Hurt bubbled up in Kaidan's stomach as he stood in London watching Shepard talk things over with Anderson. He observed her carefully, trying to memorize everything about her, as if he hadn't already. He watched as she shifted from foot to foot, slowly and twirl her hair. She'd never admit it, but she was nervous. He could read her like a book after everything they'd been through together, and that's when the hurt returned tenfold.

Aurora had chosen to take Garrus and Javik to escort her to the beam, while he was heading biotics division. Why? Why wasn't he going with her? His eyebrows furrowed together as he tried to push past all of the feelings that were welling up inside him. Rejection, sadness, and hurt were the most prevalent. He was happy he was able to help. He was happy he'd prepared his students for this, but all he really wanted to do was protect her. He wanted to keep her safe. How could he do that if he wasn't with her? He sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair.

"Don't take it personally, Alenko. She's only trying to do what you want to do for her," Garrus spoke from behind him. Kaidan turned and looked the man who'd become like a brother to him. Even after his abandoning them on Horizon, Garrus was still there for him. Garrus never held it against him.

"I know..." was all he managed to let fall past his lips.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to her, I promise," Garrus said and as the men locked eyes Kaidan knew of promises unspoken. Garrus, much like Kaidan, would do anything to keep Rorie safe, even if it meant sacrificing his own life. Kaidan appreciated that more than Garrus would ever know, but it did little to ease his nerves.

"I want both of you to make it out of there alive. I want all of us to," Kaidan replied. God how he wished he was going with them.

"We will," Garrus said, flashing him a grin. Kaidan felt his own lips lift before shaking his head.

"Thank you, Garrus. Now don't you have something you should be calibrating?" Kaidan said with a smirk. Garrus merely let out a small laugh before walking into the building they were standing next to. It felt good to joke around for a few seconds, even if there was no true, hearty laughter involved.

"Hey Kaidan," Aurora's voice sounded behind him and he felt his breath catch in his chest. Sadness, happiness, fear, and nervousness all ran through him at once. He stood silent for a moment. Be strong, Alenko.

"Hey, there you are," he turned and flashed a smile. She was beautiful as ever.

"You ready?"

"Absolutely. For anything. Bring it on," Kaidan lied through his teeth. How could he ever be ready to leave her?

"And biotics division? Your students?" Aurora questioned.

Kaidan let out a small, honest laugh. His students were… very excited.

"More than ready. Eager. That's youth for you," he paused. "Guess we're old soldiers, eh Shepard?"

"Yeah, I guess we are," she replied. With all the battle they'd seen together, she certainly felt old. Eager wasn't a word she'd ever use to describe her feelings about what was about to happen.

"Comrades-in-arms," he said, trying to put his best smile on, but he knew what was coming and that fact alone had his voice quivering. "We know this score… We know this is goodbye." His voice shook as he tried to push away the overwhelming sadness and tears that were threatening to burst through.

"When this is over, I'm going to be waiting for you. You'd better show up," Aurora replied, sadness stinging every part of her. She'd tried her best to sound intimidating, but she'd never really been good at that to begin with.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna fight like hell for the chance to hold you again," he said staring her in the eyes. He had so much to thank her for. "Listen, there's things I want to say… Looking back, I have a few regrets, but not many. That's pretty damn amazing, right? Messed up kid that I was. I never would've dreamed of the life I had. And I owe a lot of that to you, you know?"

"It's been quite a ride," Aurora said with a small smile. They'd been through so many incredible things together, and she wouldn't have wanted to go through them with anyone else.

"It sure has. But how are you doing, scared?" Kaidan asked.

"Damn straight I'm scared, but that fear is gonna be keep me alive long enough to strike these bastards right through the heart," Aurora replied.

You don't have to put on your brave face for me, Rorie… he thought to himself, but he'd never allow himself to say it. He knew she didn't want to feel vulnerable right now, he knew if did then neither of them would ever leave that very spot.

"Yeah exactly," was the response he chose.

"So… take care Major," she inhaled sharply before finally bringing herself to be able to walk away from him.

She went to move, but got barely three steps before she felt his strong arms wrap around her and pull her close. Their lips clashed together in a moment of passion that neither of them ever wanted to end. He held her close for a moment, allowing two heavy breaths to leave him as he fought off the urge to cry.

"I can't lose you again…"

The word hung silently in the air for a few seconds before he knew they needed to keep moving.

"Well, I should find the rest of my squad," he said trying to give her the easiest out possible.

"Yeah…" she said breathlessly as she too fought off the endless stream of tears she knew was coming.

She walked into the building where Garrus had just entered a few minutes earlier, and as soon as she rounded the corner she collapsed against the wall and let the tears fall freely and silently.

Kaidan stood silently for a moment before walking over to where he knew his students were waiting. He watched them from afar for a moment. Laughter and jokes were abundant, and so were smiles. Kaidan couldn't bring himself to do any of those things, so he stood in silence as his heart shattered.

The woman he loved most in the world was probably about to die, and there was nothing he could do about it. He was left with nothing but his memories and their parting words. There was so much more he wanted to say, but he couldn't find the words. No words could do the love he had for her justice. It was endless. He would define it as selfless, but his actions on Horizon were the most selfish thing he'd ever done.

He heaved a heavy sigh as his shoulders lifted and dipped with a few quiet sobs. He would still protect her in every way he could.

"Ready Alenko?" someone shouted from where his students were sitting. He felt their eyes piercing him and wiped his face. He emerged from the protection of the shadow he'd been hiding in and put a stoic, brave expression on before making his way to them. This felt like the beginning of the end. He could only hope that it wouldn't be.

"Let's go," he said before the students stood up and cheered. They all lined up and got ready to move forward.

"We're going to have to split up in order to protect the rest of them the best we can. Always watch your own back and watch out for those around you," a blonde woman spoke up with a grin.

"And where exactly do you think biotics division is going without me?" a voice spoke from behind them. Kaidan's jaw hung open only slightly. He'd recognize her voice anywhere…