Me and my gold fish love cranial osteopathy-by checkyesjuliett

Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of the characters, nor will I ever.

I woke up and was startled by the proximity of Edwards face, blurry as it was in my morning haze. "Gah" I gasped, "human minuet". I raced through my morning routine and went downstairs to my awaiting breakfast. "Is there anything you can't do" I asked through mouthfuls of the best waffles I've ever tasted. "I can't blush like you can" he replied watching me eat with a bemused expression. "What would you like to do today".

Hmmm, in truth I'd like to squander my time idly, preferably kissing him, but I haven't seen any of my future family in a while. "Can we go to your house, I miss Emmet" yeah and his total inability to comprehend sarcasm. "Sure".

"Bella!" Alice squealed bouncing pixie like down the stairs "we have so much to do we need to…" Emmet butted in "actually Bella can you come shopping with me?" Huh, did that just happen I looked to Edwards who was glaring at Alice, as a mischievous smile spread across her face.

Later. "I still don't get why you need me with you" I whined, the jeep came to an abrupt halt throwing me forward in my seat. Ouch that's gunna hurt in the morning. "How else are you going to pick out your new fish?" he looked hurt. And it all became clear, as mud. Edward had been conspiring against me to get me to have human experiences.

I stopped to look at the array of bunnies on display before shaking my head; it was upsetting enough being incapable of looking after a fish let alone killing a rabbit. Emmet looked hopeful but I continued onto the aquariums.

I stared at the fish, willing one of them to volunteer to be my next victim, I sighed. Eventually I just picked a normal goldfish about the size of my little finger. Emmet insisted we got it a bowl and loads of fancy toys; it's a goldfish for crying out loud!

Emmet dropped me off at the house and went off, probably to plot his next prank, or the downfall of the government, sometimes it's hard to tell with Emmet. "See ya later 'kay" "adios mi amigo" he replied in a somber tone.

I placed my goldfish, newly christened bob, on my beside table. Edwards raised an eyebrow looking skeptical "a goldfish?" I could understand his reasoning, id already admitted to killing three in quick succession. " I know, I didn't want to upset Emmet".

I traced the purple patches under his black eyes with my fingers, "let me go shower okay". I left him staring intently into bobs bulging eyes.

When my pulse had returned to halfway normal, I went back to my room, to find Edwards still looking at the goldfish bowl, honestly vampires. "Do you think I need to feed him"? I asked, I knew nothing about fish. " I uh…well…"he shifted on his feet and looked at the floor ,uh oh.

I tapped the side of bobs bowl, he didn't appear, not good. "Can you begin by being open minded?" Edward pleaded; I stared at him in disbelief. "Bella, I cannot tell a lie, I ate your goldfish".