Hello! This story is a scenario where "A" in Pretty Little Liars never existed at all. I will be writing in other liars POV in a simular scenario but I wanted to start with Emily. Here you go! Enjoy!
**Caution**
If you don't like sad or dark writings, I'm not so sure this story is the one for you.
I lied so much about how I felt, I actually believed it myself sometimes. When I did believe it I would remember my horrifying life and come crashing down. People asked if it was because I'm gay, of course I said no. Even if the reason my life was worthless was because I'm gay, they wouldn't care. No one would. In fact if I just disappeared of the face of the Earth, no one would notice. They would go on living their sick and twisted lives, unaware of the mess they are making.
I wished I hadn't pushed everyone away, especially Alison. I imagine my life wouldn't have come to this hurricane of emotions and hurt if I had just listened to her. Ali told me to hang on to the last bit of hope that I have in my heart. I just shut her out every time, pushing away the light and welcoming the darkness. She eventually got tired of trying and gave up. She tried and tried to break my walls, tried to bring me out of this hole of depression but every time she got closer, I just added more walls. More reasons for her to hate me. Now in the halls she doesn't look at me, like she was afraid that if she did, she might catch the sadness. None of them look at me anymore. Not even a glance.
I look at the scars on my thighs and as my tears fall from my colorless face and hit the gashes in my skin I wince. It stings but it seems everything I do in this life hurts. I sit on my bed, naked. Hell, I think, I can't even get dressed without thinking that I am worthless.
I walk down these halls, ignoring the whispers about me. I've heard it all before. Maybe all of it's true, but what does it matter? Knowing what's wrong isn't going to change anything. I'm still going to be the orphan. Yes that plays a factor in the blackness in my soul. But that's not everything. Oh no, there's so much going wrong in my life you could write a book length list. As I walk into my first class the room goes silent. I am so used to the silent welcomes and the gaping faces. As I sit down I groan in pain. My jeans rub against my cuts and I am pretty sure they are bleeding. I don't care. I haven't cared since Hanna took her own life. I haven't cared since my dad died in action and my mom moved away and left me behind. I felt like crying, but I don't. I just sit up and play the part of a student. I still get A's but who cares? I live alone with no one to come home to. No one cares about me. No one cares.
More coming soon. Please review and suggestions are welcome. This story is going to be dark so be cautious!
-Rose