A Chance to Escape
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Disclaimer: No, I don't own Harry Potter, a woman by the name of JK Rowling does. You may have heard of her before...
A/N: ANGST ANGST ANGST! It's Draco thinking about his 'so-called' exsistance, as I put it. I wrote it because, it's something that affects me. Anyway, if you can't stand stuff like self harm and all that, then I suggest you don't read!
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Bloodshed, toture and my own tears, that's what my life has been, that's if I can even call it a life, I'd much rather call it a mere exsistance, which, I feel doesn't belong. Nothing more and nothing less. Sure, I may have grown up in a rich family, got everything I ever wanted and I might've been sent to one of the best schools in the world, but something was nagging at me. Something that I could no longer ignore. The pain. The pain that peirced through my heart every morning and evening. The sort of pain that nothing can cure...Except for love. Love was something my family didn't often talk about or express, a sad but true fact. Father never showed it, and he drove me to exsisting as a life-less shell. Mother was quite different, she was the one that truely loved me. I don't care that I'm almost a man, it doesn't stop me from loving her in return. If father ever found out, he would kill her, and flay me until I was an inch from death. Yes, I know, my father is more than a sadist and a murderer. Right in with Voldemort, forcing me to join the Death Eater's circle, it's too late to save his soul.
I'm sick and tired of being pushed around as though I'm some sort of...ill-treated animal. Coming to when father called my name, being whipped and totured every day I was at home...Father didn't care, he gained nothing but pleasure and power over me from it. There had been numerous times where I had almost killed myself on purpose, and as usual, Father didn't care. Mother, however, stayed by me. When I was stuck in my room, just alive, she still sat by me whenever she could. Father only keeps Mother alive for...pleasure. That's all he ever thinks of, wealth, power, glory and himself. Never Mother or I, we mean nothing to him, we're only there for the sake of it. Father uses me as well, not just Mother, but I was sworn to never tell anyone. If I did, Father swore he would kill me, and was he serious.
I seem to live nothing but a life full of hurt, pain and sorrow. What I wouldn't give just to be happy, just for one little day. I despise myself, my life, my Father and everyone around me. They seem to lead such perfect lives, but they are always complaining about little things. Many people would like to be me, but they don't know what goes on in my private life, if only they knew. They wouldn't be so envious of me then, I don't deserve to be envied. I used to be happy, until I turned ten. Ten was the age when a Malfoy had to start acting older than his age, more darker and sinful. That rule is wrong, so wrong. When I was ten, I wanted nothing more than to play with the other children, but Father stopped me. Mother once caught me crying, and tried to protest against Father, but all he did was hit her and told her to shut up.
If I had the chance to die, I would, which tonight, Father and Mother are going out, leaving me behind because I requested so. I don't want to die, I want a better life, which is something I'll never get, so jumping of the highest roof in the manor sounds like an option. Either that, or torturing myself with a blunt knife. I could also hang myself, Father has an old hanger out the back. I don't know, I'm not scared, I'm just not sure how to do it. I'll take the stabbing myself with the blunt knife. I just hope after I die, Father will finally come to his senses and see what mistakes he has made. And if he ever finds this, I just want him to know that I truely hated him for what he did, and I still do. Well...I guess I better leave something...
Dear Mother and Father,
I hope you're happy Father, after all you've put me through, you've just driven me to insanity and hatred of myself. You're a worthless bastard, and I know that Mother only puts up with you because she can't escape, it was the same with me. I hope you burn in Hell, along with the rest of us Malfoys, Father. One day I hope you'll eventually come to your senses and try to correct yourself, but I'm guessing it's too late fore that now. Mother, I'm sorry. I really am, please forgive me. I'm sorry for the pain I'm putting you through, not Father. I hope one day you'll find another husband, one that will treat you better than what Father has, I know you don't really love him. I love you Mother, I wanted you to know that, I'll always make sure I keep watch over you, making sure that Father doesn't mistreat you, like he did me.
Love,
Draco
'What have I done?'Lucius dropped the book with a nasty thud as it fell right next to Draco's motionless and cold body. Draco's eyes were glazed, a look of fear and hatred across his frozen face. "No..." Falling his knees, Lucius hung his head, his long, silver/blonde hair falling over his shoulders, forming golden curtains. Dropping his staff, he rested his face in his hands, a surge of guilt and pain hitting him so strong, that he just wanted to vanish, never to return. He hadn't meant to treat Draco that bad, it just...Happened, without any meaning. "I'm sorry for everything, Draco. You're right, I deserve to burn in Hell." Rising to his feet unsteadily, Lucius made his way outside, to where the old hanger stood. The noose swaying slightly in the night wind. Stepping up onto the platform, he placed the noose around his neck. "I hope this makes you happy, Draco." Pulling in the lever, the floor beneath him gave way.
Beneath the black sky,
There was nothing,
Nothing but emptiness,
Loneliness,
Fear
Hatred and
Guilt
Two lives lost,
One innocent
The other was sinful,
One guilty
The other in pain
But both needed,
A chance to escape
************************************************************************************
Whoa...That's proably one of my best angst fics yet, and yes, some of it does...Apply to me, that's why I wrote it so...Dramatic, I guess. It's a personal fic, so please don't flame about it!
*****************************************
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Harry Potter, a woman by the name of JK Rowling does. You may have heard of her before...
A/N: ANGST ANGST ANGST! It's Draco thinking about his 'so-called' exsistance, as I put it. I wrote it because, it's something that affects me. Anyway, if you can't stand stuff like self harm and all that, then I suggest you don't read!
*****************************************
Bloodshed, toture and my own tears, that's what my life has been, that's if I can even call it a life, I'd much rather call it a mere exsistance, which, I feel doesn't belong. Nothing more and nothing less. Sure, I may have grown up in a rich family, got everything I ever wanted and I might've been sent to one of the best schools in the world, but something was nagging at me. Something that I could no longer ignore. The pain. The pain that peirced through my heart every morning and evening. The sort of pain that nothing can cure...Except for love. Love was something my family didn't often talk about or express, a sad but true fact. Father never showed it, and he drove me to exsisting as a life-less shell. Mother was quite different, she was the one that truely loved me. I don't care that I'm almost a man, it doesn't stop me from loving her in return. If father ever found out, he would kill her, and flay me until I was an inch from death. Yes, I know, my father is more than a sadist and a murderer. Right in with Voldemort, forcing me to join the Death Eater's circle, it's too late to save his soul.
I'm sick and tired of being pushed around as though I'm some sort of...ill-treated animal. Coming to when father called my name, being whipped and totured every day I was at home...Father didn't care, he gained nothing but pleasure and power over me from it. There had been numerous times where I had almost killed myself on purpose, and as usual, Father didn't care. Mother, however, stayed by me. When I was stuck in my room, just alive, she still sat by me whenever she could. Father only keeps Mother alive for...pleasure. That's all he ever thinks of, wealth, power, glory and himself. Never Mother or I, we mean nothing to him, we're only there for the sake of it. Father uses me as well, not just Mother, but I was sworn to never tell anyone. If I did, Father swore he would kill me, and was he serious.
I seem to live nothing but a life full of hurt, pain and sorrow. What I wouldn't give just to be happy, just for one little day. I despise myself, my life, my Father and everyone around me. They seem to lead such perfect lives, but they are always complaining about little things. Many people would like to be me, but they don't know what goes on in my private life, if only they knew. They wouldn't be so envious of me then, I don't deserve to be envied. I used to be happy, until I turned ten. Ten was the age when a Malfoy had to start acting older than his age, more darker and sinful. That rule is wrong, so wrong. When I was ten, I wanted nothing more than to play with the other children, but Father stopped me. Mother once caught me crying, and tried to protest against Father, but all he did was hit her and told her to shut up.
If I had the chance to die, I would, which tonight, Father and Mother are going out, leaving me behind because I requested so. I don't want to die, I want a better life, which is something I'll never get, so jumping of the highest roof in the manor sounds like an option. Either that, or torturing myself with a blunt knife. I could also hang myself, Father has an old hanger out the back. I don't know, I'm not scared, I'm just not sure how to do it. I'll take the stabbing myself with the blunt knife. I just hope after I die, Father will finally come to his senses and see what mistakes he has made. And if he ever finds this, I just want him to know that I truely hated him for what he did, and I still do. Well...I guess I better leave something...
Dear Mother and Father,
I hope you're happy Father, after all you've put me through, you've just driven me to insanity and hatred of myself. You're a worthless bastard, and I know that Mother only puts up with you because she can't escape, it was the same with me. I hope you burn in Hell, along with the rest of us Malfoys, Father. One day I hope you'll eventually come to your senses and try to correct yourself, but I'm guessing it's too late fore that now. Mother, I'm sorry. I really am, please forgive me. I'm sorry for the pain I'm putting you through, not Father. I hope one day you'll find another husband, one that will treat you better than what Father has, I know you don't really love him. I love you Mother, I wanted you to know that, I'll always make sure I keep watch over you, making sure that Father doesn't mistreat you, like he did me.
Love,
Draco
'What have I done?'Lucius dropped the book with a nasty thud as it fell right next to Draco's motionless and cold body. Draco's eyes were glazed, a look of fear and hatred across his frozen face. "No..." Falling his knees, Lucius hung his head, his long, silver/blonde hair falling over his shoulders, forming golden curtains. Dropping his staff, he rested his face in his hands, a surge of guilt and pain hitting him so strong, that he just wanted to vanish, never to return. He hadn't meant to treat Draco that bad, it just...Happened, without any meaning. "I'm sorry for everything, Draco. You're right, I deserve to burn in Hell." Rising to his feet unsteadily, Lucius made his way outside, to where the old hanger stood. The noose swaying slightly in the night wind. Stepping up onto the platform, he placed the noose around his neck. "I hope this makes you happy, Draco." Pulling in the lever, the floor beneath him gave way.
Beneath the black sky,
There was nothing,
Nothing but emptiness,
Loneliness,
Fear
Hatred and
Guilt
Two lives lost,
One innocent
The other was sinful,
One guilty
The other in pain
But both needed,
A chance to escape
************************************************************************************
Whoa...That's proably one of my best angst fics yet, and yes, some of it does...Apply to me, that's why I wrote it so...Dramatic, I guess. It's a personal fic, so please don't flame about it!