as he stared at Dudley. It was strange, but he actually felt a sense of sympathy for him. After all, he knew all too well the effects the Dementors had on a person.

"It's alright, Dudley. I know." He said quietly.

Dudley's head rose to meet Harry's gaze as some of the cold that the memory produced left him. He looked like he wanted to say something else but was quite unsure how to say it. Finally, he sighed a little and just let it out.

"Why do you do it? I mean…after what I had just said to you, about your parents…about your mum. I don't think I would done this same if that person had said that to me." Dudley lowered his head in shame. He had treated his cousin so badly not only that day, but in the past and he knew if the roles were reversed that night he wouldn't have saved him. He would have just ran away.

Harry looked down at Dudley's lowered head in surprise. He had never really thought about what he had done, or why he had done it. It just felt like the natural thing to do really.

But why had he saved the boy who always made his life miserable since they were toddlers, who always picked on him and taunted him? Harry shrugged, not really coming up with any kind of answer.

"You're my cousin, Dudley." Harry finally said. "And now…you're the only family I have left. I guess that still means something to me."

Dudley looked up at him in with a slight grin on his face over his answer and a glint of something that looked like determination flitted in his usually dull brown eyes as he came to a resolution. It was time it meant something to him too.

Harry didn't notice that Dudley had a brown paper bag in his hand. He lifted it up and handed it to Harry.

"I noticed you didn't come down for dinner, so I thought you might be hungry."

He opened the bag and saw that it was two cheeseburgers from Ed's Easy Diner. Harry looked back at Dudley and a small smile appeared on his face.

"Thanks."

"No problem." Dudley said as he got up. Truth be told, he had gotten the food for himself, but giving it to his cousin was the least he could do. "Don't worry, I didn't do anything to them."

"I believe you."

Dudley moved around him and headed for the door. Before he left, he looked back at Harry one last time.

"Hey, if you want to do something tomorrow…just you and me." He began awkwardly, trying to ask Harry he wanted to hang out. "If you want..."

"Sure." Harry responded, after all he needed to get out of here and get his mind off everything. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright."

As he closed the door and walked over to sit down on his bed, Harry couldn't help but smile a little. His cousin apologizing to him and making peace with him had actually put him in a good place for the moment. And lord knows, he needed it.