A/N...Welcome all to Burning Up. I'm not sure how fast my updates will be for awhile, so be patient with me please. For those that read my other story, this is going to be VERY different. As I've said already this is an AU/AH story. There will be mature themes dealt with, including abuse and rape. This is your warning. If you are offended by reading these things stop now and go choose another story. This story is autobiographical in some ways (including the abuse and rape), so please believe me when I say that I DO NOT take these themes lightly. This story has been very cathartic for me. The more I write and see my story in black and white, the more I feel healed. There will be future lemons.
Thank you to Wndrngy for betaing.
Without further ado...
Prologue- Hurt
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
~Hurt by Nine Inch Nails
I had just received the call I hoped I would never get. The call that the love of my life, my everything, was being rushed to the hospital. This was why I had been so reluctant for us to start dating. Our life together flashed before me, even those parts we hadn't experienced yet, like children. I prayed that we would still get the chance to live out those parts together. Because I was positive of one thing, if my angel was taken away from me, my life would cease to have meaning. I don't remember the drive to the hospital, but knew I was breaking every speed limit on the way there. I rushed into the trauma center to be told I'd have to take a seat in the waiting room. Half of the ER staff was working to save my love. The nurse promised to have an attending come talk to me when they got a chance. I couldn't help but let my mind wander to how it all began while I waited to find out if my other half was going to live or die.
Chapter 1- Another one bites the Dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
~Another One Bites the Dust By Queen
BPOV
February 2005
It was my junior year of college. I was at the University of Washington studying to be a nurse. I walked up the small flight of stairs that led to our small on-campus apartment. I wasn't surprised to walk through the door and see my roommate and best friend, Alice Cullen, sitting in the middle of our living room floor surround by fabric and homemade patterns. Alice was a fashion design and fashion merchandising major. We had met the previous year at our off-campus job. We became fast friends and when we learned we both went to U-Dub, we immediately made arrangements to live together. We complemented each other perfectly; her energetic pixie-like personality and features and my down-to-earth shy nature with boringly plain features.
"So, how'd it go? Sorry I wasn't here when he came to pick you up, umm, Jasper kinda distracted me." Distraction was code for 'we were humping like rabbits'. Jasper Hale was Alice's boyfriend, and my brother Emmett's roommate and co-worker.
I met Jasper last year when Jasper and Emmett started working together. Shortly thereafter, Jasper introduced his sister, Rosalie, to Emmett. Then I introduced Jasper to Alice. Now Rosalie and Em were getting married next year, and Alice and Jasper had been dating blissfully for the past year. In our tiny group, I was the odd woman out. For that reason they were all determined to find me a man.
Tonight, Alice was interrogating me about my most recent set-up date with the friend of a friend.
"This was the cute blond with piercing gray eyes right?" Alice asked. The guy didn't go to U-Dub, but was friends with one of our neighbors. Tyler had IM'd me a picture of him from the previous summer and I had found him very good looking. I flopped on the couch and pulled my legs up to my chest to avoid getting anything on Alice's fabric.
"It was absolutely horrible. I mean, he took me to this amazing three star restaurant; the food was great . We kept up polite conversation throughout dinner, but it just doesn't seem like we have much in common. Oh and he showed up in his Marine dress uniform to take me out."
"Wait, the white pants, dark blue jacket, red belt Marine uniform?"
"That'd be the one."
"Bella, who cares if you two have nothing in common, he's a MARINE! Isn't this the third military man that you've dated and found something wrong with? The navy officer was 'too tall', the Army guy was 'too muscular', and now this guy has 'nothing in common with me'. What is your deal?"
What was my deal? I'd been asked that question by friends of mine since I was a senior in High School and the star quarterback that had graduated the year before me and gone into the army asked me out, and I turned him down. That's right. The guy that every single girl had drooled over the previous 4 years asked plain little me out, and I turned him down. It wasn't that I didn't like him, or didn't find him attractive, because I did on both counts. It was another reason all together. Alice poked me in the foot, demanding I answer her question. I just shrugged my shoulders at her. I knew why I was turning military men down, but I didn't really want to let Alice in on it.
"Bells, I know for a fact that you liked this boy. You never seemed to have a problem talking the past two months online. It seemed like you had a lot in common then. What changed? You've been gushing over this date for a week. I find it so hard to believe that your feelings changed so quickly."
"I don't know. I guess we just used up all of our common items already. It seemed like we had nothing to talk about at dinner. Sitting there was cruel and unusual punishment. Sitting through a dinner like that would make any suspect confess."
"Bullshit, Bella. I can tell when you're lying. You're horrible at it. You did something to ruin this date, my question is why?" I debated for another few seconds while Ali glared at me.
"Ok, fine. I've found something wrong with, or 'sabotaged' every date with a military man. Although, to be fair, I would have done the same thing if the guys were cops or firefighters." She looked at me a bit incredulously.
I sighed before continuing, "Ok, so if you notice what I just said, every single one of the professions I just listed risk their lives in one way or another." Ali nodded her head. "I have a phobia when it comes to dating those in public service; those men that risk their lives on a daily basis to keep us safe. I know it's because of watching what my mom went through when that deputy showed up at our door and told her Dad had been shot and killed at the bank. He had stopped in to cash his paycheck on his way home after his shift. Unfortunately he walked in during an armed robbery. The robber saw Dad walk in and wasted no time before shooting him in the chest, he died in transit to the hospital." When I looked up at Alice she had silent tears running down her face. Even though we had been friends for almost a year and a half, and she knew that my father was dead, I had never told her how he died.
"Alice, I'm too afraid to fall in love with someone that could be taken away from me even if they don't want to be. I still hate that Emmett became a firefighter, it scares me so much that I've asked him not to tell me his schedule ever." Even though it had been 6 years, I cried every time I thought about Charlie.
"Bella. I know that having something like that happen to you would make you scared to risk it. But what happens if one of these guys you've turned away is who you're meant to be with? Are you saying you'd rather be alone than be with the love of your life because his job forces him to risk his life?" I knew she was right, but it didn't change anything. "Just make a promise to me Bells." I nodded. "If you ever just feel connected to someone, like they could be the one, you won't just run away if he is a public servant." She held out her pinky for me. I grasped her pinky finger with my own.
"I promise."
"Good. Now let me get this stuff put away and we'll run and get some ice cream, pop in Dirty Dancing, and dream about our own Johnny coming to save us from the dreaded corner." I giggled and went into my room to change while Alice cleaned up.
After Alice and I watched Dirty Dancing, we decided to also watch Pretty Woman. I went to sleep to dreams of my own Johnny Castle and Edward Lewis coming to save me, and loving me always.
My promise to Alice kept playing in my head for the next few weeks. I was out on a Friday night about 3 weeks later with some of the other girls in the Nursing program. We had just had a huge mid-term and our clinicals knowledge assessment so we were out to celebrate surviving. While I was standing at the bar chatting with Angela Weber, the only other person in our class interested in Emergency Medicine, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and looked into a pair of gorgeous ice blue eyes.
"Hi. I was wondering if you would like to dance," said Ice Blue Eyes. I noticed he also had long blond hair pulled back in to a low ponytail, and was dressed like the quintessential bad boy; low slung jeans, a black t shirt, and a pair of black Doc Martins.
"Um, I'm not really a great dancer." I heard Ang whisper at me to go for it, so I quickly added, "But I'd love to." I left my drink with Ang and he grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. He pulled me close so we could dance to the hip hop that the DJ had pumping out of the speakers.
"Don't worry, I won't let you fall," he whispered into my ear. I felt shivers run down my spine. "What's your name beautiful?"
"Bella. Bella Swan."
"Fitting name. I'm James, James Haley."
"Nice to meet you," I said. He was nothing like the kind of guy I usually dated, but there was one question I had to ask him. "You aren't a soldier or a cop are you?" He chuckled at my question.
"You really are different Bella. But no, I'm not. I just graduated last year from U-Dub with a degree in Digital Media and Art. Currently I'm trying to find a job in my field, but until I can I'm working for my step-father at his Monument Company."
"Ok, good." We danced and talked most of the rest of the night. We exchanged phone numbers before I left with the girls to head back to our apartments. I got a text from James about 10 minutes after I left the club, telling me to have a good night. He called the next night and we set up a date for the following Friday. After that night I didn't worry about my promise to Alice anymore. I had found the man that I was going to marry.
A/N so, what do we think so far...