Shattered
by Kat
Wish I was
Too dead to cry
Self-affliction fades
Sonny grimaced, shuddering from the cold metal scraping across his skin. Open cuts covered his face, neck, arms and back. One deep gash that ran down from temple to chin throbbed, burning incessantly. He licked his chapped lips tasting the blood that dripped from his lacerations.
Time seemed to have stopped and he couldn't begin to guess how long they'd been here. Slowly, steadily the coldness of the blade moved against his neck, down and over his blood stained shirtfront. He closed his eyes momentarily, bracing for the agony that was going to follow. It pierced the material carefully, almost lovingly, cutting into his skin.
He choked back a scream as the pressure increased and he felt the blade slide through his chest. His breath came in gasps as the wound spewed forth warm crimson. Through the red haze of pain and death, he felt her. That soft lilting voice he loved whispering in his ear
"You only hurt the one you love."
Stones to throw
At my creator
Masochist to which I cater
Carly gripped tightly, yanking the blade out with a flourish. "Isn't that how it goes?" Her empty smile sliced through his heart. Umber eyes stared blankly, coldly down at him. No recognition of who he was. Or what she was doing.
The sound of clapping filled the stillness of the chamber. He watched his enemy stride confidently to stand in front of him. He held his hand out to Carly and she relinquished her hold on the knife.
Without taking his swollen eyes away from Lorenzo he felt Carly take a seat off to his right where he couldn't see her clearly. He waited, knowing that the end was near. That this sick game was coming to a close.
Weakened, near defeat, he gave his bounds which had now begun to cut into his hands to the bone another try.
"Stop that." was her only command.
He did.
Lorenzo smiled at them and turned to face Carly. "Finish it."
You don't need to bother
I don't need to be
I'll keep slippin' farther
But once I am done, I won't let go 'til it bleeds
She nodded slowly, mechanically and advanced toward him. Sonny lifted his throbbing head, eyes half shut, his vision blurred and for a moment he saw her as she'd always been. Beautiful. Strong. His.
"How-" he choked, sharp metallic taste of blood flooding his mouth. He turned making an effort to clear his throat and taking pleasure in doing so, spit on Alcazar's shoe.
Another blow to the head and he almost lost consciousness. He knew he should try to keep alert, keep alive. For her more than himself. But that had felt good.
"I have a call to make. Arrangements for us. Do what you've been told Carly. When it's done meet me back at the lake house."
Sonny heard footsteps fade from the room, the distant click of a door opening and closing and he tensed, sensing her next to him. He felt her hands run gently over his sweat-soaked hair, smoothing it away from his face.
"How long...h-have we- been...?
She shrugged in answer. "Don't know. A while."
Carly blinked, shaking her head at the dizziness that hit her suddenly.
Letting his head drop momentarily he focused his gaze on the floor. Blood had begun to pool around the base of the chair and he stared at it, surprised. He hadn't realized how much of it he'd lost.
"What are you thinking?" she asked.
Craning his neck to look up at her he answered honestly, softly. "Just praying Jason gets here."
"Why? He won't be able to save you."
"I know."
Wish I was - too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me - to digest
"Then why?"
He chose not to answer. It would be better for her if he didn't. He closed his eyes willing Jason to arrive. He knew he'd be looking for them by now. And he was confident he'd find them. He'd make sure Carly was safe. Secure. He'd cover it all up. Erase the incident and she'd never know. She couldn't. It would kill her.
Her hand gripped at his hair, pulling his head back to look at her. "Tell me why."
He stared into those obsidian eyes that he recognized so well, studying their empty depths.
"He'll make it better. For both of us."
"He won't be able to stop this.
"He won't have to."
She tilted her head, her eyes searching his. "You're not - why don't you hate me?"
The words pierced deeper than any cut had so far. He whispered softly, hoping she wouldn't hear him. "I could never hate you."
Her eyes began to clear, to focus around her and she lessened her hold, looking around her surroundings as if she wasn't sure where she was. Sonny's heart fell to the floor. No. No. She couldn't be coming out of it. Her face began to crumble and she released him completely.
He wouldn't - he couldn't let her know.
He knew that he couldn't.
I wish I had a reason
My flaws are open season
For this I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying
It wasn't Carly. Somehow, Lorenzo had done something. He was controlling her. He'd tried convincing her of that at first. Before the pain had started. Before the cuts . Before all the hurt. From her rambling, between the spurts of torture, he'd realized she'd been programmed to kill him. Lorenzo had chosen his punishment for what he considered her betrayal.
She would kill that which she loved the most. Him.
Once the stabbing and beatings had started, he'd stopped fighting. He didn't want her to know. It would destroy her. It didn't matter that it wasn't her fault. She would take the blame on herself. He knew well what that could do to her. And in her state of mind it would kill her.
Jason would find them. He would know what had to be done. That what happened in this room could never be discovered. He'd make sure no trace of Sonny would be found and...
He would take care of Carly.
You don't need bother
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I'm done, I won't let go 'til it bleeds
That had given him peace. But now -
Now she was starting to remember how things really were. That she felt more for him than hate. That she loved him.
He wouldn't let her.
"You hate me Carly, remember?"
She gazed at him with hurt-filled eyes. She started to nod slowly, stopping suddenly, confusion marring her face, "I...do I?"
Oh jesus...no...
"Yes. You do. I did this to you. I allowed those people to hurt you, remember?" He poured out what he felt deep in soul. His guilt. He took it from her. "I caused it all."
His voice was weakening, his focus fading and the light dimmed around her.
Carly continued to stare at him, her eyes beginning to absorb her surrounding. She glanced at her hand, noting the knife that she held tightly. It clattered to the floor as she let it go. Her vision clearing, her thoughts no longer jumbled and confused. "That's - that's not-"
Something was wrong. She knew it. This wasn't right. This wasn't as it should be.
Wish I died - Instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten with it's memories
Diaries left with cryptic entries
"Yes it is!" Sonny croaked. "You would be home with the boys if it weren't for me. Remember that."
She kneeled in front of him now and he begged silently to not see himself in her eyes. Begged that she never remember any of this. That Jason get to them before...
His face was so familiar. Under the blood and pain that etched across it, there was a beauty she knew.
Images rushed through her mind without halting. The clearest one of the man in front of her.
Carly eyes widened. "Sonny...oh god..."
And you don't need to bother
I don't need to be
(I don't need to be)
I'll keep slipping farther
She could hear her captor's voice drilling in her mind. Loyalty and taking care of those that had hurt her should be her first priority he'd said.
Sonny felt her tears on his face as she gathered his head in her hands.
"No...Carly...don't...Carly..."
What had she done? What had Alcazar made her do? She choked down a scream as she saw him, truly saw Sonny for the first time. "Sonny. Oh my god." She fumbled with his bounds trying desperately to release him.
He fell to the ground when the ropes no longer held him.
Carly placed his head gently on her lap. "What did I do?"
Sonny shook his head, using strength he wasn't sure he had. "It wasn't you, baby. It wasn't you."
But once I'm done, I won't let go until it bleeds
You don't need to bother
I don't need to be yeah
(I don'ttttt neeeeedd to beeeeee)
I'll keep slipping farther
Her hands covered her mouth at the sight of his broken body. "Oh my god."
Sonny felt himself slipping away. He needed to stop her from doing what was in her eyes. "Don't you blame...don't blame yourself. I deserved this. For not believing in you."
Carly shook her head. "No. No. This...god no." She wiped at the blood and soot that covered his face. "Don't go. I can't..."
He touched her hand. "Don't do it. Don't...don't you give up, Caroline. You stay. You belong here. Don't-don't give up. Don't you let him win."
She cradled him gently, rocking back and forth, sobs raking her body.
"Listen to me. Alcazar did this. Do yo-you understand? He did this. Not you."
He wasn't sure if she could hear him but he prayed she could. There was a change in the air and he noticed a figure standing in the door frame. Jason's face registered the horror in the room. Sonny watched his mouth move as he stepped toward them but couldn't hear what was said.
Blackness nipped at the edges, overtaking him. He looked into her face, ravaged by guilt and sorrow, raising his hand to it. Hoping to reassure her of what he'd said.
"I always loved you. You always loved me. Believe in that."
His hand fell as he closed his eyes, peace washing over him, stopping the pain...
Once I hold on
I'll never look down my deceit
Lyrics: Bother by Stone Sour