POV: Anakin Skywalker

Ahsoka. She had been all I could think about for the entirety of the past week. My heart broke a little every single day and now that she's back. I'm so glad that she's back. Force, I don't know what I would've done if she had been executed. I already had a strike team on standby to break her out. I wish I had killed Barriss when I had the chance. She deserved to die. Imprisonment isn't enough.

I've been dodging Padme calls all morning. I couldn't bear to talk to her now. Not after I realize that I no longer have feelings towards her anymore… not like I used to. Surely it's forbidden to love even think about loving your apprentice. Force this is so wrong… but it doesn't feel wrong.

It hurts that I know I will inevitably cause Padme so much pain… I never wanted to lose her, especially like this. She deserves better, but alas I cannot pretend o love her when I do not. That is simply not fair. I have to go and see her.

*beep beep!* my commlink demanded my attention, of all times, tears threatening to emerge from my eyes. It was Ahsoka.

"hey snips, how are you feeling?" I answered trying not to sound hurt

"Master, c-can I talk to you?" her voice sounded was pained and the way she choked was laced with the hurt of her betrayal.

"Yes of course Ahsoka, I'm in our quarters," I replied.

I clicked my comm off and waited. She had been called to the healing ward by Luminara. I suspected it had something to do with Barriss. Walking into the bathroom and washing my face in the sink I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in a long while. Red inflamed veins pulsed in my eyes, sleep had alluded me the whole time.

"Master?" I heard her small voice call.

"In here," I called back drying my face.

I heard her footsteps draw closer as I hung the towel back up.

I looked in her direction, she was clutching her arms, her eyes red and her usual cheery self-was no longer there. The fearless padawan had grown up.

It saddened me to see her in such a way, her shoulders slumped and she refused t make eye contact, her gaze remaining to the floor. Without thinking I wrapped her in my arms, holding her close.

"I'm so, so, sorry, Ahsoka… I've failed you as a Master…I should've protected you better…I-"

I could've said those three little words right then and there. Her small shoulders shuddered as she let out a cry. I tightened my arms around her as she cried into my shoulder.

I could still sense her vulnerability, fragile. I knew her pain more than she'd know. Tears fell freely down her cheeks as she kept talking, how terrifying it was, constantly evading the law, how betrayed and knowing who to trust, where to go, what to do and how unfair it was for a mere eighteen years old to be accused of such felinely! I pulled back and wiped a single tear from her cheek away with my thumb and stood up taking her hands in mine. I smiled at her and she smiled back.

"I promise to be a better, Master from now on," I said hoping to see her smile.

She cracked a smile, "I love you, Anakin"

Her words hit me like I'd been shot with a blaster, surely she didn't mean it but I could've said it back.

"Anakin, come in," Obi wan's voice came from my commlink.

I answered it looking into her eyes searching for any truth behind her words, "Yes, Obi wan?"

"Master Yoda wishes to see you and Ahsoka in the council chambers, immediately".

"We'll be there…"

We walked out the door and into the turbo lift to the high tower. Obi wan, Ki Adi, Mace, and Yoda were there.

"It seems that you are truly mean to be a Jedi Knight, Ki Adi" Ki Adi said

"It appears to us that the Force has made this your great trial," Mace confirmed

"Allowed back into the order, you may be Padawan Tano" Yoda stated

The room had a strange aura and the emotions were running off like thick waves of goo, Ki-Adi and Mace. They were letting her back in… I wanted to shout and accuse them of being fools, but I restrained myself, reaching for her silka braid I had kept in my belt pouch the entire time.

"They're asking you back Ahsoka" I spoke "I'm, asking you back", I said, holding my hand out with her braid in it.

Ahsoka was hesitant to take back her rightful roll as she looked at me with sadness, before letting her deep, baby blue eyes well up; using her hands to curl my hand up into a fist. She was about to let out a scream and run but it never came. We all just stood there in silence, my mouth ever so slightly agape.

An ice cold feeling filled my blood as I so desperately wanted to confess to her but my twenty-four year old brain refused to let me anything, retreating like a teenager behind the cloak of Obi wan.

"I'm not coming back…" she whispered out huskily looking so deeply into my breaking heart, her deepest thoughts and sympathy washing into me like the fog on Jabiim.

Ahsoka turned and quickly left out the door. It took me a moment to realize what had just happened before I picked myself up again just as Yoda was about to stop me. I rushed to the door running down hall after hall. Obi wan sent me a wave of reassure-meant as my boots skidded round one last corner leading to the gate way of never coming back.

"Ahsoka!" I breathed out, "Ahsoka wait!" She kept walking on a clear path to the top of the stairs "Ahsoka, stop, Please!"

She reframed from going any further but did not turn around until I forced her to face me with my hand on her shoulder. A single tear slid down her face, catching the sunlight, dripping from her chin and onto her boot.

"Why?!" I gasped

"The council didn't trust me, my best friend betrayed me and now they just want me back cause they lost one from their own actions?! They would've sensed if I were lying!" She shouted turning around "I can't trust anyone, I have to figure this out on my own."

She was about to take a step before I stopped her as I began to talk, "I trust you Ahsoka. I've been with you every step of the way. I need you by my side Snips. WHO'S going to be there by my side on the front lines? WHO is going to be there when I'm pinned down and I have no hope of survival without YOU? WHO is going to be there when I don't have SOMEONE to joke around with…" I trailed off

"You don't understand Master, I have to find the truth about this, the council betrayed me, the whole ORDER betrayed me?! Don't you see? It has to be this way!" Ahsoka screamed at me letting tears fall freely down her face.

"No Ahsoka! The Jedi is your life and I'm not just going to let you throw it away like this! You don't have to go through this alone. I understand wanting to leave the temple. I understand what you're going through. I understand."

"Master I know you do but no one else does, I have to go" she strained the last word having tears still falling down her face.

It was now or never, she took a step and it just came out, "I love you, Ahsoka…"

She stopped, and turned to look over her shoulder, "You can't…no…Anakin, I-"

I quickly embraced her in a hug as I felt my heart ripping out of my chest. I held her there as she gripped my tunic in her hands, burying her face into my shoulder, waves of emotion emptying themselves into the Force. Years of pent-up emotion washing into me as I hugged her with the sun setting behind us.

"I love you too, Anakin…"