DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. I would never have let Fred or Sirius die!
AN: This is a gift fic for the wonderful Other Me (The Lady Arturia). Happy birthday, Other Me! I hope you enjoy reading this!
Prompt: Write a Rily fic about unrequited love.
This was beta'd by the amazing 3cheersforidiots. Thank you, Sophie!
"Remus?" a voice calls. It sounds heavenly to hear his name on those lips.
"Over here," he says. He hears soft footsteps approach him. He turns around, brown eyes meeting emerald green.
Small strands of fiery red escape from the loose braid, dancing tantalizingly in the gentle breeze. He wants to reach out and curl those strands around his finger, to caress that ivory cheek. "Remus." The voice jolts him out of his reverie.
"Sorry. I was… thinking about things." Her gaze becomes clouded with concern.
"Am I giving you too much work? Do you need a break?" she asks, wringing her hands in worry.
"No, no. I'm fine. What did you want to talk about?" he says. He flops down onto the red sofa, and she sits down beside him. Her hand slips down from her lap and lays so painfully close. He wants to reach out and hold that hand in his own.
"James… asked me out again." There seems to be a certain breathlessness that tinges her voice, an excitement that makes him apprehensive. But James has asked her out millions of times before; what could be different this time?
"Do you want me to tell him to stop bothering you?" He hopes she'll say yes, that she'll rant on about James's immaturity.
"I said yes." He nearly falls back in shock; no, this can't be happening. No. An exuberant smile adorns her face.
"After all this time?" he breathes out dazedly. She nods, her eyes dreamy.
"I think… I think I… love him, Remus." His heart hammers against his chest, and he's telling himself, No, no, no, no. This is just a nightmare. Please, no!
James strides in, beaming. His ink black hair is tousled as usual, and his warm brown eyes are alight with bliss. He swoops down and kisses her cheek. Remus burns with envy and closes his eyes, willing himself not to let his emotions take over. But he still wishes that smile was meant for him.
No. I should be happy for them. But… He takes in a deep breath. And another one. The werewolf inside paces, snarling in fury. But he pushes it away, locking it in the cage of his heart.
"Did she tell you, Moony?" James says, bouncing on his feet. Remus manages a small smile and nods slightly.
"Moony! She finally said yes!" Sirius says, equally excited. He runs around, declaring the news to everyone in the Common Room.
"Finally got the girl, James?" Frank yells, grinning. Everyone knows about the countless times James has asked, and how every time she has refused. But now… now, everything has changed. She is with James, with his best friend. There is no more chance for Remus.
Remus watches them laugh together, his quill lying forgotten beside the parchment. Her laughs are like tinkling bells, enchanting. He watches as James leans forwards, cupping her cheek in his palm, and shares a lingering kiss with her.
Remus feels like his heart is being shot through with a flaming arrow. It shatters his heart into fragments, waits for it to piece back together, then breaks it again, more and more painful than the one before.
She wraps James in a tight embrace, kissing him once more before smiling. How he wishes it was him in her arms, him being loved. But it won't happen. Not now, not ever.
Remus waits outside the room with Sirius, pacing. The door opens to reveal a smiling nurse. "It's a boy." Remus and Sirius rush into the room, hurrying to the bed.
She beams up at him, her ruby hair resting in a disheveled tangle on the pillow. Her emerald green eyes pierce him, and then they turn back to gaze lovingly at the boy in her arms.
The little boy blinks with his tiny eyes sleepily, revealing a striking emerald green. His head is covered in a very small fuzz of jet black. A mix of James and her.
It's over now. It was over a long time ago. There is no room for Remus, no chance. "What's his name?" he asks. James grins.
"Harry. Would have been better if it was James Jr., but she…" He trails off when she glares at him, rolling her eyes wearily. Sirius lets out a barking laugh and takes Harry from her, drinking in every detail.
Remus holds his hands out for Harry, and Sirius reluctantly hands him over. He holds his breath when Harry takes Remus's pinky in his tiny hand, gazing up at him with those eyes.
She watches his every movement carefully, eyes following his hand as he gently caresses the baby boy. "He's beautiful," Remus says, his brown eyes never leaving Harry. She smiles.
"Will you be godfather, Padfoot?" James asks. Sirius's grey eyes widen.
"Really?" Sirius steps forward at James's nod. Remus's heart sinks slightly. Couldn't he at least have Harry? He has lost her; he can't lose Harry too. She beckons for him to lean down.
"You know, you were my choice for godfather," she whispers. Her words bring a smile to his lips. "You're the honorary godfather."
Yes. He can have Harry.
He wails when he finds out. Finds out that his only love and his best friend are gone. Dead.
He sneaks in a few nights after. He finds James, his beloved friend, lying lifeless on the floor, his wand still gripped tightly in his hand. Remus falls down, sobbing.
He climbs up the creaking stairs, dreading what will come next. He opens the door and gasps. She lies in front of the cradle, her emerald green eyes vacant, devoid of the fiery liveliness that once filled them. Her red hair is spread out underneath her. Remus howls, collapsing.
He takes her in his arms, bending down to caress her face. His tears drip down onto her. After a moment of hesitation, he places a soft kiss on her cold cheek. He stands up, letting her drop to the ground gently and walks to the doorway.
Remus turns around one last time. "Did you ever know I loved you, Lily?" He waits as if he's going to get an answer. "I couldn't save you, but I'll save Harry. I promise." With that, he turns and leaves, the shadows welcoming him into their refuge.
AN: Please review!