WARNING: This story contains male/male, same-size, soft, oral vore and digestion though it's magically non-fatal and painless. It also contains a male/male pairing. If these things are not to your tastes, I strongly suggest that you click away. If you do not know what vore is, I suggest you check out my profile for more information. If you are curious, I urge you to keep an open mind, and respect those of us who enjoy this sort of thing as we are not hurting you by sharing our interests. Additionally, this story contains dark themes, touching on topics like depression and hinting at suicidal thoughts. Please do not read this story if you are sensitive to such topics.
Additionally, the characters here will be OOC. I'm not even trying to get them into character here, because I just want this idea out of my brain and it won't leave me alone. That, and I'm actually a person who doesn't mind the occasional OOC story as long as it's written with mostly proper spelling, punctuation, and grammar.
A/N: This originally started out after I forgot my meds for a few days so my mood was crap. Then it turned into a vent story to help work through some of my own problems. In regards to Emil's behavior, his negativity, and his attitude at the ending, it may seem unrealistic, but I can assure you that it is very realistic. I drew on the feelings I remembered from times when I've been suicidal and struggling with depression to write him. Hell, I'm still plagued by such feelings—there's a reason I'm on meds. But I know people out there sometimes think these stories are exaggerated for effect. I can tell you I'm not; I've just adapted the situation to this scenario.
Oh, and part of the inspiration here was the skits you get if you leave Emil out of battle for long enough.
(Random trivia: I was actually debating on if I should finish this or not, and if I should bother posting it. Then I had a craptastic night where basically I couldn't do anything right, and I figure it's the universe's way of telling me to get my ass in gear and finish this then post it. I'm sure I'll regret this come morning, but… Meh.)
Disclaimer: I do not own Richter, Emil, Marta, Tenebrae, Aster, or Ratatosk. I do not own the world this story takes place in. The only thing I own is the plot. I make no money from this work of fiction; I do it to show my love of the characters in my own way (and to vent). All characters and locations mentioned by name belong to Namco-Bandai. (Seriously, if I owned this stuff, would I be writing fanfiction of it? Actually, knowing me, I would be. XD)
Once again, if you do not know what VORE is, I strongly advise you to check my profile for more information.
Emil sighs sadly, gazing up at the ceiling of his inn room. He and Marta have been resting in town for several days now, since the girl was feeling unwell. The downtime gives Emil a lot of time to think, and he's spent his time going over their journey so far. Really, for all the times that he helps Marta out, he thinks of just as many if not more times when she saves him during battle. He seems to find himself getting in her way more often than helping her lately. In fact, for quite a few battles now the girl has refused to allow him to fight. She has tried to pass it off with jokes, or light comments, but he can tell that she's just trying to keep him out of the way.
It all started during the last time Richter had confronted them, and Emil had found himself unable to put much effort into attacking the other male. Emil cares deeply for Richter, and has met with him in secret on quite a few occasions. Each time Emil finds himself learning something new about the man, and finds himself becoming fonder of him despite Richter's constant assertions that they are, in fact, enemies despite the friendliness the redhead has displayed of late. Still, he often gets in the way when they fight monsters together, and Emil is starting to feel that he's useless in battle these days.
The blond sighs again, rolling onto his side and staring at the wall. Without protecting Marta, he's found that he can't really think of a purpose in his life anymore. He left Luin with nothing, having simply gone with Marta because he'd been talked into this whole 'Knight of Ratatosk' thing by Tenebrae. He's grateful that he's had something to do for a while, and a reason to leave Luin, but he can't really figure out what to do now. Protecting Marta had given him purpose, and now that he finds himself barred from battle he feels lost. Being useful to Marta had felt great, and he desperately wants to be useful to someone again, but he can't figure out how.
He turns again, laying on his other side now. Closing his eyes, the boy allows his thoughts to drift back to Richter. Richter was the first person to show him any form of kindness, and he looks up to the man a great amount. He's begun to admit to himself that he's fallen in love with the redhead, though he knows Richter will never return his feelings. It saddens him, but he supposes it's just as well. After the last battle, it became quite clear to him that he couldn't fight the other male. Emil thinks that, in the end, Richter will end up making good on the threat of being forced to kill him to get to Marta. With this in mind, he supposes he has one last chance to be useful to the half-elf, and hopes that Richter will get at least some satisfaction from ending his life.
He blinks, wondering why he's having these thoughts, and he tries to banish them. They continue to return, however, and his thoughts become increasingly dark and self-depreciating as the night wears on. He struggles to fall asleep, and finally he gives up on proper rest and surrenders himself to his thoughts.
Richter stares into the fire he'd built earlier, an annoyed look on his face. He thinks this is the worst possible time for this problem to come up, and he growls softly. He really wishes it would have happened when he was in town, where he could actually take care of this annoyance, and he curses his misfortune to end up with this problem. He takes a deep breath, calming himself, and hopes that the next town isn't too far off, knowing that he'll be out of food by morning. While he generally finds his abilities quite easy to simply ignore and forget about, he detests this downside quite passionately. With another scowl into the flames, he reaches for his pack to grab something from his rapidly dwindling food supply.
Emil drags himself from bed, feeling exhausted. He's only gotten an hour or two of sleep, and he winces as he hears Marta calling loudly for him at his door. She must be feeling better, he supposes, and he grimaces at the thought of getting on the road again. He calls out that he'll just be a few minutes and he gets himself set for the day, sighing to himself as he leaves the room.
He wishes they could stay a little bit longer, but Marta is already chattering away about what direction they should head in and how grateful she is that they stopped and how she's feeling much better and he's not even paying attention anymore. His thoughts drift around as he follows Marta, and before he knows it several hours have passed and he's being told to stay back as a monster jumps out of the bushes nearby. He watches as Marta deals with the monster easily, a pang of sadness at his uselessness making him wince. Once the battle is completed, they resume traveling in silence for several hours.
That night, Emil finds that even while traveling he can't escape from his thoughts, and he wearily resigns himself to them.
The next few days are exhausting, and by the time three have passed, he's ready to collapse. He brushes it off when Marta expresses some concern, and he forces a smile on his face as they get ready to make camp for the night. He offers to collect some firewood, and insists when Marta tries to suggest that he stay and let her look for some. Emil mostly just wants some time to himself, and he heads off slowly. He quickly loses track of time as his thoughts begin to overwhelm him, and he's startled from them by a loud rumbling noise after a while.
The blond blinks and starts a second time as he hears another rumble coming from the distance. He thinks that he needs to get back, but realizes he was so spaced out he can't remember exactly which direction he came from. He thinks he knows the general direction, and walks quickly towards where he hopes Marta is. It's not long before rain is starting to come down, and it very quickly begins to pour. Emil can't see where he's going, and considers himself incredibly lucky when he stumbles upon a small cave formed by a large group of rocks. He stumbles in, collapsing to the ground.
Richter hugs his knees to his chest, eyes glazed over as he stares off into space. He mentally curses once again his problem and just wants it to go away. He's barely aware when the storm starts, but he's drawn from his dazed state by a thud. He turns, and blinks in surprise as lightning flashes, illuminating a familiar figure sprawled on the cave floor. The half-elf stares at Emil for a few moments before the blond pushes himself up, blinking to clear some water from his eyes.
Emil stares, surprised, at Richter. He can't believe he's run into the other male here, and it shocks him. After several minutes of silent staring, broken only by the sounds of the storm raging outside, Emil looks back at the ground. He's exhausted, but he doesn't want to be a bother to the older man. The cave is fairly small, and he's certain the redhead would prefer not to share it with him. Ignoring the protests of his body, he forces himself to his feet and makes as if to leave.
Richter is surprised when Emil silently begins to leave. Something seems very off about the boy, but he's too hungry to try and figure out what it is. Part of him thinks that it's good for Emil to leave, recognizing that his condition makes him a possible danger to the boy, but part of him doesn't want the kid to go out into the storm. His voice is a little strained when he calls out, "Wait, Emil."
Emil turns, confused, and asks, "Wh-what is it, R-Richter…?"
"Sit."
The blond complies, confused. He looks at Richter, and though the dim lighting makes it hard to tell he thinks that Richter looks unwell. He's concerned for the other male, but he doesn't suppose there's anything he can do to help him. He curses himself for his uselessness, and gazes back at the ground sadly. He can't tell if he's grateful for the silence, or made uneasy by it. Something seems off about the redhead, but he can't tell what. Still, he feels almost uneasy around Richter, and that's not something he usually feels with the half-elf.
Richter watches Emil for several minutes, startled a little from his dazed state as the blond sneezes. He quickly gathers up the small pile of wood he'd gathered before the storm had come, and lights it. He watches as Emil glances up in surprise, then looks back to the ground. Richter frowns, observing the blond in the light of the flames. He thinks that Emil looks very tired, as if he hasn't been sleeping properly of late. The last thing he wants is for the boy to get sick. "Emil, come here."
Emil scoots closer to Richter, though he keeps his gaze on the ground. He's surprised when he feels Richter undoing his scarf. He looks up, startled.
"You'll get sick if you stay wet, Emil." Richter proceeds to ignore the boy's weak protests, and lays his scarf by the fire. He then begins to work on removing the remainder of Emil's outfit, smirking faintly when the blond takes over, blushing. He thinks Emil is cute when he's blushing, but he quickly pushes that thought from his mind as Emil moves closer to the fire, shivering slightly. Still, Richter thinks that he's better off now that he's not in his wet outfit anymore. After a moment, the half-elf removes his coat and places it around Emil's shoulders.
Emil looks up, startled, and offers Richter a weak smile. He gazes back at the fire. After a short while he begins to nod off, and it isn't long before he's fallen asleep. His dreams aren't pleasant, though, and he twitches in his sleep, whimpering.
Richter watches Emil sleep, concerned at the unhappy look on the boy's face. He makes as if to reach for Emil, but pauses as a sharp pain lances through his stomach. He grimaces, wishing Emil had happened to have some supplies. He backs off from the boy, worried that he may do something to him if he gets too close. Still, his gaze keeps sliding back to the blond, and he's surprised when he realizes Emil has awakened again. The boy is staring sadly off into the distance, and Richter can't help but worry about him. When the younger male shivers again, Richter finds he cannot help himself, and he draws closer to the boy, pulling Emil into his arms.
Emil is surprised by the sudden embrace, and blushes fiercely. He's too tired to resist, though, and gazes back at the fire as Richter holds him. He thinks that Richter is warm, and he likes this, but he worries that he's a bother to the half-elf. He thinks that he's always a bother to Richter, and that he can't ever do anything to help the other man. He wishes he could be useful to Richter, and he finds his thoughts quickly returning to their dark, downward spirals. He tries to push them away, but is powerless to resist their overwhelming negativity.
Richter allows his thoughts to drift, and after a while he realizes Emil is nearly asleep in his arms. He winces again as another lance of pain comes from his empty stomach, and does his best to ignore it in favor of focusing on Emil. This proves to be a bad idea, however, as the half-elf finds himself beginning to lose control. He does his best to remain more or less calm, but something about Emil's scent is enticing, and he finds his ability to control himself slipping away quickly. As his self-control rapidly dwindles, he finds himself shifting, getting a little bit better a grip on the blond, and he gently licks the boy's cheek. Emil makes a startled sound, but Richter pays no attention to it. The last of his self-control vanishes, and he lets out a quiet growl.
The half-elf doesn't give Emil time to react further, quickly taking the boy's head into his mouth. He makes a quiet, pleased sound, unable to resist the blond's taste. Some part of him dimly registers the fact that Emil isn't struggling, but he doesn't pay any mind to it and swallows quickly, pulling the boy's head into his throat. All but completely driven by instinct now, it's not until Emil is starting to enter his stomach that the vague thought drifts across his mind that while he's gone too far to stop now, he'd rather not kill the boy. He shrugs the thought off, knowing that somehow Emil will be fine, though he's never really understood exactly how his innate abilities work.
Emil is stunned, unable to understand how this situation is even possible. Part of him wonders if this is a dream, and part of him hopes that it's real. He doesn't resist Richter, knowing he could never hope to overpower the half-elf and escape. Besides that, he's too exhausted to get far. Something about Richter makes him think that the man isn't in complete control of his actions, and he remembers how Richter had looked unwell earlier and the blond thinks that it must be related to what's happening now. He feels his body slowly curling up in the confined space within the redhead's stomach, and he remains relaxed so as to make things easier for Richter. He supposes that since he can't possibly escape, he might as well go along with it.
With a few more swallows, Richter feels the boy's feet slip inside him, and he lets out a contented sigh. The overwhelming hunger is finally gone, and he can't remember if he's ever felt so full before. He can feel movement coming from his meal, and he lets out a quiet sound of pleasure. He settles himself down on the ground, rubbing his distended gut contentedly.
Emil squirms a little, not trying to escape but to find a more comfortable position. He smiles sadly as he snuggles gently against the lining of the redhead's stomach. It's finally over, he thinks, and he finds that he doesn't mind this kind of ending to his journey. It comes as no surprise to him that Richter is the one who will take his life, though he never would have thought it would end this way. Still, he thinks that this is better than dying by the half-elf's blade. He's finally useful, he thinks, and that thought brings him peace. He's wanted so badly to be useful again, and if he can't battle to protect Marta then he's happy to surrender his life to Richter.
He finds his mind drifting as he can feel liquid starting to fill the stomach around him. He owes Richter so much, and now he can finally repay the man for all that he's done for him. This is a good death, he thinks, because now Richter will be happy—there will be no more obstacles to keep him from his goal. Besides that, Emil is happy to be close to Richter in the end, and he thinks that in a way he'll always be part of the half-elf now. Richter had looked very hungry before, and Emil hopes that he can be of use by keeping the man full for quite some time. He's a large meal, though he isn't sure how quickly he'll be digested since Richter is quite abnormal in that he can even do this. The blond yawns loudly, feeling completely exhausted. His body is tingling, and he's grateful that at least it doesn't hurt yet, though he's not sure how the acid isn't causing him pain right now. He feels himself falling to sleep, lulled by the softness, the warmth, and the quiet hissing of the acid dissolving him.
Richter yawns, feeling very sleepy now that he's finally had a good meal. He can't feel movement anymore, and it annoys him to lose that sensation, but he's too tired now to care much. He yawns again, giving his enlarged gut one last rub and allows himself to fall asleep, his stomach gurgling quietly as it works over his meal.
Richter stirs slowly, yawning sleepily. It takes him a short while to properly wake up, and when he does he's amazed at how good he feels. His overwhelming hunger is finally gone, and he feels great. Something feels off, but he shrugs it off after a few moments of thought that draw a blank. He sits up, putting his glasses on. The feeling of something being not quite right won't go away, though, and he wonders why. He glances around the cave, and pauses as he spots Emil's outfit on the ground. At first he's confused, but after a moment the memories of what happened the previous night rush back and he freezes, shocked.
He curses softly, unease coursing through him. The half-elf places a hand over his now-empty stomach, concerned for the fate of the blond. He isn't sure if he'd been aware enough of the consequences of his actions to put in place the special protections his abilities allow him to use, and he worries for Emil. He supposes the only thing he can do now is to hope he was able to protect Emil, and he closes his eyes, focusing. After a moment he begins to murmur something that sounds like an incantation, and a faint glow begins to rise off his skin. The glow slowly brightens, and begins to shift from his body to form a gradually growing sphere of light. After several moments he falls silent and opens his eyes, relief flooding through him at the sight of the now-large sphere settling slowly on the ground as it takes on a familiar shape.
He quickly pulls the sleeping blond into his arms, shaking slightly. All he can think about is how relived he is that he was able to put the proper protections in place, despite being overwhelmed by the downside to his abilities. He hugs the boy tightly, taking several deep, shaky breaths. It's not long before he can feel the boy stirring in his arms.
Emil slowly awakens, feeling himself being held against something warm. He remains still, eyes closed, for several moments before the memories of what happened drift back to him. He starts, pulling back and looking up to find himself in Richter's arms. He's very confused, and a bit disappointed. He thinks it must have been a dream, because he's clearly alive and unharmed. He frowns slightly as he registers the worry on Richter's face. Somehow, he knows that he's the cause of it, and a pang of sadness tugs at his heart. He looks down at the ground, blushing furiously as he realizes that he's completely naked. He knows he'd removed most of his clothes, but he'd left his underwear on… That is, until Richter had removed it while swallowing him. He wonders if that really did happen.
But Richter isn't happy right now, he can tell that, and he knows somehow that it's his fault. He just wants to be good enough to actually do something useful for once, but he thinks that all the does lately is screw up. He's clearly upset Richter, and he wonders how he can manage to fail to die properly without even fighting back. He had thought he would finally be able to be of some use to Richter, but he supposes that had been far too much to hope for. He can feel a burning in his eyes, and he struggles to keep the tears from spilling over. I guess I'm just going to be useless forever…
Richter is even more concerned when he feels Emil begin to shake, and he realizes the boy is starting to cry. He holds the blond tightly, but worries that Emil won't appreciate it. He had swallowed him, after all, and he wonders if Emil is afraid of him. He hesitantly addresses the blond, murmuring, "Emil, please don't cry. I… I'm sorry for what happened last night, Emil. I never wanted to do that to you… I just… Lost control…"
Emil is surprised by the apology, and thinks that it sounds strange, coming from Richter. He sniffs, trying to stop his tears, and quietly responds, "D-Don't a-apologize, R-Richter… It w-was my f-fault…"
Richter just stares at Emil, confused. He can't understand how the blond could possibly think that was his fault, and he frowns, sensing that something is very wrong with Emil. "Emil… It's not your fault, how could you think that?"
Emil sighs weakly, wishing Richter would just give it up already. It was his fault, he's sure. Whenever things go wrong lately, he's the one responsible somehow. He responds, "I… I should have l-left last n-night… I… I'm s-sorry I w-was a b-bother…"
"Emil… You weren't a bother. It was my fault for telling you to stay. I knew I was dangerous, but I didn't want you to go out in the storm… I… Was worried about you." Richter is surprised by the short, quiet laugh Emil gives. It's not a pleasant laugh, and the half-elf has never heard the blond use that tone before when he speaks.
"Don't lie, Richter… I-I'm your enemy… You… You don't w-worry about your e-enemies…" Emil looks up at Richter again, a mix of sadness, confusion, and self-loathing filling his face as he asks, "Why? Why am I not dead, R-Richter? I should be…" He sounds almost let down.
Richter raises an eyebrow and says, "You don't sound too happy to be alive, Emil." He's surprised by the unhappiness that settles on the younger male's face at his statement.
Emil looks away, his voice sharp when he speaks, though it's obvious he's unhappy with himself rather than the half-elf. "Why should I b-be happy? Wh-what point is th-there in a-anything… Y-You're my e-enemy, and M-Marta just… I can't do anything right a-anymore… She n-never lets me fight, and I… I don't have a p-purpose n-now. I-I can't g-go back to L-Luin, a-and even if I-I could, th-they all h-hate me…" He trails off for a moment, struggling to keep his voice under control as his emotions overwhelm him. He can't stop the fresh wave of tears, and he finally gives in, sobbing in the redhead's arms.
Richter is alarmed. He's never seen Emil like this, and he's very worried for the boy's obviously unhealthy emotional state. He holds the blond tightly, stroking his hair gently and trying to reassure him. The redhead falls silent when Emil continues, though it's a bit hard to understand the boy through his tears.
"E-everything that g-goes wrong l-lately is m-my fault, Richter… I… I'm useless… N-nobody cares about m-me anymore n-now that I c-can't do anything r-right… M-Marta doesn't l-let me fight, a-and that's th-the only purpose I h-had since I w-was forced to l-leave Luin… Y-you keep insisting that w-we're enemies but you've d-done the most for m-me and I'll never be a-able to repay you… But w-we're enemies so y-you'll just kill me i-in the end anyway… I just… I… Why, R-Richter? Wh-why didn't k-kill me? I th-though I'd finally b-be useful a-again… I just… I… I w-want… I just…" Emil stops trying to talk, unable to force the words out any longer. He cries harder, shaking uncontrollably. The blond tries to push away from Richter, to leave and go somewhere where he won't be a pest to anybody, but finds himself held tight in the half-elf's arms.
Richter is speechless. He'd always known the boy had self-esteem issues, but he hadn't suspected how deep his emotional problems ran. He thinks that he should have realized it, but he wasn't able to see it until now. There's something very wrong with Emil, and Richter suspects that it's been going on for quite some time. He holds Emil tightly, refusing to let go, and he continues to try and reassure the younger male. "Emil, please don't cry. I'm sorry, Emil. I never realized how much you needed somebody to care. I know I've told you off for weakness, but I didn't realize I was making things worse. Everything will be alright, Emil." Something about this situation seems familiar to him, and some hard thought brings back memories he'd buried deeply.
The realization strikes Richter hard, as he remembers a startlingly similar situation from his own past. He recalls breaking down like this before, how he'd clung to Aster and cried into his friend's shirt. Aster had been there for him when he'd broken, and Aster had helped him escape his depression. He looks down at Emil with new understanding, and something inside him snaps. Emil may have been his enemy in the past, but he's wanted the blond's friendship for some time now. He has a chance to start over with Emil now, and he won't let Emil suffer through this alone. Aster once saved him, and now he will do everything he can to save the younger male. Richter gently nuzzles against the blonde, whispering, "Shhh… I'm here, Emil. I'll take care of you, I'll be here for you. I know some of what you're going through, Emil, and trust me, it does get better. I had a friend once who saved me from myself. Let me do the same for you, Emil."
Emil sniffs, blinking up at the half-elf through his tears. He can't bring himself to believe Richter's telling the truth, knowing all too well how convincing people can be when they lie about caring only to turn to taunting later. It must have shown on his face, because the boy finds himself being held tighter, and he can feel one hand running gently through his hair as Richter tries to reassure him that he's sincere. Emil has never known Richter not to be sincere in his statements, and part of him desperately hopes that Richter's telling the truth. He still can't bring himself to believe it, though, even as he presses closer to the redhead, whimpering again.
Richter isn't sure how long he spends soothing the blond, but eventually Emil has calmed down, and Richter gently helps the boy get back into his outfit. He pulls the boy back into a tight hug before they leave, whispering into his ear, "Everything will be alright, Emil. It will take time, but I'll make sure you recover."
Despite the doubt nagging him in the back of his mind, Emil smiles weakly, murmuring, "Th-thank you, R-Richter…" He's not sure if he can really trust the half-elf, but he wants to. Maybe… Maybe things will get better…