Title: Promises in Gray
Fandom: Delirium
Word Count: 793
Summary: You could be hundreds of miles away, but where ever you are, I hope you're looking at the sunrise, because that's your hope and that's my promise to you.
It's hard to see anything inside the trailer during these early hours. The sky outside is a dark purple when just minutes ago it was sapphire blue. I've spent so much time here, so many days that I can navigate my way to anything in here with both eyes closed. I stand in the center of the trailer, amidst countless piles of books; old poetry and classic literatures from centuries ago. I can make out the outlines of sparse furniture and smell the lingering scent of candles lit only hours before. In the darkness I see the details of the kitchen area, book cases, chairs and the bed.
I find it on top of a stack of books. A stack of peach stationary with white detailing, lying upon books written by Sylvia Plath and Ernest Hemingway. I run m hand over the calligraphy emblazoned on the spines of each book before turning around and exiting the trailer, trying like hell not to let to let my eyes linger.
Outside the trailer I step into the crisp morning air that carries away that last traces of sleep. In the distance I hear the chatter and noise from all the other Invalids close by in the clearing. I take steps in the opposite direction. I pass by trailers, lawn chairs, card tables, sleeping bags and kerosene lamps.
Every step I take I distance myself from the camp.
Every step I take I pull myself away from the rebels.
Ever step I take I push away the rest of the world. Everyone and everything. Except for him, that is.
Alex.
Thinking his name brings back a thousand and one memories and emotions. I shut them out too. Now is not the time for longing and desperation. Now's the time for reassurance; to write the words I may never get to say.
I find my destination: a small clearing in the woods, the tall sturdy trees bare and forest floor covered in dying orange and beige leaves. In the middle of it is a group of tree stumps, each one standing no taller than my knee.
I take a seat on the one in the center, sitting Indian style.
Silence. Nature. A pen. A page. At the top I write #5
Alex,
We don't know where you are or when exactly we're coming to get you. But we do know you're still alive. That we know for a fact. Like you said, there are many of us out there, in different places, doing different things. I wonder how bad it is for you.
Are you locked deep inside the crypts or are you strapped down to a metal table in the lab getting your procedure? Are you being tortured by Regulators or treated for that gunshot wound?
You idiot.
You liar.
You shouldn't have played hero. We could've both made it. Over the fence and into the Wilds. To safety. To certainty. But you had to go and save me.
I'm not ungrateful. I'm not angry (anymore). I am in your debt and I'm going to repay you.
We're coming for you, and soon, I swear it. We have a plan, we have the soldiers. Now all we have to do is wait.
I know that your heart is still beating and that you're still strong and that you're fighting with us and against them.
I know I shouldn't be writing this down, but this may be the only chance I get to say these words.
This battle-I'm a part of, and I may not come back. I should be scared right now, having nightmares or panic attacks-I'm going to war. WAR- but I'm not.
I'm relaxed. Happy. Alive. Because at the end of this, even if this country is broken into pieces, I know you'll be okay, in one solid piece.
Don't know where you are, of if you even still have faith in me or the rest of us anymore, but I hope you're looking at the sunrise right now, because that's your hope and that's my promise to you.
It's gray, and you know what that means.
From Lena and signed with Love. (The deadliest of all deadly things.)
On my way back to camp I take my time, kicking the leaves and enjoying the view. I don't know how many sunrises I have left, but I'm going to enjoy each one.
Back in the trailer I fold the note two, three, four times and tuck it between our favorite books: Pride and Prejudice and A Midsummers Night Dream. Still crouched down I look at the sky through the opening in the roof, and think to you a hundred miles away:
Keep waiting Alex, and I promise you, something good will happen.
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This book is SO AMAZING! Waiting months for it's release (well, months when I wrote it) was so NOT an option! And so, Promises in Gray was born:)