JUST A LITTLE BIT OF SILLINESS. THIS STORY IS CO-WRITTEN BY MY BETA. I ASKED HER OPINION ON WHICH STORY I SHOULD WRITE NEXT AND SHE SUGGESTED THIS ONE AND WE COULDN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. ENJOY.
"I fucking know I saw it yesterday; it was right fucking here", Said Bobby as he opened one cupboard after another. His very favorite, nickel lined copper bottomed roasting pan was gone. The more he looked the wilder he looked, his crazy hair becoming crazier, matching his piercing gaze.
Now most of us think of him as the easy going banana bread making hippy of the Sons. And he is, and his kitchen is hallowed ground, if you want to live you do not fuck with Bobby's kitchen. Sure Gemma or the sweet butts can make coffee or the occasional lunch for one of the Sons. BUT NO ONE FUCKS WITH BOBBY'S COOK WEAR!
He had come up on this sale of fresh ham and bought one that would exactly fit his beloved pan. No pan no roast, no garlic potatoes, no gravy, no corn on the cob…nothing is going to happen until the pan appears.
Unknown to Bobby and to the rest of the club, Tig had acquired a new girl last night. Not an unusual occurrence at all. This new girl had some special needs that only could be met by the pan. No way would Tig ever admit he had a problem, it was bad enough every fucking body knew about the doll thing, but this was something different. She was a beauty, the sable color of her hair, the softly glowing blue eyes had sucked him right in. Her sweet manner, and the calming effect she had on the crazy biker, was not to be broadcast for the whole fucking club to know about. He had to keep her to himself for as long as possible.
She was such a little thing, he handled her with the utmost care, and tenderness, and she was his baby, his baby girl. That's what he her. Baby girl, and in return she would touch his cheek with the softest little touch, it made him sigh, in total contentment. And he was determined that she would have the best of everything he could find for her. Which was why he took Bobby's new pan when he wasn't looking. Tig knew Bobby was searching for it at this very minute, But Tig's new baby girl needed it to use the bathroom.
Tig went out and bought her all the best stuff. She would never want for anything in her whole life. He had just found her and he was already madly in love with her and he would never let her go. He would die before he let that happen. Everyone couuld hear Bobby screaming. He was really pissed off about that pan. Tig wasn't going to go out there and tell Bobby what had happened to his pan. Not that he was a coward, but Bobby cooked all t he food in the clubhouse. Tig didn't feel like getting food poisioning. Plus he knew once everyone found out about her, They would all want a turn and there was NO WAY that was going to happen.
By now, Bobby was extremely pissed off. He had gone through the entire kitchen and not found his new pan. He even had the prospect looking in the bar for it. He made his way to the dorms to ask Tig if he had seen it. He opened Tig's door and walked in. Tig was laying on the bed. When Bobby walked in, Tig shot off the bed. He wasn't in time to stop Bobby. As soon as Bobby laid eyes on h is new pan, his left eye started twitching.
Bobby fixed Tig with a death glare. Tig was actually a little bit scared of Bobby at that moment. Bobby only had one rule. NEVER EVER FUCK WITH HIS PANS. And Tig had not only stolen one, He had given it to his new baby to use as a bathroom. Tig quickly put his hands up as Bobby advanced on him. "Bobby. Calm down. " Tig backed up until his legs hit the bed and he fell backwards.
Bobby stood over Tig and Tig's life flashed before his eyes. "You took my brand new pan so your new piece of tail could use it as a bathrrom?" Bobby asked Tig in a low deadly voice. Tig could only nod. Bobby's face turned bright red. This situation would have been funny to Tig if Bobby didn't look like he was in danger of having a heart attack. And if he didn't look he was about to rip Tig limb from limb.
Tig was no pussy. He had served as a marine and done several stints in jail, But he had never felt as scared as he did right now with Bobby standing over him. Bobby leaned down and put his hands on both of Tig shoulders. Tig squeezed his eyes shut, Not wanting to see it coming. But the blow never came. Tig slowly opened his eyes and saw that Bobby was standing there looking at him in amusement. "Dude calm down. I'm not going to kill you. Not over a pan anyway. But you are going to buy me a new one. " Bobby informed him, Cuffing him on the back of the head as he walked out of the room and shut the door.
Tig let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding. Suddenly his new baby came out of the bathroom and climbed on his lap and laid down. Tig absentmindely started petting her. She started purring and rolled over on her back for belly rubs. Tig Trager, Sgt. at arms for the mother charter of the sons of anarchy had been brought to his knees by a ten pound cat. He had even stolen Bobby's new pan and turned it into a litter box.