Death in Love
By
Scoutfan22
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Disclaimer: I don't own sailor moon, I just own Dino.
Summary: Death (Hotaru) becomes infatuated with a young man and something happens she didn't expect…
Rating: T
Author's notes: Had this story in my head; had to get it out. Inspired by the Sandman Comics; alternate u. I get these names from "Fables and Reflections", and I just threw Thessaly in because she's fascinating to me. And I'm also looking for someone to illustrate this, particularly one scene…
Olethros - Destruction
Potmos – Destiny
Oneiros – Dream
Epithumia – Desire
Aponoia - Despair
Mania - Delirium
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I am Death. I move silently among the mortals of this world, quietly taking their souls and leading them to heaven or hell.
There aren't many that can see me, but the few who do describe me as a ghostly figure with pale skin, violet eyes and black hair. They always leave out my wings. Gray, thin, basically just membranes stretched out over delicate bones that sprout from my spine. They also forget they I like to wear a leather trench coat over a black satin evening shirt with black pants that have chains on them. The punks and Goths don't give me enough credit.
My role is hard; I'll grant you that. There are times that I don't want to do it, especially if they're children, or if they're young men or women who have such bright futures but made just one mistake. I also hate taking the suicides to limbo. I like to take the old ones to their reward though. They often greet me at the door, ready to go, although some are loathe leaving the other behind if they have a loved one.
Taking souls to hell though is another matter entirely. I believe that's the easiest part of my role. I just take them there, ignore their pleas for mercy and let my sister take over from there.
Do I have feelings, you say? My sisters say I'm the moodiest of the bunch, but I don't know. I personally think Oneiros, my twin, is the moodiest. I usually don't care what they say, but well…
I'm not particularly happy at the moment as we all sit here in Setsuna's manor, the rest of them holding conversations while I sit and watch them. Oneiros sits beside me, his shaggy dark head leaning on his hand as he stares into space. We're all waiting for our mother to appear: Serenity, goddess of Heaven.
Perhaps I better describe all of us to you so you can understand what's going on.
The first group of us are called The Immortals. The oldest is Setsuna, goddess of Hell. She's the quietest one, but considering she lords over hell, she's actually pretty sweet. Then there's Michiru and Haruka. Haruka in reality is my sister-in-law, but that's a little complicated. They're the goddesses of the Sea and the Sky. Next are the twins Makoto and Usagi. Usagi is the goddess of the Moon, while Makoto is the goddess of Nature. Then I suppose there's Usagi's lover Mamoru, god of the Earth. Those two are inseparable. Then there's Rei, Ami, and Minako. Rei is the goddess of Fire, Ami of Water and Minako of Love.
Then there's Potmos, Oneiros and I. Finally there are our younger siblings, Epithumia, Aponoia and Mania. We, along with Potmos, are known as the Endless. The three youngest don't usually associate themselves with us, and neither does Potmos.
The funny thing is, Mother didn't name me. She just called me Death. One time I asked her why, and all she said was this: "Your name won't be given by me, but by a mortal." My brother and my sisters call me sister. Mortals have given me many names, but I'm not very fond of "la mort" or "el muerto" or "the Grim Reaper," so I'm not sure what Mother meant by what she said…
Speaking of Mother, she suddenly appears at the head of the table. We all stand up, and she smiles, her silver hair shimmering. "Hello children." We may be thousands of years of years old, but mother will never stop calling us children.
Setsuna motions to one of her servants and I recognize him as an old man I led to hell not just a month ago. He was a murderer. Setsuna has a habit of employing those who have truly repented in tasks of servitude. He nods and turns to the door. The meal is brought out and we begin to eat.
When we are finished, Mother asks us about our day. While all of my sisters and their loves reply happily, One and I look at each other and roll our eyes.
"Oneiros, what about you?"
One gets quiet. I know that look. Something happened. "I had to save someone from their dreams today. A little girl was having dreams about how her father had been hurting her…"
When Oneiros saves someone from their dreams he replaces the dreams or nightmares with a blissful sleep that saves them from going insane. The bad thing is that One takes the dream into his mind and dreams them himself. It can be hard.
I lean over and take his hand, squeezing it. He's the only one who can handle the dead-coolness of my skin besides Mother. The others always flinch. He looks back at me and gives me a quick but rare smile.
"And you, darling?"
Suddenly all eyes are on me. I never have anything interesting to say anyway, so I never do. "Fine" I say as I take a sip of my wine.
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Later that night I'm sitting on a fire escape in Tokyo, watching the lights. I've always loved this city; even when it was just a small village of huts. Back then more of them had the god-sight, so they saw me more often. By the way, I forgot to mention that the dead souls can see me when I come, and the only ones who have seen me and survived are those who've had near-death experiences. Those who have the god-sight can see all of us, but they're so rare now that we don't believe they exist anymore.
Ah, there she is. I sigh as I watch her walk, head hung low and shoulders dropped. I hear her thoughts as well. She tells herself that she only has to wait a little longer, and then it'll all be over. Just a little longer…
A few moments later she's in her apartment. I alight onto the balcony and watch as she goes to the stereo and turns it on. The keening sounds of Amy Lee's haunting voice fill the apartment as she finishes the note, then picks up the gun. I hold my breath as she walks over to the window and practically stares me in the face even though she can't see me. She closes her eyes and breathes in slowly, then when she lets it out—
Suddenly the door bursts open and a young man flies into the room, but it's too late. Blood spatters onto the glass as he screams her name. "NARU!"
I breathe out as her soul joins me on the balcony and watches for a moment. He's cradling her body now as his white shirt becomes blood-soaked. "I'm sorry." She murmurs softly, touching the glass. "I'm so sorry, but I couldn't take it anymore." She turns to me, her eyes full of tears. "Am I going to hell?"
I smile sympathetically, "That's not for me to decide. You're going to limbo, where you'll be judged. Come now, we must hurry." I hold out my hand, and she takes it. Suddenly we hear a gasp. I turn and realize that he can see us, I mean actually see us. I flap my wings and we both lift up. For some reason, his eyes never leave mine. It's sort of frightening, the way he's looking at me. As we leave the mortal plane of existence the city disappears, but I can still see his eyes practically boring into mine…
I return to my home and throw myself onto my bed. Why can't I get them out of my head? His eyes seemed so old, yet so innocent. It was obvious he had the god-sight. Blast, all I can think of is his eyes! What color were they…?
Those thoughts run through my head as I prepare to sleep. Just as I lie on my bed and reach up to turn out my light, I suddenly remember. They were midnight-blue…
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What am I doing at a funeral?
I keep asking myself that question abut three days later when I'm sitting on a grave stone at one of the western-style graveyards in Tokyo, watching the service for the girl. I watch as the Christian priest says the last words and the mourners begin to leave as they shovel the dirt over the grave—
I nearly fall off from my precarious perch and crash onto the ground. It's him! And he's looking right at me!
We stare at each other for the longest time, and I finally get a good look at him. He's tall, with reddish-black hair and olive-toned skin and those bewitching eyes again. He has his hands shoved into his pockets, and there's a dyed black goatee and mustache on his face. He's not bad looking for a mortal man. In fact he's—dare I say it—handsome…
"Where is she?"
I shake myself out of my trance. "What?" He's talking to me?
"Naru. Where is she? Heaven or hell?" He is talking to me!
"What…? You can… can see me? You can hear me?"
"You didn't answer my question." He walks up to me and stands not two feet from me. He carries himself as if he has a great weight on his shoulders. He should too, considering he held his dead girlfriend in his arms naught three days ago.
"I honestly don't know."
"Well you're Death aren't you? Don't you know everything concerning that?"
I start. How did he…?
"None of the other Endless has wings like that. Believe me, I know, considering I majored in mythology."
He's smart too. "I don't know where she went. I left her to be judged by—"
"Anubis and Pan. Yes, I know that, but do you know where they sent her after that?" I don't like the tone of his voice. "You don't control that?"
I shake my head.
We fall into silence, and I can see he's in pain, though he tries to hide it… like me…
After what seems like forever he turns away and sighs. "Is today my time to die?"
"What?"
"Is it? Cause there's nothing left for me now except my work. Without her, the world sucks." He sits down on the grass and sighs. He puts his head in his hands and murmurs quietly, "I'm ready."
Suddenly I'm angry. I lash out at him. "Don't say that! It's not your time to die! She'd want you to keep living! Damn, you mortals are so negative!"
He looks surprised. I gasp inwardly. Oh, me and my big mouth! Maybe I should apologize—
He's laughing! Oh gods, he's laughing! At me! He thinks I'm… funny! I'm not even the joker of the family, and he thinks I'm funny. He's a strange mortal, that's for sure.
When he stops laughing he stands up and looks at me. In an instant he's three inches from me and is practically staring me in the face. Those eyes seem to examining me, every last inch of my being. It almost feels like he's looking into my soul (even though I'm sure I don't have one). I gulp as I think that I could very easily stare into his eyes for all eternity…
He straightens up and turns, starting to walk away. I suddenly find my voice, and it's a different voice from my usual stoic and emotionless tone: "Wait!"
He turns, and I compose myself. In my normal voice I ask him, "What's your name?"
He stands there for moment, then smiles (and it's a beautiful smile too). "It's Dino."
I watch as he leaves. "Dino…" I say quietly, letting the name roll off my tongue. Dino… I like it.
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That evening at dinner I pick at my food. For the first time in a long time I'm not hungry. All I can think of is him—Dino, I correct myself. Something about him… I don't know… entrances me somehow. It's got to be the eyes. And maybe that smile of his…
"Death? Death? Death, are you in there?"
I start, "Huh?"
Everyone and I mean everyone is staring at me. I look down and realize I've cut through my plate down the cherry-wood table, and Setsuna looks ready to kill me.
"Death, dear, are you all right?" Mother asks, her eyes searching me worriedly. Oneiros looks at me, his pitch back eyes (if you've seen The Sandman comics you know what I mean) seeming to examine my conscience.
"I, uh… I'm fine." I get up and excuse myself from the table and make a hasty retreat from the room.
A few minute later I'm standing in front of my gallery, holding a glass heart in my hand. "Epithumia, I stand in my gallery and hold your sigil. Sister will you speak with me?"
"Well, well, it's been a long time, hasn't it, sister Death? And what can I do for you?" Epithumia' masculine and feminine face winks to life in the mirror.
My mouth goes dry. If I tell her, she might… Epithumia thinks it's fun to mess with people's head, to make them desire things to the point of insanity. Believe me; I've had to take a few people who killed themselves because they couldn't take it anymore. Not only that, she's messed with Oneiros one too many times. Well, I guess there's only one way to find out…
"I… I wanted to ask you… how do I… um…"
"My dear sister, look at our brother Oneiros. He's fallen in love several times. I expect it would be normal for you to fall in love too." Epithumia smiled, "though a few times it was partly my fault."
It's the gleam in her/his eyes that frightens me. "It's not that. I mean, usually if someone falls in love with me its one-sided thing. This is the first time I'm the one with the one-sided thing."
"Aha, dear sister, I can't do anything for you. This is entirely out of my realm." She/he starts to disappear and I panic. "Wait!"
"Yes?" Those tawny eyes watch me as Epithumia appears again.
I gulp. "Do you know how I can become mortal?"
"Don't you usually?"
"Not just for one day… for a while."
"That's simple. Just take off your ankh."
"But who will take over my duties?"
"I'm sure our eldest sister Setsuna wouldn't mind for little while. She would probably have Hecate do it though."
For the longest time my sister/brother and I stare at each other. I'm nervous. What if it's all just a trick?
"All right Epithumia. Thank you for your help."
"Anytime my dear sister. Anytime…"
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So that's how I got here, a month later (after settling my deal with Setsuna and Hecate), in a human bar, waiting for him to appear like some sick puppy.
"Hello there Death."
I turn and am surprised to see one of Oneiros' old girlfriends, Thessaly, standing there. I'm surprised she remembers me. Last I heard she was in Chicago… "Hello Thessaly. I thought you were in Chicago?"
Those brown eyes behind those huge glasses twinkle. "Internship program."
"Ah."
"How is… how is Oneiros?" she asks me as she sits at the stool beside me. "Fine." I reply. She smiles and orders a drink, then sips at it rather calmly. "What are you doing here?" she finally queries.
"I… I'm waiting for someone. A man." I say.
"Indeed. So am I."
"Hey Thessaly!"
I jump. It's him! And Thessaly is… hugging him? Oh no…
"Dino, I want you to meet a friend of mine. Her name is--"
"Firefly." It was a nickname that Orpheus, Oneiros' only son had given me when he was a child because I had often appeared in a flash of light, though that was a long time ago.
Thessaly looks at me strangely, but he smiles. "Hotaru means that in Japanese."
"Then call me that."
He cocks his head to the side. "Have we met before? Because something seems familiar about you…"
I find myself blushing as I shake my head. He turns to Thessaly and says, "Where's Touya? Don't tell me your date stood you up again?"
Thank heavens, they're not dating!
"Ah don't worry Thess. You'll find a guy someday."
A few moments later, Dino looks at me again, as Thessaly is off dancing with someone else. "Are you sure we've never met before?"
I nod, and he sighs. "You look just like her…" he mumbles.
"What?"
"Never mind." He looks over at the crowd of people, then back at me. "Do you wanna dance?"
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About three months later, Dino and I have officially become a couple after a month. I check in every now and then to make sure my job is being taken care of, and so far it is.
I couldn't have asked for a sweeter and more romantic man. He is so kind with me, and gentle.
There are times though, when we're together that he seems to feel like he's hiding something…
Tonight is one of those nights, as we sit on his couch in his apartment, just cuddling and staring into the fire.
Oh his kisses, I could drown in them or die (ha-ha) from them. His lips are so inviting and warm…
He pulls away from the kiss we're sharing and looks into the fire. "Hotaru, I have been entirely honest with you." Did I mention I love my new name?
"What is it?" I knew it, he still loves Naru, and he's going to break up with me…
"When you asked me if I had any family, I was lying. I had a sister, but she killed herself."
Huh? I sit up. "How long ago?"
"Three months tomorrow."
"Um, what was her name?"
"Naru."
Naru…
Wait… she was his sister?
"I also wanted to say that I… I…"
Oy, what bomb could he drop on me now? 'I'm really a girl' or 'I'm married' or—
"I'm in love with you."
'I'm actually gay'—huh?
He… he what?
He's… in love with me?
Oh gods…
"I just wanted to be honest with you, because I feel like I can tell you anything. And I know it sounds crazy but…" He turns to look at me, and his eyes shine with emotion. He takes my hands in his and rubs them with his thumbs. "…I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"
Oh, oh gods, this is all happening so quickly! I… I don't know what to say…
He's being so honest with me… and I've… I've been lying to him…
"Dino… I… I haven't been honest with you either, so before you go and ask me to marry you again, hear me out." Oh boy, here it goes. "We have met before. The first time was the night your sister killed herself, the second time at her funeral. I'm Death, Dino." He sits there, shocked as I continue. "I've already broken so many rules than I should have by being with you, and there could be even worse consequences if I marry you. I love you too; please don't hate me…"
Dino sits there for the longest time, I think digesting everything I've said. He finally looks at me and smiles slowly, then leans over and kisses me. When he breaks away he's grinning even wider. "I knew it." He murmured softly. "I knew I'd seen you before."
I realize I'm shaking as he cups my face in his hands. "You have to go back."
"Why?" I ask brokenly; the cracks in my voice evident. Damn it Epithumia, why didn't you tell me it would hurt so much?
"They need you to do your job," He kisses my forehead and murmurs against my skin, "I need you to do your task."
"Why?" I ask again, tears falling down my face. I bury my head in his shoulder and whimper as he pulls me closer, murmuring softly as he holds me…
(A/N: if anyone is interested in illustrating the previous scene please let me know in a review)
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Aponoia's hook is lodged deep within my heart a year later. I haven't seen him in so long, and it hurts me so much. I miss everything about him… his smile, his eyes, his voice, the way he would hold me, his gentle kisses full of love and passion—
I never gave myself to him. I never…
Truth be told, I wanted him to be my first. I wanted to be with him, to be beside him in the blessed and sacred darkness of the night, wrapped in his embrace. I wanted to be with him as his lover, his wife…
As I sit on the square in London by the cathedral of St. Paul, I watch as the pigeons gather and flock around me. I remember a time when I was happy, before Dino came into my life, and I gave my brother advice…
"I knew I'd find you here."
I look up and see Oneiros standing beside me, his face unreadable. "Hello brother." I say as he sits down beside me.
"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."
"What?"
"You once told me that was your favorite word, Death." He says softly.
"That was a long time ago, Oneiros. When I didn't know the pain and joy of being in love. I was naïve."
"What happened between the two of you?"
"He told me that I had to go back to my task, my responsibilities."
"Why didn't you just abandon your realm?"
"And put our mother through the same pain Olethros put her through?"
He gets quiet, and then places a hand on my shoulder. I turn and look at him. His black eyes flash a point of green light, and he says, "I know a way you can be with him."
I start. "You do?"
He smiles, "yes. You don't have to give up your realm, but you can just pass it on to someone else..."
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A young man sits at a bar. He holds his drink in his hand and swirls the last dregs of it in the bottom of his glass.
One year. Dino thinks. One year since she disappeared from my life…
He remembers that Thessaly had found him one morning passed out on her front doorstep, and had warned him not to drink anymore or she'd check him into a clinic. But he's needed the alcohol as an escape from the gaping hole in his heart.
Why did I tell her to go? What was I thinking? Ever since she left I've been a wreck! But she had to; she's one of the Endless! She couldn't very well just abandon her task!
He remembers that she had pleaded with him, had begged him to try and change his mind. She'd give up her duties, her family, just for him…
"Excuse me sir, but we're getting ready to close up."
"Huh? Oh ok."
As he walks out onto the lonely streets of Tokyo, a tear falls down his face. God, he misses her so much!
"I missed you too."
He stiffens. That can't be her… can it?
He turns around and gasps. There she is with a smirk on her face, her violet eyes laughing.
"Death?" he asks softly.
"The name is Hotaru, if you don't mind."
"How?" Dino queries disbelievingly.
"I gave my responsibilities to someone else, who became Death for me. I'm back, and in reference to your question, yes, I'll marry you."
He stands there for moment longer. She runs up to him and throws her arms around him. He pulls her to him and buries his face in her hair.
"I love you, I love you, I love you." He says over and over as she sobs happily into his shoulder.
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That night, Death, or should I say Hotaru, got the moment she craved when they made love.
She felt him moving within her, and gazed up into his eyes, relishing every touch, every drop of sweat, felt the first trembles of her body as pleasure began to claim her…
He cried out her name, echoing her own soundless cry as the both of them followed each other into ecstasy…
And somewhere in the realm of Dreams, the king of Dreams smiled…
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Yay! It's done! Damn formatting though, it got all wonky at the end… 7/2/2005 12:17 PM