This story is dedicated to my cousin Beth. She's had a lot of bad dates, so this goes out to her. I love you, Beth.

I am so MAD right now. I can feel the steam coming from my ears. If anger could be measured by temperature, I'd be at 500 degrees. If you are wondering why I am so mad, I'll tell you: I went on a date with Waluigi. Now, before you think,

"It's your fault," let me set the record straight: the only reason I did was because he got on his knees and BEGGED me to do it. A grown man, begging a grown woman, IN PUBLIC. I like to think of myself as a kind person. So I said yes, ONLY to keep him from embarrassing himself any further. He tells me to pick him at seven. It's usually the man who picks up the woman, not the other way around. So I show a little late; 7:01, he throws a huge fit,

"Daisy, I SAID 7:00!" My only rebuttal was,

"Excuse me for hitting traffic," so we are on our way to the mall. I catch him staring at my chest five times before we are even halfway there. We get there (Mind it was during the morning) and Waluigi starts whining about being thirsty. We stop at a drinking fountain, but he rushes to the food court and orders a large drink; he doesn't have any money, ergo I have to pay for it. $7.00 wasted on a drink he doesn't even finish. He just takes a couple of sips and throws it away. I stop by the bookstore to look at some Manga (I love it, though I'm not buying any; since I'm on a date with Waluigi, it'll get ruined before the date is over.).

He picks one up and cracks it open,

"You read this garbage? What is this language?" he says OUT LOUD so EVERYONE can hear him,

"English," Luigi (my roommate) and I feared this would happen. I told Luigi how he got me to go out on a date, so he knew I wasn't cheating on him. We decided to make a fake emergency so if it got bad beyond belief, I could call and get outta there without Waluigi complaining about me abandoning him. I call him, no answer. I get hungry so we head back to the food court. I have thirteen dollars left.

I get a Mcdouble, some fries and a Sprite. Waluigi orders a large coke and large fries (no burger or anything). As we're eating, Waluigi says,

"That looks good," he picks up my burger and takes a bite.

"You can have it," I say. I call Luigi again, and this he answers,

"What's up, Daisy?" at this point in time I am desperate to get outta there,

"What's that? hang on, I'll be right there," I hang up and start running back to my car. Waluigi starts chasing me,

"Baby, wait up," cries Waluigi. That tears it,

"Don't you ever call me 'baby' again. I had the worst time imaginable, while you were pleasuring yourself in wasting my money and staring at my chest; that's right, I saw you!" I was shouting at this point. While Waluigi ponders how I caught him in the act, I make it back to my car and back to my apartment.

…

I get back with no money; Waluigi wasted it all. I am so mad that I start crying. Luigi comes in,

"What's wrong?" he asks. I tell him of the horrible date, and how Waluigi stared at my chest seven times. He gives me a backrub and a neck rub. It is his way of showing sympathy. We file a restraining order against him; I haven't seen him ever since.