Dry My Tears

Chapter 1: Beginning and End, Itachi's POV

The darkness fell. It was time.

I could feel it deep inside me, how the feelings I suppressed lived their own life. The pain and anger, guilt and grief.

It was time to do it.

I rose from the floor in my room where I had been sitting the last hours. I began to put on my Anbu uniform. I tried not think about what I really was about to do. I tried to pretend that it was just a ordinary assassination mission, nothing reamarkable. Just some other thing my father had forced me to go through.

I forced all my feelings away, like I always do, and then headed away to complete my mission. I allowed no emotions to reach me, no thoughts. I would complete this, no matter what it took. For the sake of the village.

For Sasuke's sake.

I was hoping somewhere deep inside me that my actions would disappear with time, while I knew they would always remain. For every life that I would take now, the scar would be deeper in me, in Sasuke, in all others.

But it was not only about that. This mission was not just about the Uchiha clan's planned coup d'état, but also about the Sharingan. It was Danzou's egoistical desires and my clan's foolish obsession for power that would end so many lives tonight.

Egotistical.

I was moving from house to house. Jumping on the roofs, taking me into every home and slaughtering them all mercilessly. Screams ended quickly, blood was splattering on the walls. I forced away all feelings and gave an equally cold facial expression that I use to as I let my katana slice through neck after neck, at a furious pace, sending out killing kunais and shurikens in all directions.

This was my last mission for Konoha, for Danzou. For every single body that fell to my feet, another small part of me was deleted. I was at the same time killing every shred of emotion that threatened to come out.

Mission. It's all about the mission. A ninja must have a heart that won't allow him to cry.
My friends, relatives, elders, parents ... men, women and children. It made no difference. No matter how hard it was.

It was so incredibly egotistical, and also terribly tragic.

There was only one person that I couldn't kill under any circumstances, that I wouldn't kill but to commit suicide afterwards. Someone who was more precious to me than anyone, anything.

My little brother, Sasuke.

But to spare him would still leave a lot of pain for him. My numb facade was close to falter just when I thought about it. So much pain...

But I couldn't think of that now. There was no turning back. Somewhere around here was Madara, watched and helped me kill them all. He claimed that he wanted revenge on the Uchiha clan, and that was a big reason why I did this. But I had demanded to handle my family by myself.

At the top on a telephone pile under the big moon, at the highest point in the entire district, I crouched and watched the empty streets. The empty streets filled with corpses, corpses from the blood-stained clan. I was waiting.

Waiting for the last one of clan, the only survivor that I would allow. Sasuke.

He didn't know what was coming, and I wished that I could have prepared him somehow. But was it even possible to prepare for something so horrible like this?

Soon I discovered his chakra signature in the darkness of the arriving night, my little brother was heading this way. My blood red eyes followed from afar the small child, which in happy ignorance rushed to our home. He would soon realize ... I jumped down, went to our house. It was time to deal with my parents. But it went rather quickly and I dried my tears and prepared for Sasuke's arrival to our home.

The next fifteen minutes was unbearable, but I managed to do what I had planned despite everything.
Sasuke's facial expressions was the worst thing. At first he was terrified when he saw that someone had killed his parents, then disbelieving, hurt and horrified when he realized that the murderer was his own big brother...

I'm so sorry Sasuke. I don't want to involve you, but I want to you to see what I'm seeing right now. Just my beloved brother standing in front of me.

You're begging in vain.

I could never kill you. Never ever.

And I had to hurt him, though every bit of his pain is mine. To throw a shuriken at him - the distance was carefully measured out so that he would take the least possible harm - was almost too much. But I had to show him that I was serious. That my lies, my act, was reality.

Then Tsukyomi, and I suffered with him. I heard his terrified screams and I wished I was deaf. I heard myself tell him all those lies.

Lies.

Had I ever lied so much before, in all my life?
It was heartbreaking. In exchange for Sasuke's survival, we would both suffer a lot.

Finally, he sat in front of me on the street. He was in despair, exhausted, hurt and scared. He was so misguided!

As if I could ever cause the unfortunate little child some considerable damage! As if I would ever kill him! How could he be thinking that? Hadn't I promsed him that I always would be there for him, protect him no matter what?

That was where my facade broke.

Seven years together, was it everything we would have? A broken, crushed existence far away from everyone else.

With tears dripping down my face, flowing from my red eyes, I saw my beloved little brother lose consciousness and fall to the ground beside the corpses. There were no words that could describe my pain right then.

I wanted to pick him up, hug him and tell him that I loved him so infinitely, that he meant more to me than anyone else in this world. I wanted to tell him that this was to protect him and the village. Because I didn't want him to experience a war, to be a sacrifice like I was.

So many unspoken words that would die on my lips tonight. That would die with me.

It felt as if the world scoffed at me. The moon in the sky became a scornful face, Madara's hidden presence was disturbing. But I had completed it.

I set off to the Hokage's building. I wanted to ignore the tears that was running down my face, but for the sake of it I quickly wiped them off. I would beg to The Third that he protected Sasuke, and I would also threat Danzo - if he laid a single finger on my brother I would not only spread Konoha's information to every nation in the world, but I would also return and kill him and the other elders personally. That I could assure.

When I finally left Konoha in the cover of night, I knew that a whole new life would begin. This was the end, this was the beginning. My love was inside of me still, only as a fading memory. I could never get Sasuke's love back, I could never show him again that he meant something for me. I wasn't allowed more than that in this world.

Forgive me, Sasuke.

Forgive me.

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