I wrote this a long, long, long time ago when I couldn't spell the names of the people and to dammed lazy to rewrite it. And I received an e-mail the day after I posted this, and someone did a proof read type thing and I wanted to say thank you. Anyway on with the ficcie! Is ficcie a word? And I also wrote this when I couldn't spell very well either, so I hope you people can forgive that.
"The Unhappy Couple! The twisted wedding!"
+---------------+
Ranma ½ is © Viz Video
2001
+-----------------+
+--------------------------+
Midnight: Tendo Dojo; mysterious figures are moving in the bush.
Ranma wakes up
with a jolt.
Ranma: Huh? What was that?
(Ranma gets up and walks outside the dojo. An eerie breeze blows.
Ranma looks
and looks but can't seem to find anything)
Ranma: Oh well. Maybe it was just my imagination.
Morning: Tendo Hall; Kasumi's in the kitchen cooking breakfast.
Kasumi: Oh my! Father come look at this!
Soun: What is it Kasumi?
(Looks down. See a brown package on the steps. Soun opens the
package.)
Soun: Well why would you look a this. It seems someone left us six
airline
tickets and a note:
Dear Tendo and Saotome Families:
You have won a all expense paid trip to the new "Tokyo hot springs
Hotel and
Casino! You may come this weekend. Just tell them Mr. Ed sent you!
Thank you,
Mr. Ed
Kasumi: Wow! A trip! I'll start packing the bags now! That Mr. Ed is
very nice!
Akane: Did Kasumi say we where going on a trip?
Ranma: Who's Mr. Ed?
Soun: Why yes Akane, to the NEW! Tokyo Hotel, this weekend.
Akane: How come?
Ranma: Who's Mr. Ed???
Soun: We won it!
Akane: Who entered a contest?
Ranma: WHO'S MR ED?????
(Soun look's a the note once more and has a puzzled look on face.
Ranma comes in
the kitchen to hear this.)
Soun: Well, I don't know.
Akane: That's weird…
Ranma: Well, there was something weird outside last night…
Maybe that's what it was, Mr. Ed putting something on our door.
Akane: Maybe…
Soun: Oh well! Lets just go and have a good time!
Friday morning airport; The Tendo's and Saotome's are getting off the
plane to
see a limo waiting for them.
Genma: This is so exciting!
Nabiki:...
Akane: Let's go come on! (they collect there bags and get into the
limo)
Ranma: Did Mr. Ed get us the Limo?
Soun: This is soo EXCTING!
Ranma: Did Mr. Ed get us the limo? (Everybody is ignoring Ranma.)
Akane: Did you hear something Ranma? (turn's to see Ranma with a very
unhappy
look on his face)
Ranma: ...
(They all pile in a limo and head for the Tokyo hot spring's
Hotel/Casino When
they got out, they have 5 humans and one panda)
Genma_panda's signs: You didn't have to splash me ya know!
Ranma: I was you or me pop!
Kasumi: Come on!
(they go inside to be greeted by a tall man)
Man: Hello, welcome! My name is Michael.
Ranma: (under breath) what kinda name is Michael?
Michael: It's American!
Ranma: Oh…
Michael: Now for the rooms, what is your name sir?
Soun: Tendo Soun
(Michael looks at his book)
Michael: Ah! Yes. Let's see, three rooms. Hum… Mr. Tendo and Mr.
Saotome, room
345, Tendo Kasumi and Tendo Nabiki room 346, (Ranma and Akane's face
fall)
Saotome Ranma and Tendo Akane room 394. Wait its Saotome Ranma and
Tendo Akane
room 349.
Ranma & Akane: …
(They turn facing Genma and Soun.)
Ranma: How come I have a feeling that YOU had something to do with
this?
(Genma takes out his tire and starts playing with it)
Soun & Genma_panda's sign: Me? Noo!
Ranma: Well whatever! (Grabs key from Michael and stomps up stairs)
Ranma: Great! A week with an uncute tomboy!
Akane: RANMA NO BAKA!
(the VERY unhappy couple head up stairs. They could be heard yelling
all the way
on the 3rd floor)
Nabiki: Who's GREAT idea was to put them two together?
Genma: (who happened to find some hot water) Why Soun and me of
course! When
they get in there room they will find a wedding ring and a note.
Kasumi: Oh, my!
Nabiki: Are you (pointing at Genma and Soun) personally TYING TO RUIN
THEIR
LIVES? (clams down)If they WHERE ready to get married wouldn't they
tell you?
And why the hell did you put them in the same ROOM?
Soun: (sweat drop) Well you see Nabiki, we have to take ACTION!
Nabiki: Well, this _is_ your problem, _so_ don't expect _us_ to bale
you out.
Come on Kasumi!
Kasumi: Oh, okay.
* * *
Friday night: Ranma and Akane's room.
Akane: Look, Ranma. It's _obvious_ that our parents did this.
Ranma: I know, it was. THEM.
Akane: Look, either we be civil to each other, or, or switch with,
Nabiki, or
Kasumi
Ranma: I'd rather share a room with you then Kasumi or Nabiki.
Akane: AND WHAT US THAT SUPOST TO MEAN?
Ranma: I'm just saying that I'm your, your fiancée, I'm NOT there's.
It would be
_weird_, okay? I know- oh, never mind. At the end we are going to be
married
anyway.
Akane: WHAT?
Ranma: Never mind.
Akane: Baka.
Ranma: Un Cute, tom-boy. (Akane throws a pillow at him.)
(The seen fades)
* * *
Kasumi: Why do care so much anyway, Nabiki? What if Akane is well,
Happy?
Nabiki: Onesan, we won't be able to get any sleep, with all they're
arguing.
Kasumi: (sweat drop) So you don't care, about Ranma-kun and Akane-
chan's
feelings?
Nabiki: No not really.
Kasumi: …
* * *
Genma: Do you hear that, Tendo?
Soun: Hear what Saotome?
Genma: The, wedding bells, Soun, the wedding bells!
Soun: (crying) My little Akane, is all grown up!
Genma: Calm down, Soun! Akane and Ranma, well be married here if they
like it or
not. The chapel is booked and the dress is made. Our family honor is
at stake
here, Tendo. Oh, Nodoka well be so happy.
* * *
(Ranma and Akane are headed down stair's to find out why exactly they
are here.)
Michael: Ah, if it isn't the _happy_ couple.
Ranma: Do you have a planed weekend for us Michael?
Michael: Yes we do. Here you go take a look.
(Ranma scans the days to come but one particular thing gets his
attention)
Ranma: The, the, Sao-Saotome Ten-Ten-Tendo, we-wed-wedding???
(Ranma faints)
Akane: (Wakes Ranma with glass of water).
Ranma-Chan: WHAT HAPPENED?
Akane: Are you okay, Ranma?
Ranma-Chan: Read this.
Akane: Hum, lets see, swimming, tennis, hot springs, um dinner,
_SAOTOME-TENDO
WEDDING?_ WE ARE GETTING MARRIED? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM? CAN'T THEY
WAIT?
(Over the intercom) WILL TENDO SOUN, AND SAOTOME GENMA PLEASE COME TO
THE FRONT
DESK!
Michael: Your not suppose to use that!
(Soun and Genma come down to see Ranma-Chan and Akane very un-happy
looking)
Genma: What's the matter, boy?
(Ranma-Chan shoves the paper in to his hands)
Ranma-Chan: This is what the problem is!
Genma: Oh, yeah. You see we think it's time you get married. Your
mother is very
unhappy, and worried. She wants you two to get married right away, or
_else_.
(Ranma-chan gets some hot water and changes back. Michael is in shock
and he
faints)
Ranma: She said that? (Meekly) Okay, I'll get married, for mom.
Soun: Akane?
Akane: OKAY. I'LL GET _MARRIED_! I WON'T BE HAPPY BUT I'LL DO IT! GRR!
Soun: (crying) I'm so, happy!
(Kasumi and Nabiki come down to see what's going on, Akane has a look
of horror,
and Ranma looks mad, but you can tell there is also some excitement
in his eyes.)
Nabiki: What is going on?
Soun: Ranma and Akane are getting married! (Still crying)
Kasumi: Oh! I am so happy for you!
Ranma: yeah, right.
Akane: At least Shampoo and Ukyuo won't be here. No telling what they
would do.
Ranma: …
Genma: Michael, now that they know can we move the wedding to
tomorrow?
Michael: (gets up) What do you mean "Now that they know?", wait I
don't even
want to know. Fine, nobody's using the chapel tomorrow. Why not!
Genma: Great!
Ranma & Akane: …
Akane: NEXT TIME YOU DO THIS, YOU MAY WANT TO _TELL_ THE COUPLE!
Ranma: YEAH! NO I HAVE TO EAT HER COOKING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!
Akane: WHAT IS THAT SUPOST TO MEAN?
Ranma: I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!
Akane: Fighting is no way to solve problems.
(Everybody face-faults)
Ranma: Are you okay? (Fells her forehead) No, no fever… Hum…
Akane: I am perfectly fine. I going up stair's
Ranma: Wait you have the key! (He runs after her, he catches up to
her.)
Akane: Why can't they just let us wait _until_ we are ready. All they
think
about is them selves, and the dojo not about us. Oh Ranma, what are
we going to
do? They think we are their little puppets, or characters in a show
where they
can play with there minds. Do you ever get the feeling that people
are always
watching us?
Ranma: Yes. (Opens doors to revile Genma, Soun, Nabiki, and Kasumi) I
can't
believe this! Can't you people find something better to do then SPY
on people?
(They leave all going different ways) What the _hell_ are they
thinking?
Akane: I have no idea… and I don't really want to know.
Ranma: Oh well it's getting late, good night. (he pulls a pillow and
blanket off
the bed and heads to little couch in the corner and goes to sleep)
Akane: Good night, Ranma. (Thinking) What am I going to do? I think
I'll go see
Nabiki and Kasumi.
(She goes down the hall to Nabiki's and Kasumi's room.)
Akane: (whispering) Nabiki? Kasumi? It's me Akane.
(Nabiki comes to the door and lets her in, Kasumi is reading a book
and Nabiki
was watching the news. Akane stars to cry)
Nabiki: What's wrong Akane?
Akane: It's, it's the whole wedding thing. I don't want to get
married now I'm
not ready.
Nabiki: There's no changing those lugs minds now. You love him, ne?
Akane: NABIKI!
Nabiki: Well do you? (Akane glares at her) Then what's the problem
it's obvious
that her loves you. He's is there for you rescues you and defends you.
Akane: I guess.
Nabiki: I mean p-chan can't do that for you.
Akane: What does P-chan have to do with this?
Nabiki: You mean, you don't know?
Akane: Know what?
Nabiki: Oh, boy…
Akane: Naio?
Nabiki: P-Chan is, Royga, Royga is P-chan.
Akane: He, he is?
Nabiki: Ranma didn't tell you?
Akane: No…
Nabiki: weird…
Akane: THAT ROYGA IS GOING TO DIE! (She cracked her knuckles)
Nabiki: Clam down
Akane: Okay, well I'm going to bed.
Nabiki: Don't stay up to late now. (she has a grin on her face)
Akane: Naio?
Nabiki: Never mind.
Akane: Ja ne!
Nabiki: Ja ne.
(Akane goes down the hall back to her room, she opens the door to see
Ranma has
now fallen off the couch and was on the floor mumbling in his sleep)
Akane: (thinking) This is what I'm gunna live with. Oi.(She goes into
the
shower. About 10 minutes later she comes out.)
Ranma: (rubes his eyes) Why am I on the floor? (He mumbles and goes
in the bath
room)
Akane: Ranma no Hentai!
Ranma: Gomen, gomen!
Akane: Baka (She goes and changes and gets into bed trying to get
some sleep.)
(Ranma then emerges out of the bathroom)
Ranma: (quietly, thinking Akane is asleep) You sure are cute when you
sleep, you
know?
Akane: You think so?
Ranma: Ah! I though you are, where asleep!
(Akane giggles and falls asleep)
Akane: (mumbles in her sleep) Heehee! Take that Shampoo! Nobody takes
*snore*
away from me! Heehee!
Ranma: (laughs) She's even violent in her sleep. (Laughs some more,
and manages
to go to sleep.)
Akane: Heehee! (Still asleep)
* * *
Soun: Oh no, oh no! This is a disaster!
Genma: Naio?
Soun: Nodoka isn't going to be here! She can't make it out!
Genma: That's all? We'll tape it for her!
Soun: I didn't think of that, good thinking Saotome!
Genma: That's why I'm here Tendo, that's why I'm here!
Soun: (splashes Genma) Don't be to modest Mr. Panda!
Genma_Panda: Grhaheonakdn!
Soun: Ah? What is that Saotome?
Genma_Panda's sign: "Sometimes I think that you hate me Tendo!"
Soun: No, why would I hate my freeloading houseguests? Especially
since his son is marring my daughter! HooHoo!
(Genma is now playing with his ball and humming)
Soun: Saotome, Saotome, Saotome! (Laughs)
* * *
Nabiki: They are crazy, all of them! Our parents are BAKAS!
Kasumi: Now Nabiki, clam down. I'm sure that Ranma-kun and Akane-chan
will be
happy together.
Nabiki: I guess your right Sis. But they are so young!
Kasumi: I know, and don't they want to go to collage with you and
there friends?
(Knock, Knock!)
Kasumi: Come in! (Ukyuo comes in) Oh! Hi Ukyuo!
Nabiki: Why are you here?
Ukyuo: Me miss Ranchan's and Akane's wedding? I may not be happy, but
Ranchan
is my best friend.
Kasumi: Does Ranma-kun know that you are here?
Ukyuo: I don't think so, I was just going to say hi to him. Do you
know what
room he's in?
Nabiki: 349, with Akane, our _parents_ planed this.
Ukyuo: I should've know that… Well Ja ne!
Kasumi & Nabiki: Ja ne!
* * *
(Ukyuo knocks on Ranma & Akane's door. Akane opens it shocked but
lets her in)
Akane: Ukyuo? What are you doing here?
Ukyuo: Your and Ranchan's wedding of course! Where is that lucky guy?
(Akane can't believe that Ukyou is not mad or upset about this)
Akane: Come in, I think he's in the bathroom. Come in and have a seat!
Ukyuo: Arigoto, Akane.
(A few minutes of silence go buy and Ranma emerges from the bathroom,
in his
normal outfit on.)
Ranma: Hey, Akane who's at the door?
Ukyuo: Ranchan!
Ranma: oh, Hi Ukyuo. Ukyou?? Why are you here? I mean-
Ukyuo: I had to explain this like 2 times now… Oi. Your and Akane's
wedding, of
course!
Ranma: Your, your not *gulp* mad are you?
Ukyuo: No! I'm happy for you Ranchan! Why wouldn't I be? You're my
best friend.
Ranma: *sigh of relief* Ua… Shampoo doesn't know `bout this does
she?
Ukyuo: No, and even if she did she is way to busy at the Nekohaten,
now. Heehee!
Akane: What do you mean?
Ukyuo: Oh nothing…
Akane: Well _I_ have to go to Kasumi and Nabiki's room
(Akane stomps off to there room)
Ranma: …
Ukyuo: Are you excited? (She pokes him in the side and he starts to
rub it.)
Ranma: No, why would I? I am going to ruin my youth and gunna be
stuck, who
knows where, with you know who.
(Ukyuo face faults and gets up and starts to laugh)
Ranma: What's so funny?
(Ukyuo points to Ranma's suit, half the shit is tucked in along with
the jacket
and the other half is out. Ranma quickly fixes this and says good-bye
to Ukyuo,
because he has to get ready. They say good-bye and Ukyuo went off to
help Akane
get ready.)
Ranma: (Thinks) Man oh man this is gunna be horrible! I'd kill him if
I could!
(Ranma clenches his fist together.) Ain't I got no say in this? But
mom… I don't
like to make her mad. I, I wonder what life with Akane is going to be
like. (The
scene begins to fade in to a fantasy of Ranma`s)
(Ranma is walking to a house. There he sees Akane and P-Chan. P-Chan
is
wandering around the house and Akane is yelling for Royga to chance
back and do
the dishes. Akane sees Ranma and picks up the futon and hits him over
the head
for trying to kiss her. Ranma rubs his head and say's, "Why'd ya do
that for?"
Then Akane calls him a Baka and hits him into tomorrow.)
Ranma: (thinks) She's even violent in my fantasies *shudders*. What
if is was
getting married to Ucchan? Hum
(once again the scene fades and we are in Ranma's fantasy)
(Ranma walks into a good-sized apt. and looks around.
Ranma: Yoo-Hoo! Ucchan!
Ukyuo: Ranma-honey! What are you doing home early?
Ranma: (sweat drop) I don't know really.
Ukyuo: That's what you get when you marry a martial artist!
Ranma: (thinking) a lot more peaceful then life with Akane-chan.
Chan? Why'd I
think that? (Pounds his head) (Out loud) Are you playing mind games
with me brain? (He laughs and rubs his head and gets up off the
futon. He starts to walk to Genma's room to hurt him. He is surprised
to see Genma and Soun gone and decides to take a walk.)
* * *
Akane was thinking about the dream she had last night she couldn't
make it go
away… (Akanes is in her room, but she only sees three walls.)
Akane: Ranma? (Ranma comes in the room caring what looks like a
script)
Ranma: Yes Akane-chan?
Akane: What did you just call me? (Pulls out her always there handy
bucket of
water and splashes water. But, nothing happened Ranma just stood
there socking
wet. Akane could not believe what she was seeing.)
Ranma: Ua, Akane are you all right?
Akane: You, I splash, no change?
Ranma: Come on Akane you know that only happens on the show.
Akane: S-Show?
Ranma: Akane, we do a TV show. You know Ranma ½?
Akane: So you mean, that we're not getting married?
Ranma: (he laughs, and points to his finger then to hers) Akane, we
are married
and have been for a year now.
Akane: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Akane: (thinks: well that dream is just a little too weird for me.
Her sisters
drag Akane into the chapel.)
Kasumi: Oh my, Akane have you been eating more lately?
Akane: No!
(They get to the chapel and Soun has decided on a western wedding.
Kasumi and
Nabiki leave Akane with her father. As soon as they started
playing "Here comes
the bride" Akane dragged her crying father and stomped down the isle.
Ukyuo was
sitting with Nabiki, Kasumi and the rest of the Saotomes/Tendos.)
Priest: Do you Ranma take Akane to be your wife?
Ranma: (mumbled) Yeah, whatever.
Priest: Do you Akane; take Ranma to be your husband?
Akane: I guess...
Priest: Ranma please give Akane the ring.
(Ranma throws the ring at Akane. Akane puts it on her finger and
snarls)
Priest: I now pronounce you husband and wife. You, ua, may now kiss
the bride?
(Ranma and Akane look at each other in a look of horror)
Ranma & Akane: No!
Soun & Gunma: Yes! (The take their Childers heads and put them
together. Akane
has her eyes open wide, Ranma is sweating and has a look of shear
terror on his
face. He kicks his dad in the leg and he lets go of Ranma.)
Genma: Boy you have no honor! Not kissing your bride like that. Look
at her
(Waves at Akane who is yelling at her dad.) She's mortified, that her
bride-groom didn't kiss her. Look at her face boy (her face is now
red and her
fists are clenched yelling at the top of her lungs, the Priest face
faults.)
Genma: Poor Man, look what you did Ranma!
Ranma: I didn't do that! Look what you did to Ukyo (Points to Ukyo
who is
laughing hysterically.) You drove her to insanity! (He walked over to
Ukyo)
Ukyo: Ranma, why am I glad that I didn't marry you?
Ranma: Ukyo? Are you drunk?
Ukyo: (Tipsy) Of course not Ranma honey! (Hiccup) Woo! Party!
(Shampoo jumps in
through the window.)
Shampoo: No, AIREN! (Ranma shows her his figure.) NO! You marry
Shampoo!
Ranma: Nope sorry Shampoo! (He grabs Akane) I'm happily married!
(Akane turns
blue)
Shampoo: NO! (She starts crying. Akane hits Ranma into the floor.)
Akane: And don't you ever touch me again, Humph.
Ranma: Ouch.
+---+
The end… or is it?
+---+
Thanks for reading tell the end. The end of this beautiful day shall
be up soon.
Flames and comments welcome.
By: Aeris.
Revised or "proof read" by: