Chapter One:
The Lost One
As I awoke from a deep sleep I can hear both James and lily making a ruckus of the house, I looked up at my off-white ceiling and began thinking about today and how it would turn out. With a groan I sluggishly sat up out of bed, when I had my feet placed on the umber-colored floor I looked down and heavily sighed. Today was the last day before I start my 5th year of school at Hogwarts, today had to be the day I tell my father the truth, which I have been putting off for way too long. With that thought in mind, I sighed, even more, I just didn't know how I was going to say it nor what my father will say or do. That's what scared me the most about coming out to my father is the fact I don't know how he will take it. I was already a Slytherin, even though my father has told me many times he accepts me no matter what because I am his son and he loves me deeply. The thought that he could not accept me and not love me anymore made my stomach turn into knots making me want to throw up.
As my mother walks pass my door yelling at James and Lilly to finish packing their bags for school, she looks in to see me making a pained face. My mother walks over the doorway and knocks on the door.
"Knock Knock, is everything okay Albus dear?" My mother said
As I looked up to see my mother standing by my door I could see in her face that she was concerned.
"I took a deep sigh before answering her, No not really mother" As I said this I looked back downed and sighed even more
"You look very upset dear, what on your mind?" My mother said as she walked forward into my room and sat down next to me on my bed, without looking up I answered her in a strained voice.
"Mother I was just….thinking about….. How I was going to tell father" I said
"Your father loves you very much and you are not worried about if he will love you after you tell him, nor do you need to worry about what he will think of you," my mother said as she gently took my hand into hers and lifted my head up with the other.
I could see in her eyes a loving mother trying to comfort her son but she had hit the right spot as always, tears started to form and as one tear fell down my mother wiped it away and took me into her arms holding me tight.
"Everything will be okay dear, I love you and your father loves you. He would never tell you otherwise no matter what" my mother said holding me a bit tighter.
Hugging my mother back and wiping tears that fell onto my face I knew my mother was right no matter how terrified I was, my father would love me. My mother kept hugging me which felt like forever until she felt me calm down and then released me, she then stood up and kissed me on my forehead and that made me smile and feeling reassured that everything was going to turn out okay. As she walked away from me she then stood by my doorway and turned around to look at me.
"I love you, Albus Potter," my mother said
"I love you too mother," I said after clearing my throat and looking up at her with the best smile I could put on.
When my mother left I was still on my bed wiping my face dry from the tears I had cried just a few minutes ago. Without any other hesitation about getting up, I stand up and stretched my sleepiness away and began to get dressed and ready for today. Opening up my closet door I saw myself in the mirror and saw my slightly red and swollen face without thinking too much about it I began to look through my clothes and picked out some worn-out blue jeans and red n black plaid long sleeves shirt and I started to get dressed, as I was beginning to put on my socks and shoes I could hear my mother call out to everyone for breakfast and James and Lilly ran out of their rooms and down the old wooden stairs before I could get done tying my shoes. After I was done getting ready I then walked down the stairs and could see everyone around the table eating breakfast, as I laid eyes on my father reading the daily prophet I paused on the last stair and everything I was thinking earlier came rushing back making me feel even more hesitate and nervous than before but before I could shake this uneasiness off my father called out to me.
"Albus what are you standing there for? Hurry up and come in before your breakfast gets cold" My father said as he looked up from reading the daily prophet and setting his coffee back down.
"Okay sorry father I'm coming in," I said
When the words left my mouth I began to walk into the dining room I could see the faded yellow paint that covered the walls and sat down in a chair that was next to James and father at the table. In front of me was a plate filled with eggs, bacon and toast, of course my mother's cooking is the best although I felt too nauseous and her cooking couldn't make my stomach feel any better but not to attract anyone's attention to myself I began to force myself to eat which didn't help me feel any better. I tried not to look at my father and just kept looking down at my plate hoping to finish soon and my father not notice how nervous I was nor saw my eyes swollen from crying, as I reached over to get the butter to put on my toast I could hear James and Lily making a ruckus at the table and out of the corner of my eyes I could see father looking up from the paper looking at James and Lily.
"James Lily would you please settle down and eat your breakfast please," Father said
"Aww, okay father," They both said the same time and went back to eating.
Trying not to make eye contact and hoping he wouldn't look my way and continue reading his paper I could feel my father's gaze on me and I knew he was going to say something to me.
"Albus, are you okay? You don't look too good and you're shoveling food into your face like you've been starved" my father said looking a bit concerned about me.
"I'm an alright father I'm just hungry that's all," I said trying to shake off my uneasiness and not looking up to see my father's face.
"Mhm alright then," My father said as his look of cornered started to disappear off his face.
When I saw my father looking back at the daily prophet in my head I sighed a big sigh of relief and started to finish my breakfast, I looked up to see my mother sitting down and starting to eat who looked up a smiled at me I of course half smiled back the best I could with food in my mouth. James and Lilly both got up at the same time and were starting to race up to their rooms before father called them out.
"As you all know today is the last day before you go back to school, all of you need to finish packing and then cleaning your rooms and clothes that may need to be washed before you pack them. After you're done with that you then need to help your mother with any chores she gives you, alright?" My father said.
"Aww, really the father? Why do we always have to clean before school?" James complaining back at the father with a displeased look on his face.
"James Sirius Potter," My father said with a stern voice while raising one eyebrow up looking at my older brother.
"Alright fiiinnee," James said in an annoyed tone of voice and sluggishly walking up the stairs.
"Okay father," Lily said quickly and then headed up the stairs be hide James, I could hear the both of them quarreling because James wouldn't move any faster up the stairs.
"Okay," I said and went back to finishing my plate.
Once father was done talking he went back to reading his paper and drinking his coffee, I finished my plate and went to do the dishes; all my laundry was done and I was done packing for Hogwarts, there weren't many chores to do around the house since mother uses magic but because father grew up in the muggle world and wasn't able to have magic help him with his chores he thinks it's a good idea to have all three kids do some chores without magic the day before school, I don't see why James always gets so upset about it because we don't do that many chores because mother usually has magic do most of it before we wake up. I was on my last dish when I started to think when I should come out to my father, thinking of a plan on how I should deliver the news to him I didn't realize I stop cleaning the dish I was holding until my mother was near me.
"Albus dear are you okay?" My mother said as she put her plate underneath my hand, surprising me I ended up dropping the glass I was holding.
"Ah oh, sorry mother I didn't mean to break a glass," I said looking down at the broken glass.
"It's okay Albus a little magic can fix it," my mother said as she was talking she grabbed her wand out from her back pocket and gave a flick of her wand.
"Reparo," My mother said.
The glass began to shimmer in the sunlight while it had slowly repaired itself piece by piece until it was back to being a glass, after letting out a slight whoa out from underneath my breath being taken aback by magic I then remembered my mother had said something to me before I had dropped the glass.
"What is it that you said to me before I dropped the glass mother?" I said while looking up at her.
"I had asked if you were okay dear you seemed to have spaced out there for a moment," My mother said as she was putting her wand back into her pocket.
"Ahh, I was just thinking about this year at school and how excited I am to be going back," I said and went back to continuing to finish the dishes.
"Okay dear, just make sure not to break anything else while spacing out," My mother said and went into the other room.
The kitchen suddenly went quiet and I felt this awkward tension between my father and me, I wanted to get done faster with the last dish I had and hurry out of there but in the back of my mind I was thinking this would be a good chance to tell father right before he had to go to work that way he wouldn't be able to say anything to me until he got home and I had time to prepare myself for the worst. Slowly rubbing the glass with the bubbly sponge I began to ponder how I would tell him, how I would start? "Hey, dad I'm gay" that wouldn't work at the least that would just be too sudden. I would have to come up with something to get his attention even though I really don't what him to look at me, I would die under the pressure, but this is something I need to get done and over with. Rinsing the glass off with water and drying it off, I put the glass away in one of the cabinets and I began to walk over to my father. My father was still reading the paper and didn't even realize I was still in the kitchen, I went ahead and sat across from him at the table.
"Father I have something I need to tell you," I said trying to not let my voice crack.
"In a minute Albus, I am trying to finish up this column," My father said without looking up from his paper.
I then began to feel like the minute would never be over and I was beginning to become even more nervous than what I was, I silently sat there waiting for my father to finish reading I was just wishing he would hurry so I could get this done with. I looked down at my hands and they were a sweaty mess I wiped them off on my jeans and began to calm myself down, everything will be alright and once I'm done this weight on my chest will be lifted I kept reminding myself until I heard my father speak.
"All right Albus does, what is it that you would like to tell me?" My father said as he began to fold up the paper and take a sip of his coffee.
"I" I began to say but then my mother comes in the room abruptly with my father's briefcase and his coat.
"Dear it already passes the time you should have left, you will be late for work if you continue to sit there," My mother said as she motioned my father to get up.
"Ah thank you dear time just got away from me," My father said as my mother was helping him put on his coat.
My father took his briefcase from my mother and kissed her on the cheek and saying his goodbyes for the day, he had already left the kitchen and then he stopped and turned around to face me.
"Albus, what is it that you wanted to tell me?" My father said standing by the front door.
"I was just going to say that you'd be late for work but mother beat me to it," I said as I stood up from the table awkwardly.
"Oh okay then, have a good day son," My father said and he then left the house.
After he left I just stood there for a couple of minutes from the shock I just felt, I thought my heart was going to jump out of my throat from my mother abruptly interrupted us but also I had the chance and I didn't take it and I choked, I was so infuriated with myself. I jogged up the tattered dark mahogany wood staircase and went into my room and closed the door behind me, I hurled myself onto the bed and covered my eyes with both my hands and mourned. My mind was going around in circles I was disappointed in myself that I choked and made something up to tell him, I won't get another chance today nor tomorrow; revealing my eyes I set my hands beside me and looked up at my off-white ceiling trying to come up with answer on when I would be able to tell my father. Maybe never? But that didn't sit well with me to the point it was too unbearable to even think about, I knew that father wouldn't be coming home until very late tonight and I also knew that tomorrow with seeing all us kids off I might not get that chance to even talk to him alone. Without coming up with a solution to my problems I rolled over to my side and saw my desk that my school bag was sitting on with my suitcase sitting on the floor by my desk, I already had everything packed and I knew I wasn't missing anything but I got up and went over to my suitcase and slung it on my bed and opened it up and went through it double checking that I had everything even though I had already done beforehand when packing yesterday but because I wanted to be alone for a couple more minutes I began unpacking.
The day had come and I was standing by my family as we were all saying our goodbyes and talking to Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione, Rose, of course, was standing hand in hand with my best friend Scorpius Malfoy the thought of them dating was sickening so I decided to focus on the conversation my father was having with Uncle Ron.
"Ah harry how your job at the Ministry of Magic these days? I know Hermione is having certain issues and all with her job there," said Uncle Ron as he was standing with his beer belly out and hands in his front pockets.
"It's been going fairly going well so far but I better not jinxed myself the next thing I know it will start getting very busy." Said my father while he was scratching his head with one hand and had his other in his pocket.
I stopped listen to the boring chat because it was nothing but my father and uncle catching up on the daily lives, I had stood there for no more than a minute and it was already time to go when the train blew its last warning horn.
"All right everyone says your last goodbyes it's time for you to all go off now," said my father and I saw Scorpius and Rose headed on to the train together.
James and lily had already fled the scene and ran onto the train and I stood there looking at it wondering if I could spare some more time to talk to my father.
"Albus what are you doing boy? It's time to go" said my father as he patted my back softly.
"Father there is something I need to tell you before I go," I said while trying to brush off my nervous.
"Well you better say it quickly now, what is it son?" said my father and he placed his hands on his hips.
"I'm gay," I said immediately while looking down on the floor so I couldn't see my father's reaction.