I was leaning against the bar surrounded by my friends from the 12th. All I managed to grasp was Espo laughing at Ryan's expense making everybody chuckle. I stayed focused on the glass of whiskey clenched in my hand. I was playing with it, tilting it from the right to the left so I could see the liquid fire move. I was completely unaware of my surroundings. It was just me and the glass. I was trying to think, but my head was empty. My inner world was divided into two spheres, where one of them meant I could be happy, and the other one sentenced me to feeling like I was stuck in the middle of nowhere forever.
At one moment, I lifted my head and my eyes met with Beckett's for a split second. I tried to give her a smile, but she had already turned to talk to Josh, who was holding her hand at the table in front of the bar. I felt the emptiness in my chest again as if it were just my body and nothing in it. My concentration was not directed towards the glass of whiskey anymore, but I fixed my gaze upon the most mysterious woman I had ever met.
She looked so beautiful. Even though she had spent the whole night at the precinct looking for enough evidence to bring our victim justice, still dressed in the same jeans and a white silky blouse she wore the day before, she looked more beautiful than ever.
It had been a difficult night for all of us at the precinct. We couldn't convict the killer because we were lacking crucial evidence. Only a few more hours and he was gonna disappear forever…
All the sudden Josh got up, lowered his head to kiss Beckett's forehead and I was trying to figure out why he was leaving. Did I really care, though?
I came back from my try-to-figure-things-out-journey and without thinking I started walking to the table she had sat at with Josh before.
"Hey." I say.
"Hey, Castle." She tries to fake a smile as she tucks strands of her loose hair behind her right ear. I'm not buying it.
"What's wrong?"
"You know what's wrong." The forever strong voice sounds just like it is supposed to break in a few seconds. She makes an eye contact with me after she takes the drink I had brought her. Our hands touch for a second or two. I don't wanna let go.
Those eyes get me every time. I can't look into those hazelnut-colored wonders without not thinking of all the times they have shared a glance with mine.
"Look, Beckett… We did what we could and you know that." My body is not listening to my brain and I extend my hand to feel hers. The dim light of the bar reflects on her thin fingers as I wrap mine around them.
At this point, I do not care if anybody sees us. It is me and her. I see her perplexed look on her face even though she is not looking at me. She has her look fixed on our hands.
"Yeah, I do Castle, but it just isn't enough for me…." She says, her voice trembling, not lifting her gaze from our hands.
"I know." I draw my other hand towards hers and I hold her firmly. My head is a mess, but a beautiful one. I wish this moment would never end.
She finally looked into my eyes and her lips curved into a smile.
With her, I wasn't stuck.