Author's Note: I should warn you up front that this is only about five centimeters away from being a total crackfic XD I don't remember the exact inspiration for this, but the vague idea came to mind while watching one episode or another that featured Tobey controlling his robots with a remote (like that narrows it down), and I decided I had to write it. I realize that there is a short episode by this title already, but as the episode has absolutely nothing to do with the "Not Tobey" part, I reserve the right to appropriate it for my own uses :P I apologize in advance for any OOC-ness of the characters; you can blame it on this being a crackfic or this being the only WordGirl fic I've ever written...or both! I also apologize for the cop-out ending; I ran out of ideas T_T Crackfic! Yes, yes, blame the crackfic.
For my dear friend Night N. Gail,
without whom I would certainly not be writing this.
Look for the words disconcerting and inadvertent.
It's a normal, quiet day in our fair city...or is it?
...Wait, it is? Usually, now would be the time for one of our villains to start causing mayhem. Hmm, let's see... Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy is busy playing video games. Dr. Two-Brains is actually eating his cheese for once instead of stealing it. The Butcher is...giving out free samples of salami at the grocery store? Okay. Even Tobey is sitting in class, quietly taking notes as Miss Davis enthusiastically tells the story of Antony and Cleopatra. No, wait...he's doodling pictures of robots. But at least he's doing it quietly, right?
Well...I hesitate to say this, but it looks like we might actually have a relaxing afternoon for once. Can't remember the last time that happened.
...
...
...Hmm...you know, it's actually kind of...boring. Makes me almost wish that someone would say—
"HEEEEEELP!" yells a man with a ponytail and a green sweatshirt. "A robot's attacking City Haaaaaall!" He blinks and looks around at the children sitting at their desks, staring at the man who just stuck his head in their window.
"Um...is this the police station?" he asks, suddenly unsure.
Miss Davis sighs, disappointed that she got interrupted right at the best part of the story. "Still the elementary school."
"Oh. Okay. HEEEEEELP!" The man runs off, flailing his arms, in the exact opposite direction from the police station.
Becky Botsford—aka WordGirl—frowns in confusion as Miss Davis returns to her story. "This is strange," she mutters to herself, staring at the boy sitting next to her. "Tobey hasn't moved from that spot all afternoon, and I haven't noticed him using any remotes. How could his robot be destroying the city?"
"Maybe because it isn't my robot?" Tobey suggests innocently, completing his doodle with a smiling robotic sun.
Becky scowls. "I wasn't talking to you."
"Then you shouldn't have spoken so loud. We are in the middle of class, after all."
"Loudly," Becky corrects him automatically. "And how could it not be your robot? Who else has giant robots that terrorize the city?"
"Becky?" Miss Davis says sternly. "Is there something you'd like to share with the class?"
Becky, feeling the voice of justice calling her to pick up the mantle of WordGirl, says, "Um...just that I have to, uh...use the bathroom?"
Once she makes her escape to the hallway, Becky swiftly transforms into the magnificent figure of WordGirl. Wasting no more time, she whizzes through the air, heading straight for the middle of the city. Her super hearing picks up the screams of citizens fleeing for their lives from the rampaging robot. But how can Tobey be controlling it while sitting calmly in class? It's quite disconcerting.
"Disconcerting?" WordGirl perks up for a moment, distracted from her thoughts. "You mean, confusing in a startling or surprising way? Nice one!"
Thanks! Anyway, as I was saying, the townspeople are running around City Hall and screaming as they try to avoid falling debris and stomping robot feet. Thankfully, there's only one robot, but it's big enough that it's succeeding in ripping the roof off the Taco Shack across the street from City Hall. Hmm, maybe it's hungry?
"Well, at least there's only one," says WordGirl, who hasn't been listening to the narrator. In her defense, she does have a city to save, and that takes a lot of brainpower.
Now, WordGirl has fought a lot of robots in her time. Normally, she has to deal with a whole army attacking her at once, not a single robot rampaging around town. But fighting this single robot is proving difficult, because it seems to keep changing its mind about what it's attacking. One minute it's uprooting trees in Central Park, then it gives up before WordGirl can get there and starts breaking windows in a nearby apartment building.
"This is disconcerting!" WordGirl groans, wiping sweat from her brow as she pauses in her pursuit of the robot. "This isn't like Tobey at all! He always has some kind of plan of attack! But this robot can't seem to make up its mind! It's almost like...oh, I don't know. Like no one's controlling it at all!"
This is the part where a lightbulb appears over your head with a dinging sound.
"Maybe it's malfunctioning!" WordGirl cries, snapping her fingers. "That would explain it! All I have to do is destroy it, and our problem is solved!"
Except that then Tobey will get mad at you for breaking one of his creations. And when Tobey is angry...
WordGirl smacks a hand to her forehead. "He makes more robots and throws a temper tantrum. I guess we can forget Plan A..."
But what's that? WordGirl seems to be listening to someone that only she can hear with her super-hearing! Is it another defenseless citizen screaming in terror, pleading for their lives at the mercy of another giant robot?
"It's someone complaining about a remote!" WordGirl cries, listening carefully.
Tobey?
"No, it sounds like a woman," WordGirl says, frowning in frustration. "This robot is making too much noise! I can't hear!"
So, in the hopes that this woman is having troubles with a robot remote that will conveniently solve all our problems, WordGirl flies off to see what she can do.
After one or two wrong turns, WordGirl finally approaches the origin of the voice that is still complaining about the remote. Um...I know you said Tobey was sitting quietly in class and couldn't possibly be controlling the robot, but...well, this is his house, isn't it?
Gasp! Maybe he's figured out how to clone himself, and the Tobey sitting in class is just a decoy!
"It's a woman's voice, remember?" WordGirl interjects, now looking thoughtful. "And there's only one woman I know of who lives in this house..."
Sure enough, when WordGirl bursts through the front door, she discovers Mrs. McCallister attempting to enjoy some TV. She has her feet up on a footrest and a nice cool glass of iced tea next to her, but she can't get the TV to turn on.
"WordGirl!" Mrs. McCallister cries, too frustrated to realize WordGirl came in without knocking. "You're just the person I need! I can't get this thing to work! I bet that son of mine tampered with it again. All I ask for on my day off is just to watch some TV in peace and quiet without worrying that Tobey is terrorizing the town again..."
As she talks, she jabs random buttons on the remote in her hand, pointing it at the blank TV. Funny, this remote looks an awful lot like...
"Look!" WordGirl points at the coffee table, where another remote sits innocently. It looks just like the remote in Mrs. McCallister's hand, except that it doesn't have the large red button in the middle. WordGirl picks it up and presses a button. The TV turns on, right in the middle of a news broadcast about the robot stampeding down Main Street.
"Tobey!" Mrs. McCallister wails, dropping the other remote. "Not again!"
WordGirl glances between the TV and the remote, stunned. "You mean...this whole time...the attack was...inadvertent?"
"Tobey's attacking a fur tent now?" Mrs. McCallister leaps to her feet, infuriated. "Why, I'll ground that boy for a month when I get my hands on—"
"What? No!" WordGirl quickly explains. "'Inadvertent' means 'unintentional' or 'accidental.' You thought this was the remote for the TV, so you inadvertently sent Tobey's robot charging around downtown."
"Oh." Mrs. McCallister says, looking embarrassed. "I guess I should pay more attention to whose remote is whose."
"You won't get mad at Tobey, will you?" WordGirl asks anxiously. "I'm sure he just left this lying around inadvertently..."
"No, you're right," Mrs. McCallister agrees wearily. "I'll need to have a talk with him about putting his things away, but this time it wasn't his fault..."
Um...shouldn't someone be trying to stop the robot? It's still trashing the city streets...
"Oh no!" WordGirl gasps, flying back outside to try to stop it.
"Where's the off switch?" Mrs. McCallister yells, punching more buttons on the remote and making the robot dance the chicken dance. Hmm, wonder why Tobey made a button for that...
But that's all the time we have for today! Don't inadvertently change the channel, but tune in for the next exciting installment of WordGirl!